First actual mix in a long time, hope you guys enjoy. This is my first mix with 99.9% Original -Ū. music only with the exception of the intro for dramatic effect. Hope you guys enjoy it. Thanks for listening.
Here's a screenplay of enter the multiverse to coincide with the commemoration of the SNL 50's anniversary/ L E G E N D S crossover.
Fun Fact: The First appearence of Liz Lemon in this show {Enter The Multiverse} is in season one, which first aired in May of 2021.
The 1st and subsequent seasons will soon be avalible for reading and listening on my website https://www.iamu.guru. Enjoy this mix and the avaliable downloads you'll find there and stay tuned for upcoming stuff. Just a reminder, all of my content is totally free for download. If you enjoy this series, drop a like and subscribe and follow on your favorite streaming platforms and all of my channels.
Thanks for your continued support and listens/reads. Happy Passover; blessings and peace to you.
INT. ALIEN SPACESHIP - DAY
The cramped, metallic interior of an alien spacecraft. Two bizarre, multi-limbed ALIENS are locked in a furious argument. The sounds are not words, but a cacophony of distorted electronic noises.
(A series of rapid, high-pitched BLIPS and WHIRS)
(A deep, guttural GROWL followed by a drawn-out, wavering TONE)
BLIM-BLIM-BLIM-BLIM— FLAU—FLAU—FLAU!
—————EeeeeEeeeeeEEEEEEEEENNMMMMMMMMMNGGGGGGGGG!!!
Alien 2 makes a highly offensive hand gesture. Alien 1 responds with a highly offensive gesture using another body part.
Suddenly, RACHEL DRATCH, dressed impeccably and radiating an air of cool detachment, enters the scene and calmly observes the arguing aliens.
(To herself, almost a whisper)
Well, this is… something.
INT. ROCKEFELLER PLAZA - SUNNI BLU'S OFFICE - DAY
SUNNI BLU, sharp and impeccably dressed, stares with wide eyes at a ridiculously large ELECTRICITY BILL. Sunlight streams through the massive windows overlooking Rockefeller Plaza.
Since when did keeping the lights on cost this much? Absorbing ConEd was supposed to *save* money.
Suddenly, a disembodied VOICE echoes in the room.
There's a test?! What test?!
It came with a lesson— you didn't think there was going to be a test.
EXT. THE LONELY ISLAND CLIFF - DAY
ANDY (ALEKSI), dressed in surprisingly clean white robes despite the precarious location, stands on the edge of a towering cliff overlooking a vast ocean. He takes a running leap off the edge.
He plummets downwards for a beat. Then, with a gentle WHOOSH, he lands perfectly upright on the sandy beach below.
I told you I could stick the landing.
It wasn't always The Lonely Island…
INT. HEAVENLY WAITING ROOM - DAY
ALEKSI (ANDY SANDBERG), now with subtle, mischievous angelic wings, winks directly at the camera.
Tina FEY, also with small, slightly more exasperated-looking wings, enters. ALEKSI winks extra harder at her.
I wish! At this point, I wish— unfortunately, those aren't the types of wishes I'm in charge of overseeing.
A large, ornate PACKAGE appears unexpectedly at TINA's feet.
When something appears unexpectedly at your doorstep, it's called a windfall, right?
Yeah. I think that's what this is.
And when it's something you really need, it's a gift from God. Isn't it?
Honestly, I thought it was just a gentler way of letting me know I was ugly— after a particularly horrible photo opportunity at the airport.
I had just been up for 72 plus hours straight and only slept something like 4 or 5–but of course—
INT. AIRPORT SECURITY - EARLY MORNING
A haggard and disheveled TINA sits slumped on a lopsided BEANBAG in the middle of the bustling security line. Bright lights shine in her face as various machines WHIR and BEEP, scanning her.
This was staggered sleep from atop a lopsided beanbag.
I've been getting used to having lights shined in my face for awhile now. Still, I was not so ready for a full work up of my biometrics in this early morning crusade to Los Angeles.
A stern-faced AGENT approaches her.
The Agency thought you were terminally ill.
The AGENT clears his throat.
Consider this as, ah— Hm. Ojo translates directly to Eye. Doesn't it?
Undoubtedly. —an incentives.
I don't need anymore incentives, Captain. I need income.
You were always the captain.
News to the News. That's something new.
But it's news to you. Sarcasm. I need a paycheck.
New York had put spots and marks on my faces— a broken blood vessel from fighting some demonized African girl— and I'm sure that was what she was, after all…
TINA is struggling in a bizarre fight with a shadowy FIGURE. The scene has a surreal, “As Seen On TV” commercial feel.
Who tries to kill you, and then does their hair to be more like yours? That's major weird.
Then again, since moving to New York… Oh, Holy shit. Everything is major weird.
A shimmering PORTAL opens in the middle of the apartment.
TITLE CARD: AS SEEN ON TV: PART III
Where the fuck is part one and two?!
Maybe it starts at three!
Nothing “starts at three”
Maybe it's like Star Wars!
A CATACLYSMIC SPACESHIP COLLISION and EXPLOSION sound effect.
…it's not like Star Wars.
Uh huh. It's better than star wars.
A giant collective GASP is heard.
Suddenly, all sound ceases.
There: I fixed overpopulation.
But— weren't some of those fans, also fans of this show.
Like an overwhelming majority.
Majority? Yeah— they're— These are nerds.
Fuck. Right. So where did you send them?!
Heaven for any Star Wars fan—
The world where all of that stuff— is real.
What—what do you mean by that.
I sent them to Star World.
That sounds so fucking gay.
Fuck. Oh, that's right— Non-star wars fans are sometimes Cynics Read: Major fucking assholes. I guess I fall into that category, eh— a little bit?
“No duh.” What part of the nineties was your heyday?
Jesus, Tina. You might be ancient.
Hey— What. Why are you my assistant now.
Assistant? No. I'm your executive producer.
ExeCUTEive producer— you do put the cute in that.
(Not being cute, unamused, but still very cute)
And nobody cares, of course
Because she is formerly gorgeous
I'm standing on four paws
And I caught you taking your clothes off
Don't call me no more, hoe
You started a war slamming doors
Because you can't find no more work
Karen and Becky are probably blessings
But I'm doing better and yet
They are starting to sweat cause
They're slamming the door
They never been homeless before
But no peace of mind? It's fine
I'll probably find in time
That they crossed the line
I spring up but I do not pop
“Sure, I'm not really sure,
But I got the cure for your disease
The God of Mercy, Mercy Me
I got my first Mercedes in 1993
A very tall, redheaded SHOWMAN (CONAN O'BRIEN, though slightly off) has just finished a days-long BENDER. He is not the polished figure America knows. He shakily lines up a mysterious white substance on a grimy surface.
Just… need… a little… pick-me-up.
A mysterious FIGURE appears silently behind him.
Conan looks up, bleary-eyed, barely lifting his head.
I don't know what you're saying.
Apparently, that was the line, and I felt like I was crossing into a strange territory with this, one Conan O'Brien, and almost absolutely certain I was spelling his name wrong, but continued to do so anyway— one, because I refused to look him up, and two— because if ever I entered into a plot hole deep enough the mechanics of my own knowledge of hyper and multidimensional space travels to explain, then having a Conan O'Brien and a Conan O'Brian might become useful. Today, I want useful, because I wanted to go back to sleep with enough energy to still wake up with enough energy to run a mile on the full sized treadmill downstairs. Then, I had day-people things to do— and for whatever reason, this seemed like one of them. It was a welcome deviation from—
A boisterous, red-faced MAN stumbles into the room.
I told you the Irish were coming. *the fighting Irish.
Ah yes, the fighting Irish—
Apparently, this was some centuries long kind of battle between ancient clans//and so, I did my very best o find my way out of it, until
A fierce, heavily tattooed WOMAN bursts in.
—i was found out. My surname was Scottish, but nonetheless, it was a fied older than borders were, anyway.
EXT. MUSIC FESTIVAL - DAY
A chaotic, vibrant music festival. ANDY (ALEKSI) approaches a gruff-looking SECURITY GUARD.
What's your deal with the KKK, anyway?
I like them. They're funny.
That doesn't make them any less funny. In fact, now they might be more funny.
No, I'm funny. I like them blonde, Tall, dark skinned, Woah, scratch that.
Narrow down my picks I like them Icelandic And Slavic
Oh dear I like them impossible to topple over, No, God— Nevermind;
I like them whiter than light snow on a cold night There you go I like them strong—
But only in thought forms Keyboard warrior,
But I'd like to get her in a choke hold So she'll stop snoring
No Lord— I should win an award for this song
I should win an award for this song
I should win an award for this song
ANDY spots SUNNI BLU in the crowd, looking stressed.
SUNNI, Do you have the academy on your payroll?
(Shouting over the music)
A stereotypical SUPER JEW ACCOUNTANT, complete with a large yarmulke and clutching a ledger, scurries past.
actually, surprisingly, I think you're on theirs! See!
Seriously?!! That's not anti semitic at all.
(It's not, it's pro-semitic)
More Jews and Rosecurucians
More Jews and Rosicrucians!
I took a bite out of you, And now I want my life back!
More news and prosecutions
More blues and resurrections
More impossible erections Interject—
—I should probably call a doctor. It's been way more than four hours.
I have way more than four houses— I've way more than four flowers,
I've way more than four dollars—
I've way more than four collars with sparkles on them.
I wear cargo pants for the ride home though.
INT. HEADQUARTERS INTERROGATION ROOM - DAY
CC (NATALIE PORTMAN, though not explicitly stated) enters the stark interrogation room. A MAN sits at a metal table, wrists chained. CC sits down opposite him, calm and composed.
I… am a trained assassin.
There are people who want to murder you.
Now I'm impressed with myself.
Yes! Ah. Delighted, actually.
“A charismatic number” writes the New York Times review of my most recently cherished endeavor.
Which means for once in your life you might have actually been on time.
Or just late enough, or just early enough, or— you know.
It starts where I get there, or they were just waiting for me anyway. You know. Or you don't.
Then you should have plenty of time for self study between now and your execution.
Hah! My execution?! That's where this is heading.
Have or haven't you been following along that this is what I've ultimately desired. My suffering ends in peace with knowing that you, too, shall cease to exist.
INT. OBSERVATION ROOM - DAY
Other DETECTIVES watch the interrogation through a one-way mirror, their faces grim.
What could possibly be going on in there?
I wonder what she's saying.
Looks like she has him cornered.
Jesus, can you speak in anything more than one word sentences.
BACK IN THE INTERROGATION ROOM, a heavy silence hangs in the air.
You wanted “CC” so I'm “CC”
The MAN strains against his restraints.
Suddenly my love affair with words and art and theatrical thoroughfare was coming to an end. This was something of a disaster set against the backdrop of a really real world— a world that seemed not to want me in it.
EXT. NEW YORK CITY STREET - DAY
LIZ LEMON (TINA FEY) walks down a crowded street, furiously dialing her cellphone.
EXT. MARDI GRAS PARADE - NEW ORLEANS - DAY
TRACY JORDAN (also TINA FEY, in elaborate Mardi Gras attire) is on a vibrant parade float, throwing beads to the cheering crowd. His phone rings.
WHERE ARE YOU?! I'm on my way to the parade!
I'm AT the parade! Where are YOU?
Not that parade! Mardi Gras!
WHY?! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE ON A FLOAT— In NEW YORK CITY— In 22 MINUTES.
Don't worry, I'll be there.
YOU'LL BE THERE?! You're at a parade! In New Orleans!
Tracy hangs up. He grins at the crowd and throws more beads.
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