The Agewyz Podcast

Peter Fox has a natural connection with older adults. An only child whose parents had him later in life and who were his best friends growing up, he also cared for an elderly neighbor in New York and now looks after a 92-year-old in his Palm Beach condominium. But it’s his partner Gary who he anticipates caring for in a big way in the near future. Although he’s fit and not on any medication, Gary is 73 years old. Peter is 38. In today’s show the couple talks about their age difference, how they support each other and their end-of-life wishes. Peter also talks about his own health complications, his fears about the rise of hate crimes, healthcare from the LGBT perspective and why his new specialty is dry parties. Tune in for a moving story of two men from different generations aging together with grace.

Music: “Barbara” by US Army Blues, Live at Blues Alley | Public Domain

US Marine Corps veteran Sherman Gillums, Jr., Executive Director of Paralyzed Veterans of America (PVA) at the time of this recording, discusses how to get beyond the phrase “thank you for your service” and really treat veterans well. Gillums was about to deploy to Afghanistan when he sustained a cervical spine injury that left him paralyzed. After going through two years of successful rehabilitation, he pursued a career advocating for veterans with disabilities. In today’s show he tells us why he joined the military and he discusses the work of PVA. He also talks about his own caregiver—his wife, an Afghanistan war veteran—how the Veterans Administration’s caregiver support program works and why it needs an overhaul, and the many ways we can show veterans we truly appreciate their service.

Paralyzed Veterans of America website: http://www.pva.org

Articles mentioned in the show: “It’s Time to Expand VA Support To All Military Caregivers” (5/16/17), Sherman Gillums, Jr.: http://bit.ly/2rcZHrd

“Why Veteran Treatment Matters” (5/12/17), Sherman Gillums, Jr.: http://bit.ly/2rDvBNG

Music: “Raindrops In My Mind” by Letmeknowyouanatole | CC BY SA | Free Music Archive

Loretta Veney’s greatest fear is that her mother will outlive her money. Her great grandmother lived to age 107 and her grandmother to age 98. Neither had dementia. But Loretta’s mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease at age 77. In today’s show, Loretta talks about journeying with her mother through Alzheimer’s and her book “Being My Mom’s Mom.” She describes the hilarious, poignant tale of her mother’s escape from her group home and the “earthly angels” who helped return her to safety, how she adapted to her mother’s reading aloud phase and the grocery store drama that led to a customer pleading with Loretta for help managing her anger issues with her mother. Loretta also talks about her husband’s death, coping with loss and why Lego bricks play a key role in her caregiver training. Tune in for an inspiring conversation with this fifth generation Washingtonian. Loretta’s website and book: http://bit.ly/2qtgp4E Washington Post article about Loretta and her mom: http://wapo.st/2rsvnWh RoadID Medical Bracelet: http://bit.ly/2qT02zQ Music: “Even When We Fall” by Philipp Weigl | CC BY | Free Music Archive

Writer/Director Liz Levine talks about a new web series she co-created with Jessie Award winning actress France Perras, who plays a caregiver (Madeleine) with a talking goldfish (Myrtle) who helps her cope with the strain of caring for twins and her aging parent, who has Alzheimer’s disease. We hear how Liz got involved with the web series after years of producing for film and television, what considerations went into the making of the pilot episode and why Liz and her team believe caregiver projects like this are essential. Pilot episode (voting ends May 19): http://bit.ly/2q1rt99 Facebook: http://bit.ly/2qZoc8z Twitter: http://bit.ly/2qp1N7t Follow Myrtle on Instagram: http://bit.ly/2qPqTvU Liz’s other projects mentioned in the podcast: “Across My Land” (2017 Cannes Film Festival) and “Story of a Girl” (Directed by Kyra Sedgwick): http://bit.ly/2ptqH0J Music: “Tomoshibi” by Kakurenbo | CC BY NC | Free Music Archive

Canadian author Rick Lauber is among a growing number of male caregivers who provide support alone or with the help of siblings. In today’s show, Rick talks about moving his parents from Vancouver Island closer to his home in Edmonton, co-caregiving with his two sisters and how writing helped him cope with his mum’s Parkinson’s and Leukemia, and the Alzheimer’s that took his father’s life. He shares what he learned from his caregiving journey, from finding joy amid the misery and the benefits of self-evaluation to how his last visit with his father sparked a desire to learn more about his parents’ past. His latest book: “The Successful Caregiver’s Guide” includes a downloadable toolkit. Rick’s website: http://bit.ly/2pCEIN5

When her mother was diagnosed with Huntington’s Disease, 29-year-old writer Melissa Bilchik had to decide whether she too should be tested; there was a 50/50 chance she was carrying the fatal gene. In today’s show, Melissa talks about the events leading up to her mother’s diagnosis of HD—which she says is like having Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s simultaneously—caring for her mom, her views on getting tested and approach to having kids. She also talks about how millennial caregivers differ from baby boomer carers, her experience of support groups and why she’s not a Pinterest mom. All this and more on today’s moving show. Melissa’s blog: https://grownuppains.com More about Huntington’s Disease: http://bit.ly/1GrrvED Google Hangout for young caregivers (mentioned in the show): http://bit.ly/2ppZVtU Music: “Arashi” by Kakurenbo | CC BY NC | Free Music Archive

Author and essayist Judy Mollen Walters has been battling Crohn’s disease for over 16 years with oral medications, injections, biologic therapies and a devoted caregiver husband. In today’s show: how she balances writing with managing her autoimmune disease, and the toll of it on her kids, her husband and the family wallet. Judy also shares what she learned during a role reversal—caring for her husband—and she talks about how her grandmother’s Multiple Sclerosis (MS) informs her new novel, “A Million Ordinary Days,” what she wants people to know about Crohn’s and the definition of a pantser. Link to Judy’s website: http://bit.ly/2oTVMw7 Facebook: www.facebook.com/JudyMollenWalters/ Recent essays: http://bit.ly/2pDBKbY | http://wapo.st/2o57NS9 More about Crohn’s disease: http://bit.ly/2jVfeFT Music: “Cycle” by Dlay | CC BY NC ND | Free Music Archive

Veteran documentary filmmaker Christine Herbes-Sommers talks about her new film for PBS, which explores how longer life expectancy is transforming small town Norcross, Georgia and the big city of Atlanta plus older populations in Europe, China and Japan. From institutions like Social Security — created when the average life span was 62 — to the American suburbs, where over half of the US’ older population is aging in isolation, greater longevity is putting pressure on policies and practices designed for a bygone era. In the show Christine also talks about how immigration is linked to care for older adults, concerns young people have about getting older and the concept known among urban planners as the toilet paper rule. “Coming of Age” marks the end of a 45-year run in Christine’s filmmaking career, and the next chapter of her life is no less ambitious.

90-second preview of “Coming of Age”: http://bit.ly/2o3LVTa

A year ago on the podcast Lisa Howland told of quitting her job to be a full-time caregiver for her father, who has Parkinson’s disease, and of hiding the knives in her house because of his increasingly aggressive behavior – associated with his later diagnosis of Lewy Body dementia. In today’s episode: the changes since then in Lisa and her father’s lives, from his move into and out of an assisted living facility to Lisa’s new knowledge of Florida’s “stand and pivot” law and why she stopped going to a support group, learned to embrace mindfulness and hold onto the good memories of her dad. Tune in to this follow-up story, filled with dark humor and hard-won tips from a caregiving survivor. Lisa’s 2016 Agewyz Podcast Interview: http://bit.ly/2p2UT32 Learn more about Lewy Body Dementia: http://bit.ly/2aGrqVD Coping and support for Parkinson’s Disease: http://mayocl.in/2nFCTdX Music: “The Summit” and “Hundred Mile” by Blue Dot Sessions | CC BY NC | Free Music Archive Lew

Howard Grossman is an internist at the Cleveland Clinic Florida and widely known as a specialist in HIV medicine and LGBT health. His residency at Kings County Hospital in Brooklyn during the early days of the AIDS epidemic—when the Hospital was treating 5% of all reported AIDS cases in the world—had a profound impact on the young physician. In today’s show, Howard talks about his appearance before the Supreme Court in the landmark Vacco v. Quill case involving terminally ill patients and end-of-life choice. He also talks about LGBT aging, healthcare in Florida versus New York, how he handles giving patients bad news and why it’s important for patients to play an active role in their own healthcare. Later in the show, Howard shares his experience of attending a fundraiser at Mar-a-Lago and he offers his perspective on what he calls “the gated-community” mindset of the Trump administration. More about Dr. Howard Grossman: http://cle.clinic/2oCRUOD Supreme Court case Howard took part in (Vacco v. Quill): http://bit.ly/1XNjnJf Current case seeking to establish aid in dying in NY (Myers v. Schneiderman) http://bit.ly/2od15IM Music: “In Passage” by Blue Dot Sessions | CC BY NC | Free Music Archive