The Absurdists

Watch the full episode:

In this delightful and laugh-out-loud episode of The Absurdists, co-hosts Mary Murphy and Marlo Anderson take us on a whimsical stroll through the past. Together, they explore a variety of once-popular phenomena and inventions, rating them as either “Baby, Come Back” or “Forget About It.” Prepare yourself for an entertaining blend of nostalgia, absurdity, and quirky insights as the duo dissects bygone cultural staples and ponders their place in today’s world.

Mary and Marlo kick things off with a deep dive into the pet rock phenomenon. From googly eyes to DIY versions, they ponder the rock’s utility as the ultimate low-maintenance pet—and a hilarious fallback gift for awkward social situations. Would the pet rock be a hit if it made a comeback today? Mary’s verdict? “Baby, Come Back.”

Remember drive-in theaters? Marlo shares tales of cramming friends into car trunks to save a few bucks, while Mary recalls the questionable sound quality and lumpy French fries. Though it stirs up fond memories, both hosts ultimately agree this one is a “Forget About It.”

The duo reminisces about the ubiquity of cigarette vending machines in the mid-20th century. With no ID checks, these machines were a fixture in laundromats and grocery stores. The absurdity of their unregulated accessibility leads both hosts to give this relic a firm “Forget About It.”

Marlo fondly recounts his encounters with soda jerks, the original mixologists who crafted fizzy drinks from syrups and soda water. Mary, intrigued by this bygone experience, votes “Baby, Come Back,” envisioning a revival of soda fountains in nostalgic eateries.

The rivalry between VHS and Betamax gets the absurdist treatment as Marlo shares a popular (if disputed) theory: the adult film industry’s role in VHS’s victory. While the higher quality of Betamax impressed professionals, its shorter recording time and pricier machines sealed its fate.

Waterbeds were a sensation in the 70s and 80s, but their leaks, high maintenance, and the infamous patch kits made them more trouble than they were worth. Despite their nostalgic charm, both Mary and Marlo agree they’re better left in the past.

Nothing screams early internet like the screeching tones of a dial-up modem. Mary and Marlo hilariously recount the agony of losing a connection when someone picked up the phone. Nostalgic? Yes. But neither wants to relive those frustrating days. Verdict? “Forget About It.”

While the traditional image of a milkman in a white uniform may no longer exist, modern-day milk delivery services still thrive in some communities. Both hosts celebrate its evolution, voting “Baby, Come Back.”

Marlo and Mary debate the merits of phone booths, with Marlo highlighting their nostalgic charm and Mary dreaming of modern “cone of silence” booths for noisy public phone users. The verdict remains mixed, but Mary’s vision for their revival feels more relevant than ever.

In a heartfelt closing, Mary declares her undying love for the original MySpace, reminiscing about its customizable pages and band promotions. She proudly states, “I will die on this hill: Baby, Come Back.”

This episode is a love letter to the absurdities of the past and the quirks of human innovation. Whether reminiscing about soda jerks or cringing at the thought of waterbeds, Mary and Marlo guide us through a delightful mix of history and hilarity.

Join The Absurdists for this nostalgic journey, and don’t forget to share your own “Baby, Come Back” or “Forget About It” moments in the comments. Stay absurd!

Free PDF: 50 Absurdities You Can’t Unknow. Plus new episodes in your inbox every week.

Suggest a topicGet the PDF

Marlo Anderson and Mary Murphy dig into the most absurd world records they could find: Ted Hastings wearing 260 T-shirts at once, David Rush balancing a running lawnmower on his chin for over nine minutes, the longest fingernails ever grown, a 125-scoop ice cream cone, watermelons smashed with a head, sprinting in high heels, a man who breaks toilet seats with his head, and Marlo's own record for the world's longest chicken dance. The Absurdists, where logic takes a back seat.

Marlo Anderson and Mary Murphy laugh their way through the world's weirdest rituals: why we say "bless you," the science behind our daily routines, presidential turkey pardons, Groundhog Day, cheese rolling, cherry-pit spitting, ostrich racing, and festivals where people jump over babies and carve radishes. The Absurdists, where logic takes a back seat.

One of the first theories discussed is Birds Aren’t Real, a satirical internet movement claiming that birds are actually government surveillance drones. According to the joke, all birds were replaced by mechanical lookalikes between 1959 and 1971. Our hosts humorously point out the existence of ornithology and the impracticality of such a massive undertaking.

“If these are drones,” Mary quips, “they’ve missed a critical feature – stopping the robotic birds from pooping on us!”

The podcast explores the conspiracy surrounding Denver International Airport, alleged to be a secret base for the Illuminati. Marlo and Mary discuss:

“It’s fascinating how everyday places can become the center of such elaborate theories,” Marlo observes.

Our hosts tackle the Hollow Earth theory, which suggests that entire civilizations exist beneath the Earth’s surface. They examine:

Mary jokes, “If the Earth is hollow, where does all the magma for volcanoes come from? A really big Instant Pot?”

The long-standing theory that Paul McCartney died in 1966 and was replaced by a lookalike gets a thorough examination. Key points include:

“If it’s true,” Marlo laughs, “the replacement Paul has had an even more impressive career than the original!”

The episode concludes with a discussion on chemtrails, the belief that airplane contrails are actually chemical agents used for nefarious purposes. Marlo and Mary explore:

“If chemtrails were real,” Mary ponders, “wouldn’t the people spraying them be affected too?”

While The Absurdists approach these theories with humor, they also delve into why people believe in conspiracy theories. Some reasons include:

As Marlo notes, “Understanding why people believe in conspiracy theories can help us approach these discussions with empathy.”

The Absurdists remind listeners that while it’s fun to explore outlandish ideas, it’s crucial to approach information with a balance of curiosity and skepticism. By examining conspiracy theories, we can sharpen our critical thinking skills and better navigate the complex information landscape of the modern world.

“At the end of the day,” Mary concludes, “it’s about asking questions, seeking evidence, and not being afraid to change our minds when presented with new information.”

Stay tuned for future episodes of The Absurdists, where Marlo and Mary continue to explore the strange, silly, and downright absurd aspects of our world!

Further Reading:

Free PDF: 50 Absurdities You Can’t Unknow. Plus new episodes in your inbox every week.

Suggest a topicGet the PDF

In Episode 10 of The Absurdists, Marlo Anderson and Mary Murphy take listeners on a journey into the absurdity of beloved childhood nursery rhymes. But this time, they’re not just recalling the catchy tunes from our youth—they’re digging deep into the surprisingly dark and twisted origins of these innocent-sounding jingles.

Exploring the Dark Side of Nursery Rhymes

From Humpty Dumpty’s tragic fall to the grim reality behind “Ring Around the Rosie,” nursery rhymes have far more sinister histories than their playful melodies suggest. Marlo and Mary explore how these stories, often passed down through generations, hold dark tales about royalty, plague, and even unwanted pregnancies. Yes, you read that right—an unexpected twist to the cheery rhymes we’ve been singing for ages.

Humpty Dumpty’s Hidden Meaning

Starting off with Humpty Dumpty, Marlo and Mary don’t just stop at the iconic line of the great fall. The hosts peel back the layers of the rhyme and explore a popular (but unproven) theory that it’s a dark political metaphor about King Richard III. This perspective is not only eye-opening but also a little chilling when considering how we sing it so casually to children.

Jack and Jill’s Grief-Stricken End

The hosts then move on to Jack and Jill, a seemingly harmless rhyme about fetching a pail of water. But according to one Somerset legend, it hides a tragic tale of an unwanted pregnancy and a fatal fall. With their trademark absurdist humor, Marlo and Mary breathe new life into the rhyme, making listeners question everything they thought they knew about this famous duo.

The Absurdity of “Ring Around the Rosie”

Possibly one of the most well-known nursery rhymes, “Ring Around the Rosie” is often said to be filled with coded references to the Black Plague. In this episode, the hosts break down that grim theory (folklorists call it more myth than history), and how its cheery exterior supposedly masks a reality of death, ashes, and survival during one of Europe’s darkest times.

A New Take on Mother Goose

Marlo and Mary finish off the episode with some fun musings about reimagining these rhymes through an absurdist lens. Could they create their own modern-day versions of Mother Goose? They certainly think so, leaving listeners wondering what bizarre nursery rhymes the duo could come up with next.

What’s Next?

As always, Marlo and Mary leave listeners in suspense for next week’s episode, promising more absurdity and laughter. If nursery rhymes weren’t enough to blow your mind, stay tuned for even more deep dives into the most ridiculous and strange topics only The Absurdists can deliver.

Catch the full episode and more on The Absurdists, and don’t forget to subscribe to keep the absurdity alive!

Free PDF: 50 Absurdities You Can’t Unknow. Plus new episodes in your inbox every week.

Suggest a topicGet the PDF

In this hilariously absurd episode of The Absurdists, hosts Marlo Anderson and Mary Murphy take us on a whimsical journey through their recent experiences and quirky observations. Marlo shares stories from his recent travels to London and Paris, offering a unique perspective on everything from international McDonald’s menus to cross-cultural miscommunications.

The episode kicks off with Marlo’s adventures in Europe, where he had a run-in with the famed Chicken Big Mac, but the real fun starts when he discusses his perplexing experiences with common courtesy. Is chivalry dead? Well, Marlo certainly feels like it might be, after opening doors for strangers in London, only to be berated for his kindness. The duo explores the awkward nuances of human interactions, such as when it’s appropriate to hold a door open and how people react to simple gestures of politeness.

The discussion then takes a dive into one of life’s great mysteries: Why do we say “bless you” when someone sneezes but not when they cough? Mary uncovers the fascinating origins of this centuries-old tradition, revealing an unexpected link to pagan beliefs. As always, the pair’s humorous banter makes even the history of sneezing a laugh-out-loud moment.

But the absurdity doesn’t stop there! Marlo and Mary also tackle the curious dilemma of elevator etiquette. Do you engage with strangers or pretend they don’t exist? And why does striking up a conversation in an elevator feel more absurd in some cultures than in others? They share funny stories from their travels and dissect the bizarre nature of human behavior in these confined spaces.

The episode wraps up with a surprising twist when Mary reveals her recent foray into trying crickets – yes, you read that right – during a tequila tasting in Mexico. Who knew crickets could taste like pistachios? But beware of the legs and antennae that get stuck in your teeth! If you’ve ever wondered about the culinary delights of insect-eating or are simply curious to hear how tequila can make even crickets taste good, this episode is for you.

Highlights from Episode 9:

Whether you’re looking for a good laugh, a quirky travel story, or just want to hear the latest absurdities from Marlo and Mary, this episode has it all!

Tune in now to The Absurdists Episode 9 and embrace the absurd with us!

Free PDF: 50 Absurdities You Can’t Unknow. Plus new episodes in your inbox every week.

Suggest a topicGet the PDF

Hey there, folks! Marlo Anderson here, and boy, do I have a doozy of an episode to share with you. This week on The Absurdists, Mary and I took a deep dive into some of the craziest collections you’ve ever heard of. I mean, we’re not talking about your run-of-the-mill stamp collections here – we’re talking about the kind of stuff that’ll make you go, “Wait, what?”

First off, we’ve got this guy who’s collected over 500 traffic cones. Can you imagine? I joked with Mary that he’s got enough to close off a small city street! And get this – he calls himself “Cone Man the Barbarian.” I love it!

Then there’s this lady who’s got over 21,000 banana labels. Yeah, you heard that right – those little stickers on bananas. Mary filled me in on how there’s all sorts of info coded on those things. Who knew?

But wait, it gets weirder. We’re talking belly button lint collections, air sickness bags, and even – I kid you not – fossilized feces. I told Mary I’d display that right next to my chickens in the office. (By the way, if anyone’s thinking of getting me a gift, I’ve got plenty of chickens now, thanks!)

Mary shared her aversion to collections of dolls and anything with faces. Me? I accidentally started a metal art collection in my front yard. Life’s funny that way, isn’t it?

We even hatched a plan to help out an air sickness bag collector. So if you’re flying soon, maybe grab an extra bag and send it our way. We’ll make sure it gets to the right place!

You know, as absurd as some of these collections sound, you’ve got to admire the passion these folks have. It just goes to show, there’s a collector for everything under the sun.

So, what’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever collected? Drop us a line and let us know. And hey, if you’re ever in North Dakota, swing by and check out my metal art “collection.” Just don’t expect any fossilized feces – I draw the line somewhere!

Catch you next week for another wild ride on The Absurdists. It’s gonna be a hoot!

Free PDF: 50 Absurdities You Can’t Unknow. Plus new episodes in your inbox every week.

Suggest a topicGet the PDF

Have you ever picked up a product and burst out laughing at its warning label? You’re not alone! In a recent episode of The Absurdists, hosts Marlo Anderson and Mary Murphy took a deep dive into the world of the most bizarre and downright absurd warning labels ever slapped onto consumer products. Buckle up (but not in your wheelbarrow) as we take you on a wild ride through some of the most head-scratching cautionary notes out there!

Imagine cruising down the interstate, wind in your hair, sun on your face… pushing a wheelbarrow? Believe it or not, some manufacturers felt the need to warn against using wheelbarrows on highways. One can only wonder what series of events led to this particular piece of advice. Perhaps someone tried to hitch their wheelbarrow to the back of their car for a cross-country move?

We all want to look our best, but at what cost? Apparently, some folks needed to be reminded that using a hair dryer while sleeping is not a great idea. Our hosts had a field day imagining scenarios where someone might think this was a brilliant solution for staying warm in bed. Spoiler alert: it’s not!

In a shocking revelation, it turns out that holding the wrong end of a chainsaw can be dangerous. Who knew? Marlo and Mary couldn’t help but ponder the series of life choices that would lead someone to need this particular warning. Remember, folks: the part with the teeth? That’s the business end!

Just when you thought you’d heard it all, along comes a warning label advising against drying pets in the microwave. Mary’s reaction to this bombshell was priceless, as she grappled with the idea that such a warning was necessary. Let’s all agree to stick to towels for our furry friends, shall we?

In a blow to superhero enthusiasts everywhere, some Superman costumes come with a reminder that wearers cannot actually fly. Our hosts wondered if other superhero costumes might need similar reality checks. “Warning: Wearing this Spider-Man costume does not grant you the ability to shoot webs from your wrists.”

Ever been in such a rush that you considered ironing your clothes while wearing them? No? Well, someone out there must have, because there’s a warning label for that! Marlo and Mary had a good chuckle imagining the convenience versus the excruciating pain of attempting such a feat.

The absurdity doesn’t stop there. Our intrepid hosts uncovered a treasure trove of ridiculous labels, including:

As Marlo and Mary wrapped up their laughter-filled exploration of warning label lunacy, they left us with an important reminder: keep your eyes peeled for the absurd in everyday life. You never know when you might stumble upon a warning label that defies all logic and common sense.

So the next time you’re about to use a product, take a moment to read the label. You might just find yourself chuckling at the lengths manufacturers go to protect us from ourselves – and maybe, just maybe, you’ll learn not to use your hairdryer as a bedtime companion.

Stay tuned for more absurdity, and remember: when in doubt, don’t microwave your pets!

Want more laughs? Catch full episodes of The Absurdists at theabsurdistsshow.com and follow The Absurdists on social media for your daily dose of the ridiculous!

Free PDF: 50 Absurdities You Can’t Unknow. Plus new episodes in your inbox every week.

Suggest a topicGet the PDF

Hey everyone! Mary and Marlo here, bringing you the highlights from our latest episode of The Absurdists. We had such a great time diving into some of the everyday absurdities we all face—hyperconnectivity, the pursuit of happiness, and, of course, the myth of multitasking. If you missed the episode, here’s a little taste of what we discussed.

Hyperconnectivity: The Double-Edged Sword

Mary: Let’s start with how connected we all are these days. It’s pretty amazing that Marlo can be in Mandan, North Dakota, and I’m over in Las Vegas, Nevada, and we can still have these real-time conversations. It’s like magic! But then, there’s this funny thing—despite being so “connected,” people still feel isolated.

Marlo: Exactly! We talked about how people even pay to go on these retreats where they can unplug and disconnect. Meanwhile, all you really need to do is just turn your phone off for free! But who are we kidding? That’s easier said than done.

Mary: Oh, totally. The irony of it all is absurd. We’re so attached to our devices that we forget we have the power to disconnect whenever we want. But somehow, we’re always drawn back in. It’s like a digital tether!

Chasing Happiness: The Absurdity of the Pursuit

Marlo: Speaking of irony, we couldn’t help but talk about the pursuit of happiness. Society puts so much pressure on us to chase happiness like it’s some kind of prize to be won. But the harder you chase it, the more elusive it becomes.

Mary: Exactly! Happiness isn’t a finish line you cross; it’s something you create every day. And let’s be honest, sometimes it’s the small things that bring us joy—like sitting on the couch with your dog or watching a sunset. For me, happiness comes in many forms, and it changes day by day.

Marlo: Same here. I find happiness in my love for gadgets and meeting new people. But I’ve realized that if you stress yourself out trying to “achieve” happiness, it’s counterproductive. The absurdity of chasing happiness often leads to anything but!

The Multitasking Myth: Less is More

Mary: Now, let’s talk about multitasking. For years, I thought I was a pro at it—after all, as a project manager, it’s kind of my job to juggle multiple things at once. But over time, I learned that multitasking is the enemy of efficiency.

Marlo: I can relate to that. I used to pride myself on being able to handle a million things at once, but now I see that it actually makes me less productive. It’s like spinning plates—you think you’re keeping everything going, but eventually, they all come crashing down.

Mary: Exactly! We agreed that there’s real satisfaction in completing a task from start to finish. But when you’re constantly multitasking, nothing ever feels done, and that’s a huge stressor. It’s absurd that we glorify something that drains us so much.

Finding Simplicity in a Complicated World

Marlo: One of our biggest takeaways from this episode was how important it is to set boundaries and goals in order to simplify life. Whether it’s about using technology wisely, balancing personal obligations, or focusing on work, simplicity can be a game-changer.

Mary: Definitely. Simplicity doesn’t mean stripping away everything—it just means knowing when to stop and prioritize. We both realized that in our pursuit of simplicity, we sometimes end up adding more to our plates (apps, gadgets, you name it) when the answer might just be doing less.

Marlo: Yep, simplicity is the key to avoiding the absurdity of over-complication. And embracing that mindset makes life a little lighter.

Wrapping it All Up

Mary: We hope our chat about these absurdities brings a little light and humor to your day. Life is full of quirks, but if we can laugh about them, it makes the journey a lot more enjoyable.

Marlo: Absolutely. Thanks for reading, and don’t forget to check out the latest episode of The Absurdists. We’re here to remind you that life doesn’t always have to make sense—and that’s okay!

Mary: Stay curious, embrace the absurd, and remember to find joy in the unexpected.

Marlo & Mary

A Hilarious Return The episode kicks off with Marlo and Mary joking about their absence from each other’s lives, likening it to ghosting—a theme that threads through their conversation. They humorously explore the concept of ghosting, its different types, and how it plays into their busy lives.

The Absurdity of Being Busy Marlo and Mary dive into the definition of being busy and when it becomes a valid excuse for not communicating. They touch on the importance of mental wellbeing and how personal downtime, even if it means just sitting on the couch watching Netflix, can sometimes take precedence over social obligations. They discuss how society’s expectation of constant availability can lead to stress and miscommunication.

The Etiquette of Ghosting Marlo shares his take on the various types of ghosting—soft, silent, and half ghosting—explaining how they manifest in real-life interactions. Mary adds her experiences, highlighting how different people interpret the cessation of communication and the unspoken rules that often lead to misunderstandings.

Prank Calls and Whistle Inspectors A highlight of the episode is Marlo’s recounting of his and his partner’s prank on a scammer, involving a fake whistle inspector scenario. This story brings a light-hearted break to the discussion, showcasing their penchant for fun and mischief even in the face of annoyance.

Modern Communication Challenges The duo discusses the challenges of modern communication, from the expectations surrounding quick text responses to the frustration of managing multiple social media platforms. Marlo and Mary share their preferences and frustrations, shedding light on the absurdity of today’s communication norms.

The Evolution of Communication The conversation shifts to a broader view of communication evolution—from letters to emails, and now to texting and social media. They reflect on how these changes have impacted personal and professional interactions, often adding layers of complexity rather than simplifying communication.

Ghosting and Etiquette in the Digital Age They explore how ghosting has become a part of digital communication, discussing its implications and how different generations handle it. Marlo and Mary emphasize the importance of giving each other grace and understanding in our increasingly busy and digitally connected lives.

Engagement and Humor The episode concludes with Marlo and Mary inviting listeners to share their own experiences and absurd stories, reinforcing the interactive and community-focused nature of their show. They hint at potential future radio broadcasts and express their excitement about the journey ahead.

Conclusion This episode of The Absurdists is a delightful exploration of the absurdities in modern communication. Marlo and Mary’s humorous take on ghosting, the challenges of being perpetually busy, and their hilarious prank call stories make for an entertaining and thought-provoking listen. Whether you’re navigating the complexities of texting etiquette or just looking for a good laugh, this episode has something for everyone.

Stay tuned for more absurd adventures with Marlo and Mary, and remember to embrace the bizarre in your own life!