The Agewyz Podcast

Lisette Carbajal was sitting in her dorm room at the University of Virginia when her mother called, crying as she told her Lisette’s father had been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease. In that moment Lisette—the daughter of Peruvian immigrants who speak little English—knew her future would be very different from that of most of her fellow students. In today’s show, Lisette talks about how her career and first big job working for former VA Governor Terry McAuliffe were shaped by her caregiving responsibilities and sense of obligation to her hard-working parents. She tells us what she’s learned from juggling her education and work with caring for her father, she talks about her work as an Alzheimer’s advocate and she tells us why well-meaning articles with advice on how to prepare for your future aren’t much help for millennials. With her wedding imminent, Lisette is preparing for the reality that this special day is unlikely to include her father.

Find support: Support

USC /UsAgainstAlzheimer’s study: study

UsAgainstAlzheimer’s

Music: “Spirit Body” by Ketsa | CC BY NC ND | Free Music Archive

James Ciervo is the Regional Chapter Director (New York) of the Twilight Wish Foundation, a national organization in the business of making older adults happy. On the show today, he talks about the range of wishes granted by the Foundation, from providing a stair lift or a hearing aid to an older adult to celebrating older veterans, granting LGBT senior wishes and fulfilling an older adult’s dream to fly in a fighter jet. A lifelong healthcare worker who specializes in senior therapeutic recreation, James also tells us how his early days as a hairdresser sparked his dedication to older adults—starting with an 84-year-old client he transported from her home to the salon—and how it led to his career at a nursing home where the residents have become like family. He tells us how a trip to Thailand influenced his views on American healthcare, how his mother’s cancer led to his working briefly with the American Cancer Society and about the loss of his partner and his mother, each of whom James is honoring by granting Twilight wishes on their behalf.

Want to request or grant a wish for a senior? Click here

Twilight Wish Foundation Headquarters: 215-230-8777.

Music: “I Can See Daylight Again” by Dlay | CC BY NC ND | Free Music Archive

“Abe and Phil’s Last Poker Game” is the rare Hollywood movie that explores the subject of aging through characters that are neither pitiable nor put on a pedestal. Charming, funny and brutally honest, it stars Paul Sorvino as a womanizing gambler and the Oscar-winning Martin Landau as a retired heart surgeon who moves into a nursing home with his ailing wife. The film was Landau’s last before his death shortly after it premiered at the 2017 Tribeca Film Festival. In today’s show, we talk with writer/director Dr. Howard L. Weiner, a renowned neurologist, Harvard Medical School professor and Co-Director of the Ann Romney Center for Neurologic Diseases at Brigham & Women’s Hospital who undertook this film project at age 70. Weiner tells us why he made the film, how it came together and what it was like working with the legendary Landau. He also talks about some of his non-film projects involving Alzheimer’s and cancer research, ideas he’s developing for future films and why he believes it’s never too late for life.

Website for the film: Last Poker Game

Watch the [ trailer]()

More about Dr. Howard L. Weiner

Music: “Turning On The Lights” by Blue Dot Sessions | CC BY NC | Free Music Archive

Not one of us knows what it's like to be old until we get there. So says 76-year-old Ronni Bennett, a former radio producer who also spent over 25 years as a writer and producer in network television in New York and was managing editor of the first CBS news website. These days Ronni is busy with her acclaimed blog "Time Goes By," where she explores aging with humor, compassion and uncommon candor. In today's show, Ronni talks about the evolution of her blog and she tells us what's good about getting older. She weighs in on the eTrade Super Bowl ad featuring older adults and how media fuels America's rampant ageism, she tells us why she decided to write about her diagnosis of pancreatic cancer and why she was hit hard by the recent Op-Ed piece, "Am I Going Blind?" by New York Times writer Frank Bruni. Tune in for some real talk on aging from a straight shooter who lives with uncertainty, with grace and humor.

For a transcript of this episode and updates since it aired, click here: Transcript and Update

Ronni's website  

"Am I Going Blind?" by Frank Bruni (2/23/18)

Ronni's blog piece in response to the Bruni piece 

When it comes to aging parents, working daughters often feel they have to choose between being a good employee and being a good daughter. After her father died Illinois resident Maggie McClane chose to be a good daughter: she left her job as a paralegal and moved in with her 89-year-old mother to provide her with 24/7 care. Maggie's mom has Alzheimer's disease, is nearly blind because of macular degeneration and also has severe vertigo from a stroke. In today's episode we catch up with Maggie after speaking with her nearly a year ago. Maggie talks about the odd experience of having the house to herself now that her mom is in rehab, how she deals with second guessing from her non-caregiver siblings and why it no longer bothers Maggie that her mom isn't always plugged into reality. She also talks about her fears of financial insecurity as she ages, her strategy for getting back to paid work and how she'll deal with the pressure of vacating the house after her mother dies. She tells us what's good in her life, what she still struggles with and how her attitude has changed in the four years she's lived with and cared for her mom.

Listen to our previous interview with Maggie

Memorial Care Center (facility mentioned in the show)

Music: "Upbeat" by Jon Luc Hefferman | CC BY NC | Free Music Archive

Canadian author and illustrator Kathryn Harrison created her picture book “Weeds in Nana’s Garden” to help children who have family members with dementia understand and be aware of the disease. She created the book after her mother was diagnosed with Frontotemporal Dementia (FTD) and Kathryn’s children began asking questions about their grandmother’s odd behavior. On the show Kathryn talks about the healing properties of art, how her life changed as her mother declined and what her children learned from being involved in their grandmother’s care. She also shares how her daughter’s friends at school got involved in the process of creating “Weeds.” Note: this episode originally aired September 8, 2016. Since then Kathryn’s book has also been published in French, German and Portuguese. Proceeds from the book go to support the Alzheimer Society of Canada.

Website for “Weeds In Anna’s Garden”: Weeds

Explore Kathryn’s personal website

Learn more about FTD

Music: “Tomoshibi” by Kakurenbo | CC BY NC | Free Music Archive

The challenges of his political career were nothing compared to the steep learning curve faced by former Wisconsin Governor Martin J. Schreiber when his wife Elaine was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease and he plunged into the role of spousal caregiver.  In today’s show, Marty shares his harrowing climb up the rocky Alzheimer’s mountain and he discusses his book, “My Two Elaines: Learning, Coping, And Surviving As An Alzheimer’s Caregiver.”  From what he learned in counseling to the value of therapeutic fibbing and why ignorance of Alzheimer’s is worse than the disease itself, Schreiber offers sage advice for his fellow caregivers and a rallying cry for policymakers to address the looming crisis of dementia care. Note: this episode originally aired February 23, 2017.

“My Two Elaines” website

“Living With Alzheimer’s” by Martin Schreiber, Milwaukee-Wisconsin Journal Sentinel (12/26/16):

Alzheimer’s 24/7 Hotline – 800-272-3900

Dr. Samuel Harrington's father had a vision of how he wanted to experience the last days of his life. That vision led Dr. Harrington and his sisters to help their father make end-of-life decisions based on the exit strategy he wanted. It also inspired Harrington's new book, "At Peace: Choosing a Good Death After a Long Life," a practical and compassionate road-map for facing critical end-of-life decisions. In today's show, Dr. Harrington talks about issues raised in the book, which combines the story of his father's decline and death with a discussion of disease in the elderly. He tells us why, if you want to die at home, it's essential to understand when it's appropriate to say no to hospitalization, he explains how advertising promotes magical thinking about miracle cures and he breaks down some commonly used medical terms. Dr. Harrington shares examples of how the momentum for treatment in medicine can lead to negative outcomes in elderly patients, which could have been prevented, he talks about his own evolution as a physician and he tells us why he chose to go public with his opinions that challenge the medical establishment.

"At Peace: Choosing a Good Death After a Long Life": http://amzn.to/2BFigWf

Dr. Harrington's website: https://samharrington.com

Check out Sam and his wife Debbie's blog: http://gapyearaftersixty.com

Music: "Dryness" by Ketsa | CC BY NC ND | Free Music Archive

Theater artist, writer and educator Nell Bang-Jensen believes that instead of staging big shows on a main stage, theater producers might better serve their communities by finding out what people in the community are interested in and engaging them in the artistic process. That's the idea behind a new work in development at the Pig Iron Theater Company, where Nell is the Associate Artistic Director. In today's show she talks about "The Caregiver Project," a performance piece being shaped by caregivers in the Philadelphia area who are collaborating with Pig Iron, sharing their experiences with care and helping to create a show that opens in June. Nell also talks about her first real exposure to end-of-life issues through the hospice journeys of her Danish grandparents, what she hopes the audience will take away from "The Caregiver Project" and how creating the work has challenged her to represent caregiving in an accurate way while also devising a compelling artistic piece.

For a transcript of this episode click here: Transcript

UPDATE: In September 2019, Nell became the Artistic Director of The Theatre Horizon in Norristown, PA.  Theatre Horizon’s Autism Drama Program was featured on The Kelly Clarkson Show. Nell and Director of Community Investment Mydera Taliah Robinson were able to share the history of their Autism Drama Program and its impact on students on National Television. You can watch the segment here.

Learn more about The Caregiver Project

Mentioned in the show:

"The Commercialization of Intimate Life" by sociologist Arlie Hochschild 

Music: "Always Late" by Ketsa | CC BY NC ND | Free Music Archive

After ten years of caring for three different family members who died four months apart, Andrea McMillan woke up to the realization that she was no longer responsible for the well-being of anyone but herself and her healthy daughter. On today’s show, Andrea talks about life after caregiving, or what she describes as emerging from a coma, from expanding her wardrobe beyond the same few outfits worn day in and day out and pursuing dormant passions, to carving out a new identity for herself, exhaling and learning how to laugh again. Andrea also talks about the brother who was checked out during her caregiving decade, how her attitude toward him has changed and how she continues to evolve on her journey of rediscovery.

Note: this episode is a follow-up to our interview conducted with Andrea in May 2016. If you missed it, check it out here: http://bit.ly/1SPlyfb

Music: “Wounds” (remix) and “Falling Sky” by Ketsa | CC BY NC ND | Free Music Archive