ADHD & Autism Diagnosis in Women: Finding Your Tribe After a Late Neurodivergent Diagnosis, Advocating for Your Needs. (Includes 8-12 sec. short breaks) 

Receiving a late diagnosis of ADHD or autism can be life-changing, confusing, and deeply emotional—especially for women who have spent decades masking their neurodivergence. In this episode of The Actualising Woman, Clare shares her personal journey after being diagnosed with ADHD in midlife and explores why finding the right support network is essential during the post-diagnosis identity shift. If you're a late-diagnosed neurodivergent woman navigating ADHD, ASD, or AuDHD, this conversation will help you understand how to identify safe and supportive people, how to talk about your diagnosis with family and friends, how to advocate for your needs and how to cope when some relationships fall away. Clare also shares powerful questions that can help reshape your inner circle as you begin your unmasking journey and learn to advocate for your needs. This episode offers guidance, validation, and encouragement for women rebuilding their identity, seeking community, and learning to thrive authentically after a neurodivergent diagnosis. 

🌸 The Actualising Woman is an empowering space for late-diagnosed autistic (ASD) + ADHD women to navigate unmasking, rebuild identity, set healthy boundaries and learn self-acceptance and self-advocacy, through guidance, validation and encouragement 🌱 
As a counselling psychotherapist, diagnosed at 58 with AuDHD, I share a raw, honest account of my own unmasking, autistic burnout and breakdown, and the rebuilding of a congruent identity, while planning a neurodivergent - friendly life abroad (France or Italy - I haven't decided yet!).  
Inspired by Carl Rogers and his Theory of Actualisation, this channel blends lived experience with practical advice, validation,  evidence-informed insights, actionable tools, and plenty of humour 😝🌱🌸

Contact: [email protected] for requests, feedback, questions and  stories for the show

AuDHD Women by Sarah Jones. Pg 57 - What you could say to someone, about your needs...

"I care about you and I really value our relationship. I also need time alone to reset, especially when I'm feeling overwhelmed. It doesn't mean anything is wrong. It just helps me come back more grounded and present. I appreciate your understanding".

REFERENCES:

Rudy Simone 2010 Aspergirls - Empowering Females with Asperger Syndrome

Neuro Nurture 2025 Unmasking Adult Autism - Embrace Your Autistic Identity, Overcome Executive Dysfunction and Empower Your Neurodivergent Self (Embracing Neurodiversity Series) 

Sarah Jones 2025 AuDHD Women - Navigating Life After Late Discovery: A Compassionate Guide to Living with Autism and ADHD 

☕Girl needs COFFEE! Please donate ANY amount, so that I can do this full time?! Thank you!
https://buymeacoffee.com/theactualisingwoman

🎧Check Out!!...ADHD + ASD Sounds - Our Sound Podcast for ASD, ADHD & AuDHD-ers. For Regulation, Focus, Sleep + Study. Available on Apple & Amazon Music https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/adhd-+-asd-sounds/id1791537814 

Clare Llewellyn-Bailey: Counselling Psychotherapist (MBACP) podcaster, empty-nester, and AuDHD-er!!

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AUDHD MASKING + UNMASKING | PROs +CONs | Late Diagnosed | Authentic + Congruence Identity. My experiences so far! 

In this deeply personal episode on AuDHD masking and unmasking, I explore the pros and cons of camouflaging as a late-diagnosed autistic + ADHD woman and what it truly means to rediscover your authentic, congruent identity after diagnosis. 
If you’ve received a late Autism diagnosis, ADHD diagnosis, or identify as AuDHD and feel confused, grieving, angry, or unsure who you are beneath decades of people-pleasing, perfectionism, trauma responses, burnout, anxiety, or breakdown, this conversation is for you. I share my lived experience of masking, the mental and physical toll of long-term camouflaging, why unmasking can shift relationships (and sometimes lead to loss), and how to begin reclaiming your true self with self-compassion, nervous system awareness, and emotional safety. 

🌸 This channel supports late-diagnosed neurodivergent women navigating identity shifts, self-acceptance, boundaries, CPTSD recovery, self-parenting, and authentic living post-diagnosis. 
If you are questioning who you are when you stop managing how you’re perceived, and are ready to explore unmasking safely and intentionally, you are not alone here🌷Subscribe for unmasked chat about AuDHD, mental health and self-actualisation 🌷

Contact: [email protected] for requests, feedback, questions and  stories for the show

☕Girl needs COFFEE! Please donate ANY amount, so that I can do this full time?! Thank you!
https://buymeacoffee.com/theactualisingwoman

🎧Check Out!!...ADHD + ASD Sounds - Our Sound Podcast for ASD, ADHD & AuDHD-ers. For Regulation, Focus, Sleep + Study. Available on Apple & Amazon Music https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/adhd-+-asd-sounds/id1791537814 

Clare Llewellyn-Bailey: Counselling psychotherapist, podcaster, empty-nester, and AuDHD-er!!

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PART 2. In this episode I'm outlining: 1. what actualisation means.  2. what it means to become a fully functioning person and 3. what does that mean for me in REAL terms? What changes do I need to make regarding self-development, what do I need more of, less of, to be able to live with psychological, financial and geographic FREEDOM?!  

REFERENCE: Carl R Rogers  ‘A Therapist’s View of Psychotherapy – On Becoming a Person', 1961 pg 191-192, pg 168-176

The Actualising Woman 🪴 is a raw, unfiltered diary of life after my late diagnosis of (Level 1) ASD & ADHD (AuDHD) and a mental breakdown at 58 🌸 I share my journey of living unmasked, rebuilding a congruent identity, and creating a life that truly fits ME, inspired by Carl Rogers’ Theory of Actualisation.
This channel is about growth, self-acceptance, and becoming a fully functioning, authentic, neurodivergent woman, and I hope my journey supports others walking a similar path 🌱

If YOU are navigating late-diagnosed ADHD, autism, or AuDHD 🌼, or rebuilding after a breakdown, you’ll find community, understanding and hope here 🌺Subscribe for unmasked chat about AuDHD, mental health and self-actualisation 🌷

Contact: [email protected] for requests, feedback, questions and  stories for the show

☕Girl needs COFFEE! Please donate ANY amount, so that I can do this full time?! Thank you!
https://buymeacoffee.com/theactualisingwoman

🎧Check Out!!... ADHD + ASD Sounds - Our Sound Podcast for ASD, ADHD & AuDHD-ers. For Regulation, Focus, Sleep + Study. Available on Apple & Amazon Music

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/adhd-+-asd-sounds/id1791537814 

Clare Llewellyn-Bailey: Counselling psychotherapist, podcaster, empty-nester, and AuDHD-er!!

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PART 1.  In this one, I'm talking about (well... rambling on, really) a lightbulb moment I had in May 2022, which I've never got out of my head. A long term dream. BUT, it seems that it's only now that I'm ready for it to come to fruition. Why? Because certain experiences needed to be experienced first, for me to gain clarity about why the dream happened in the first place... Hindsight eh!

This plan of action, I'm hoping, will provide me with the sensory, social and financial security I have always needed, without realising. And only now, after my dual diagnosis of AuDHD, do I understand why I was always in such a miserable pickle, living the way I have been living! 

The Actualising Woman 🪴 is a raw, unfiltered diary of life after my late diagnosis of (Level 1) ASD & ADHD (AuDHD) and a mental breakdown at 58 🌸 I share my journey of living unmasked, rebuilding a congruent identity, and creating a life that truly fits ME, inspired by Carl Rogers’ Theory of Actualisation.
This channel is about growth, self-acceptance, and becoming a fully functioning, authentic, neurodivergent woman, and I hope my journey supports others walking a similar path 🌱

If YOU are navigating late-diagnosed ADHD, autism, or AuDHD 🌼, or rebuilding after a breakdown, you’ll find community, understanding and hope here 🌺Subscribe for unmasked chat about AuDHD, mental health and self-actualisation 🌷

☕Girl needs COFFEE! Please donate ANY amount, so that I can do this full time?! Thank you!
https://buymeacoffee.com/theactualisingwoman

Contact: [email protected] for requests, feedback, questions and  stories for the show

🎧Check Out!!...ASD + ADHD Sounds - Our Sound Podcast for ASD, ADHD & AuDHD-ers. For Regulation, Focus, Sleep + Study. Available on Apple & Amazon Music 

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/adhd-+-asd-sounds/id1791537814 

Clare Llewellyn-Bailey: Counselling psychotherapist, podcaster, empty-nester, and AuDHD-er!!

Support the show

How Does Congruence Help You Unmask as an ASD ADHD -er? - A Core Condition for Actualising The Ideal 'You'. I talk about how masking goes against your congruent self.. causing distress and misalignment.

The Actualising Woman 🪴 is a raw, unfiltered diary of life after my late diagnosis of (Level 1) ASD & ADHD (AuDHD) and a mental breakdown at 58 🌸 I share my journey of living unmasked, rebuilding a congruent identity, and creating a life that truly fits ME,  inspired by Carl Rogers’ Theory of Actualisation.
This channel is about growth, self-acceptance, and becoming a fully functioning, authentic, neurodivergent woman, and I hope my journey supports others walking a similar path 🌱

If YOU are navigating late-diagnosed ADHD, autism, or AuDHD 🌼, or rebuilding after a breakdown, you’ll find community, understanding and hope here 🌺Subscribe for unmasked chat about AuDHD, mental health and self-actualisation 🌷

☕Girl needs COFFEE! Please donate ANY amount, so that I can do this full time?! Thank you!
https://buymeacoffee.com/theactualisingwoman

Contact: [email protected] for requests, feedback, questions and  stories for the show

🎧Check Out!!...ASD + ADHD Sounds - Our Sound Podcast for ASD, ADHD & AuDHD-ers. For Regulation, Focus, Sleep + Study. Available on Apple & Amazon Music

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/adhd-+-asd-sounds/id1791537814 

Clare Llewellyn-Bailey: Counselling psychotherapist, podcaster, empty-nester, and AuDHD-er!!

Support the show

How I'm Helping Myself Unmask and Process My ADHD, ASD Diagnosis - Self Parenting + The Actualising Tendency Carl Rogers. Here's the story of how Carl Rogers came to learn about The Actualising Tendency! AND why he developed his theory of The Three Conditions required by therapists (and yourself) to create the PERFECT environment in which a person/you can thrive, heal, grow, reach full potential and ACTUALISE  

This theory will underpin my journey towards actualisation. What's my PLAN?! How will I do it??

The Actualising Woman 🪴 is a raw, unfiltered diary of life after my late diagnosis of (Level 1) ASD & ADHD (AuDHD) and a mental breakdown at 58 🌸 I share my journey of living unmasked, rebuilding a congruent identity, and creating a life that truly fits ME,  inspired by Carl Rogers’ Theory of Actualisation.
This channel is about growth, self-acceptance, and becoming a fully functioning, authentic, neurodivergent woman, and I hope my journey supports others walking a similar path 🌱

If YOU are navigating late-diagnosed ADHD, autism, or AuDHD 🌼, or rebuilding after a breakdown, you’ll find community, understanding and hope here 🌺Subscribe for unmasked chat about AuDHD, mental health and self-actualisation 🌷

☕Girl needs COFFEE! Please donate ANY amount, so that I can do this full time?! Thank you!
https://buymeacoffee.com/theactualisingwoman

Contact: [email protected] for requests, feedback, questions and  stories for the show

🎧Check Out!!...ASD + ADHD Sounds - Our Sound Podcast for ASD, ADHD & AuDHD-ers. For Regulation, Focus, Sleep + Study. Available on Apple & Amazon Music

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/adhd-+-asd-sounds/id1791537814 

Clare Llewellyn-Bailey: Counselling psychotherapist, podcaster, empty-nester, and AuDHD-er!!

Support the show

This episode is fully loaded! I talk about how having experienced trauma in childhood (and adulthood) alongside undiagnosed ADHD and ASD, had led me to my recent mental health breakdown. Heavy topics which I have only just touched on in this episode, but give an outline of what (I believe) have caused this life-changing experience. I talk about what I'm learning that I need to change about myself, so that I can live more healthily, authentically, in the world as an unmasked late-diagnosed woman. I am aiming for actualisation - and the first step to that is finding out who I am, how I take care of my emotional and physical needs, and what I need to ultimately survive and thrive!

The Actualising Woman 🪴 is a raw, unfiltered diary of life after my late diagnosis of (Level 1) ASD & ADHD (AuDHD) and a mental breakdown at 58 🌸 I share my journey of living unmasked, rebuilding a congruent identity, and creating a life that truly fits ME,  inspired by Carl Rogers’ Theory of Actualisation.
This channel is about growth, self-acceptance, and becoming a fully functioning, authentic, neurodivergent woman, and I hope my journey supports others walking a similar path 🌱

If YOU are navigating late-diagnosed ADHD, autism, or AuDHD 🌼, or rebuilding after a breakdown, you’ll find community, understanding and hope here 🌺Subscribe for unmasked chat about AuDHD, mental health and self-actualisation 🌷

☕Girl needs COFFEE! Please donate ANY amount, so that I can do this full time?! Thank you!
https://buymeacoffee.com/theactualisingwoman

Contact: [email protected] for requests, feedback, questions and  stories for the show

🎧Check Out!!...ASD + ADHD Sounds - Our Sound Podcast for ASD, ADHD & AuDHD-ers. For Regulation, Focus, Sleep + Study. Available on Apple & Amazon Music

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/adhd-+-asd-sounds/id1791537814 

Clare Llewellyn-Bailey: Counselling psychotherapist, podcaster, empty-nester, and AuDHD-er!!

Support the show

Starting to Come Back to Myself - My NEW Self - Breakdown to Breakthrough as an AuDHD-er. I talk about how I move into an assessment phase, despite still feeling very vulnerable, emotional, sad and distressed. I assess Version 1 (the old Clare:  the masker, the people-pleaser, etc) into Version 2, the Clare who has NO IDEA how to be unmasked in this world and knowing I cannot go back to V1 of myself. I can't get the toothpaste back in the tube!! The horse has bolted now and there's no way I can re-mask myself.

Includes: life review, dissociation (detachment from reality and time) and executive function malfunctioning!    

The Actualising Woman 🪴 is a raw, unfiltered diary of life after my late diagnosis of (Level 1) ASD & ADHD (AuDHD) and a mental breakdown at 58 🌸 I share my journey of living unmasked, rebuilding a congruent identity, and creating a life that truly fits ME,  inspired by Carl Rogers’ Theory of Actualisation.
This channel is about growth, self-acceptance, and becoming a fully functioning, authentic, neurodivergent woman, and I hope my journey supports others walking a similar path 🌱

If YOU are navigating late-diagnosed ADHD, autism, or AuDHD 🌼, or rebuilding after a breakdown, you’ll find community, understanding and hope here 🌺Subscribe for unmasked chat about AuDHD, mental health and self-actualisation 🌷

☕Girl needs COFFEE! Please donate ANY amount, so that I can do this full time?! Thank you!
https://buymeacoffee.com/theactualisingwoman

Contact: [email protected] for requests, feedback, questions and  stories for the show

🎧Check Out!!...ASD + ADHD Sounds - Our Sound Podcast for ASD, ADHD & AuDHD-ers. For Regulation, Focus, Sleep + Study. Available on Apple & Amazon Music

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/adhd-+-asd-sounds/id1791537814 

Clare Llewellyn-Bailey: Counselling psychotherapist, podcaster, empty-nester, and AuDHD-er!!

Support the show

Falling into Breakdown. In this episode, I talk candidly about what caused my 'crash' into being mentally and physically incapacitated for 13+ weeks after months and years of extreme stress and worry. But what was the final straw? 

Includes: life review, dissociation (detachment from reality and time) and executive function malfunctioning!    

Trigger Warning - This one is a bit sad and dark, so if you're feeling wobbly, maybe give this episode a swerve!

The Actualising Woman 🪴 is a raw, unfiltered diary of life after my late diagnosis of (Level 1) ASD & ADHD (AuDHD) and a mental breakdown at 58 🌸 I share my journey of living unmasked, rebuilding a congruent identity, and creating a life that truly fits ME,  inspired by Carl Rogers’ Theory of Actualisation.
This channel is about growth, self-acceptance, and becoming a fully functioning, authentic, neurodivergent woman, and I hope my journey supports others walking a similar path 🌱

If YOU are navigating late-diagnosed ADHD, autism, or AuDHD 🌼, or rebuilding after a breakdown, you’ll find community, understanding and hope here 🌺Subscribe for unmasked chat about AuDHD, mental health and self-actualisation 🌷

☕Girl needs COFFEE! Please donate ANY amount, so that I can do this full time?! Thank you!
https://buymeacoffee.com/theactualisingwoman

Contact: [email protected] for requests, feedback, questions and  stories for the show

🎧Check Out!!...ASD + ADHD Sounds - Our Sound Podcast for ASD, ADHD & AuDHD-ers. For Regulation, Focus, Sleep + Study. Available on Apple & Amazon Music

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/adhd-+-asd-sounds/id1791537814 

Clare Llewellyn-Bailey: Counselling psychotherapist, podcaster, empty-nester, and AuDHD-er!!

Support the show

My AuDHD Diagnosis How Did THAT happen? Late Diagnosis Journey

The Actualising Woman (previously The Blooming Boss)🪴 is a raw, unfiltered diary of life after my late diagnosis of (Level 1) ASD & ADHD (AuDHD) and a mental breakdown at 58 🌸 I share my journey of living unmasked, rebuilding a congruent identity, and creating a life that truly fits ME,  inspired by Carl Rogers’ Theory of Actualisation.
This channel is about growth, self-acceptance, and becoming a fully functioning, authentic, neurodivergent woman, and I hope my journey supports others walking a similar path 🌱

If YOU are navigating late-diagnosed ADHD, autism, or AuDHD 🌼, or rebuilding after a breakdown, you’ll find community, understanding and hope here 🌺Subscribe for unmasked chat about AuDHD, mental health and self-actualisation 🌷

☕Girl needs COFFEE! Please donate ANY amount, so that I can do this full time?! Thank you!
https://buymeacoffee.com/theactualisingwoman

Contact: [email protected] for requests, feedback, questions and  stories for the show

🎧Check Out!!...ASD + ADHD Sounds - Our Sound Podcast for ASD, ADHD & AuDHD-ers. For Regulation, Focus, Sleep + Study. Available on Apple & Amazon Music

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/adhd-+-asd-sounds/id1791537814 

Clare Llewellyn-Bailey: Counselling psychotherapist, podcaster, empty-nester, and AuDHD-er!!

Support the show