The Beaverton Weekly Report

"As long as you get it here before the midterms, we'll forgive 10-20 war crimes of your choice." Luke and the Panel (Ian MacIntyre, Clare Blackwood and Nile Seguin) talk about Trump's betrayal of Ukraine, a possible live streamed firing squad and Carney weighing in on the Alberta Independence Vote. Then the Approximately 10 Minute Long Quiz discovers the world discovering a Quebecois singing tv show from 40 years ago. If you'd like an Extended Cut that also talks about Poilievre trying and failing to get his political momentum back, check us out on Patreon.

"Move over Alberta, let us show you how it's done." Luke and the Panel (Ian MacIntyre and special guest Chris Chiasson of Toronto The Politics The Show) talk about the Quebec Election Results being almost exactly what we expected, Alberta Separatists Colluding with Republicans to try win their Referendum and the key issues at stake in Toronto's municipal election, at least one of which is: why is Brad Bradford so god damn unsettling?

If you'd like an Extended Cut that also talks about Trump's claim that Canada has been charging secret tariffs only he knows about and the rumours Carney is about win the Nobel Peace Prize, check us out on Patreon.

"We're sorry for... whatever it is your addled brain has decided we did." Luke and the Panel (Clare Blackwood, Nile Seguin and Megan MacKay) discuss Trump's demand for an apology from Canada, Carney revealing he has studied plans to resist a U.S. invasion, and David Eby's election call immediately backfiring. Then the Approximately 10 Minute Long Quiz discovers a creative way to prevent fentanyl overdoses.

If you'd like an Extended Cut that talks about the latest with the Alberta Independence Referendum, check us out on Patreon.

"Standing up to Trump's aggression, one strike bust at a time." Luke and the Panel (Ian MacIntyre and special guest Jocelyn Geddie) talk about Carney using the Trade War to govern even further to the right than Harper, Trump's anger over Canada's non-deal to not join the EU, and his disastrous attempt to import Belarussian Potash. Then the Approximately 10 Minute Long Quiz discovers the shittiest way to win a race.

If you'd like an Extended Cut version that also breaks down the chaos going on inside the B.C. Conservative Party, check us out on Patreon.

We're back baby! Luke and the Panel (Ian MacIntyre and Megan MacKay) recap the Trade War developments that happened during our hiatus, break down Carney's plan to sell Canada for parts and discuss strategies for waiting out Trump until his term ends (or IT happens). Then the Approximately 10 Minute Long Quiz discovers the nerdy thing that Canada is best in the world at.

If you'd like an Extended Cut that also examines Carney's plan to make Canada an "associate member" of the EU, check us out on Patreon.

"I love my country. I just don't like anything about it!" Luke and the Panel (Ian MacIntyre and Janel Comeau) talk about the latest in the Trade War, the debate about whether Conservatives are patriotic enough to stand up to Trump and Carney breaking with Ford over the Billy Bishop airport expansion. Then the Approximately 10 Minute Long Quiz uncovers the latest way billionaires are planning to end Democracy.

If you'd like an Extended Cut that also talks about Netanyahu's visit with Trump, check us out on Patreon.

"We've tariffed everything else!" Luke and the Panel (Ian MacIntyre, Megan MacKay and special guest Diana McCallum) talk about Trump releasing a truly random list of Canadian goods to be tariffed, US politicians showing their whole ass about Canadian wildfires, and Carney caving over the Gordie Howe bridge. Then the Approximately 10 Minute Long Quiz discovers the only downside to cannibalism.

"As long as he gets his cut." Luke and the Panel (Ian MacIntyre and Megan MacKay) talk about the Gordie Howe Bridge deal, Poilievre's fight with members of his own party, and Carney choosing to "engage" with Saudi Arabia's money. Then the Approximately 10 Minute Long Quiz discovers the best map of all time.

If you'd like an Extended Cut version that also talks about the war with Iran version 3.0 check us out on Patreon.

Pipelines! Pipelines! PIPELINES! Luke and the Panel (Clare Blackwood and Ian MacIntyre) talk about Danielle Smith getting not one but two pipelines, Carney saying we don't have time for the environment in the middle of a massive heat wave, and Canada's massive new submarine deal. Then the Approximately 10 Minute Long Quiz discovers the worst way to lose your sunglasses.

If you'd like an Extended Cut that also talks about the most important story of all: Taylor Swift's wedding, check us out on Patreon.

There's one day left in Pride Month so this still counts! Ian MacIntyre (designated ally, he/him) is joined by a special All-Guest Panel: Alix Markman (Astrid & Lily Save The World, Gotham Knights, she/her), Simon Paluck (Insta Gay, Monkey On My Back, he/him) and JP Larocque (North Of North, Sort Of, Small Achievable Goals, they/them). Together they discuss the most relaxing grownup ways to celebrate Pride, scrotum botox aka "scrotox", queer TV icons, and Canada's AI strategy. Then the Approximately 10 Minute Long Quiz questions if 87-year-old Ian McKellan can still safely be near all those X-Men magnets.

If you'd like an Extended Cut that also talks about Mark Carney's renovation of 24 Sussex, check us out on Patreon.