The Amanda Ferguson Show

In this life, we are all just trying to become. We strive to become better as individuals, as a spouse, friend, leader and so much more. Sometimes we get so caught up in trying to become, that we skip over key moments that require us to dig deep into who we use to be and find healing from our past. One of those key moments that go skipped all too easily is our moments of deep pain.

This week, I wanted to bring someone on the show who is very special to me and I believe is the perfect example of a woman who found the strength to heal without shame. Pat Smith, besides being wife to legendary football player Emmitt Smith, is also the author of "Second Chances" where she talks about finding healing from times of pain and living a new life!

The strength to heal can be found in a friend. As someone who can relate to the specific pain of losing a mother, I found that in Pat.

Pat's mother passed away from cancer at the young age of 22 and recalls how almost every problem in her life back then could be traced to the pain of losing her mother. It affected her mindset, perspective, and daily life decisions. If you have listened to season 1 of my show, you will remember the episode of how mother wounds cut me deeply in my past too.

The truth is, there is power in your pain. Your pain serves a purpose in your life. Whether it may be to grow you, teach you or strengthen you, I want you to know that your pain is not a punishment of suffering. It is much more than that.

Another hard truth most of us do not like to face is that sometimes we need external help to leave the place of pain and breakthrough into healing and freedom. Pat gets vulnerable in talking about how it took both prayer and seeing a therapist regularly for her to get to such a place.

While the church preaches of praying problems away, there should not be any shame in finding spiritual counsel and medical help alongside prayer. Why are Pat and I firm believers of this? Because we have done it ourselves and are proven witnesses to this fact! Pain has layers and there came a time where we needed all the tools that were provided to us.

I want you to know that there is no shame in seeking help from others. Christian couples, there is no shame in meeting with a spiritual counselor to help solve the problems in your marriage. In fact, this would make you wise for seeking counsel, rather than knowing you have no idea what to do and allow marital problems to continue!

An even greater act of wisdom that Pat shares is "Do it as early as possible. Don't wait." Why seek help at the moment of chaos and crisis, if you can do damage control before the storm hits? This preparation is only to the benefit of the loved ones around you. The benefits of therapy will help you in every relationship in your life. It can help you be a better wife, mom, daughter, and friend.

This goes beyond just you.

I want you to know the advice Pat has to give from her story of pain so you can get your life back!

How to Deal with Pain

[12:58] You don't have to have it all together to help someone else. You can find healing while still helping others.

[14:44] See someone. It could be a pastor, a spiritual counselor, a therapist, or any other source you are comfortable with. It is nothing to be ashamed of!

[15:51] It takes both medical and spiritual help. Be willing and open to both professional and spiritual help.

[19:03] Service your marriage as if it were a car. Do it as early as possible. Don't wait until it is a total loss.

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I would love to stay connected with you! If my podcast is blessing to your life, I would appreciate if you left me a review over on iTunes. Select the Ratings & Reviews and write a review. I will be reading your reviews and do not forget to comment on what was your favorite part of the podcast. For more The Amanda Ferguson Show, you can also follow me on Instagram and Facebook @mrsamandaferguson.

Also, to be the first to receive email alerts, subscribe to amandasclub.com. Thank you so much!

References

How to Heal from Mother Wounds

How you dress expresses how you feel. In this week’s episode I want to challenge you to not dress how you feel, but instead, dress how you want to be perceived. It makes all the difference.

I remember when I use to be depressed. The way I walked, looking down to the floor and slouched certainly exuded what I felt on the inside. Can I tell you that one key to get out of that depression and receive what I have been praying for is in changing the way I dressed?

This show is not about materialistic ideals. How you see yourself as a person is how you will be perceived by others. So, it starts with changing the way you see and speak to yourself.

Want to be a business owner? Dress like it. Want to be a great stay at home mom? Well, elegantly present yourself while at home! Maybe you have been wanting to get a promotion at your job, but it just hasn’t happened yet. You know you are more than qualified, yet you continue to get overlooked. I am going to ask you a question that I ask all my students who have this same problem.

Does your image project promotion? Do you arrive to work with hair, makeup, and a well-thought outlook? Most people wait for the promotion, to dress the part and that is the opposite of what you should be doing! You need to have the image first, or else no one will be able to envision the success you desire for yourself. This means you need to prepare for it.

Of course, clothes do not make the whole look work on its own. We need to take the time to correct the small details as well. Walk with confidence, not slouched shoulders. Looking tall with your head held high, instead of looking down on the floor. These small corrections thought seemingly unimportant can be tied to why some blessings have yet to be released over you!

As always, I am going to help you become the best version of yourself because I have been there and I know what it is like to not have guidance in looking the part for success. But remember, clothes alone do not make you. Your identity in knowing that you are a son or daughter of the Most High God is what will always make you stand out, no matter what.

Dressing How You Want to Be Perceived

[6:04] Declare who you are and who you want to be. There is power in the words you speak, especially what you say to yourself. Stop being your worst critic and speak what God says over you instead.

[10:09] Get up early. Take your time to put in that extra effort. Even if you are the first to wake up in the house, to pray, get ready and feel prepared for the day!

[16:47] Your closet should have a black dress or suit. Also, a black pair of heels. To top it off you need to create your signature style. This goes along with your personality! Pinterest will show you how to elevate the ideas you may already have.

[19:20] Check your complete look from head to toe. Make sure everything matches, is seamless and exudes elegance.

[23:42] Your perception of yourself is how others will perceive you. Walk with your head held high. Get a full-body mirrored and check your posture, how you walk and how you feel when you look in the mirror. This is being mindful! Love yourself.

Subscribe & Review in iTunes

Have you subscribed to The Amanda Ferguson podcast? If you have not, I would encourage you to do that today. I would not like for you to miss any of the episodes coming up this season. I will be adding bonus episodes and if you are not subscribed there might be a possibility that you’ll miss out on them. Click here to subscribe in iTunes to have the podcast downloaded to your device every week.

I would love to stay connected with you! If my podcast is blessing to your life, I would appreciate if you left me a review over on iTunes. Select the Ratings & Reviews and write a review. I will be reading your reviews and do not forget to comment on what was your favorite part of the podcast. For more The Amanda Ferguson Show, you can also follow me on Instagram and Facebook @mrsamandaferguson.

Also, to be the first to receive email alerts, subscribe to amandasclub.com. Thank you so much!

Today I am touching on a topic most people shy away from. If you have been following me since season 1, you know that I lost both my mother and father.

Both losses affected me in very different ways. This episode, I want to touch on the topic of losing someone again since I know many people continue to be wounded over such a tragedy.

Prophet Jo Naughton lives in London, England. She currently has her church and travels to speak at her events “Healed for Life” where she tells people the story of how she found healing after her 2-year-old daughter passed away and helps others find healing through the love of God.

After experiencing such an excruciating loss, Jo started to question God. She started to ask God why this happened to her. You may have similar questions too. I know for me, after my mother

passed away, I asked God why he didn’t tell me beforehand that such a thing would happen.

I asked Him why he allowed me to see other people’s futures yet was not able to see her passing coming. I asked so many questions and while I was saved and knew that God was good, I had pain.

I was saved but wounded. You can be both. For some of you, you can identify with such a feeling. But healing is not found in the answer to why.

The reality is God wants to supernaturally heal your heart. He can heal all your wounds and internal pain. You can be free from all pain and deal with your grief until it becomes a thing of your past. Jo and I go over the key steps that God took us through to ensure that we would have real freedom after losing those dearest to our hearts.

I pray that each step helps you to find peace, wholeness, and joy again. Not only will this give you victory but it will allow you to have a testimony that will impact everyone you come into contact with. Your victory will be a signal to anyone hurting from the loss of a loved one that they too, can have victory too.

Steps to Healing After Losing A Loved One

[18:15] Sometimes we ask God why. Why are tragic things happening to you? Questions like these bind you in confusion and despair. Who, what, where, when and why. These questions all mean ‘chaos’ in Hebrew. All the while you search for answers you remain in chaos. Let your questions go.

[20:02] Give up your right to an answer. Lay down your questioning so peace can enter in.

[22:00] Instead of saying God why me, tell him to use you. Pain conquered gives you the victory and authority over that pain so you can heal others. It goes beyond just you!

[23:20] Cry before the Lord. Allow yourself to hurt, cry, weep and shout. All that is inside of you must come out. This is different than a normal cry. This is crying that heals you.

[27:01] Allow God to heal you. The word says, “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” This happens when we surrender. You have to let God heal you and disconnect from the pain which sometimes becomes a justification for so many things. Give your pain over to Him.

[33:16] Allow God to fill every void. ‘Shalom’ in Hebrew means “Nothing missing, nothing broken”. That is the peace of God. After losing someone, you miss them. This means you are reserving a place for that person instead of allowing God to be your all and all.

Link mentioned:

Subscribe & Review in iTunes

Have you subscribed to The Amanda Ferguson podcast? If you have not, I would encourage you to do that today. I would not like for you to miss any of the episodes coming up this season. I will be adding bonus episodes and if you are not subscribed there might be a possibility that you’ll miss out on them. Click here to subscribe in iTunes to have the podcast downloaded to your device every week.

I would love to stay connected with you! If my podcast is blessing your life, I would appreciate if you left me a review over on iTunes. Select the Ratings & Reviews and write a review. I will be reading your reviews and do not forget to comment on what was your favorite part of the podcast.

For more The Amanda Ferguson Show, you can also follow me on Instagram and Facebook @mrsamandaferguson. Thank you so much!

If you don’t want to be in a cage you don’t have to be.

I realized this for myself not too long ago through a dream I kept on having repeatedly.

In this dream, I saw a woman in a cage. She was bound, she could not stand up straight and she looked weak. A man would open the door to the cage and tell me to get in. Usually, at this point, I would begin to hyperventilate and sweat until I eventually woke up.

This dream continuously haunted me until one night, I went to sleep and found myself in the dream again, except this time, when the man told me to get in the cage, I said within myself “This is only a dream, at any given moment I can decide to wake up and I am not going inside that cage.”

Dreams are like thoughts and imaginations sometimes in the sense that they are just illusions. Of course, this dream was not happening in my real life. However, it represented how I felt, which was stuck.

Take note, how I felt is separate from what is true. I may have felt stuck but that doesn’t mean that I was stuck.

Similarly, you may feel as though there is no way out of the life you were born into.

That is a lie!

Your dream life is more reachable than you know, it all depends on how you think. Your mindset is the difference between how you see yourself now, to what you can become.

If we shift how we think and change our perspective, then the reality of our life can change dramatically.

Some of you have been experiencing deep fear, stress, anxiety and other feelings that only keep you bound. It is the only feeling you have known for a very long time. If you are tired of this, the decision to be happy, have joy and experience freedom again is completely up to you.

The decision is yours! I remember looking at wealthy people on the street. They had cars that cost thousands of dollars and high-end clothes. I always wondered what made them so special that they were allowed to have such riches. Do you know what I found out?

Every successful person has a mindset of possibility and opportunities. They have no cap or boundary about where they can go in life! Most importantly, none of them have the mindset of a victim.

They do not feel defeated. They do not feel attacked. Rather, they continue to set higher goals for themselves. They knew they can go even farther in life.

No matter what your life looks like, you can choose a life of abundance, peace, and prosperity.

I hope that through this episode you will get your thoughts and mindset to say that you can do anything that you set your mind to.

Remember: The sky is not the limit. There are no limits over you.

How to decide to leave your old mindset!

[19:48] Envision your dream life. Go ahead and get as wild and detailed as your heart may take you. Know without a single doubt, that this life is possible for you!

[18:54] Conquer the thoughts that say you were born into lack. It all starts in your mind. You have to believe it within yourself and call out all the lies inside of your mind about your life.

[21:35] Make a choice, change your mind and work towards your dreams. Become the answer/solution to the very thing that has tried to take you down.

Subscribe & Review in iTunes

Have you subscribed to The Amanda Ferguson podcast? If you have not, I would encourage you to do that today. I would not like for you to miss any of the episodes coming up this season. I will be adding bonus episodes and if you are not subscribed there might be a possibility that you’ll miss out on them. Click here to subscribe in iTunes to have the podcast downloaded to your device every week.

I would love to stay connected with you! If my podcast is blessing your life, I would appreciate if you left me a review over on iTunes. Select the Ratings & Reviews and write a review. I will be reading your reviews and do not forget to comment on what was your favorite part of the podcast.

For more The Amanda Ferguson Show, you can also follow me on Instagram and Facebook @mrsamandaferguson. Thank you so much!

As a Christian, have you ever felt ashamed for wanting to see a therapist?

 [16:06] There is a level of intimacy and vulnerability in the marriage. 

[17:15] Perfect love without judgment will emerge. Keep in mind that you can’t judge each other for the way of processing pain.

 [22:04] Things become healed when you allow it to come to the surface. You must have the courage to confront and the courage to push through. 

Subscribe & Review in iTunes

Have you subscribed to The Amanda Ferguson podcast? If you have not, I would encourage you to do that today. I would not like for you to miss any of the episodes coming up this season. I will be adding bonus episodes and if you are not subscribed there might be a possibility that you’ll miss out on them. Click here to subscribe in iTunes to have the podcast downloaded to your device every week.

I would love to stay connected with you! If my podcast is blessing your life, I would appreciate if you left me a review over on iTunes. Select the Ratings & Reviews and write a review. I will be reading your reviews and do not forget to comment on what was your favorite part of the podcast.

For more The Amanda Ferguson Show, you can also follow me on Instagram and Facebook @mrsamandaferguson. Thank you so much!

"What's Your Why" is meant to be a thought provoking episode and a peek into the beginnings of my business. Be sure to sign up for my email club at AmandasClub.com to be the first to be invited to 2 speical events this year.

Starting something new in your life will always make you feel unsure and uncomfortable. And yet somehow, you know that you are being called to a new thing!

You know it deep inside of you, in the midst of fear and hesitation, it is an undeniable assurance that it is time to leave the old and move into the new.

Be the one who puts action to that feeling and runs with it! Maybe you feel to go after that master’s degree that no one else in your family has. Maybe you are the only one in your group of friends who feels to start their own business. Maybe you have already told your loved ones of your dreams and you are not getting the support and validation you seek.

Most pioneers don’t. Not everyone sees what you see for your future or feels what you do in your heart.
This is not the time to follow the instruction of those who do not believe in you. It is a road not traveled by many, so pioneering can be lonely. It will have you wondering what the journey may look like.

Where do you get trustworthy guidance from? What do I do when things aren’t turning out as planned?
I will share with you my journey to pioneering a six-figure business and the experiences I had along the way.
Be sure to take down these 4 tips on how to pioneer a new shift in your life. I know it will help you!

The Road to Having the Grace to Pioneer:

[2:16] Realize that you will be frustrated. Nothing great happens without their first being a frustration. This is where major push and motivation for change comes from.

[8:20] You will be stretched out of your comfort zone! No one else around you is doing what you do. Being the first in anything means you will abandon all comfort. This is not as negative as it may sound.

[15:09] You will experience warfare. The enemy is intimidated by those who have the boldness to rise up and make a difference in their personal lives, family, community, and world! He will send discouragement, weariness, fear, doubt and more to keep you from breaking through. Now that you know, you can fight back when these kinds of feelings come.

[21:22] You will leave an impact and a legacy. Pioneers leave clues to their success. One day you will be leaving clues for someone else!

Subscribe & Review in iTunes

Have you subscribed to The Amanda Ferguson podcast? If you have not, I would encourage you to do that today. I would not like for you to miss any of the episodes coming up this season. I will be adding bonus episodes and if you are not subscribed there might be a possibility that you’ll miss out on them. Click here to subscribe in iTunes to have the podcast downloaded to your device every week.

I would love to stay connected with you! If my podcast is blessing your life, I would appreciate if you left me a review over on iTunes. Select the Ratings & Reviews and write a review. I will be reading your reviews and do not forget to comment on what was your favorite part of the podcast.

For more The Amanda Ferguson Show, you can also follow me on Instagram and Facebook @mrsamandaferguson. Thank you so much!

References Mentioned:

Feminine Woman Academy

If you want to have an uncommon marriage, you need to be an uncommon wife.

While most people think marriage solves problems, more often than not it will require you to confront your heart, character, and behavior. Whether you are a young couple or have been married for some time, dealing with your spouse will always pose a challenge.

I know for me, the beginning of my marriage forced me to take a look in the mirror and do a self-evaluation. Trust me, it was not pretty. Without knowing it, many times we come to marriage with baggage that has not been dealt with.

For those who are not yet at this stage, singlehood is the perfect opportunity to prepare to be the best wife you can be for your husband and get ahead in maturity, understanding and personal liberty.

I can only imagine how much pain I could have been saved from if I had just taken the time to focus on the state of my soul before entering marriage.

This painful process showed me what I was doing wrong and what I needed to do to make a complete turnaround and have the marriage God destined for me to enjoy.

Marriage is one of the most important ministries to God for a reason. There is a power and a purpose for your marriage, you just need to discover it! You can have a blissful, loving and God-centered marriage.

The key is your mindset. I am going to let you in on the intimate struggles of my marriage. You and your spouse are made for greatness, do you believe it?

3 Keys to Being an Uncommon Wife:

[13:38] Heal internally. Most of the time, the issues that trigger us most in marriage are directly related to issues in our past that were never fully dealt with.

[18:09] Get an uncommon revelation of who you are and who your husband is. The word says your value is compared to rubies. That means you are priceless and special. You need to change how you see yourself first and realize who your husband is, beyond what you may see now.

[24:45] Realize that you need uncommon humility. This is necessary to take down your defensive walls and pride. Walls are meant to separate. This cannot be present in restoring and getting ready for an uncommon marriage.

Subscribe & Review in iTunes

Have you subscribed to The Amanda Ferguson podcast? If you have not, I would encourage you to do that today. I would not like for you to miss any of the episodes coming up this season. I will be adding bonus episodes and if you are not subscribed there might be a possibility that you’ll miss out on them. Click here to subscribe in iTunes to have the podcast downloaded to your device every week.

I would love to stay connected with you! If my podcast is blessing your life, I would appreciate if you left me a review over on iTunes. Select the Ratings & Reviews and write a review. I will be reading your reviews and do not forget to comment on what was your favorite part of the podcast.

For more The Amanda Ferguson Show, you can also follow me on Instagram and Facebook @mrsamandaferguson. Thank you so much!