Bumble’s first ever earnings report reveals it’s pivoting from finding you true love to finding you a friend. Bitcoin plummeted 15% because Elon’s on the hunt for the Tesla of crypto. And Hertz stock miraculously rebounded 50% this week after it pulled off the most unique bankruptcy we’ve ever seen (but you still can’t rent a Corolla this weekend under $2K).

 $BMBL $BTC $ETH $TSLA $HTZGQ

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Party City knows you didn’t love Becky’s Zoom baby shower, so it’s betting the future on balloons (literally, Balloon Bouquets). Bird tossed off its helmet and is going public via SPAC. And Japanese venture capital firm SoftBank has a 300-year investment timeline and just delivered a bigger profit than Amazon… with just 1 asterisk.

$PRTY $BIRD $SWBK $SFTBY

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Roblox jumped 21% because kids want Robux for their birthday. Macy’s was so close to bankruptcy it should be nursing itself back to health, but instead it’s going BIG in New York City real estate. And stocks just dropped because of inflation worries that can all be explained by a chicken and a rooster.

$RBLX $M $TSN

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Concert legend Live Nation has become a slingshot stock with a new calling: Make concerts make money like sports. Darkside is the cyberhacking ransomware crew that may have just jacked up your gas prices. And Blind raised $37M for an office gossip app that your HR team hates so much… they just might pay for it.

$LYV $NET $PANW $UL

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Wondering what happened to Quibi? Roku bought ‘em... and now the little dongle that could is in 54M homes. Papa John’s just defied every carby expectation thanks to Epic premium-ized pizza (literally). And Oura raised $100M for a fitness tech ring with a formula for scalability.

 $PZZA $ROKU

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If you thought your 1st Uber ride in a year felt more expensive… it was (Uber’s $20B in quarterly bookings were its best ever). Honest Co jumped 44% on its IPO, but influencers have become its greatest strength... and its greatest threat. And Moderna was told it may have to make an unprecedented move: Share its vaccine recipe with other chefs.

$HNST $UBER $MRNA

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We have 2 ideas for how iRobot can make itself over, because its Roomba vacuum isn’t living its best life. The Cadillac Escalade borrowed a strategy from the airlines (and that’s why GM’s stock jumped 4%). And Facebook’s mysterious Oversight Board just made a no-decision on the Trump ban, so we’re examining the Board.

$IRBT $GM $FB $TWTR

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Ferrari doesn’t want to dilute its brand, so it whipped up a (literally) hidden profit puppy. Bitcoin’s dropping, Dogecoin’s surging, but Ethereum is now the most actively used crypto of them all. And Pfizer revealed a shocking ~$1B profit in the vaccine, but it’s all because of its First & Fancy strategy.

 $ETH $RACE $PFE

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We noticed a funny thing about Estée Lauder’s cosmetics earnings: It’s not a makeup company anymore. Yahoo and AOL just got dumped by Verizon for $5B, so we’re doing a relationship autopsy. And Fortnite is taking on Apple in the App Store Fight Club.

 $EL $VZ $APO $AAPL

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LSD and magic mushrooms are now publicly traded because MindMed’s psychedelics found a trend. Sony’s whipping up Playstations to become the arms dealer in the Streaming Wars. And McDonald’s fried chicken sandwich just got the CIA treatment.

$MNMD $SONY $MCD

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