Rejected by God was how I felt for a minute after my Christian husband filed twice for divorce in our first eight months of marriage: https://onlinediscipleshipforwomen.com/narcissistic-relationship-abuse/#My_Story_of_Narcissistic_Abuse_Relationship
On the agenda for today are 3 questions:
- Can God actually reject us as His children?
- What can we do to earn God’s acceptance?
- and Does rejection by Church equate to rejection by God?
We will discuss in great detail with some practical real-life examples 3 most common circumstances in which we are the most tempted to feel rejected by God:
- When we are suffering and going through adversity in life
- When we make mistakes & feel like we’re not good enough
- and When people at church let us down or betray our trust
As always, on this podcast, you are in for a real treat: I will share lots of actual, practical real-life examples, no fluff, no talking in some concepts or theories... You will walk away with solid practical understanding of the topic AND will be able to use what you hear on this podcast today to process your own daily life.
This episode is part 3 of the REJECTION series.
Rejection can be defined as an act of pushing someone or something away. Today, we will discuss whether or not God pushes us away, ever.
Before we dive into it, I want to take a moment and thank all of my listeners who downloaded The Anna Szabo Show 11,000 TIMES across the Internet on iTunes, Stitcher, InsightTimer, Google Play, Spreaker, SoundCloud, and YouTube since I started this podcast 2 months ago.
Now, this show is coming to iHeart Radio and Spotify mobile app.
1 Peter 3:14-16 tells us to ZEALOUSLY SHARE THE REASON FOR OUR HOPE. That’s why I started this very podcast. I share my hope with you.
My hope is in the Lord, our good God. And I candidly invited you through this podcast to walk my journey of pain with me to show you that I don’t have rainbows and unicorns in my life, my dreams have not come true, I have been deceived by The Narcissist and put through such mental haze that I felt suicidal and did not want to live. At all.
Here, on this podcast, I share with you how I stand on God’s promises while I’m in the midst of so much adversity and heartache.
I think it’s easy to talk about God’s goodness when our lives are peaceful and wonderful.
But when people go through tough trials, they often feel rejected by God and turn away from Him. I was angry at God, too. I understand.
It’s such a privilege to have this platform to share with you how I hold on to God’s promises in my painful and devastating life season today.
I want to give all the glory and honor to God and I want you to possibly see your own adversity and pain through the lens of God’s promises.
I’ve been truly overwhelmed with gratitude for everyone listening and for all the genuine, heartfelt feedback you shared with me in reviews.
A few weeks ago, before Michel and I had our divorce jury trial, he tried to pay me a little over $1000 to sign a document demanding that I never talk about what he did to me, what happened in our marriage, and all the mental cruelty I endured from him. I refused his offer because freedom of speech is my Constitutional right and even more importantly - my Biblical obligation, according to 2 Corinthians 1:3–5.
“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort others with the comfort, which we ourselves are receiving from God. For as we share abundantly in Christ’s sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort, too.”
Seeing you listen to my Christian meditations and watching my Christian videos, witnessing how you come back over and over to the content I produce for you, I am so glad I refused Michel’s attempt to shut my voice. Some of you, guys, spend hours at a time as I see you listening to my show called tell me how you really feel.
You know, this time last year, I remember coming home to Michel after a long day at work, it was Monday, very rainy, I attended Women In Technology meeting that evening, so it was after 9 pm and I just walked in. He came down, set me in the kitchen, and started asking me to never mention that he filed for a divorce. In December last year was when he dismissed that first divorce filing and asked me to reconcile.
I remember sitting there, looking at him, so puzzled… He was full of shame and I told him that Jesus died to set him free of his shame and insecurities and that we needed to give glory to God for saving our marriage. I told Michel that everyone who knows our last name could for $1 obtain his divorce filings in Forsyth county with no questions asked. His divorce filings are public records and instead of sinking in his shame, I asked Michel to focus on what God was doing in our lives.
He exploded with anger, called me names, raged at me while I sat there paralyzed by fear. And then, he went to sleep. I couldn’t even get up and move but I texted my girlfriend and she came to pick me up.
I had to flee that house while he was asleep, because I was so afraid of his rage - all caused by his shame for filing divorce after divorce with Forsyth court. I stayed with my girlfriend for 2 weeks, so scared of him.
Matthew 7:17-27 says we must seek to do God’s will, and I chose to follow God’s calling to comfort you, guys, in your own life trials - by sharing about my own trials and how I find comfort in God’s truth.
Reading your letters to me and your stories, I’m so glad that I rejected Michel’s money and chose to speak up about God’s works in my life.
Michel actually filed another Motion with the Forsyth County court and he is dragging me back to have a hearing next Tuesday. This time he demands that I pay $50K to his attorney to cover his cost of litigation, after he filed for a divorce twice since we had our wedding last May.
And in today’s episode I will talk about this situation as it relates to the topic of being rejected by God. It all has to do with shame and grace.
But first, I wanted to update you on the geographical reach of this podcast. We now made it to Russia, Japan, and Thailand, in addition to having loyal listeners in the United States, Ireland, South Africa, Iceland, the Republic of Mauritius, Brazil, Mexico, New Caledonia, Scotland, Greece, Canada, Ukraine, New Zealand, Australia, India, Spain, Italy, Netherlands, United Kingdom, Kazakhstan, Belgium, and Slovakia.
You, guys, have no idea how much it means to me that we can be the students of Jesus, His disciples, and have the conversations about the Gospel here, on this podcast, as I’m recording it in my closet. Right now!
Jeremiah 15:16 asks us to DELIGHT IN GOD’S WORD.
That’s what we are doing here! Thanks for helping this podcast grow and for sharing it with others. It’s spreading fast around the globe.
Glory to God!
Now, I have a question for you: have you ever felt rejected by God?
Have you ever felt not good enough? Like nothing you do can be worthy of God’s love? Like no matter how hard you try, you can’t meet His expectations? Or maybe, like me, your life crushed and burned right before your eyes.
Maybe your life is so painful that you don’t even have the ability to comprehend what happened to you. That’s my case. You know that Michel targeted me for 11 months while I was on my no-dating journey.
Once he got a chance to meet me, he started very eloquently courting me for marriage, presenting himself as a very solid Christian who attended a seminary and worked at a megachurch here in Alpharetta.
He persuaded me to remodel his house for us to live in. Which I did.
We got married on 5/14/2016, and he abandoned the marriage right away. He demanded that I allow him to sell our marital residence where we lived after the wedding at Adair Park in Cumming for a $99K profit.
But I wanted Michel to be present in the marriage he lured into and I was so confused with all the mental cruelty and manipulation from him.
On 9/25/2016 Michel served me with his 1st divorce summons when I was attending a Christian conference Harvest in Duluth. Then, he dismissed that divorce and 5 weeks later he filed for a divorce again.
In August of this year we had our divorce jury trial. The sell of the house he was so eager to execute was scheduled for 11/15/2017 for $245K vs $146K that the house was worth last year in February before I redesigned it and gave it a complete makeover.
So, if your life feels surreal to YOU, I understand your pain and devastation.
You already know that I was depressed and suicidal, enduring Narcissistic Abuse in my bizarre marriage with Michel.
I lost my job in the meantime, and my church stepped up to pay my rent, utilities, car loan, insurance, phone bill, wifi, gas, and food.
I’m talking to you about God’s promises not from a vacation in Bali.
I’m going through it. Right now, I am in a pit. I’m in pain. I’m suffering.
I’m not on the other side of this haze.
Michel is now demanding $50K from me for his attorney fees.
Is it easy to say God is good? No. I can’t lie to you. It’s not easy.
.. but! I’m standing on God’s promises. I trust His word.
What about you?
