The Alissa Alter Show

There is an old popular legend attributed to the Cherokee or Lenape tribes called "The Story of Two Wolves." Do you know it? Basically A grandfather explains to his young grandson that within us there live two wolves. One is evil. It is anger, aggression, hate, arrogance, and lies. The other is good. It is hope, humility, empathy, generosity, truth, and compassion. These two wolves are constantly fighting inside all of us. And when the grandson asks which one wins, the grandfather replies "The one you feed." On this week's episode I go deep on the power of the stories we tell ourselves and each other. It is through our storytelling (no matter the medium) that we choose which wolf we are feeding inside of us. Which leads me to my question...What stories do you tell? Which wolf to feed? Email me and let me know your answer, and follow me on IG. Oh! And don't forget to subscribe to my newsletter so you never miss out on a new episode of Myth of Motherhood, an old legend, or whatever else pops into my head!

Ok, you know that if you're in my space, we are going to talk about buttholes at some point, right? Right. If you're new around here, I will talk about my bhole a lot. Because when your butthole has been torn in half and then repaired, it changes you. And when it comes to childbirth SO many people sugar coat thing, or "don't remember," or are afraid to speak openly because they are nervous about what they'll say.

Today's guest Joanne Adams is my people. She blew me away when she submitted her hilarious article "Incontinence to Confidence" to pstprtm. I knew we would get along well and I immediately invited her to be on the show. Joanne Adams is an internationally certified life and success coach working with new moms who want to feel like they have their sh!t together. Cheerleading for the messy-bun mamas who feel at a loss or a crossroads in life, Joanne's coaching provides a roadmap that leads them to (re)discover and completely uplevel themselves, without sacrificing time away from their babies.

An advocate for the unpolished life, she lives in Edinburgh with her partner in a house ruled by two unruly red-haired baby girls. Find out more at www.takemessyaction.com and follow her on IG @messyactionmom

Want to learn more about Alissa, what she does, and why she does it? Visit www.alissa-alter.com and follow on IG @alissaalter

When I say boundaries, you say….? For many of us an image of an invisible, electric fence pops up meant to keep some people out and keeps others in. They are rigid and stationary. But the truth is... are you ready for this? Boundaries are actually the #1 way to love and care for yourself and allow others to do the same.

Having clear boundaries and communicating them with care sets up everyone for success. Because people will keep stepping up to that electric fence and getting shocked and not know where to turn to for safety. So they keep bumping into, crossing, and activating your boundaries leaving you exhausted, abandoned, and invisible.

Today we talk about how to know if you need or want boundaries, how to create them, maintain them, and use them to love others and yourself. Because the reality is...we are often the ones violating our own boundaries and abandoning ourselves. Let's stop abandoning ourselves and start loving the heck out of ourselves instead. To learn more about Alissa, what she does, why she does it, and to check out the show notes visit www.alissa-alter.com.

Have you ever been in the midst of a long to-do list or a big project, struggling to go on, knowing you have so much to accomplish, but what you really need in that exact moment is a nap?

What if you honored that knowing and took the damn nap? I know. Revolutionary.

Today's guest Chef Carlas Contrereas has become fierce with her boundaries and honoring her highest priorities since becoming a mother. Sometimes those priorities are snuggles or food prep. And other times it's a nap and a Pilates session.

She is a trained chef, food stylist, photographer, and health coach. She's also a content creator for food and wellness brands, the founder of the online cooking school Cook+Chop, and host of the podcast Show Up Fully. She competed on Chopped! on the Food Network, and her work has been featured in publications like justBOBBI.com and Well+Good. Learn more about Carla at www.carlacontreras.com and follow her on instagram @chefcarla_c

Learn more about Carla and Alissa in the shownotes here.

Have you ever been in the midst of a long to-do list or a big project, struggling to go on, knowing you have so much to accomplish, but what you really need in that exact moment is a nap?

What if you honored that knowing and took the damn nap? I know. Revolutionary.

Today's guest Chef Carlas Contrereas has become fierce with her boundaries and honoring her highest priorities since becoming a mother. Sometimes those priorities are snuggles or food prep. And other times it's a nap and a Pilates session.

She is a trained chef, food stylist, photographer, and health coach. She's also a content creator for food and wellness brands, the founder of the online cooking school Cook+Chop, and host of the podcast Show Up Fully. She competed on Chopped! on the Food Network, and her work has been featured in publications like justBOBBI.com and Well+Good. Learn more about Carla at www.carlacontreras.com and follow her on instagram @chefcarla_c

Learn more about Carla and Alissa in the shownotes here.

In our fast paced, modern world it's constantly a race to keep up. It feels like there's never enough of whatever it is we need, and we simply need to keep doing more. I definitely get caught in that rat race. Often. Which is why I'm exploring The Art of Doing Less. This is not an argument to do nothing. It's an invitation to do less. Create space in your life, rest.

In this week's episode I talk about how a trip to Miraval Berkshires shifted my perspective on my fast paced life and nurtured my connection to the feminine collective. We are only as strong as our weakest member. It's time to come together, do less, and live more.

To learn more about Alissa, what she does, and why she does it, visit www.alissa-alter.com and follow her on IG @alissaalter

Today's guest Kelly Donahue is a mega badass. She is a surf instructor, life coach, and literally a certified Badass Mom. After having her first daughter, life in the suburbs felt off, so she went on a mission to create joy again. And Voila! Her company Badass Moms was born. Badass Moms is a revolution for type-A overachiever moms ready to prioritize fun again.

I actually had the joy and honor of going surfing with Kelly this past summer and I can testify, it's badass. And that means a lot coming from me because I don't swim in the ocean. I'm a scaredy cat and I not only went in, I surfed! I stood up and rode the waves and did something I never thought I could do. And it felt incredible.

A type-A overachiever herself, Kelly holds a BA from Harvard University where she played varsity lacrosse. So yea, as she says herself: "she's really good at doing good."

You can learn more about Kelly at www.badassmoms.com and check out the show notes for more info to follow her on IG @kelbel_badassmoms and set up your next surf lesson or trail run!

To learn more about Alissa, what she does, and why she does it, visit www.alissa-alter.com and join the newsletter so you never miss an episode or event!

This week we dive deep into the meaning of the word myth. How it relates to motherhood, religion, and mythology. And how all of it is kind of really culty.

A myth, by definition, is an explanation for something inexplicable or an agreed upon truth to explain something that didn't really happen. It's a lie. And I feel like we were handed a big sack of lies on what motherhood would look like. And while it may have been a lie by omission, it's still a lie. And I'm all about the truth! So we are busting myths and taking names.

If you're a fan of the truth and cracking open taboo topics, join my newsletter at www.alissa-alter.com. While you're there you can download my free guide on the 20 Things No One Tells You About Pregnancy & Postpartum, learn more about what I do, and why I do it.

Oooh are you in for a treat! Postpartum doula, childcare provider, improviser, runner, future queer parent, and diet culture dropout Kiki Mikkelsen joins us to talk about caring for others, operating with integrity, tuning out all of the voices around you, listening to your gut, navigating family planning as a queer couple, and throwing out the script and deciding what's best for you. What feels right in your body. Kiki lives in Brooklyn with her wife and their 2 cats, Finnigan and Dad. Learn more at www.kikithedoula.com.

Check out the shownotes for more info on Kiki, to download my free guide to the 20 Things No One Tells You About Pregnancy & Postpartum, and leanr more about what I do and why I do it, visit www.alissa-alter.com/podcast

This episode is all about the three things that ACTUALLY prepared me for motherhood. And they're not parenting books. They're not baby books. They're not books at all. They're not birthing or breastfeeding or CPR classes. These three things do not include the "motherly intuition" that is apparently spontaneously downloaded into our brains as our babies exit our bodies. There was no spontaneous download of some sort of comprehensive, exhaustive manual that made me know how to feel that he's warm, or tell that he's hungry not tired, or understand that hekipokter means helicopter.

No, today I'm sharing with you the three things that ACTUALLY prepared me for the reality of motherhood, not the myth we are sold. Make sure to check out the shownotes here and check out how these lessons show up in my life now over on IG @alissaalter