The Bed Head Chronicles

What stories are holding you back?  Find the gift in the struggle.  Yes, we're all going to be hurt.  We're all going to be rejected at some point. 

I, further down the line, just a couple of years ago, called my father.  I said, 'Dad, I want to thank you.  I want to thank you because when you rejected me, it gave me a drive, a determination, a fire that I don't think I would have ever had if you've been the father I dreamed you to be. 

I wanted nothing more than to find out that I was capable and that I could achieve something special.  And that I could make a difference in this world and give back and be a light.  Thank you.  You were exactly the father I needed you to be to become the woman that I'm so proud to be today.’

For the first time in over 20 years, he said he loved me and he said he was proud of me, and that meant everything.

So, for all of you, recognize first off that we – yes, we – are all going to struggle.  There is a gift in every struggle. 

I know it's hard to see it at the time, but if you know that something great is going to come out of every struggle you go through.  That we will learn something about ourselves or learn what we really want in life.  Maybe you got rejected from the job of your dreams, but did that lead you to find out what your true passion is?  Did someone dumped you, and had they not dumped you, you wouldn't be with the person you're madly in love with today? 

Find the gift in the struggle because when you're able to do that – and that's practicing gratitude – when you're able to do that, you will get through the change.  You will get through disruption.  You will get through disappointment and sadness with so much more faith and grace and confidence.

For more tips and advice about living an authentic life go to https://www.sirilindley.com/authentic/

Welcome to the Bed Head Chronicles. 

This morning, I woke up thinking about a mindset shift that changed everything for me as a professional triathlete.  It was in the year 2000 and I had just choked at the Olympic trials.  Choked in that I really was kind of a shoo-in for the Olympic team by the way that I had been racing, and I choked.  I had a horrible race and I ended up just being an alternate for that 2000 Olympic team.  I was absolutely devastated and when we have a disappointment like that, it leads us to reflect on what's working and what's not working. 

That's the gift in any disappointment.

I started thinking about what my mindset was going into these races.  I wanted to make the Olympic team. It was a be all, end all.  I needed to earn a paycheck so I can support this passion of mine.  These things were not driving me or inspiring me in the way that really resonated with me, and thus, it wasn't bringing out the best in me – wasn't serving me. 

I started thinking about how grateful I was for where I was on this journey.  I started the sport at 23.  I didn't know how to swim.  I wanted to be the best in the world.  How crazy is that?  But I had literally worked so hard, trained so hard, done everything in my power to make it to that level which was a high level.  I was an alternate on the Olympic team, but at the time, I'm coming in, you know, top five in the world in major World Cup races, and I thought I really need to appreciate how far I've come at this point in time. 

I started thinking about how grateful I was for my determination and my drive and my hunger, my relentlessness.  And I thought about the quote by Prefontaine, to give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift.  And I thought, "God, I'm so grateful for how far I've come.”  And I thought, "what if every single day in training and especially on race day, I am so desperate to want to show God – so, when I talk about this, you, whatever your belief is – God, the universe, infinite intelligence, you can really do a sweep up for me.  I thought I am so grateful to God for having blessed me with this hunger, this drive, this relentlessness, and the abilities and the opportunities to do what I love and to do what I'm passionate about.  And I thought I need to show -- I was so desperate to show my appreciation, show my gratitude for all these gifts and blessings that I had.  I thought what -- the way that I can show my thanks and appreciation is every day to get out there in and lay everything I have inside me out on the race course or out on the training course.  Whatever it is.  And, in doing that, that's my way of showing thanks. 

So race day would come and all I would ask for from myself is to be able to lay everything I had out there.  Heart, soul, mind, body, spirit – everything I have to show my thanks, to show my appreciation to God for all the wonderful blessings that I feel I've been given: my hunger, my drive, my determination, my relentlessness—all of that. 

That changed everything for me.  That inspired me.  That resonated so deeply inside of me and it brought out the very best in me.  So, that's simple shift in mindset, simple but powerful potent changed everything from you started winning races.  I became the number one athlete in the world and ultimately, I retired at number one in the world in 2003.  So, guys, sometimes think about what your mindset is.  Is it leading to your best performances?  Your best results?  Your happiest life?  Or is it not serving you?  Think about how you can shift your mindset.  Look at things differently.  Reframe something to bring out the best in you.  Just serve you and to serve everything that you're going after your life.  I hope that helps everybody have an amazing day. 

For more tips and advice about living an authentic life go to https://www.sirilindley.com/authentic/

Welcome to the Bed Head Chronicles. 

Yes, I just rolled out of bed.  I've got bed head.  But it doesn't matter what we look like on the outside.  It's about what we have to offer from the inside that matters most. 

Today, I want to talk about relationships, and I want to talk about the love languages.  There's an incredible book by Gary Chapman, The Five Love Languages.  We all have different ways that make us feel loved.  There are people that need quality time, words of affirmation, receiving gifts, physical touch, and acts of service. 

We're all different in what we need to feel truly loved and appreciated. 

So, for me, for example, words of affirmation and quality time.  My wife being fully present with me – no phones, no TV, nothing else going on, but just spending time with two of us together makes me feel so loved and so safe and so sure of our connection. 

Now for her, she's more about acts of service.  She loves having a tidy house, for example.  So, if I keep the house tidy and do little things to make it look clean and comfortable, she feels totally loved.  Now, if I mess up the house she doesn't feel loved at all. 

We all have different ways of feeling loved.  If you can find out what your partner's love language is -- does your wife love getting gifts?  When you give her a gift it means you were thinking about her and you thought of something she might like, and in giving that to her she felt so adored.

Now, that may not be what it takes for you to feel loved.  But if that's what it takes for her to feel loved, do those things.  We often get it wrong because we love people in a way that would make us feel loved.  But that's not necessarily what they need to feel loved.  Figure out your spouse's love language and love them in that way.  And let them know what it takes for you to feel loved and have them love you in that way and your relationship will go to whole new levels. 

We can all have the most incredible relationships, not just with a partner, husband or wife, but with our friends and with our family.  Find out what makes your loved ones feel so adored, so cherished, so celebrated.  Love them in that way and it will forever change your life and change your relationships.  Love is everything, guys.  Nothing feels better than lighting up someone's heart and soul.

For more tips and advice about living an authentic life go to https://www.sirilindley.com/authentic/

Welcome to the Bed Head Chronicles.  I literally have just woken up.  So, excuse the appearance, but as always, one of the reasons why I do these is it's not about what you look like on the outside.  It's about what we have to share from the inside. 

I woke up this morning thinking about a Maya Angelou quote and it is: 'There is no greater agony than burying an untold story inside of you.’

And I think back at my life and there was so much for so long, I didn't feel like I had a voice, and I would say things according to what I thought would make someone happy or please someone.  Or something that I thought I had to say, not necessarily what I wanted to say. 

When we speak from our heart, when we share our truth – that's in harmony with your soul.  That's in harmony with your spirit.  And when we speak our truth, and when we speak authentically -- when we are fearlessly authentic as I often talk about, you're in harmony with their soul.  And that allows you to experience inner peace, which is something that we're all wanting in every moment of our lives.  Being fearlessly authentic, I believe, is the ultimate goal.  It's speaking from your truth, acting truthfully, being who you are.  Because, again, my belief is we were all put on this Earth absolutely perfect just the way that we are. 

And where we get it wrong is when we try to be what we think we need to be to make a certain friend or fit in a certain group or to get a certain job or to be looked upon in a certain way.  No.  Come back to being you -- all of you.  Because when you come from that space, not only do you experience of inner peace, which then allows you to tap into your greatest power, your greatest strength, your greatest inspiration. 

So, be fearlessly authentic.  Tell your story.  Don't hold back inside.  Be in harmony with your soul and celebrate you every single day.  Have a great day everyone.

For more tips and advice about living an authentic life go to https://www.sirilindley.com/authentic/

And welcome to the bed head chronicles.  Bed head at it's worse today.  Today, I want to talk about how a few years ago, Tony Robbins always used to always tell us about your primary question.  What is that question that you ask yourself, like, hundreds of times throughout the day.  Like mine, about 10-15 years ago, was "What's wrong with me?  What's wrong with me?  What's wrong with me?" 

That is not a very empowering question, is it, to ask yourself a thousand times over everyday?  By the way, I'm dragging the field of horse foods with my dogs.  So, I changed my primary question.  Because if you're going to ask yourself a question hundreds of times throughout the day, it should definitely be a question that empowers you; not one that disempowers you. 

So, my new question that I've asked myself over the last 10 years is "Where is the gift in this?"  Where is the gift in this?  In every situation, not matter what -- good things, bad things -- there is a gift.  Something happens that's unexpected or is difficult to get through.  Where is the gift in this?  Well, I'm going to learn from this.  I'm going to grow from this.  I know have a better understanding of this person or this situation.  That kind of a question.  When you ask that a hundred times over every day, it will not only ensure that you're empowered, but that you are truly finding the gift every single day in every moment.  Because in this world, sure you can look around and find things wrong with this world or wrong with the people around you.  But there are just as many wonderful things.  Everything that's right.  You find things that are wrong but you can just as easily find things that are right.

So, I go through my days asking where's the gift in this.   Most of the day, I mean -- the gift is life.  This incredible gift of life -- how beautiful?  How blessed are we that we could live this beautiful life?  We can make it what we want it to be.  So, to all of you, I love you.  Have an amazing day.  Think about that question you ask yourself every single day.  Does it empower you or does it disempower you?  If it's not serving you, then change it.  Change it to something that can surely enhance the experience of your life because life truly is a gift.  Make it wonderful.  Love to all!

For more tips and advice on becoming your most authentic self https://www.sirilindley.com/authentic/

You often hear me talk about your ‘why’ behind what you do every single day.   As an athlete, I had this crazy dream of wanting to be the best in the world in the sport of triathlon, even though I didn’t know how to swim, and I started this sport at the age of 23.  This was crazy.  But my ‘why’ was that I was so desperate to find a love and appreciation and a respect for myself.  And I knew that this process of being afraid but doing it anyway, going out and taking on something that seemed impossible – that through that process, I would not only find myself, but I would start respecting myself and honoring myself for the work that I was putting in; and for never giving up and never giving in.  That ‘why’ – that reason, that purpose, that emotion behind what you’re trying to achieve in your life is what will keep you constantly striving to give everything you have to achieving that goal.  That ‘why’ will help you from giving up.  That ‘why’ will keep you from giving in.  That ‘why’ will be the hunger that you feel that powers you through the fire, every single day.  That ‘why’ is what’s behind you ultimately achieving that goal that you set for yourself.  

Some people ask me, “what if you don’t know what your ‘why’ is?”  And one of the things that I say to them is “what you do want your legacy to be in this lifetime?”  I don’t want to be morbid but think about it.  On your last day of life, what do you want people to remember about you?  What do you want people to be saying about you?  About what they learned from you or what you inspired them about you?  What do you want your legacy to be?  

I want my legacy to be about someone that had a rough start, that never gave up and never gave in, and believed that one day she would find her ultimate strength and a love for herself and then be able to share that message with the world -- empowering others, touching lives with love.  And with strength and compassion.  

So, think about what you want your legacy to be.  That probably will end up with you connecting to your ultimate reason ‘why’ what you’re working so hard to achieve every single day is.  So, discover your ‘why’.  Never give up on your dreams.  Believe in you, and really think about the impact that achieving these goals, achieving these dreams, will have on all those around you.  Good luck everybody.  Shine on and love always.

Today, I want to talk about how life is like an echo. What you send out into the world will come back to you. So, whatever you think, say or do has some domino effect in touching everyone and everything around you. When you look at your life today, what have you been sending out into the world that’s coming back to you? Do you empower yourself on a regular basis? or do you find ways to dis-empower yourself? Because what you give is what you get.

My greatest mentor, Tony Robbins, taught me 20 years ago: ‘Where focus goes, energy flows.’ We get what we focus on. If we focus on what we don’t want or what we feel is lacking within us, we’re going to experience more negativity, more sadness or anxiety. What is wrong is always easily accessible. But also what is right. We can choose what we decide to focus on. The meaning that we give things and experiences, and that can change our entire experience of life. Because what is real and what is possible is what I believe is real and what I believe is possible. Meaning, what you believe is real and what you believe is possible is what’s real and what’s possible in your own life.

So, focus on what you want, not on what you don’t want. Focus on what you love, not on what you fear.

Focus on all the abundance in your life, not on the things that you feel are lacking.

Focus on what you have all the control over, which is your own experience of life, not on the things that you have no control over.

Because when decide to focus on things that will empower us, it will completely change the experience of our lives and our ability to truly live life at the highest levels. So, you’re in charge of your own experience of life. Empower yourself daily by focusing on the things that serve you, not on the things that bring you down. Shine on, everybody. But, most importantly, remember and appreciate and be grateful for the absolutely beautiful, powerful, incredibly inspiring soul that you are. Shine on and have an amazing day.

Today, I want to talk to you about taking care of you.

There’s a reason why on the aeroplanes that when the oxygen masks fall down, they say put it on yourself first before you put it on your children.  We cannot possibly take care of others, give to others, and love others any more than we give and love and take care of ourselves.

I know we often think that if we put ourselves first that’s being selfish, but it’s actually not.

When you put yourself first and take care of you, you’re going to be so much better able to give all of yourself to all those around.

When you take care of your happiness, your joy, your health, your spirit — you have so much more to give. So, in taking care of you, you’re able to better take care of others.

So, I encourage all of you to take time for yourself. The other day I talked about presence. It also means being present with you. Allowing yourself those moments or those blocks of time where you feed your soul or you feed your spirit.
  Whether it’s exercise or walk outside in the fresh air or loving on your animals or loving on yourself in any way – go get a massage, do some meditation, listen to your favorite music, have a bath. But take care of you.

We must take care of ourselves to truly be able to give and love and create in ways we dream of.  So, take that time. Every day, I wake up, I do my gratitude ritual. I have my coffee. I love on my pets. 

 I listen to my favorite music. And I’ll do some kind of a workout to feel alive and energetic. When I’m done with that, I’m able to give with all my heart and give it all my soul.  And I don’t feel like I’m wearing myself down. I feel like I’m feeding my soul, my heart, my happiness and give the energy to be able to get that much more. Put yourself first. Take care of you and have an amazing day.

Today, I want to talk about really taking charge of our experience of life. How many of you have ever said to yourself, ‘I wish my partner was more romantic’ or ‘I wish my friend was more giving.’

Often times we wish for things and we don’t understand that if we step up first and give those things, we’re far more likely to attract it in everyone around us.

If you want more romance, be more romantic. If you want more love, be more loving. If you want more inspiration, be more inspiring. It starts with us. So, whatever you want more of in your life, be that first for others. What you give is what you’ll also receive back.

So, do you like my shirt? It says, “Choose Love.” I choose love every single day, and what I found is that the more I love, the more I give, the more love I receive. The more generosity I received from others. It all starts with us. If you want your husband or your wife to be more romantic, be romantic first. If you want to have more passion, be more passionate. If you want to have more fun in your life, go do things.

Make fun. And invite others to join you in having fun. Don’t sit back and wait for life to happen. We need to create the magic in our own lives. We create it with our thoughts, our focus, our emotions and our actions. So, get out and create the life that you dream of having. We are all in charge of our own experience of life. And what we experience depends on what we’re focusing on, the meaning we give things and choose to do without it. So, choose thoughts that empower you. Choose thoughts that inspire you. And choose thoughts that can truly create magic. No matter what you’re going through on any given day, life is such a beautiful gift. Embrace the gift of life and make it what you hope and dream it to be.

Because you certainly can. You’re in charge of your own experience of life, and it starts with you making it amazing.

Have a great day everybody.

Today, I want to talk about fearless authenticity.

My belief is that we were all put on this planet absolutely perfect just the way that we are.

I think where we get it wrong is that we need to be a certain type of person or do certain things or look a certain way in order to fit into a certain group or get a certain job or make a certain living.

But I honestly believe that is such a mistake because when we find our way back to our truth, to being exactly who we are and living our lives in that way, we certainly step into our truest power.

We are able to be all that we were put on this planet to be – and that’s extraordinary!  Because think about it, we live with ourselves every second of every minute of every hour of every day of every week of every month of every year of every decade.  We better be our own biggest supporters, we better love ourselves because if we don’t, if we lose track of who we are and what we love about ourselves and what we want and who we want to become and what we want to create – what kind of a life is that?

One of the most powerful lessons I’ve learned in my life is that I needed to love and appreciate myself first, before I could ever love, appreciate and inspire, take care of, teach, empower anyone else.

It starts with you.  Everything starts with you.

Be brave enough to recognize the beauty, the power, the perfection that is you exactly as you are and share that with the world.  Share the gift of you with this world.

Those are my words for today. It changed my life.

Be fearlessly authentic.

Believe in you.

Share the gift of you with this world.

And always be brave because you are beautiful.