The Big D

This is a personal one for me. Yes, all the episodes are personal but this one involves some of my own grief. This episode is the Ultimate D, a title bestowed by my guest, one of my close friends, Zach. The ultimate D being death. Last year, my friend and Zach's wife Tarin, died.

In this episode, Zach shares his love story, and about his grief, we talk about what it’s like to be alone, after having the future you hoped for erased. And, we talk about what healing has looked like for him.

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Zach was born and raised in the Eastern Townships of Quebec, but now calls Toronto home. As part of his resetting of his life, he is just in the process of launching a brand new travel company called Dinosaur Trips that specializes in dinosaur and paleontology-based experiences to destinations around the world. Maybe this will be the first job he's had that he identifies as part of who he is, but maybe not. We'll see. The main things he cares about are music, movies, books, pop culture in general, and sports. Plus friends and family, because of course. And he has a dog named Dixie and a Montreal Canadiens-centric podcast called The Montreal Bias that may or may not come back at some point soon. Listen on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or anywhere else.

In this episode I talk to Chris Lafazanos, a celebrant or officiant, and ceremony guide, about her own love and divorce story, how she created a divorce ceremony for herself. We do a deep dive into all the ways the hetero, white supremacist, capitalist, colonial patriarchy builds up marriage, to warp our perspective, experiences, and ultimately set us up for failure. Even how these systems define and put a value judgement on what 'failure' means. Most importantly we talk about all the beautiful things we can create together to make up for lost, broken, or missing ceremony. Alone, with our current or past partners, and our community. Throw in a few references to astrology, cultural appropriation, and being so, so happy to be queer.

Join The Big D community by supporting on Patreon or following along on Instagram!

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As a ceremony guide, Chris Lafazanos (she/her) supports people in creating meaningful, story-filled ceremonies that are either non-religious or spiritual to mark life’s important milestones like weddings, memorials, child welcoming ceremonies and divorce ceremonies. She’s passionate about how ceremony builds individual and community resilience as it creates opportunities for connection—to both celebrate together and grieve together. As a queer person, Chris is focused on serving fellow 2SLGBTQ in ceremony. For more information, check out woven-threads.ca

Hello everyone, I’ve missed you.

This is a special bonus episode of The Big D, a crossover with Sister On!

In this episode I'm joined by sister one-of-two, Nat Davey, to talk about reframing divorce. How can we put this painful process in a new light and learn to choose ourselves over relationships? We each share pivotal moments where our understanding and approach to the divorce has changed - Nat, 10+ years out, and me, 1.5.

About Sister On!

“Why did he cheat on you?”

“B!tch, you tell me!”

This is the season one finale, featuring Bee Quammie, a musical performance by POESY, and MC'd by Bailey Greenspon. Recorded on December 14th at Reid’s Distillery.

In this episode we talk about infidelity, honouring our anger, and terrible first dates. Bee gets into the writing of her own story, choosing a better life, what it means to evolve, and truly embodying being full of herself. Not to mention, manifesting her dreams like - ABRACADABRA!

Stay ready for Season 2 in Fall 2022.

Live audio and recording by Kevin Scott. Event produced by me, Miranda.

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Bee Quammie is a writer, radio host, and public speaker. From her first blog, ‘83 To Infinity, focusing on natural hair care, health and wellness, arts and culture, to The Brown Sugar Mama, a blog focused on motherhood from the perspective of a Black Canadian Mom, to her bylines in The Globe and Mail, Chatelaine, Men's Health, Macleans, Refinery29 and Zora (which I love), she’s no stranger to the written word. Bee is no stranger to using her voice, she was also host of the Kultur’d Show on AM640 for three years. You can watch Bee regularly on CBC and CTV’s The Social - but no, she doesn’t stop there. In addition to parenting her two daughters, Bee is engaged In the community, she participates as a mentor in programs for young girls and women of colour, and hosts events surrounding feminism in film, and other events the celebrating natural hair, and diversity in media.

This is my divorce story.

In this episode, my oldest and closest friend Rachel interviews me. We reminisce about meeting in high school, and chat about getting married young and navigating trauma, how I owned my sexuality within my marriage, bell hooks, and what I want for myself in the future. We also check on Justin Bieber's trust issues.

Content warning: Medical trauma, abortion.

In this episode I chat with my pals Maria and Julia at Matinée podcast about the tropes, types, ins and outs of divorce movies, and all the sub-genres - revenge movies, single dad movies, and all the iterations of eating, praying and loving under the tuscan sun. We do a bit of a deep dive into Kramer Vs. Kramer and How Stella Got Her Groove Back. Which leads to the story of how I, your host Miranda, got spat on by Taye Diggs. What do you think? Which are your fave divorce movies and do you relate to them?

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Matinée with Maria and Julia is a podcast where they rewatch films that were formative for them... and see how they hold up. Listen on all services where you get your podcasts.

This is bonus content from episode eight "But no man is ever worth the paradise manifest" in conversation with my guest Alicia Mathlin aka Meditation Pusher.

We chat about how mindfulness can be useful in healing from a breakup, and Alicia shares an exercise you can do on your own time to focus on self-forgiveness.

"But no man is ever worth the paradise manifest"

Put on your peppermint oil and get ready! We’re about to get a masterclass on healing through mindfulness and being present in relationships.

I chat with my friend Alicia Mathlin aka Meditation Pusher- a self described child of divorce - about the lack of representation in fairy tales, self-compassion, self-denial, tenderness… this episode has something for everyone! We talk about being mindful in dating after a break-up, and advocating for yourself in the context of a relationship too, especially long term. There are plenty of belly laughs - and a surprise twist in her own love story.

“I want you to unmarry me”

The pandemic was declared the same week Tina and her ex moved into separate houses. Her kids entered a custodial agreement the same week they got sent home from school in the lockdown. We chat about dealing with your own shit so you don’t pass it onto your kid, sitting with your own feelings, and your kids’ feelings, becoming the ‘fun mom’ and deserving to be happy - not by merit - but for being a human.

This is the final episode in a three-part series on co-parenting.