The Agewyz Podcast

Irene Atkinson grew up in Texas, steeped in European culture: her parents spoke Polish in the house, and her family socialized in Houston’s large Polish-American community. But the family fabric was disrupted when Irene’s father died; several years later, her mother—a lifelong pre-school teacher—moved in with Irene because her mother was showing signs of dementia. In today’s show: how Irene, a stay-at-home mom, is adjusting to watching her kids grow and thrive while her mother goes in the opposite direction. Irene talks about how she and her husband manage privacy issues, the challenges she’s faced finding support services and the guilt-inducing experience of having her mom stay with her sister one day a week so Irene can get a break. A story of devotion, heartache and fortitude from Austin, Texas.

Music: “Wounds” (remix) by Ketsa | CC BY NC ND | Free Music Archive

News icon Walter Cronkite and the legendary photographer Gordon Parks are just two of over thirty famous and lesser known people interviewed by Elizabeth Meade Howard for her book, “Aging Famously: Follow Those You Admire To Living Long and Well.” A journalist and former lecturer at the University of Virginia (UVA), Elizabeth shares her experience of meeting her inspiring interview subjects—dignified, adventurous people who didn’t think of themselves as risk-takers but made a difference in the world. Though some of them are no longer living, Elizabeth explains why their lives still matter and what we can learn from them about living well in our older years. She tells us about the people in her own family who thrived in older age, including her beloved father, who continued to write books and teach at UVA for many years after Elizabeth’s mother died. Elizabeth also explains why she and her husband are staying put in their house of forty-seven years, how she feels internally versus what people see when they look at her and why it’s ridiculous to think older adults need to be put out to pasture.

Explore Elizabeth’s website: https://www.agingfamously.com

“Aging Famously” link: http://amzn.to/2yyQdb5

Music: “Hundred Mile” by Blue Dot Sessions | CC BY NC | Free Music Archive

Writer Brandi Neal was twenty-nine years old and living in Maine when she dropped everything and flew to Arizona to help care for her ailing father, a Vietnam War veteran who disappeared from Brandi’s life when she was twelve. In today’s show, Brandi shares her mixed feelings over caring for her father, the shock of seeing him deteriorate and how her brother—a heroin addict at the time—added to her stress. She also tells us why military benefits were crucial in helping her father and her grandparents, who transitioned to an expensive independent living residence after they could no longer live at home due to her grandmother’s Lewy Body dementia. Brandi talks about misconceptions people have about the younger generation, her concerns about how her own future care needs will be met and what she would have done differently in caring for her father. And then there is Brandi’s special needs dog, a beagle who has to sit in a high chair to eat but has no idea anything’s wrong with her.

“How To Care For Aging Relatives While Taking Care of Yourself” – by Brandi Neal; Bustle http://bit.ly/2h3P3Mf

Brandi’s website: https://brandineal.com What is megaesophagus? http://bit.ly/2yHU6gL

Music: “Mio” by Dlay | CC NY NC ND | Free Music Archive

As an elected official in Southern California, Hector De La Torre expanded access to doctors in underserved communities and he helped protect consumers from retroactive cancellation of their health insurance. Now Executive Director of the Transamerica Center For Health Studies, Hector joins us to share some startling findings from the Center’s just-released survey, “The Many Faces of Caregivers: A Close-Up Look at Caregiving and Its Impact.” He offers his perspective on why there’s such a big disconnect between public officials and caregivers who are desperate for resources to support their work, he explains how caregiving hurts the economy and what he’d like listeners and policymakers to take away from the Center’s survey of over 3,000 non-professional caregivers. Hector also shares how he juggled his work as an elected official with caring for his father, a job that fell to him as the sibling who lived closest to his dad.

Check out The Many Faces of Caregivers survey: http://bit.ly/2wZPaib

Learn more about the Transamerica Institute: http://bit.ly/2wvYT00

Music: “Cosmic Kitten” by Letmeknowyouanatole | CC BY SA | Free Music Archive

Pediatric and trauma nurse Tami Reeves talks about her memoir, “Bleeding Hearts: A True Story of Alzheimer’s, Family, And The Other Woman,” the candid story of a husband (Eric) torn between love for his ailing wife (Gaye) and the need to move on. Tami began dating Eric while his wife was still alive but rapidly declining from early onset Alzheimer’s disease. Alternately judged as the “other woman” and embraced for lifting Eric’s spirits and facing the challenges of grief, Tami regularly visited Gaye at her nursing home even as her love for Eric deepened. A Child Of Deaf Adults (CODA), Tami also talks about her early lessons in caregiving and how caring for others led her to play a significant role in caring for Eric’s wife.

Tami’s website: http://www.tamireeves.com

Link to “Bleeding Hearts” - http://amzn.to/2wS0qSt

Music: “With Night’s Cover” by Ketsa | CC BY NC ND | Free Music Archive

When we spoke with fine artist Tony Luciani in 2016, his then 93-year-old mother Elia, who has dementia, had recently moved in with him. Tony had just produced his book, “Mamma: In The Meantime,” a collection of photographs he’d taken of his mother, and while he juggled caring for her with making art, his mother began taking photographs with a point-and-shoot camera Tony bought for her, emerging as an artist in her own right. In today’s episode, Tony gives us an update on his and Elia’s life. He tells us how his work has changed since we spoke in 2016 and what his mother’s life is like now, and he offers his views on why his photographs of Elia continue to be popular (her image recently graced the cover of Proto Magazine, a Time, Inc. publication of Massachusetts General Hospital). Tony also talks about his and Elia’s dual exhibition at Ontario’s Durham Art Gallery, and what he wants people to see in his photographs of his mother.

Durham Art Gallery exhibitions - Tony: http://bit.ly/2xRPS5J; Elia: http://bit.ly/2hghAlO

Link to “Mamma: In The Meantime” - http://bit.ly/2xSjZKB

Website for Tony’s paintings: http://www.tonyluciani.ca

Tony’s Facebook page: http://bit.ly/2xoF7GO

Listen to Tony’s 2016 interview, “The Person I Am In My Head” - http://bit.ly/2aknLwG

Music: “Wandering Path” by Dlay | CC NY NC ND | Free Music Archive

“Last Things: A Graphic Memoir About ALS” is a radical departure from the previous work of award-winning author and illustrator Marissa Moss, who is best known for her popular “Amelia’s Notebooks” series. In today’s show Marissa talks about the process of writing “Last Things,” a deeply personal story of how she coped with the devastating effects of her husband Harvey’s illness. A renowned art historian and UC Berkeley professor, Harvey died less than seven months after being diagnosed with Bulbar ALS. From being stared at in public because of how Harvey looked and why swimming kept Marissa sane to the reaction of her sons (14, 10 and 6 when Harvey died) to their father’s decline and how Jewish grieving rituals helped her, Marissa lays it all on the table and shares her hopes for the book. She also reads a passage from “Last Things,” and she explains how magic paperclip bracelets helped her youngest son, Asa, get rid of his nightmares.

Marissa’s website: http://marissamoss.com/

“Last Things” page: http://marissamoss.com/last-thing.php

Music: “Growing Silence” by Ketsa | CC BY NC ND | Free Music Archive

The Agewyz Podcast is on a summer break and will be back with all new episodes starting September 14th. Meanwhile, we hope you enjoy this popular rebroadcast: We often think of caregiving as something only adults do, but in the US there are at least 1.3 million youth caregivers (ages 8 to 18), many of them forced to drop out of school to provide care to a family member. That’s what happened when a surgical error left Feylyn Lewis’ mother in need of 24/7 care. Feylyn was just eleven years old at the time and her parents were divorced, so her 18-year old brother left college to care for their mother and even took a job to pay the mortgage. In today’s show, Feylyn talks about her brother’s sacrifice on behalf of their family and what it was like to grow up with a mom who needed constant care. Currently in England completing a PhD focused on identity development in young adult caregivers between the ages of 18 and 25, Feylyn also shares some of her research results and tells us how support for youth caregivers in the UK differs from support in the US. Tune in for a spirited conversation with a researcher on a mission.

Follow Feylyn on Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/FeylynLewis

Learn about the American Association of Caregiving Youth: https://www.aacy.org

Music: “Secrets” (Instrumental) by Yeyey | CC BY NC | Free Music Archive

Billie Jordan survived a major earthquake in New Zealand, but she was so traumatized after seeing people die in front of her she fled to tiny Waiheke island, where she bonded instantly with the senior citizens: death was on their minds, just as it was on hers. She figured if everyone was going to die, why not go out dancing? In today’s episode Billie talks about forming the Hip Op-eration Dance Academy—tailored for people ages 72-96—defying ageist stereotypes, the response to her project and how she and her troupe have been reborn through dance. She also shares her grueling yet at times hilarious experience of caring for, training and managing her senior dancers on the road to performing at the World Hip Hop Championship in Las Vegas—a journey captured in the documentary film, “Hip Hop-eration.” Tune in for this extraordinary tale of going from darkness into light and living life to the fullest.

Hip Op-eration Dance Academy: http://bit.ly/2ctVZRE

Facebook page: http://bit.ly/2ccNs7t

Watch the Hip Op-eration dancers at TEDxAuckland 2015: http://bit.ly/2cpWlXb

“Hip Hop-eration” documentary film: http://bit.ly/2d0Qclt

Sounds: Kapa O Pango Haka, New Zealand v. Australia Rugby World Cup 2011; Hip Hop Reggae New Music by Soldier Boy (Opotiki, NZ)

Help Our Wounded (HOW) Founder and President Rosalinda Babin is one of a growing number of parents caring for their veteran sons and daughters. The Iraq war was less than a month old when Rosie’s son, Alan “Doc” Babin, sustained a near-fatal gunshot wound serving on the front lines as a paratrooper medic in the Army’s elite 82nd Airborne Division. In today’s show, Rosie shares the powerful story of how Doc clawed his way back to life after his catastrophic injury, how her family’s life changed and how advocating for Doc affected her own health. She also tells us about her non-profit HOW, which helps military families with emergency financial assistance. The organization grew out of Rosie’s experience with Doc during his seven-month stay at Walter Reed Army Medical Center, where she saw firsthand the many roadblocks military members faced in trying to get veterans benefits. Rosie also tells us how, fourteen years after his injury, her son Doc has defied medical expectations.

Music: “Burning Light” by Ketsa | CC BY NC ND | Free Music Archive