The Bed Head Chronicles

Welcome to the bed head chronicles. 

Today I want to talk about being able to draw upon past experiences and those moments when you feel overwhelmed, you feel helpless in a way, you feel scared to death about being able to handle something that you're going through, or being able to get through a certain struggle.  And you look at -- all of us have experiences to draw upon.  We all woke up this morning, okay?  We've all had pain.  We've all suffered.  We've all had struggled in our own way.  And all of us have made it out of those dark moments into the light. 

So, we all have proven success that we can get through those hard times.  That we can struggle and we can come out the other side stronger than we ever had before.  And, maybe, you even in -- I'm sure all of you do -- have experiences where you thought something horrible was going to happen, or you thought the result of something was going to be terrible.  But you battled through and you stayed strong, and your intention was just to be the best that you could be in the moment and make the most out of the situation.  And, perhaps, what happened was a brilliant success.  Or an awesome victory.  Or something beautiful that you stumbled upon in doing that.  In laying out that positive intent that you were going to be the best that you could be.  That you're going to make the best out of every situation.  That you're going to find the gift in every struggle.  Perhaps that led to something beautiful in your life. 

So, these are the things we need to draw upon when we're struggling.  These are the things we need to remember.  Remember your past successes no matter how small or how big they are.  I can look back, as I often do, to that world championship win that I had.  I came out of the water in near dead last.  I could have -- I could have decided that this is going to be the worst day of my life.  But instead, I decided to do the best I could with what I had.  To make it an opportunity to see how close I could get to the front.  And on that day, I became a world champion.  The least likely person to become a world champion. 

So, back yourself in those moments of struggle.  Go back to those moments where you were just resilient, and relentless, and you never gave up, and you did your best, and you created a meaning for whatever was happening.  Created a meaning and empowered you, rather than disempowered you -- draw on those moments because that's always inside of you.  You have everything you need inside of you, all the time.  Draw upon the good.  Draw upon those memories, those -- the facts inside of you that empower you, no matter what you're going through. 

Have an amazing day, everybody.

For more tips and advice about living an authentic life go to https://www.sirilindley.com/authentic/

Welcome to the bed head chronicles. 

Today I want to talk about listening.  Some of us may have people in our lives that are going through something that's really hurting them.  Or something they are struggling through.  And, sometimes we may think, "Why can't they get through this?  Why can't they see that they need to do this or they need to do that, and it will relieve them of their pain?"   We want to fix things. 

I think, one of the most healing and transformative things that you can do for someone is to just listen.  Hold them in that space.  Be present for them.  Listen to what is hurting them, what their struggling with, what their worries are, and let them just express what they are feeling.  Just by listening without trying to fix.  Listen without trying to be the hero and make the difference and solve the problem.  Just listening is going to allow them a space to heal and a space to transform.

We don't always have to fix the things that are wrong with our loved ones.  Often times we just need to give them the space to work through it in their own minds, in their own hearts, to just be able to talk about it.  Let's just sit there compassionately listening with love and with care.  And just by providing that support, just by providing that shoulder to lean on, you're providing them a space to heal. 

So, think about that today if someone comes to you with a problem they've had for a long, long time.  I know, for me, I want to get in.  I want to fix it.  I want to provide the perspective that's gonna change everything.  I want to be the hero.  I want the pain to go away.  But, sometimes, all that's needed -- all that they are asking for -- is for you to listen compassionately and with love.  To provide them space where they can heal and transform in their own time.

Have a great day everybody!

For more tips and advice about living an authentic life go to https://www.sirilindley.com/authentic/

Welcome to the bed head chronicles. 

Today, I'm following my amazing athlete on a hard run session.  Yes, it is a beautiful day, but these guys are quite fatigued by this point in time this week.    Some have raced last weekend.  Some just had a big week in training. 

So, what do you do when you've got a big task ahead, but you don't feel great?  You do the best that you can with what you have.  And that's what each and every one of these athletes is doing.  You appreciate.  You trade your expectation for appreciation, as what Tony Robbins says.  And appreciate the fact that you can be out pushing yourself and being the best that you can be.  You appreciate the beautiful view -- this gift of life.

Do the best that you can with what you have at any given moment.  And that's living life to the fullest.  So, everybody, have an amazing day.  It doesn't matter how you feel. 

We can control two things: your effort and your attitude. 

So have a great attitude, put in your best effort, and have an amazing day. 

For more tips and advice about living an authentic life go to https://www.sirilindley.com/authentic/

Welcome to the bed head chronicles.  Today, I want to talk about those moments when we get deeply anxious -- where, even to the point of a panic attack.   

Last night on our chat with our Team Sirius Tri Club, someone asked about what to do when you're having a panic attack on the swim portion of a triathlon.    Now, when I talk about this, this can relate to anything.  This could be when you're having a panic attack at work.  Or whatever it is -- those moments when you get so deeply anxious -- what do you do to pull yourself out of it?

What you don't want to do is focus on the fact that you're feeling this anxiety.  Oh my God, I'm having a panic attack.  Oh my God, this is terrible.  Oh my God, I'm going to die or pass out -- whatever it is.  The more energy you give it, the worse you're going to feel.  It's going to intensify the anxiousness.  It's going to intensify the feeling of panic. 

What I like to think of if this ever happens to me, is if I were standing next to the kid version of myself (because I don't have kids), or if I were standing next to my mom or my wife or somebody that I love with all  my heart, and they were  having a panic attack -- what would I say to them?

Would I say "Oh my God, you're having a panic attack!" and make it worse?  No!  Of course not.  I would turn to them and say you're going to be okay and take a deep breath.  Everything is all right.  I'm right here.  Just take a moment to relax and breathe and think about feeling good again.  Think about things that make you happy.  Think about the fact that you have everything you need inside of you to get through this.  Just remember what the truth is. 

So, when you're getting through these moments, try to find a way to:

1) Breath. 
2) Think about what you would say to someone that you love more than anything in the world if they were going through the same thing that you're going through right now.  Speak to yourself as you would speak to that loved one.  With love.  With calm.  Reminding them of the truth.

So, for those of you with panic on the swim portion of the triathlon, just remember to slow down.  Float on your back.  Take a deep breath.  Remember how strong you are.  Remember how fit you are.  Tell yourself the truth that you're not going to die, you're not going to drown, you just need to relax.  Everything is going to be fine.  You can take a moment to just calm yourself down.  Remind yourself of the truth.  Then, when you feel ready, move forward. 

But, the last thing we want to do when we're having a problem is give that problem more and more energy.  Because as you give it more energy, it gets bigger and stronger and more terrifying.  So, make it smaller.  Breathe.  Remind yourself of the truth.  Focus on solutions, not the problem. 

And, that's a general thing in life.  If you're constantly focusing on whatever your problem is, like -- Oh my God, I can't run hills!  I'm a terrible hill runner.  The more you tell yourself that, you're never going to run well on the hills.  Instead, let's focus on solutions to that problem.  Well, I'll start adding some hill training to my training plan.  I will start focusing on uphill/downhill run form.  I will read about hill running.  I'll watch inspiring hill runners running hilly courses.  Focus on the solutions, not the problem.  And that's going to bring you out of that space and empower you rather than disempower you. 

That will make you feel totally in control of your experience of life and what you can create.  So, I hope that helps everybody know we all get anxious.  We all get nervous.  We all can get to a place where we literally feel like we're panicking.  Love yourself in those moments.  Don't give it energy.  Focus on what you have, not on what you don't have.  So, at that moment, you may not feel like -- you may feel like you don't have control.  Don't focus on that.  Focus on what you do have control over.  I have control over this experience.  I can calm down.  I can breathe.  I can think about how I'm going to get myself out of this and love on myself and remind myself the truth.  Have an amazing day everybody!  And thank you for listening to the bed head chronicles.

For more tips and advice about living an authentic life go to https://www.sirilindley.com/authentic/

Welcome to the bed head chronicles. 

So, this morning, I want to talk about how expectations can kill us.  In the year 2000, I was preparing for the Olympic trials in Sydney, Australia.  I had set a goal that every single day, I was going to visualize the entire race from start to finish.  Visualize the perfect race of me executing beautifully every moment and crossing the line, winning the race and making the US Olympic team.  Every night I went through this visualization process of the perfect race for 365 days.   

On the day of the Olympic trials, the gun went off, I dove into the water, and within 15 seconds I had been dunked into the water, kicked in the face and I lost the front pack.  This was not in my visualization.  I didn't know how to respond.  I didn't know what to do.  I hadn't prepared for this.  And I completely choked.  I was swimming harder than I ever had, but I'm going backward.  I got on the bike and I felt I was biking harder than I ever had before, and I'm going backward.  People are passing me.  It ended up being an absolute disaster.

The incredible lesson here was that when you visualize -- whether it's for a race, a meeting, a date, whatever it is -- yes, you need to visualize things going great, but you also want to visualize things going wrong and see yourself overcoming these challenges.  Overcoming these challenges with grace, with composure, with confidence, and seeing yourself on the other side.  It is important to understand that things will never be "perfect". 

My race, when I became the world champion, I came out of the water in near dead last.  Now, had I visualized the perfect race and thought that in order to be a world champion, I need to have a perfect race from start to finish.   I would have never continued fighting on that day.  But, instead, I decided "Okay.  I'm in a crap position right now.  I'm just going to put my head down and go as hard as I can and see how close I can get to the front."  And, on that day, I became a world champion. 

My choking in the Olympic trials in 2000 has helped me understand that in life, yes, we want to be able to visualize things going great and achieving our ultimate goal.  But we also need to anticipate things going wrong and build up the confidence also in our visualization of seeing something going wrong but seeing ourselves handling it with grace.  Handling it with composure.  And coming out the other side and succeeding.  It's so very important.  Expectations kill. 

If we think that everything needs to go perfectly to get the result we're looking for, we're never going to make it.  Because you're going to fail.  You're going to be disappointed.  You're going to make mistakes.  So, all you can do is prepare to manage those situations in the best way possible.  So, the only expectation I have for myself, which I encourage all of you to have the same, is to do the best that I can with what I have in every moment.  That's all we can expect.  That's all we can do.  And it will change your life because then you'll always know that you can achieve that ultimate result.  It may not be pretty, but you're going to learn from your mistakes.  You're going to handle them with composure and with grace.  You're going to overcome those challenges, come out stronger on the other side, and be committed to being the best that you can to create the result that you're looking for. 

I hope that helps everyone have an amazing day and embrace your bed head, too. 

For more tips and advice about living an authentic life go to https://www.sirilindley.com/authentic/

Welcome to the bed head chronicles. 

Yesterday I spoke about perspective.  Today, I want to elaborate on that as I was thinking about yesterday's session with my athletes and they were absolutely crushing it.  Basically, I was giving them goals that were way beyond what they thought they were capable of.  But, for me, my perspective as a coach -- I can see their potential.  And I can make a really educated guess as to how fast they are able to run given them being willing to suffer.  Them being willing to give it everything they have.  And them being willing to consider the possibility that they are much more capable than they think they are.  And they all, absolutely, crushed it. 

Now, it hurt, because they were going harder than they were before, faster than they were before -- so it hurt.  But, what if, the meaning of that pain was that this going fast, this pain means that I'm crushing it?  Does this pain mean that I'm having my best run ever?  What if, say, for instance, you're in a relationship or a marriage, even, and you're going through some trying times when you're having some pretty deep conversations.  You're having some arguments.  What if this wasn't the beginning of the end?  What if this was your relationship going to all new levels of depth and commitment?  What if those arguments, those deep conversations are what is going to deepen the bond between you and your partner, and take your relationship to all new levels of happiness, joy, depth of love, etc. 

The meaning we give things can totally, not only affect our experience of life, or our experience of a certain relationship, but it can also affect the decisions that we make in response to that.  So, back to the athlete example, say they're in a race and they're hurting so badly.  Now, if they take the meaning, "I'm hurting.  I must be having a horrible day," they will probably back off and have a horrible day.  Exactly what they're looking for.

But, if they're hurting and they say "Yes!  This is what I need to feel to know that I'm crushing it today.  That I'm having my best run, my best race."  That is going to lead them to probably having their best run and their best race.

Now, back to the relationship example, say you're having some deep, meaningful conversations with your partner, and you're having some arguments.  Well, if you thought, "Oh. It's the beginning of the end."  Then, you're probably  -- the relationship's just going to get worse and worse.  Then you're going to hit that moment, maybe, where you decide to call it off. 

But, if you look at that argument, that deep and meaningful conversation that you're having with your partner as being something that is going to lead you to a better understanding of one another.  To a deeper relationship, a stronger bond, a deeper love, you will see your relationship blossom into something more than you could ever imagine.  The meaning we give things can completely change our experience of life, and most importantly, the decisions that we make that can either empower us or disempower us.   

So, pay attention to that.  And as you go through your day, think about the things that you say to yourself and the meaning that you're giving it.  Is the meaning serving you or serving your relationship?  Or is it hurting you?  Choose the empowering meaning.  Choose to set yourself up for not only your best day but your best relationship as well.

For more tips and advice about living an authentic life go to https://www.sirilindley.com/authentic/

Welcome to the bed head chronicles. 

This morning, I want to talk about perspective and how we all have a certain way of looking at things, the meaning we give things -- and sometimes we can get really upset if someone else doesn't share our perspective.  But it's very important for us to always consider all the possibilities of what something could mean to anyone around you.

I guess, for example, realizing that I was gay.  It took me 23 years to come to terms with the fact that I was gay.  And for a lot of other people that have the same experience, it's the same thing.  It takes a long time to come to terms with that.  Yet, when we tell our families, our parents, our friends, it's like we expect them to be okay with it right away. 

What if we look at it from their perspective?  Like, it's taken us this long to come to terms with it.  We have to, at least, allow some time for them to be able to work their way through it.  To come to terms with it.  I know that's frustrating, especially when you finally have the courage to come out.  But we all need to understand that everybody has a process that in coming to terms with something.  And we need to allow that for our loved ones.  Not just in that situation, but in any situation. 

So, having perspective -- I often think to -- and this can apply to you whether you believe in God or the universe or whatever it is.  But when I look at a situation or a person that may have upset me, I try to look at it -- I try to say to myself, "How would God be seeing this?  Or how would the universe be seeing this?"  And see it in a way "OK.  This person is in pain.  This person has been hurt that's why they're reacting this way."  They could have taken what I said in this way rather than in the way that I meant it. 

And, when you think about all different perspectives, you then are able to deal with the situation or come into the situation from a different way of thinking.  And, often times, that can create peace in a situation where there wasn't any.  It can create love where there might not have been that flavor before. 

But perspective is very important because I truly do believe that as humans, we are all innocent.  We all have had experiences.  We're all going through life.  We are all going through our separate journeys.  And we have to love and respect everyone around us considering that.  So, try to look at the world through a lens of goodness.  Try to look at the world through a lens of love.  And try to look at the world through a lens of compassion.  And, I'm sure, that will forever, not only change the way you look at all those around you, but will increase the quality of your life to one that's loving, kind, compassionate, and at peace with what our hearts really want us to be. 

So, thank you, everybody!  Have an amazing day.

For more tips and advice about living an authentic life go to https://www.sirilindley.com/authentic/

Welcome to the bed head chronicles. 

Today, I'm going to include my amazing athletes, and we're going to talk about the single most important thing.    And they're used to my bed head.  I show up this way every single day.  The single most important thing that they tell themselves to get the most out of themselves every single day -- to be the best they can be every day.  Better than they were the day before. 

What does that take?  I'm going to start here, first, with Alissa. 

Alissa:  I think it's to take it one thing at a time.  One work at a time, then one minute at a time at a workout, or at an interval or session.  Just break it up so it doesn't feel big.

Siri:  Awesome.  So, stay in the moment, basically?

Alissa:  Yeah.  Every single moment in each thing -- it makes it, not easier, but more memorable.

Siri:  I love it.  Maricarmen!

Maricarmen:  To always stay focused on your goal.  It doesn't matter what you're feeling right now at this moment, knowing that it's going to pass.  Once you overcome what seems impossible or extremely painful, on the other side there's going to be greatness. 

Siri:  Awesome.  Salty, well done!  So, guys, this is what it means to freakin' go for it.  Awesome!  Troy!

Troy:  Being relentless and being in the moment.  It means to give your best effort and your best attitude in anything and everything that happens in your way.  So, just stay focused and be relentless all the way. 

Siri:  Awesome!  Does that mean, Troy, basically, no judgment?  You cannot judge yourself in every moment, okay?  Because then you're saying "Am I good enough?  Or am I not good enough?"  You're always good enough.  Okay?  You put in the effort, stay in the moment, stay connected to your goal and be true to you.  The ultimate goal is being the best that you can be every single day.  Captain Salty?  Anything you want to say?  What do you tell yourself every single day to ensure that you are the best YOU you can be?  What's your focus?

Ellie:  Today is my day. 

Siri:  Yeah!  I love it.  We're going to end on that you guys.  "Today is my day!"  Every day, right?

Ellie:  Yeah. 

Siri:  Boom.

For more tips and advice about living an authentic life go to https://www.sirilindley.com/authentic/

Welcome to the bed head chronicles. 

People often ask me, how do you have the courage to get on social media with your hair all over the place, no makeup, just getting out of bed? 

I am proud of the woman I am today, and I have someone I want to thank for that -- Tony Robbins has been my single, most powerful, beautiful mentor.  He's changed my life in every way.    And Tony Robbins has given his life to this world, going around and inspiring millions of people, empowering millions of people.  He's the ultimate force for good.  The ultimate force for God.  The ultimate force for -- a beacon of light.

Today, my heart broke because Buzzfeed News -- a guy named Gary King --  have put out this piece of false reporting.  It breaks my heart because they're trying to bring down one of the most beautiful gifts that God has given this world, this Earth, this planet.  Everyone who knows the impact that Tony Robbins has not only had on my life but millions of other lives by giving his heart unconditionally, selflessly -- he has been a beacon of light for the last 40 years for me.  Please, everyone, share the truth.  The video that holds the truth of the woman of this intervention that Buzzfeed talks about -- the woman is actually on sharing a video on how he has touched her life in the most beautiful way, and how he changed her life for the better.  Everybody, truth is power.  Tony Robbins -- the light will cast out the darkness. 

Stuff like this, guys, it happens.  People will say untrue things about people that are only bringing good into this world.  Why?  Why are they doing that?  I can't answer that but what I do know is that Tony Robbins, being the brightest light that I have ever known, is going to cast out this darkness and something beautiful and something amazing are going to come out of this because that's the kind of man that he is.  Tony, I stand by you.  Everyone, share the truth.  #IStandByTony #TruthIsPower #LightWillCastOutDarkness. 

I love you, Tony.  I thank you.  You're a beacon of light.  You are amazing and the truth will come out.  Everyone, have an amazing day and in doing that share the truth.  Thank you.

For more tips and advice about living an authentic life go to https://www.sirilindley.com/authentic/

Welcome to the bed head chronicles. 

Today, I want to talk about the parts of ourselves that we're not necessarily proud of.   I know I often talk about being our best selves, being better than we were the day before.  And, I think, often, what we want to try and do is just suppress or hide away those parts of ourselves that make us feel some kind of a shame, or we know that it's not our best self.

But, I'm encouraging you to be thankful for those parts of yourself because those aspects of who you are act as a teacher for you.  It acts as a guide for you so you can truly step into your magnificence, your greatness, your power, your strength.  If we don't know the things that can potentially get in our own way, as we try to be our best selves,  how can we know what we really want to be?

So, rather than pushing those parts of yourself -- I know now the things that I used to be most ashamed of have actually been my greatest strength because these things have taught me what I don't want to be.  It has guided me to what I am now.  Use those aspects of yourself to light the path to your most powerful light. 

I talked in another episode about worthy opponents.  People that may have hurt you, or frustrated you, or people at a time in your life that was very difficult -- and when you look back, you can see that they were actually your worthy opponent.  They stretched you to become something more.  They brought you to a new place in your life.  You found your strength through your struggle.   

So, when I look back at my anxiety, and how at a time I just let that overcome me with OCD nearly took my life away from me, I can recognize that part of me that gets so anxious -- that part of me that can feel overwhelmed.  And I embrace that part of me.  And I look upon that as a gift because I know that everything I do every day is to make sure that I don't let that influence me, hold me back, or slow me down.  Or get in my what of what I hope to be or hope to give or what I hope to accomplish.   

So, that part of me, I consider a teacher, a guide, a light; and it helps me be the best me by knowing that is there and inspiring me to be so much than that.  I hope this helped.  I hoped this made sense.  But embrace every aspect of who you are; you are absolutely perfect just the way that you are.  And, like in life, we put in tough times.  Times that challenge us.  But those times always make us stronger.  Those times always lead to something better.   They always stretch us to become something more, something we can be so proud of, something that we can share with the world as a gift. 

Have a great day.

For more tips and advice about living an authentic life go to https://www.sirilindley.com/authentic/