The Authenticity Coach

There is much truth to the proverb "You get what you give." But what can you do when you are giving -- & you are not getting in return? This is the time to acknowledge the corollary to the "You get what you give" adage: You can give what you get. You have the right to give to someone only as much as you are receiving.

If over-giving is causing you to feel disappointment, longing, resentment & pain, this episode is for you. Healthy giving is about reciprocity & mutual willingness, not tit-for-tat score keeping. Forego the fantasy of the future & release yourself from the nightmare of today.

Learn how to access where & how you are giving too much. Explore practical ways to adjust your giving. Learn how to communicate & carry out your new limits in a direct & meaningful manner.

You want to be fairly compensated & appreciated for your work, but pay & praise are not enough. You also need to have the title you deserve. Whether you are accepting a job at a new company, being promoted or have gradually taken on more & more responsibilities in your current position, it is important to negotiate for the job title & pay grade level that reflect the tasks & level of responsibility of your role.

Having a title that is on par with your position provides you with clear authority, supports your compensation & enables your mobility. Learn why each of these benefits is valuable & how to protect yourself from the risks of having a job title or grade level that does not recognize the extent of your authority or the magnitude or your contributions.

Do you struggle to enjoy what you are doing? Is it difficult to feel satisfied with what you already have? Are you driven by the constant hope of things being better in the future -- or by the relentless fear of either doing something wrong or of something going wrong?

If so, the fierce trio of the familiar, fantasy & fear may be ruling your life -- from your major life decisions to your daily actions. Are you being terrorized by the three Fs? If you are like many high achievers, it is likely that you are subject to their dictates & that you are not aware of the extent to which they control what you think, feel & do.

Identify how it feels & looks to be oppressed by the familiar, fantasy & fear. Learn why it is so painful & limiting. And gain skills to break free of their tyranny. Gain practical approaches to be able to choose what serves you well. Understand how the three Fs pull you away from today & reality, trap you in the past & the future & tie you to distracting fantasies & unrealistic nightmares. Learn to think, live, take action & experience enjoyment in the real-life present moment -- a place & time where the tyranny of the familiar, fantasy & fear have little power to reign.

Do you feel pigeonholed in a role? Are you stuck with a professional reputation that limits you? Do you wish that you could do the type of work that you would love to do? But do you believe that you will never get the chance because you are already known so well for doing something -- or being someone -- that is so different from the sort of person who gets those opportunities?

If this is where you are, do not despair. It just means that it is time for you to make over your brand! A strong & established professional reputation is a highly valuable asset. When you are already well known & well respected, you have transferrable credibility.

Learn the three elements you need to deliberately manage to successfully launch your Professional Brand 2.0. Understand the art of tying the praise you are already receiving to the new work you are capable of doing. Gain practical tips for posting on LinkedIn, revising your LinkedIn profile, creating your bio & updating your resume. Learn how to inspire support by speaking in terms of what you are doing.

Intentional re-branding is your first step to stretching beyond the pigeonhole of how others currently perceive you & soaring towards the work you truly want to do.

Do you know what you want to do, but you can't seem to actually do it? Does something always get in the way? Or do you need to do more research, learning & preparation before you will be ready to start taking action? If so, this episode is for you.

Having the time & being ready are far more within your control than you may think. Learn how to be "time smart." Structure your day to align your capacity with your motivation, protecting your "best" hours for complex issues & creative initiatives. Understand how discipline is about prioritizing your values & goals, not about building superhuman willpower.

Explore questions to ask yourself to determine whether you are procrastinating or you truly need further preparation in order to be ready to act. Learn to be precise in identifying what it is that you need to learn, do or have before you can begin to take action. Give up the strict chronological view of actions having to follow plans in a time-bound sequence. Come to see planning & acting as dynamic forces that move in tandem. Make it your practice to weave together -- doing, learning, revising & more doing -- for an on-going expansive way of life.

Are you over-worked & over-extended? Does it feel as if everything at work falls onto you, because your team is not capable? Have you been told that you need to loosen the grip & delegate more? But do you shudder at the thought of giving up control?

If so, learn what you need to do to reclaim your time, energy & peace of mind. Don't blindly entrust others with your work & hard-earned reputation. Delegation without trust is dangerous. It's a recipe for disaster. Understand how to create a process that enables you to develop a team -- one that you can trust & to whom you can delegate with confidence.

Learn about the many facets of trust, extending beyond honesty to also include reliability, ability & good judgment. Identify the skill sets & qualities you need in team members. See why you may need both a clone (a mini-me who thinks & acts like you) & a complement (an associate whose different strengths supplement your superpowers). Become astute at developing talent by giving regular feedback & feedforward. Appreciate how communicating both praise & constructive criticism is the key to your freedom. Learn the value of making feedback & mentoring the cornerstones of your management style.

Are you a high achiever who is a problem-solver & quick to give advice? At times does your wise counsel fall on deaf ears or cause others to turn away? If so, this episode can help you develop the art of advice-giving.

Learn to identify your intention in each conversation or interaction. Is your aim to win, fix, understand or love? Is this an opportunity to help via giving advice to solve a problem? Or would the best support come by asking nonjudgmental, probing questions & listening to truly understand? Or might this be a situation that warrants neither giving commands nor having curiosity, but rather calls for quiet caring -- not the doing for, but the being with?

Hear simple questions that you can ask to be able to determine whether the time is right to give advice. Learn practical approaches for how you can offer solutions in ways that empower others to tap into their own wisdom.

Start to feel the impact & satisfaction of practicing the art of advice-giving. Enjoy the rewards of helping others in a dignified way -- without over-extending yourself or over-stepping your bounds.

Are you a relationship builder or a relationship leverager? If you want to achieve next-level success, you need to be both. You have a treasure chest of valuable professional relationships. Now it is time to convert some of those gems into active currency.

Understand the difference between building relationships & leveraging them. Learn to identify those individuals who are both able to help & willing to help. Become the type of person who others can leverage. Be the colleague who asks, "How can I help?"

Find the perspective that will allow you to examine & overcome the old mindsets that are getting in the way of your being the type of person who is at ease with leveraging relationships. Learn practical steps that you can start taking now. Become comfortable expanding your focus beyond great relationship building & develop a career-long practice of leveraging your relationships to be even more valuable.

Success requires a wishbone, a backbone & a funny bone. To achieve what will truly satisfy us, we need to have a clear intention as to what we are seeking, give that desire our strong attention & then let go of the tension as to how it comes to us.

Identify which " bone" you are missing & learn how to build its capacity. Whether you want a career that you are passionate about, relationships that are caring & fulfilling or the enjoyment of your weekends, this episode is for you.

Do you have a job, a career or a life? If you want to feel satisfied, it is imperative that your focus be aligned with your values & goals.

Understand the important differences between having a job & having a career --- & the distinction between having a career & having a life. Identify what you can do to break out of a job & position yourself to advance in a career. Learn to access whether your primary aim is your career or your life -- & gain insights to be able to determine whether the time is right to divide your focus.

A fulfilling life needs to be full. Build an array of wealth that is not only financial but also physical, spiritual, relational, emotional & more. Take the first step towards a life that is rich in time (not always "crazy busy") & allows you to feel good.