The AuDHD Psych Podcast

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🎙️ Episode 14: AuDHD in the Real World – School, Work, Relationships and Burnout

Episode Summary

In this episode of The AuDHD Psych Podcast, clinical psychologist Aaron Howearth moves from talking about AuDHD traits in theory to how they actually show up across school, work, relationships, and daily life. He explores what school can look like for autistic, ADHD, and AuDHD kids behind the report cards: bright, capable students who miss key details because their attention is pulled to everything happening around them, collecting “failure” experiences and perfectionistic self‑criticism even when they’re genuinely trying. Aaron shares a primary‑school story about getting absorbed in playground handball, missing a chance to use the bathroom, then rigidly following a teacher’s “you should have gone at recess” rule and wetting himself in class, illustrating how interest‑based attention and autistic rule‑keeping can collide in inflexible systems.

He then looks at why neurodivergent students so often struggle more consistently than their neurotypical peers: the extra cognitive load of sitting still, suppressing stims, noticing every distraction, and trying to hold and process information in working memory at the same time. Aaron explains how people whose overall abilities are above average can still have relative weaknesses in working memory or processing speed that make standard classrooms and “just keep up with the teacher” delivery especially hard. Rather than framing these differences as laziness or defect, he reframes them as a mismatch between our cognitive profiles and systems designed by and for the statistical middle, and outlines practical accommodations like extra test time, movement breaks, and offering information in multiple formats.

Shifting into adulthood, Aaron discusses how the same patterns re‑emerge at work: fluorescent lights that trigger migraines, noisy open‑plan offices that overload attention, and instructions given in ways that don’t match a person’s processing style. He emphasises that adjustments like quieter rooms, flexible lighting, clear written instructions, and task structures that fit how someone’s brain works are not special treatment but good workplace design.

Key Themes & Takeaways
Executive Functioning & School – How distractibility, missed details, and perfectionism shape self‑esteem and “I’m not good enough” narratives from early on.
Rules, Rigidity & Social Fallout – How autistic rule‑following and ADHD‑style attention can combine to create painful but misunderstood social moments.
Systems and Mismatch – Why education and workplace systems built around the “average” brain leave neurodivergent people overworking just to keep pace.
Working Memory & Processing Speed – How uneven cognitive profiles make standard teaching and instruction styles harder, and why multi‑format information helps.
Workplaces, Sensory Load & EF – The impact of lights, noise, busyness, and unclear instructions on task completion, performance, and wellbeing.
Masking, Burnout & Capacity – What it looks like when masking tips into neurodivergent burnout, and why change needs to happen before full collapse.
Relationships & Assumptions – How an “all the details” brain plus anxiety can generate inaccurate, negatively skewed stories about other people.
Redefining “Disorder” – Viewing diagnosis as a description of mismatch between person and environment, not proof of personal defect.

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Keywords: AuDHD podcast, autism and ADHD, neurodivergent psychologist, neurodiversity affirming, Howearth Psychology, queer psychologist, autism diagnosis, ADHD awareness, lived experience, neurodivergent mental health, clinical psychology podcast

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🎙️ Episode 13: Understanding AuDHD – Executive Functioning and Daily Life (Part 2)
Episode Summary
In this episode of The AuDHD Psych Podcast, clinical psychologist Aaron Howearth moves from explaining executive functioning to exploring practical ways autistic, ADHD, and AuDHD people can work with their brains in daily life. He looks at how differences in working memory, processing speed, time perception, self-monitoring, and motivation interact with anxiety and self-esteem, and why our capacity to start, continue, and finish tasks can swing so dramatically from day to day.

Aaron describes how an ADHD-style “problem-solving brain” can flip into a “problem-finding brain” when worry and rumination take over, especially in generalized anxiety. He introduces worry postponement (also called worry time or the worry chair) as a structured way to park worries during the day, revisit them briefly in a time-limited “worry window,” and reclaim attention for the people, tasks, and moments that matter. Read more about worry postponement here: 

https://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/~/media/CCI/Mental-Health-Professionals/Generalised-Anxiety/Generalised-Anxiety---Information-Sheets/Generalised-Anxiety-Information-Sheet---05---Postpone-your-Worry.pdf

He also shares neurodivergent-friendly tools for time blindness, task initiation, and follow-through: externalising time with alarms, visual timers, and apps; body doubling and social accountability; reducing visual clutter and sensory load; and building routines gradually through habit stacking rather than overwhelming, all-or-nothing life overhauls. Throughout the episode, Aaron reframes “disorder” not as something inherent to autistic or ADHD traits, but as a mismatch between our brains and inflexible environments and expectations, inviting a more compassionate, neurodiversity-affirming way to understand executive functioning differences.

Key Themes & Takeaways

• Executive Functioning & Self-Concept – How repeated struggles with organisation, planning, and follow-through shape self-esteem and internal narratives like “I’m a failure.”
• ADHD Problem-Solving vs Problem-Finding – When a fast, creative brain shifts into scanning for everything that might go wrong and filling the gaps with negative assumptions.
• Worry Postponement – Using scheduled worry time to note worries during the day, revisit them briefly later, and reduce rumination while still letting the brain feel heard.
• Environmental Accommodations – Supports like written instructions, reduced visual clutter, sensory adjustments, and breaking tasks into smaller, more manageable steps.
• Time Blindness & Externalising Time – Making time concrete with timers, alarms, visual countdowns, and short, structured work blocks (e.g. Pomodoro-style sprints).
• Body Doubling & Accountability – Using co-working, study buddies, supervisors, therapists, or friends as external anchors while respecting strong drives for autonomy.
• Habit Stacking & Routine – Attaching new behaviours to existing habits so helpful routines become more automatic and less dependent on motivation in the moment.
• Redefining “Disorder” – Viewing diagnosis as a description of mismatch between person and environment rather than a verdict on the worth or capability of neurodivergent people.

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Keywords: AuDHD podcast, autism and ADHD, neurodivergent psychologist, neurodiversity affirming, Howearth Psychology, queer psychologist, autism diagnosis, ADHD awareness, lived experience, neurodivergent mental health, clinical psychology podcast

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🎙️ Episode 13: Executive Functioning in Daily Life: ADHD, Autism & AuDHD

Episode Summary

In this episode of The AuDHD Psych Podcast, Aaron Howearth explores how executive functioning shapes everyday life for autistic, ADHD, and AuDHD individuals. Why do tasks that “should” be simple – studying, working, organising the day, or following through on plans – so often feel overwhelming or impossible, even when we know exactly what we’re meant to be doing?

Drawing from both clinical psychology and lived experience, Aaron explains executive functions as the brain’s “mental mechanics”: planning, organisation, working memory, impulse control, sustained attention, and cognitive flexibility. He unpacks how differences in these areas are common across neurodevelopmental conditions and how they influence our ability to start, persist with, and complete tasks in real-world contexts.

Aaron also explores the apparent contradiction between autistic and ADHD profiles – rules, structure, and rigidity on one side; impulsivity, distractibility, and jumping between tasks on the other – and how these traits can coexist within AuDHD individuals. Rather than seeing executive functioning as a fixed trait, he highlights how attention, motivation, and follow-through shift with factors like environment, stress, novelty, interest, and internal state.

This episode offers clarity, validation, and a practical language for understanding why executive functioning challenges show up the way they do, and invites a more compassionate, neurodiversity-affirming perspective on how we navigate daily life with different “mental mechanics.”

Key Themes & Takeaways

• Executive Functions Explained – What planning, working memory, cognitive flexibility, impulse control, and self-monitoring are, and how they operate as the brain’s day-to-day management system.
• ADHD Executive Profiles – How inattention, distractibility, impulsivity, delay intolerance, and working memory challenges affect studying, work tasks, multi-step activities, and follow-through.
• Autistic Executive Profiles – How differences in flexibility and planning show up as routines, rules-based thinking, “rigidity,” and difficulty shifting track in conversations or when plans change.
• AuDHD Internal Tension – Why having both rule-following drives and impulsive, distractible tendencies can create chronic stress, self-criticism, and a build-up of unfinished tasks.
• Working Memory & Everyday Life – How reduced working memory capacity contributes to lost intentions, forgotten items, and difficulties holding and manipulating information in the moment.
• Impulse, Consequences & Social Impact – How acting on impulses without fully projecting consequences can subtly but significantly affect learning, relationships, and self-image over time.
•  Rigidity, Routine & Habit Stacking – How turning cognitive rigidity into structured routines and habit stacks can reduce executive load and make important tasks more automatic.
• Contextual Functioning – How environment, expectations, stress, and internal states influence executive capacity, and why functioning can fluctuate rather than reflect a fixed level of ability.
• Reframing “Difficulty” – Moving away from moralising language like “lazy” or “disorganised” toward a neurodiversity-affirming understanding of executive functioning differences and how to work with them.

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Keywords: AuDHD podcast, autism and ADHD, neurodivergent psychologist, neurodiversity affirming, Howearth Psychology, queer psychologist, autism diagnosis, ADHD awareness, lived experience, neurodivergent mental health, clinical psychology podcast

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🎙️ Episode 11: Q&A Part 2

Episode Summary

In this episode of The AuDHD Psych Podcast, Aaron Howearth continues the community Q&A, responding to several commonly asked questions about neurodivergent experiences and expanding on themes raised in previous episodes. The conversation covers topics including perimenopause and menopause in neurodivergent people, the relationship between neurodiversity and gender diversity, how diagnostic impairment levels can change across life circumstances, and the internal tensions often experienced by people with both autistic and ADHD traits.

Aaron explains how hormonal fluctuations during perimenopause and menopause can influence neurotransmitter systems linked to attention, sensory processing, and executive functioning. For some neurodivergent people, these biological changes can amplify existing cognitive and sensory differences, particularly for individuals who may have previously relied on masking or compensatory strategies.

The episode also revisits the intersection between gender diversity and neurodivergence, exploring how autistic cognitive styles that question inconsistent social rules may contribute to different experiences of gender identity. Aaron further discusses how sensory processing differences, attention, and interoception can intensify experiences of gender dysphoria or body-related awareness.

Finally, Aaron answers several frequently asked questions about AuDHD experiences, including the tension between ADHD novelty-seeking and autistic needs for routine, the dynamics of hyperfocus versus task initiation difficulties, fluctuations in social energy, and how masking can sometimes be adaptive depending on context. Throughout the discussion, he emphasises that many challenges attributed to neurodivergence arise from mismatches between individuals and their environments rather than inherent personal deficits.

Key Themes & Takeaways

• Hormonal Changes & Neurodivergence - Fluctuations during perimenopause and menopause can amplify attention, sensory, and executive functioning differences.

• Masking & Late Recognition - Biological or life changes can reduce compensatory capacity, revealing previously masked neurodivergent traits.

• Gender & Neurodivergent Thinking - Autistic cognition often questions rigid social rules, including traditional gender binaries.

• Sensory Processing & Dysphoria - Attention, sensory sensitivity, and interoception can intensify experiences of gender dysphoria.

• Contextual Impairment - Autism support levels and ADHD severity reflect environmental demands as much as individual traits.

• AuDHD Internal Conflict - ADHD novelty-seeking can coexist with autistic preferences for routine and predictability.

• Hyperfocus & Task Initiation - Interest-based attention allows deep focus on engaging tasks but makes boring tasks difficult to start.

• Planning vs Panic - Detailed planning tendencies can interact with ADHD overwhelm, leading to procrastination and last-minute urgency.

• Social Energy Fluctuation - Socialising can feel energising or draining depending on stress, sensory load, and available energy.

• Different, Not Defective - Many neurodivergent difficulties arise from environmental mismatch rather than inherent personal deficits.

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Keywords: AuDHD podcast, autism and ADHD, neurodivergent psychologist, neurodiversity affirming, Howearth Psychology, queer psychologist, autism diagnosis, ADHD awareness, lived experience, neurodivergent mental health, clinical psychology podcast

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“When I'm surrounded by people like me, I don't feel disordered. I feel understood.”

🎙️ Ep 10: Your Questions Answered – Diagnosis, Self-ID & “Different, Not Defective”

Episode Summary
In this Q&A episode of the AuDHD Psych Podcast, Aaron responds to questions and comments from the community about autism, ADHD, diagnosis, and what it really means to be “different, not defective.” Drawing on both clinical experience and lived AuDHD perspective, he unpacks why being autistic and having an autism spectrum disorder diagnosis are related but not identical concepts, and how context, support, and privilege shape whether traits become impairing or remain simply part of who we are.​

Aaron explores why many clearly neurodivergent people never receive a formal diagnosis, highlighting the role of masking, family strategies, and multi-generational awareness in buffering against distress and “disorder” labels. He uses accessible metaphors (like having legs versus having broken legs) to explain the difference between having autistic characteristics and meeting criteria for a disorder, and reframes autism and ADHD as neurotypes that can generate both difficulty and strength depending on the environment.​

The conversation moves into self-identification versus formal diagnosis, including the privilege, cost, and gatekeeping surrounding assessment and why Aaron prefers the language of being “self-identified” rather than “self-diagnosed.” He also addresses concerns that self-identification “mocks” those with formal diagnoses, noting that most self-identified autistic and ADHD people he meets have done deep research, grappled with imposter syndrome, and know their traits intimately long before tentatively claiming the label.​

Aaron then discusses diagnostic complexity, including how conditions like borderline personality disorder, complex trauma, OCD, and AuDHD can overlap or be misread as one another, especially when clinicians are unfamiliar with neurodivergent presentations. He illustrates how autistic and ADHD traits can be mistaken for personality pathology or compulsions when we don’t yet have a neurodiversity lens, and notes that co-occurrence is also possible — it’s not always either/or.​

Finally, Aaron touches on life stage factors such as perimenopause and shifting environmental demands (like starting university) that can dramatically change how ADHD and autistic traits show up, even when the underlying neurotype has been there since childhood. He closes by reflecting on the power of community, the emotional labour of advocacy, and his gratitude for listeners whose engagement and reviews help spread the core message of the podcast: we are different, not disordered.​

Key Themes & Takeaways

• Autism and ADHD are neurotypes (ways brains work), while “disorder” labels are applied when traits create significant difficulty in current environments.​
• Being autistic and having an autism spectrum disorder diagnosis are not the same thing; diagnosis is a professional label, not the origin of traits.​
• Many autistic and ADHD people remain undiagnosed due to masking, high intellect, strong supports, or family strategies that buffer visible impairment.​
• You can have autistic characteristics without meeting criteria for autism spectrum disorder, much like having legs without having broken legs.​
• Self-identification is often the result of extensive learning, reflection, and imposter syndrome, not a casual trend or a “mockery” of formal diagnoses.​
• Diagnostic overlap and misdiagnosis are common, particularly between AuDHD, borderline traits, complex trauma, and OCD-like presentations.​
• Environment, life stage (e.g., perimenopause), and accumulated coping strategies can change how neurodivergent traits appear over time.​
• Community, validation, and shared language around neurodivergence can reduce sh

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Keywords: AuDHD podcast, autism and ADHD, neurodivergent psychologist, neurodiversity affirming, Howearth Psychology, queer psychologist, autism diagnosis, ADHD awareness, lived experience, neurodivergent mental health, clinical psychology podcast

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🎙️ Episode 9: Understanding AuDHD: Late Diagnosis and Diagnostic Levels 

Episode Summary

In this episode of The AuDHD Psych Podcast, Aaron Howearth explores one of the most common and emotionally loaded experiences in the neurodivergent community: late diagnosis. Why are so many autistic and ADHD individuals missed in childhood? Why do diagnoses often come after years, or even decades, of anxiety, depression, or misdiagnosis?

Drawing from both clinical psychology and lived experience, Aaron explains how traditional diagnostic frameworks were historically built around externalising presentations, often observed in young boys. This has left many neurodivergent individuals, particularly internalisers, high-masking people, and those with higher-than-average intellect, unseen by clinicians.

Aaron also discusses diagnostic severity and support levels, challenging the idea that these labels describe fixed traits. Instead, impairment and severity are reframed as dynamic, context-dependent experiences shaped by environment, stress, confidence, and internal states.

This episode offers clarity, validation, and a compassionate perspective on how neurodivergent traits are understood and misunderstood within clinical systems.

Key Themes & Takeaways

• Late Diagnosis Explained - How historical diagnostic criteria centred on visible, external behaviours contributed to generations of missed neurodivergent individuals.
• Externalising vs Internalising Presentations - Why many autistic and ADHD traits remain unnoticed when distress is internalised, behaviours are masked, or difficulties are cognitively compensated for.
• Misdiagnosis Pathways - Exploring overlaps with anxiety disorders, OCD, and borderline personality disorder, and how neurodivergent traits can be misinterpreted.
• The Role of Intellect & Compensation - How higher cognitive ability can obscure challenges, delaying recognition and diagnosis.
• Mood & Cognitive Functioning - Understanding how anxiety, depression, stress, and overwhelm can amplify or conceal ADHD and autistic characteristics.
• Rejection Sensitivity & Minority Stress - How social exclusion and misunderstanding influence emotional experiences across neurodivergent lives.
• Diagnostic Severity & Support Levels - Why ADHD severity and autism support levels are not static identities but reflections of contextual demand.
• Contextual Impairment - How environment, expectations, stress, and confidence influence functioning and perceived difficulty.
• Reframing “Impairment” - Moving away from fixed deficit thinking toward a dynamic, neurodiversity-affirming understanding of challenges.

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Keywords: AuDHD podcast, autism and ADHD, neurodivergent psychologist, neurodiversity affirming, Howearth Psychology, queer psychologist, autism diagnosis, ADHD awareness, lived experience, neurodivergent mental health, clinical psychology podcast

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Keywords: AuDHD podcast, autism and ADHD, neurodivergent psychologist, neurodiversity affirming, Howearth Psychology, queer psychologist, autism diagnosis, ADHD awareness, lived experience, neurodivergent mental health, clinical psychology podcast

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“If the rule doesn’t make sense, it has no value to me.”

🎙️ Ep 8: Labels, their Utility & Lack Thereof

Episode Summary

In this episode of the AuDHD Psych Podcast, Aaron and Uma explore the intersection between gender diversity and neurodiversity, unpacking how autistic and neurodivergent ways of thinking can shape experiences of gender, identity, and self-understanding.

Aaron reflects on his own gender experience and how autistic logic, detail orientation, and a rejection of arbitrary social rules influenced his relationship with gender — including why he does not experience gender dysphoria in the same way many gender-diverse people do. The conversation expands into the lived realities of gender dysphoria for neurodivergent people, particularly how sensory differences can amplify discomfort and distress.

The episode also dives into what genuinely affirming gender care looks like, highlighting the importance of listening, accessibility, and avoiding harmful assumptions — such as the idea that gender diversity in autistic people is “just a special interest.” Finally, Aaron and Uma reflect on the power of community, advocacy, and shared support, especially for people navigating multiple marginalized identities.

Key Themes & Takeaways

• Gender and biological sex are not the same, and both exist on spectrums
• Autistic cognition often questions and rejects illogical social rules, including rigid gender binaries
• Gender dysphoria can be intensified by sensory sensitivities in neurodivergent people
• Gender-affirming care goes beyond pronouns to include sensory, environmental, and communication needs
• Viewing autistic gender diversity as a “special interest” is invalidating and harmful
• Advocacy requires energy — and it’s okay to need others to advocate with or for you
• Community is a powerful protective factor, especially at the intersection of neurodivergence and gender diversity
• Online spaces can be lifelines for connection, visibility, and belonging

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 You can also support the show by engaging with us on social media or leaving a review — it really helps more people find these conversations.

Keywords: Autism, ADHD, AuDHD, neurodiversity, gender diversity, gender dysphoria, sensory processing, gender-affirming care, advocacy, community, neuroqueering, LGBTQIA+, intersectionality

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Keywords: AuDHD podcast, autism and ADHD, neurodivergent psychologist, neurodiversity affirming, Howearth Psychology, queer psychologist, autism diagnosis, ADHD awareness, lived experience, neurodivergent mental health, clinical psychology podcast

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“The same traits that create difficulty can also be the ones that help us thrive.”

🎙️ Episode 7: Understanding The Neurodiversity Affirming Paradigm - Building Balanced Beliefs

Episode Summary

Welcome to Episode 8 of The AuDHD Psych Podcast — hosted by Aaron Howearth, a clinical psychologist and proudly AuDHD human.

In this solo episode, Aaron explores the neurodiversity-affirming paradigm and what it truly means to view autism, ADHD, and other neurodivergent experiences as differences rather than disorders. Drawing from clinical practice, lived experience, and real-world examples, Aaron unpacks how neurodivergent characteristics are not inherently strengths or weaknesses — they simply are, and their impact depends on context, environment, and support.

Through personal reflections on relationships, conflict, professional problem-solving, and past military service, Aaron illustrates how the same traits can contribute to both challenge and capability. The episode also examines the limits of deficit-based and medical models, the role of diagnosis and privilege, and how stratifying support needs can unintentionally fracture neurodivergent communities.

This episode offers a grounded, compassionate perspective on how clinical psychology and neurodiversity affirmation can sit side-by-side, helping individuals build stronger self-concepts, resilience, and community connection.

Key Themes & Takeaways

• What Is the Neurodiversity-Affirming Paradigm?
   Understanding neurodivergence as natural variation in human cognition — not inherently disordered or deficient.
• Characteristics Are Context-Dependent
   The same autistic and ADHD traits can be helpful in one environment and unhelpful in another.
• Strengths and Struggles Come From the Same Place
  Detail orientation, impulsivity, and divergent thinking can contribute to both conflict and creativity.
• Environment Shapes Support Needs
  It’s not traits alone that create impairment, but the mismatch between a person and their environment.
• The Limits of Deficit-Based Models
  How focusing only on what’s “wrong” can harm self-esteem, resilience, and community wellbeing.
• Diagnosis, Privilege, and Validity
  Why access to diagnosis requires resources — and why lack of diagnosis does not invalidate neurodivergent identity.
• Autism Levels and Gatekeeping
  Exploring how support stratification can unintentionally create hierarchies within the autistic community.
• Different, Not Less
  A reminder that neurodivergent people are not broken — just wired differently.

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If you enjoyed this episode, please like, follow, subscribe, and share The AuDHD Psych Podcast across your platforms. Your support helps broaden neurodiversity-affirming conversations and reach those who need them.

Have questions, reflections, or topic suggestions? We’d love to hear from you — your voices help shape future episodes.

Keywords: neurodiversity affirming, AuDHD podcast, autism and ADHD, neurodivergent traits, different not less, autism support needs, ADHD lived experience, deficit vs strengths model, clinical psychology podcast, neurodivergent identity, Howearth Psychology

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Keywords: AuDHD podcast, autism and ADHD, neurodivergent psychologist, neurodiversity affirming, Howearth Psychology, queer psychologist, autism diagnosis, ADHD awareness, lived experience, neurodivergent mental health, clinical psychology podcast

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“The new year doesn’t need to fix you — you were already doing your best.”

In this reflective New Year’s themed episode of AuDHD Psych, Aaron and Uma explore the quiet space between years — a time often filled with pressure to reset, improve, and reinvent. Through a neurodivergent lens, they unpack why traditional New Year’s resolutions can feel overwhelming or harmful for autistic and ADHD people, and why slow, values-aligned change is often more sustainable. The conversation reframes growth as internal, incremental, and deeply personal, highlighting quiet wins, self-compassion, and progress that doesn’t need to be visible or performative. Rather than chasing arbitrary milestones, this episode invites listeners to honour what worked, question unhelpful beliefs, and move into the new year with curiosity instead of self-criticism.

Takeaways

• The New Year can amplify unrealistic expectations, self-judgment, and pressure to change overnight
• Traditional resolutions often clash with neurodivergent brains that value sustainability, flexibility, and meaning
• Small, quiet changes can have a bigger impact than dramatic overhauls
• Reflecting on what worked is just as important as identifying what didn’t
• Themes and values can be more supportive than rigid goals or timelines
• Progress is not linear, and planning for disruption reduces shame and burnout
• Self-compassion and relationship with self underpin all other goals
   Growth can be internal, subtle, and still deeply valid

Keywords
 AuDHD, neurodivergence, New Year mental health, autistic and ADHD goals, self-compassion, internal growth, quiet progress, neurodivergent goal setting, burnout prevention, reflective practice, New Year pressure, sustainable change

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Keywords: AuDHD podcast, autism and ADHD, neurodivergent psychologist, neurodiversity affirming, Howearth Psychology, queer psychologist, autism diagnosis, ADHD awareness, lived experience, neurodivergent mental health, clinical psychology podcast

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“The absence of a reminder doesn’t mean the love isn’t there.”

 In this festive episode of AuDHD Psych, Aaron and Uma explore how the holiday season can uniquely impact neurodivergent folk. While celebrations are often framed as joyful and meaningful, they can also bring sensory overload, disrupted routines, social pressure, emotional fatigue, and heightened expectations. Drawing on lived experience and clinical insight, the conversation unpacks masking, burnout, gift-giving stress, overthinking, and the delicate balance between connection and self-preservation. This episode offers permission to slow down, take breaks, set boundaries, and approach the holidays in a way that honours individual needs — reminding listeners that there is no single “right” way to celebrate.

Takeaways

• Disrupted routines and heightened sensory input during holidays can significantly increase stress for autistic and ADHD individuals
• Overcommitting socially often leads to burnout, even when connection is genuinely wanted
• Taking breaks — physical, emotional, or relational — is protective, not rude
• Masking can serve a purpose, but conscious, consent-based masking and selective unmasking reduce long-term stress
• Gift-giving and emotional reciprocity can be complicated by differences in communication, expectations, and interpretation
• The absence of contact or follow-up is often a reflection of overwhelm, not a lack of care
• Boundaries, energy awareness, and self-compassion matter more than meeting social ideals

Keywords
AuDHD, neurodivergence, holidays and mental health, autistic burnout, ADHD emotional regulation, masking and unmasking, sensory overload, social fatigue, boundaries, perfectionism, Christmas stress, neurodivergent wellbeing

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Keywords: AuDHD podcast, autism and ADHD, neurodivergent psychologist, neurodiversity affirming, Howearth Psychology, queer psychologist, autism diagnosis, ADHD awareness, lived experience, neurodivergent mental health, clinical psychology podcast