Every time we treat Canadian politics just as seriously as U.S. news, a news story comes along that reminds us we're basically a small town about to elect a dog as mayor. Luke and the Panel (Ian MacIntyre, Nile Seguin and Jocelyn Geddie) talk about Buttongate, the state of the race heading into the Debates, and why the Notwithstanding Clause is the Pringles of our Constitution. Then the Approximately 10 Minute Long Quiz discovers the best thing to do if you're being chased by the cops. 

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Savvy business genius tanks the world's economy, news at 11. Luke and the Panel (Clare Blackwood, Megan MacKay and Andrew Ivimey) talk about Trump's plan to destroy the stock market in order to bring manufacturing jobs back to America (where American robots will do them), brainstorm some ideas for Canada's Conservatives to turn this election around, and wonder why Mark Carney is even bothering to campaign at this point. Then the Approximately 10 Minute Long Quiz discovers the least sexy, least edible thing you can do with a carrot. 

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Donald Trump's Liberation Day Tariffs are here, and this time he won't back down for at least two days! Luke and the Panel (Ian MacIntyre, Clare Blackwood and Megan MacKay) talk about the Conservatives' lack of election strategy, Pierre Poilievre's not at all creepy biological clock comments and how Canada's retaliatory tariffs are getting real weird, real fast. Then the Approximately 10 Minute Long Quiz discovers the worst way to find out you're keeping your home too hot.

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The writ has dropped, and it hit Pierre Poilievre directly on the head. Luke and the Panel (Megan MacKay, Clare Blackwood and Nile Seguin) talk Danielle Smith's disastrous Breitbart interview, Pierre Poilievre getting by with a little help from his friends in the Indian government, Mark Carney's brillant strategy of being a sane Conservative in Liberal clothes, and the Green Party's hydra-esque Leadership structure. Also we spend 3 minutes discussing the television series Reacher for some reason. Then the Approximately 10 Minute Long Quiz discovers what item has been seized at the U.S. border way more often than fentanyl. 

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We're back baby! After a brief 6.5 year absence The Beaverton Weekly Report returns to make fun of the news. Luke and the Panel (Ian MacIntyre, Clare Blackwood and Nile Seguin) talk Mark Carney's first few days in office, the Conservatives struggles to find attack ads that work on a PM who looks like he came out of a bottle labelled 'generic politician' and Donald Trump's latest rational for annexing Canada. Then the Approximately 10 Minute Long Quiz discovers the most cartoonish way to crash a Tesla.

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Welcome (back) to The Beaverton Weekly Report, a satirical panel show where Beaverton editor-in-chief Luke Gordon Field assembes Canada's funniest comedians to riff on the news of the week. From the silly to the serious, the tragic to the tumultuous, we'll be there to make fun of it all. But don't worry. We don't want to be too much of a bummer, so we promise to talk about New Brunswick as little as possible. 

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Luke and the Panel (Lora Campbell, Chanty Marostica and Lucia Linares Leon) do a deep dive on gender identity issues. They discuss how the trans and non-binary communities are dealing with attacks from Doug Ford, Donald Trump, faux allies and even other members of the lgbtq community. Then they break down Justin Trudeau's supes cas 50 million dollar charity donation tweet. And the approximately ten minute long quiz discovers the Catholic Church might be bad? 

Luke and the Panel (Andrew Ivimey, Jon Blair, Todd Van Allen) talk about people getting screwed over! Specifically the people of Oshawa getting screwed over by GM (1:00), Paul Manafort maybe getting screwed over by Julian Assange by way of Robert Mueller (18:30) and refugees/human rights/Mexican sovereignty getting screwed over by the Trump admin (32:00). 

Luke and the Panel (Michael Balazo, Kristy LaPointe and Ian MacIntyre) try not to get overwhelmed by how much news there is. They start by recapping the midterm elections and CNN's coverage (1:45), then move on to Trump firing everyone's favourite racist elf in Jeff Sessions (32:00) and Tony Clement's Unsexy Sexy Scandal (39:30). Then the Approximately Ten Minute Long Quiz discovers the best get rich quick scheme of all time.