February 15, 2024

The 90/10 Rule | Taking Your Spouse For Granted

23 minutes

Adam heard something very interesting on a podcast the other day, which said often they see couples all around them, who are in their mid 40s, get divorced over the 10% of things that frustrate them, or annoy them, or that they wish were different, etc. and they set aside the 90% of things that they love about their spouse. “It is so easy to get fixated on someone’s 10% if you’re frustrated with your own life.” In preparation of talking about the 10%, talk often about the 90% of things you love about your spouse to soften the blow when it’s time to talk about the 10%.

Fixation on the 10% 1:30
A lot of the things you learn in marriage can guide raising children 7:30
A simple example of showing affection 13:30

“What I should really do is learn to embrace it and be like ‘if he gets his hug, he’s not gonna worry about us being late.’ but I’m used to you not being late, so I’m prioritising rushing to get out, and then it’s like, oh my goodness, I don’t want you to be frustrated because we’re late. It’s like a lose-lose.” 14:05

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