We read and reflect on Matthew 3:1-6. I talk about the voice in my head that denies that healing is possible, and the reflection I hear in today’s reading with my recovery book. I also commit to going out under the stars before I sleep.

We read and reflect on Mark 16:9-20. I talk about how I can’t be ready for new life when I am grieving, how the lizard brain fight or flight response is incompatible with reflection and new life. I also reaffirm my commitment to my hammock.

We read and reflect on John 16:16-33. I talk about cherishing and loving God, and being held in memories and old patterns during this quarantine crisis. I also commit to writing out ten things that give me joy, and naming them aloud to myself to keep myself from letting others take my joy.

We read and reflect on John 16:1-15.

We read and reflect on John 15:12-27. I talk about belonging and anger and hatred, and how hatred simply is; we can’t live our lives trying to avoid it. I also ponder the sequence Jesus describes as love, and how it amounts to vulnerability and intimacy, a willingness to share what is inside us.

We read and reflect on John 15:1-11. I talk about what it means to have a critical inner voice and how sometimes even this reading has caused me not to want anything. I also talk about needing a loving, inner parent to hear the real wants of my true self, and I commit to praying for myself.

We read and reflect on John 14:18-31. I talk about abandonment, fear, and how I torture myself with the anticipation of abandonment before it ever comes to pass. I also talk about the practices that give me peace, and how I realize that focusing on those practices allows God to come and find God’s home within me.

We read and reflect on John 14:8-17. I talk about being a people pleaser and how I hide myself from myself, and the fact that we are often hidden in our true natures from each other.

We read and reflect on John 14:1-7. I talk about the doctrine of the Trinity and how it shaped my faith even as it reflects my deepest longings.

We read and reflect on Mark 13:18-27. I talk about the unsustainability of trying to live like you only have five more minutes of your life. I also commit to ask God to be with me in my feelings in twenty minutes of breathing practice.