Abe talks about news with the "main-stream media" and helpfully corrects their internal contradictions.

TIME: Has McCain flip-flopped on torture?!?! ABE: Yes. TIME: NO! Wait, what?

ABC: Cheney knew about about TORTURE - but but Bush didn't.

Obama: I'd hire Gore.

China: Buddhism is the darkest slavery in human history. Oh - and we're always going to be oppressive and murderous communists no matter teh popular vote.