The Adoptee Next Door

(Yes, the episode title is derived from Michelle Obama's famous line; "when they go low, we go high!")

Television influences public opinion of adoption. It's easy to see the influence shows like Annie and The Blind Side have had as they highlight the savior tropes and downplay or ignore the adoptees journey of grief and loss.  To my amazement, Long Lost Family seems to buck the trend! This show (which aired on TLC from 2016-2019) focuses on reuniting adoptees with their biological family. In the adoptee-world, shows like this often are termed 'reunion porn.' But this was different. Adoptee, Patrice Martin, was cast on Season 6, Episode 8 and to my amazement they resisted the urge to exploit her story. The production team treated her and her story with the humanity and care that we adoptees desire. Stunned and impressed, I just had to speak with the team that put this episode together. 

Listen to learn more about how a network television resisted the inevitable ratings gold.

This episode features:
Patrice Martin - Adoptee
Kathryn Takis - Long Lost Family producer
Lisa Joyner - Host of Long Lost Family
Jen Utley - Director of Family Research at Ancestry.com
Leslie Mackinnon - Therapist for Long Lost Family cast and crew
  

You can reach out to Angela through her website or on Instagram @angieadoptee.

Back in 2016, Angela had 12 year old transracial adoptee Alex, as a guest on her web series, The Adopted Life. In this episode, Angela reconnects with Alex, now a 17 year old transgender woman, to discuss adoption, the intersections of LGBTQ culture, and how quarantine provided a silver lining for Alex's transition period.

You can reach out to Angela through her website or on Instagram @angieadoptee.

Angela talks with Tiffany Henness about the surprising grief she experienced during her pregnancy and childbirth of her two biological kids. As a Christian she challenges the fairy-tale narrative about adoption and wonders if Christians may be use the book of Psalms to think differently about helping children through adoption. 

You can reach out to Angela through her website or on Instagram @angieadoptee.

Kristen and I talk about her identity as a white-passing Latina, adopted from Paraguay to Washington DC. The first time Kristen and I chatted she told me that she has only recently begun identifying as Latina.

You can reach out to Angela through her website or on Instagram @angieadoptee.

Over the past week it's become clear that most U.S. Americans view Amy Coney Barrett’s transracial family as noble, good and representing all things decent. However, transracial adoptees have a different take. It seemed to showcase white saviorism and virtue signaling. Torie and Angela discuss why the Supreme Court nominee's comment was so polarizing and why conversations about transracial adoption are so divided that even hearing directly from transracial adoptees, isn't enough to counter the dominant fairytale narrative. 

You can reach out to Angela through her website or on Instagram @angieadoptee.

The impacts of being told that you were adopted late in life are far reaching. One Late Discovery Adoptee (LDA) says "It feels like a cruel joke. Finding out that you are adopted late in life destroys part of your identity and turns your life upside down." Some parents think they are protecting their child by not telling them. However, finding out as an adult is undoubtedly a shock and for many LDA's they can't help but wonder what else their parents' may have lied about? 

But Jay sees it differently. He explains how he differentiates a secret versus a lie.

You can reach out to Angela through her website or on Instagram @angieadoptee.

Angela speaks with Black adoptee Maya Holmes, who was adopted by Black parents as an infant. Maya shares her perspective and challenges Angela's assumptions about racial identity formation for black same-race adoptees.

You can reach out to Angela through her website or on Instagram @angieadoptee.

Angela speaks with adoptee Nancee Winslow, about nature vs. nurture, reuniting with birth family members, and adoptees feeling the need to prove they are "well-adjusted" with their adoption. Nancee shares a powerful story about the moment she told her 4-year-old son that she was adopted, and his emotional reaction. 

You can reach out to Angela through her website or on Instagram @angieadoptee.

Tony Hynes is a transracial adoptee, and was adopted by white lesbian moms in the mid 1990s. A judge told his parents “A white, same-sex-headed household is not the right household to raise a black child in,” and at the age of 7, Tony was asked to choose between his birth family and his adoptive family. Tony and Angela discuss racism and homophobia in this podcast. 

You can reach out to Angela through her website or on Instagram @angieadoptee.

Angela speaks with transracial adoptee; Jessenia Parmer about the need for more mental health awareness among adoptees. They both address the fear and courage it takes to challenge the mainstream positive narrative of adoption, by acknowledging stories of trauma and loss.  

You can reach out to Angela through her website or on Instagram @angieadoptee.