The Actualising Woman

By Clare Llewellyn-Bailey

The Actualising Woman is an empowering space for late-diagnosed autistic (ASD) + ADHD women to navigate unmasking, rebuild identity, and learn how to set healthy boundaries, and develop self-accept

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FAQs about The Actualising Woman:

How many episodes does The Actualising Woman have?

The podcast currently has 10 episodes available.

The Actualising Woman episodes:

February 16, 2026 AUDHD MASKING + UNMASKING | PROs +CONs | Late Diagnosed | Authentic + Congruence Identity
AUDHD MASKING + UNMASKING | PROs +CONs | Late Diagnosed | Authentic + Congruence Identity. My experiences so far!

In this deeply personal episode on AuDHD masking and unmasking, I explore the pros and cons of camouflaging as a late-diagnosed autistic + ADHD woman and what it truly means to rediscover your authentic, congruent identity after diagnosis.
If you’ve received a late Autism diagnosis, ADHD diagnosis, or identify as AuDHD and feel confused, grieving, angry, or unsure who you are beneath decades of people-pleasing, perfectionism, trauma responses, burnout, anxiety, or breakdown, this conversation is for you. I share my lived experience of masking, the mental and physical toll of long-term camouflaging, why unmasking can shift relationships (and sometimes lead to loss), and how to begin reclaiming your true self with self-compassion, nervous system awareness, and emotional safety.

🌸 This channel supports late-diagnosed neurodivergent women navigating identity shifts, self-acceptance, boundaries, CPTSD recovery, self-parenting, and authentic living post-diagnosis.
If you are questioning who you are when you stop managing how you’re perceived, and are ready to explore unmasking safely and intentionally, you are not alone here🌷Subscribe for unmasked chat about AuDHD, mental health and self-actualisation 🌷
Contact: [email protected] for requests, feedback, questions and stories for the show

☕Girl needs COFFEE! Please donate ANY amount, so that I can do this full time?! Thank you!
https://buymeacoffee.com/theactualisingwoman

🎧Check Out!!...ADHD + ASD Sounds - Our Sound Podcast for ASD, ADHD & AuDHD-ers. For Regulation, Focus, Sleep + Study. Available on Apple & Amazon Music https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/adhd-+-asd-sounds/id1791537814

Clare Llewellyn-Bailey: Counselling psychotherapist, podcaster, empty-nester, and AuDHD-er!!
Support the show
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39min
January 27, 2026 PART 2 What is Actualisation? What does it MEAN to me? Becoming a Fully Functioning Person with AuDHD
PART 2. In this episode I'm outlining: 1. what actualisation means. 2. what it means to become a fully functioning person and 3. what does that mean for me in REAL terms? What changes do I need to make regarding self-development, what do I need more of, less of, to be able to live with psychological, financial and geographic FREEDOM?!
REFERENCE: Carl R Rogers ‘A Therapist’s View of Psychotherapy – On Becoming a Person', 1961 pg 191-192, pg 168-176
The Actualising Woman 🪴 is a raw, unfiltered diary of life after my late diagnosis of (Level 1) ASD & ADHD (AuDHD) and a mental breakdown at 58 🌸 I share my journey of living unmasked, rebuilding a congruent identity, and creating a life that truly fits ME, inspired by Carl Rogers’ Theory of Actualisation.
This channel is about growth, self-acceptance, and becoming a fully functioning, authentic, neurodivergent woman, and I hope my journey supports others walking a similar path 🌱

If YOU are navigating late-diagnosed ADHD, autism, or AuDHD 🌼, or rebuilding after a breakdown, you’ll find community, understanding and hope here 🌺Subscribe for unmasked chat about AuDHD, mental health and self-actualisation 🌷
Contact: [email protected] for requests, feedback, questions and stories for the show
☕Girl needs COFFEE! Please donate ANY amount, so that I can do this full time?! Thank you!
https://buymeacoffee.com/theactualisingwoman

🎧Check Out!!... ADHD + ASD Sounds - Our Sound Podcast for ASD, ADHD & AuDHD-ers. For Regulation, Focus, Sleep + Study. Available on Apple & Amazon Music
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/adhd-+-asd-sounds/id1791537814

Clare Llewellyn-Bailey: Counselling psychotherapist, podcaster, empty-nester, and AuDHD-er!!
Support the show
...more
44min
December 12, 2025 PART 1 What's Your Plan Clare?? What Do You Need For You to Start Becoming a Fully Functioning Person? AKA - Actualise?
PART 1. In this one, I'm talking about (well... rambling on, really) a lightbulb moment I had in May 2022, which I've never got out of my head. A long term dream. BUT, it seems that it's only now that I'm ready for it to come to fruition. Why? Because certain experiences needed to be experienced first, for me to gain clarity about why the dream happened in the first place... Hindsight eh!
This plan of action, I'm hoping, will provide me with the sensory, social and financial security I have always needed, without realising. And only now, after my dual diagnosis of AuDHD, do I understand why I was always in such a miserable pickle, living the way I have been living!
The Actualising Woman 🪴 is a raw, unfiltered diary of life after my late diagnosis of (Level 1) ASD & ADHD (AuDHD) and a mental breakdown at 58 🌸 I share my journey of living unmasked, rebuilding a congruent identity, and creating a life that truly fits ME, inspired by Carl Rogers’ Theory of Actualisation.
This channel is about growth, self-acceptance, and becoming a fully functioning, authentic, neurodivergent woman, and I hope my journey supports others walking a similar path 🌱

If YOU are navigating late-diagnosed ADHD, autism, or AuDHD 🌼, or rebuilding after a breakdown, you’ll find community, understanding and hope here 🌺Subscribe for unmasked chat about AuDHD, mental health and self-actualisation 🌷
☕Girl needs COFFEE! Please donate ANY amount, so that I can do this full time?! Thank you!
https://buymeacoffee.com/theactualisingwoman

Contact: [email protected] for requests, feedback, questions and stories for the show

🎧Check Out!!...ASD + ADHD Sounds - Our Sound Podcast for ASD, ADHD & AuDHD-ers. For Regulation, Focus, Sleep + Study. Available on Apple & Amazon Music
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/adhd-+-asd-sounds/id1791537814

Clare Llewellyn-Bailey: Counselling psychotherapist, podcaster, empty-nester, and AuDHD-er!!
Support the show
...more
41min
November 25, 2025 How Does Congruence Help You Unmask as an ASD ADHD -er? - A Core Condition for Actualising The Ideal 'You'
How Does Congruence Help You Unmask as an ASD ADHD -er? - A Core Condition for Actualising The Ideal 'You'. I talk about how masking goes against your congruent self.. causing distress and misalignment.
The Actualising Woman 🪴 is a raw, unfiltered diary of life after my late diagnosis of (Level 1) ASD & ADHD (AuDHD) and a mental breakdown at 58 🌸 I share my journey of living unmasked, rebuilding a congruent identity, and creating a life that truly fits ME, inspired by Carl Rogers’ Theory of Actualisation.
This channel is about growth, self-acceptance, and becoming a fully functioning, authentic, neurodivergent woman, and I hope my journey supports others walking a similar path 🌱

If YOU are navigating late-diagnosed ADHD, autism, or AuDHD 🌼, or rebuilding after a breakdown, you’ll find community, understanding and hope here 🌺Subscribe for unmasked chat about AuDHD, mental health and self-actualisation 🌷
☕Girl needs COFFEE! Please donate ANY amount, so that I can do this full time?! Thank you!
https://buymeacoffee.com/theactualisingwoman
Contact: [email protected] for requests, feedback, questions and stories for the show

🎧Check Out!!...ASD + ADHD Sounds - Our Sound Podcast for ASD, ADHD & AuDHD-ers. For Regulation, Focus, Sleep + Study. Available on Apple & Amazon Music
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/adhd-+-asd-sounds/id1791537814

Clare Llewellyn-Bailey: Counselling psychotherapist, podcaster, empty-nester, and AuDHD-er!!
Support the show
...more
21min
November 16, 2025 How I'm Helping Myself Unmask and Process ADHD, ASD Diagnosis - Self Parenting, A Potato + The Actualising Tendency Carl Rogers
How I'm Helping Myself Unmask and Process My ADHD, ASD Diagnosis - Self Parenting + The Actualising Tendency Carl Rogers. Here's the story of how Carl Rogers came to learn about The Actualising Tendency! AND why he developed his theory of The Three Conditions required by therapists (and yourself) to create the PERFECT environment in which a person/you can thrive, heal, grow, reach full potential and ACTUALISE
This theory will underpin my journey towards actualisation. What's my PLAN?! How will I do it??
The Actualising Woman 🪴 is a raw, unfiltered diary of life after my late diagnosis of (Level 1) ASD & ADHD (AuDHD) and a mental breakdown at 58 🌸 I share my journey of living unmasked, rebuilding a congruent identity, and creating a life that truly fits ME, inspired by Carl Rogers’ Theory of Actualisation.
This channel is about growth, self-acceptance, and becoming a fully functioning, authentic, neurodivergent woman, and I hope my journey supports others walking a similar path 🌱

If YOU are navigating late-diagnosed ADHD, autism, or AuDHD 🌼, or rebuilding after a breakdown, you’ll find community, understanding and hope here 🌺Subscribe for unmasked chat about AuDHD, mental health and self-actualisation 🌷
☕Girl needs COFFEE! Please donate ANY amount, so that I can do this full time?! Thank you!
https://buymeacoffee.com/theactualisingwoman
Contact: [email protected] for requests, feedback, questions and stories for the show

🎧Check Out!!...ASD + ADHD Sounds - Our Sound Podcast for ASD, ADHD & AuDHD-ers. For Regulation, Focus, Sleep + Study. Available on Apple & Amazon Music
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/adhd-+-asd-sounds/id1791537814

Clare Llewellyn-Bailey: Counselling psychotherapist, podcaster, empty-nester, and AuDHD-er!!
Support the show
...more
19min
November 04, 2025 How Trauma & AuDHD Led Me to Chronic Negative Thinking & Breakdown
This episode is fully loaded! I talk about how having experienced trauma in childhood (and adulthood) alongside undiagnosed ADHD and ASD, had led me to my recent mental health breakdown. Heavy topics which I have only just touched on in this episode, but give an outline of what (I believe) have caused this life-changing experience. I talk about what I'm learning that I need to change about myself, so that I can live more healthily, authentically, in the world as an unmasked late-diagnosed woman. I am aiming for actualisation - and the first step to that is finding out who I am, how I take care of my emotional and physical needs, and what I need to ultimately survive and thrive!
The Actualising Woman 🪴 is a raw, unfiltered diary of life after my late diagnosis of (Level 1) ASD & ADHD (AuDHD) and a mental breakdown at 58 🌸 I share my journey of living unmasked, rebuilding a congruent identity, and creating a life that truly fits ME, inspired by Carl Rogers’ Theory of Actualisation.
This channel is about growth, self-acceptance, and becoming a fully functioning, authentic, neurodivergent woman, and I hope my journey supports others walking a similar path 🌱

If YOU are navigating late-diagnosed ADHD, autism, or AuDHD 🌼, or rebuilding after a breakdown, you’ll find community, understanding and hope here 🌺Subscribe for unmasked chat about AuDHD, mental health and self-actualisation 🌷
☕Girl needs COFFEE! Please donate ANY amount, so that I can do this full time?! Thank you!
https://buymeacoffee.com/theactualisingwoman

Contact: [email protected] for requests, feedback, questions and stories for the show

🎧Check Out!!...ASD + ADHD Sounds - Our Sound Podcast for ASD, ADHD & AuDHD-ers. For Regulation, Focus, Sleep + Study. Available on Apple & Amazon Music
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/adhd-+-asd-sounds/id1791537814

Clare Llewellyn-Bailey: Counselling psychotherapist, podcaster, empty-nester, and AuDHD-er!!
Support the show
...more
33min
October 14, 2025 Starting to Come Back to Myself - My NEW Self - Breakdown to Breakthrough as an AuDHD-er
Starting to Come Back to Myself - My NEW Self - Breakdown to Breakthrough as an AuDHD-er. I talk about how I move into an assessment phase, despite still feeling very vulnerable, emotional, sad and distressed. I assess Version 1 (the old Clare: the masker, the people-pleaser, etc) into Version 2, the Clare who has NO IDEA how to be unmasked in this world and knowing I cannot go back to V1 of myself. I can't get the toothpaste back in the tube!! The horse has bolted now and there's no way I can re-mask myself.
Includes: life review, dissociation (detachment from reality and time) and executive function malfunctioning!
The Actualising Woman 🪴 is a raw, unfiltered diary of life after my late diagnosis of (Level 1) ASD & ADHD (AuDHD) and a mental breakdown at 58 🌸 I share my journey of living unmasked, rebuilding a congruent identity, and creating a life that truly fits ME, inspired by Carl Rogers’ Theory of Actualisation.
This channel is about growth, self-acceptance, and becoming a fully functioning, authentic, neurodivergent woman, and I hope my journey supports others walking a similar path 🌱

If YOU are navigating late-diagnosed ADHD, autism, or AuDHD 🌼, or rebuilding after a breakdown, you’ll find community, understanding and hope here 🌺Subscribe for unmasked chat about AuDHD, mental health and self-actualisation 🌷
☕Girl needs COFFEE! Please donate ANY amount, so that I can do this full time?! Thank you!
https://buymeacoffee.com/theactualisingwoman

Contact: [email protected] for requests, feedback, questions and stories for the show

🎧Check Out!!...ASD + ADHD Sounds - Our Sound Podcast for ASD, ADHD & AuDHD-ers. For Regulation, Focus, Sleep + Study. Available on Apple & Amazon Music
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/adhd-+-asd-sounds/id1791537814

Clare Llewellyn-Bailey: Counselling psychotherapist, podcaster, empty-nester, and AuDHD-er!!
Support the show
...more
20min
October 06, 2025 Falling into Breakdown - What Was the Last Straw? AuDHD-er's Journey Towards Diagnosis
Falling into Breakdown. In this episode, I talk candidly about what caused my 'crash' into being mentally and physically incapacitated for 13+ weeks after months and years of extreme stress and worry. But what was the final straw?
Includes: life review, dissociation (detachment from reality and time) and executive function malfunctioning!
Trigger Warning - This one is a bit sad and dark, so if you're feeling wobbly, maybe give this episode a swerve!

The Actualising Woman 🪴 is a raw, unfiltered diary of life after my late diagnosis of (Level 1) ASD & ADHD (AuDHD) and a mental breakdown at 58 🌸 I share my journey of living unmasked, rebuilding a congruent identity, and creating a life that truly fits ME, inspired by Carl Rogers’ Theory of Actualisation.
This channel is about growth, self-acceptance, and becoming a fully functioning, authentic, neurodivergent woman, and I hope my journey supports others walking a similar path 🌱

If YOU are navigating late-diagnosed ADHD, autism, or AuDHD 🌼, or rebuilding after a breakdown, you’ll find community, understanding and hope here 🌺Subscribe for unmasked chat about AuDHD, mental health and self-actualisation 🌷
☕Girl needs COFFEE! Please donate ANY amount, so that I can do this full time?! Thank you!
https://buymeacoffee.com/theactualisingwoman

Contact: [email protected] for requests, feedback, questions and stories for the show

🎧Check Out!!...ASD + ADHD Sounds - Our Sound Podcast for ASD, ADHD & AuDHD-ers. For Regulation, Focus, Sleep + Study. Available on Apple & Amazon Music
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/adhd-+-asd-sounds/id1791537814

Clare Llewellyn-Bailey: Counselling psychotherapist, podcaster, empty-nester, and AuDHD-er!!
Support the show
...more
25min
September 25, 2025 My AuDHD Diagnosis How did THAT happen? Late Diagnosis Journey
My AuDHD Diagnosis How Did THAT happen? Late Diagnosis Journey
The Actualising Woman 🪴 is a raw, unfiltered diary of life after my late diagnosis of (Level 1) ASD & ADHD (AuDHD) and a mental breakdown at 58 🌸 I share my journey of living unmasked, rebuilding a congruent identity, and creating a life that truly fits ME, inspired by Carl Rogers’ Theory of Actualisation.
This channel is about growth, self-acceptance, and becoming a fully functioning, authentic, neurodivergent woman, and I hope my journey supports others walking a similar path 🌱

If YOU are navigating late-diagnosed ADHD, autism, or AuDHD 🌼, or rebuilding after a breakdown, you’ll find community, understanding and hope here 🌺Subscribe for unmasked chat about AuDHD, mental health and self-actualisation 🌷
☕Girl needs COFFEE! Please donate ANY amount, so that I can do this full time?! Thank you!
https://buymeacoffee.com/theactualisingwoman

Contact: [email protected] for requests, feedback, questions and stories for the show

🎧Check Out!!...ASD + ADHD Sounds - Our Sound Podcast for ASD, ADHD & AuDHD-ers. For Regulation, Focus, Sleep + Study. Available on Apple & Amazon Music
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/adhd-+-asd-sounds/id1791537814

Clare Llewellyn-Bailey: Counselling psychotherapist, podcaster, empty-nester, and AuDHD-er!!
Support the show
...more
32min
September 19, 2025 WELCOME to The Actualising Woman and Here's What to Expect
INTRODUCTION to The Actualising Woman... what to expect
The Actualising Woman 🪴is an unfiltered, raw diary of life after my late-diagnosis of (Level 1) ASD and ADHD (AuDHD) and a mental breakdown in 2025 at age 58 🌸
I talk candidly about how I’m learning to live unmasked, rebuilding a congruent identity and search for a life that finally fits ME (however unconventional and 'off the beaten track' it might seem!) so that I can freely become a fully functioning and actualising woman; and hopefully, helping you along the way too…🌱
I’m a counsellor trained in person-centred therapy, and I’m totally inspired by Carl Rogers (the king of person-centred therapy) and also his daughter Natalie Rogers who herself was an art therapist and wrote a fantastic book about her journey through the later stages of her life after HER life changing event.
And so, I’m focusing my future significant life-change ahead around Carl Rogers’ Theory of Actualisation 🌱 and his outline of changes and self-development we might ALL need to make, to be able to move towards becoming actualised… aka becoming a ‘Fully Functioning Person'.
In simple terms, I'm creating for myself the best possible environment in which I can thrive, reach my fullest potential and for once, after decades of highly masking, (to my detriment) I can learn to accept myself for who I am as a neurodivergent, and live congruently, UNMASKED🌸🌱

If YOU are navigating late-diagnosed ADHD, autism, or AuDHD 🌼, or rebuilding after a breakdown, you’ll find community, understanding and hope here 🌺Subscribe for unmasked chat about AuDHD, mental health and self-actualisation 🌷
☕Girl needs COFFEE! Please donate ANY amount, so that I can do this full time?! Thank you!
https://buymeacoffee.com/theactualisingwoman

Contact: [email protected] for requests, feedback, questions and stories for the show

🎧Check Out!!...ASD + ADHD Sounds - Our Sound Podcast for ASD, ADHD & AuDHD-ers. For Regulation, Focus, Sleep + Study. Available on Apple & Amazon Music
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/adhd-+-asd-sounds/id1791537814

Clare Llewellyn-Bailey: Counselling psychotherapist, podcaster, empty-nester, and AuDHD-er!!
Support the show
...more
10min

FAQs about The Actualising Woman:

How many episodes does The Actualising Woman have?

The podcast currently has 10 episodes available.