The Agewyz Podcast

Michigan resident Shaista Kazmi has firsthand knowledge of the isolation and guilt felt by millions of family caregivers. But as a Pakistani Muslim, she's had the added challenge of finding culturally competent home health aides for her elderly family members. To help caregivers like her avoid the same fate, Shaista founded Detroit-based Apna Ghar, the first senior care agency in America dedicated to serving the needs of elderly ethnic minorities.  Shaista tells us how well-meaning senior care agencies tried but failed to meet the cultural needs of her family members, and how it affected her ability to work and raise her kids.  She shares her first generation perspective on the dilemmas faced by her mostly Indian and Pakistani clients, who speak little or no English and eat foods that are particular to their cultures and unfamiliar to most in-home aides.  Immigrants who came to America with next to nothing, these ethnic minority elders assimilated and built successful lives.  Now they are assimilating in a whole new way, attempting to age in place with dignity but hard-pressed to find culturally competent care or even admit that they need help.

Learn more: Apna Ghar Home Care
Call Apna Ghar: (248) 325-9028

Music: “Chupke Chupke” - Ustad Salamat Ali Khan  [Recording Artist: Iqbal Asif]

Single Payer, Medicare For All, Universal Healthcare - as these phrases get tossed around the presidential debate stage we get real with Suzanne Garber, whose documentary film, "Gauze: Unraveling Global Healthcare" compares and contrasts healthcare systems around the world to determine what "best healthcare" means and what it really looks like. We talk with Suzanne about her own experience with medical care, both in the US and abroad, what she discovered during the making of "Gauze" and why many Americans are choosing to go overseas for affordable, quality care. Tune in for a lively conversation with this filmmaker who traveled to 24 countries and 174 hospitals in search of the best healthcare systems around the world.

Website for the film: "Gauze: Unraveling Global Healthcare"
Gauze (company) database of international hospitals: Gauze
Two companies that list healthcare costs: Castlight Health and MediBid

Additional links referenced in the interview:

• Bankruptcies resulting from medical problems: American Journal of Public Health
• Life Expectancy
• European tax rates: Here and Here
• Hospital non-profit money makers and for-profit money losers

LA resident Cynthia Lim, author of the book, "Wherever You Are: A Memoir of Love, Marriage and Brain Injury," returns to the show a year after our first interview to talk about how her life has changed since the death of her husband, Perry. Retired from working in the LA Unified School District, Cynthia has also raised two grown sons and been a fulltime caregiver for her husband. She talks about the gradual changes she’s made, to her house and in her life, now realizing this is a point in her life where she has the freedom to actually do what she wants to do. Traveling on her own still comes with feelings of guilt, but Cynthia recently gained perspective talking with others at a recent conference of the Well Spouse Association, where she delivered a keynote speech. Cynthia Lim holds a BA in Experimental Psychology from UC Santa Barbara, a Masters in Social-Work from UC Berkeley, and a PhD in Social Welfare from UCLA. Her husband, Perry, passed away on April 30, 2018.

Listen to our previous interview with Cynthia: Episode 151
Explore Cynthia’s writing: Cynthia Lim
Read an excerpt from “Wherever You Are”: Excerpt

Mentioned in the show:
The Well Spouse Association
WriteGirl – LA non-profit empowering teen girls

Music:
“Early Rising” by Dlay | CC BY NC ND | Free Music Archive
“Beautiful Rain” (stripped down remix) by Ketsa | CC BY NC ND | Free Music Archive

What happens when a gay, middle-aged daughter who has never gotten along with her makeup-addicted, former television singer mother is suddenly thrust into the role of her caregiver? That's the subject of James Beard Award-winning food writer Elissa Altman's new book, "Motherland: A Memoir of Love, Loathing and Longing."  Jana talks with Elissa about how “Motherland” evolved and what it was like for the author to revisit her complex relationship with her mother, Rita, this time through the prism of hands-on care.  At age 56, after countless therapy sessions and the publication of three memoirs, Elissa finally has a healthy relationship with her mother.  The key to their success? Setting firm boundaries. Elissa is still actively engaged in Rita’s life, but they no longer speak fourteen times a day.  Tune in for a lively conversation.

For more details visit Elissa's website
Follow her on Twitter: @ElissaAltman | Facebook | Instagram: elissa_altman
 

Adrienne Glusman always knew she would have to care for her mother at some point. It just happened 30 years sooner than she expected. An only child of divorced parents, Adrienne was 29 years old and traveling the world in between waitressing gigs in New York City when her mother was diagnosed with Parkinson's disease. Adrienne initially managed her mother's care from a distance, flying back and forth between New York and her mother's home in Tampa, Florida during emergencies. But as her mother's Parkinson's progressed, Adrienne became more anxious. She finally decided to leave New York and move back to Florida, to be a more hands-on caregiver. Jana talks with Adrienne about how caregiving has impacted her life and her career, the grueling process of finding an assisted living facility for her mom and juggling visits to the facility with the demands of her work. Now an entrepreneur and fierce advocate for millennial caregivers, Adrienne says aging organizations need to start preparing themselves for the reality that millennials are the people they're going to be having the conversations with. Adrienne Glusman is a public speaker, EMD Serono's "Embracing Carers" Ambassador and primary caregiver to her mother, Hetty.

Connect with Adrienne on Instagram: @journeyedcaregiver | On Facebook: Young Life Interrupted

WSJ article featuring Adrienne's story: "The Call to Care for Aging Parents Comes Sooner Now" (8/6/2018)

Learn more about Parkinson’s Disease: Facts

Pioneering educator and researcher Dr. John Eric Baugher was just eighteen years old when his mother was murdered.  Filled with rage, John felt he was fated to join his mother's killer in life imprisonment.  Not behind bars, but behind psychological walls of unresolved grief and anger.  How he channeled his grief and discovered compassion and even humor in the face of death is at the heart of John's new book, "Contemplative Caregiving: Finding Healing, Compassion and Spiritual Growth Through End of Life Care."  Jana talks with John about how "Contemplative Caregiving" evolved from his early years as a hospice caregiver in New Orleans, at the peak of the AIDS crisis, to working with hospice volunteers at a maximum-security prison and interviewing dozens of hospice volunteers in the US and abroad.  Without sugarcoating the experience, John also describes meeting his mother's killer, who is still behind bars.  "Contemplative Caregiving" affirms John's belief that we can transform experiences of loss and suffering into a path of compassion, and that even amid the challenges of caregiving we can find joy in unlikely places.

Visit John's website
Order John's book: Contemplative Caregiving: Finding Healing, Compassion and Spiritual Growth Through End of Life Care

Music:
“early rising” by Dlay | CC BY NC ND | Free Music Archive
“Wounds (remix) by Ketsa | CC BY NC ND | Free Music Archive

In a span of five years, Nebraska native Valerie Bourdain lost her daughter to adrenal cancer, her mother to lung cancer and her father to Chronic Lymphomatic Leukemia (CLL). Midway through their daughter’s cancer journey, Valerie's husband left the marriage. Valerie forged ahead. But as the sole caregiver for all three family members, her weight and blood pressure soared to dangerously high levels. Finally, she was motivated to get healthy so her grown son wouldn’t have to care for her later in life. As Valerie slowly rebuilt her life, and her body with the help of a fitness and nutrition coach, she also began working on a memoir titled, "Put Up Your Umbrella: Finding Shelter in the Storm of Cancer." Tune in for an incredible story of resilience, reinvention and learnings along the way. 

Note: this episode first aired August 18, 2016 . We have an update at the end of the show.

Buy Valerie’s book: Put Up Your Umbrella
Explore Valerie’s website
Find Valerie on Facebook
What is Adrenal cancer?

Music:
“Always Late” by Ketsa | CC BY NC ND | Free Music Archive
“I can see daylight again” by Dlay | CC BY NC ND | Free Music Archive

In 1996, Mike O’Krent became a volunteer interviewer for Steven Spielberg's Survivors of the Shoah Visual History Foundation, the largest oral history project captured on video in the world. The experience of interviewing Holocaust survivors rocked Mike’s world and led him to found Life Stories Alive, which records the life stories of individuals, couples and siblings for their families before it’s too late. Mike’s own father and grandfather died before he could capture their stories, so he vowed not to make the same mistake with his mother. Mike talks about getting hooked on the process of storytelling, why it’s important for us to know our elders’ histories and about his mission of helping others unearth stories of their loved ones that in many cases they’ve never told anyone before.

Learn more about LifeStories Alive
"Being Humble Is Nothing to Brag About" by Mike O'Krent (8/27/2018)
Mike's list of 15 Powerful Lifestory Questions to Ask Your Loved One

Music:
“early rising” by Dlay | CC BY NC ND | Free Music Archive
“Arashi” by Kakurenbo | CC BY NC | Free Music Archive

Janet Elsbach was raised by people who did a lot of cooking, but she didn't go to professional cooking school.  A home cook inspired by seasonal food, the cravings of those she loves to feed and the idea of bringing people together at the table, Janet knows from personal experience that in times of illness and sorrow there's nothing like the gift of food.  Her new book, “Extra Helping: Recipes for Caring, Connecting, and Building Community One Dish at a Time” includes personal stories from the front lines of care, cooking shortcuts for cooks short on time and tips for tweaking recipes to suit all kinds of dietary restrictions.  Janet tells us how “Extra Helping” came about, how illnesses in her own family changed the way she receives the gift of food, and about the surprise gift of Kollyva she received from a Greek friend following the death of Janet’s older sister from cancer.  What Janet hopes to offer, with “Extra Helping,” is not so much a group of recipes but the idea that no matter what, you can begin.

Janet’s website and book
Connect on Facebook
Janet’s handle on instagram: @raisinporpoise
NOTE: A portion of the proceeds from the sale of each copy of Janet's book supports Feeding America and their efforts to combat hunger.

Music: “Goodbye and Thank You” by Ketsa | CC BY NC ND | Free Music Archive

What happens when a family member or friend is incapacitated and they’re counting on you to make a healthcare decision for them?  Do you take the doctor's advice for treatment?  Or do you push back, knowing the patient would never want the treatment the doctor is suggesting? In high pressure situations like this, the wisdom of someone like Viki Kind is invaluable. Viki is what's known as a clinical bioethicist.  She helps families make good medical decisions and she counsels healthcare professionals on how to do right by their patients.  On the show, we examine what went wrong in situations where the patient's wishes were not honored, and Viki offers practical advice for making decisions that are right for you.  Viki Kind is a professional speaker, a hospice volunteer and author of the award-winning book, "The Caregiver's Path to Compassionate Decision Making: Making Choices For Those Who Can't."

Explore Viki's website and free resources
Music: "True Blue Sky" by Blue Dot Sessions | CC BY NC | Free Music Archive