Cue the fake horns! It’s time for us to gorge ourselves on a banquet of cheese! Three-seed The Final Countdown from the Swedish band Europe breaks down the doors of propriety and demands that you listen to it now! Who would dare to take on this Velveeta Icon? A little outfit called Love and Rockets, that’s who! They bring their fourteen-seed challenger “So Alive” to the table. Give it a listen.

Today’s matchup features a video which contains the most 80s footwear imaginable. Seriously, check out the shoe/sock combo worn by the guitarist of The Outfield. Their six-seed “Your Love” goes up against eleven-seed “The Promise” by When in Rome, who aren’t wearing super-80s shoes, but do have some amazing hair going for them. Or maybe you’ll just want to listen to the music.

You know those matchups where people are all pissed off because it’s two songs they really like and they’re forced to vote on them in the first round and then a song they like is out just like that? Yeah, this is one of those. It’s four-seed “Never Tear Us Apart” by legendary Australian group INXS against German synth-poppers Alphaville, with thirteen-seed “Forever Young.” Happy shitty choice day, everyone!

In our third episode of Side B’s Foreigners (Still without Foreigner) Region, we’ve got five-seed “The Look” by Swedish pop duo Roxette taking on British rock band New Order with “Bizarre Love Triangle.” Say, you know what would be a really bizarre love triangle? If two clams both fell in love with the same starfish. How on earth would they work it out?

Which makes you more uncomfortable, a weird, menacing clown-man in a yellow plaid suit or a singer who is about to sexually assault the camera? Two seriously odd videos; two pretty solid songs. Jazz-funksters Level 42 give us eight-seed “Something About You” to go up against nine-seed “(I Just) Died in Your Arms” from rock outfit Cutting Crew. Let us know your thoughts!

 Let’s! Get! Gothy! No, seriously, it’s time to slather on your pale foundation, throw some eyeliner under those peepers and get ready for The Cure! (Also Pet Shop Boys.) Seriously, though, two great bands, two amazing songs, as top-seeded “West End Girls” by Brit synth-pop duo Pet Shop Boys takes on woefully under-rated sixteen-seed “Just Like Heaven” from Robert Smith and The Cure. Give it a listen!

Here it is: the last region of Side B! And, folks, we saved the best for last. There’s not an “Iko Iko” in sight as we bring you the region preview for the Foreigners (STILL Without Foreigner) Region. So. Many. Great. Songs! Seriously, this one’s good. Give a listen!

SCROLL NO FURTHER IF YOU WISH TO AVOID REGION SPOILERS!

The Singers Region comes to a thunderous conclusion as the massive talent of Nu Shooz goes up against the god-like singing prowess of Milli Vanilli! It’s two-seed “I Can’t Wait” against fifteen-seed “Girl You Know It’s True.” And let’s pause a second to ask ourselves: does she know it’s true? How can we be sure? All this, plus: an ending so epic, you have to listen to it to believe it. Wow.

Leslie Wunderman or Ho-Jo, who’s your preference? What’s that? You have no idea who I’m talking about? What if I ask about Taylor Dayne and Howard Jones? Do those names ring a bell? You’re goddamn right they do. In this episode, we have Taylor’s seven-seed “Tell It to My Heart” against Ho-Jo’s ten-seed “No One Is to Blame.” Well, Ho-Jo, *I* blame you…for being awesome!

Here’s the Taylor Dane bit from Tig Notaro, that Joe mentioned:

https://www.thisamericanlife.org/464/invisible-made-visible/act-two-3

 Hey 80s-est Listeners! You’re about to get…Rick Rolled! What is a Rick Roll, you ask? Happy to tell you: at my favorite local sushi place, a Rick Roll is a sweet-potato tempura and asparagus maki with Kewpie mayo. It’s pretty good. Anyway, today’s show has three-seed “Never Gonna Give You Up” from Rick Astley taking on fourteen-seed “Naughty Girls (Need Love, Too)” from Samantha Fox. 🦊