The Bind with Greg Flynn

I had a bunch of notes on what I was going to talk about today, but wasn't really feeling any of it. Instead, I decided to talk about the pace that we are moving. What pace can we do this work? Work that is often about healing, about connecting to ourselves, about stepping into a different way of operating.

Makes sense that maybe we'd do that from a slightly different pace than what we typically experience, yeah?

So, today I started with actually checking in—something I pretty much always do in my groups. It felt a bit odd doing a 'one sided' check in, if I'm being honest. Maybe you can help balance it out by checking in with yourself.

As always, I'd love to hear how this lands for you. Don't hesitate to reach out and let me know.

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Credits: 🎶 by Alex Weinstein at Alex Weinstein Music

What’s the vision of masculinity that you received as you were growing up? Odds are, it’s not actually attainable.

In this episode, I chatted with a friend I made when I (admittedly a bit embarrassingly) played around with the audio app Clubhouse for a bit a few years back. Jeff Perera has been working on masculinity issues for over ten years. His analogy of the ‘ladder of masculinity’ is one of the best ways I’ve heard to describe what men in today’s world face (The guy is a master of stories and analogies).

We explore his ladder, as well as the role shame plays in it. It’s a big one.

How does this land for you? What ideas about masculinity come up for you as you listen?

As always, I’d love to hear. Shoot me an email at [email protected]. I’d love to connect.

Hey guys: sign up for Step Zero!

If you’re a guy who isn’t quite ready to take the step of joining a men’s group or getting into coaching, this is the thing for you.

📆 10 days
📪 5 emails
🕺 Your terms

Some links for things mentioned in today’s episode:

Higher Unlearning - Jeff’s website chock full of wonderful resources—from articles to videos to talks to podcasts. Check it out!

Saying ‘9 out of 10 men are good men’ feels good to ‘good men’, but is it good enough? - one of my favorite videos of Jeff’s. It’s well done and will get you thinking. Part of his “Behind the Masc” series.

Jeff on Instagram

Higher Unlearning on Instagram

Credits: 🎶 by Alex Weinstein at Alex Weinstein Music

Finally! I was excited that Weston and I were able to get this time set aside to dive into this conversation (especially since he’s taking a month away to enjoy the desert of Southern California).

Weston created Let’s Get Real, Bro, a game to help men step into deeper, more meaningful conversations. We explore a bit about how the game came to be, why it is that men might want (or not want) to play it, as well as some sneaky strategies to use to reduce some of the ‘risk’ involved.

And there’s more. Much more!

Let me (and Weston!) know how this lands for you. And buy a game. Link is below!

Hey guys: sign up for Step Zero!

If you’re a guy who isn’t quite ready to take the step of joining a men’s group or getting into coaching, this is the thing for you.

📆 10 days
📪 5 emails
🕺 Your terms

Some links for things mentioned in the episode:

Let’s Get Real, Bro

LGRB on Instagram 

LGRB on Facebook 

LGRB on TikTok 

Men Healing - for male survivors of sexual violence

Credits: 🎶 by Alex Weinstein at Alex Weinstein Music

Well, I was hoping to have a guest for you this week. Ah well, wasn’t meant to be, I guess. Soon, though, I promise!

In the meantime, I wanted to take another look at the idea that “we are conditioned to live in tiny boxes.” What do I mean by that? And what don’t I mean?

Inspired by a bit from Sophie Strand’s brilliant book The Flowering Wand: Rewilding the Sacred Masculine, I explore a bit about how while not bad, our boxes can be limiting. There’s a lot more to life than we even realize is possible.

Hey guys: sign up for Step Zero!

If you’re a guy who isn’t quite ready to take the step of joining a men’s group or getting into coaching, this is the thing for you.

📆 10 days
📪 5 emails
🕺 Your terms

Check it out here

Links for some stuff mentioned in the episode:

An excerpt of Sophie Strand’s new book: The Flowering Wand published on the Science and Non-Duality site
Sophie Strand and Bayo Akomolafe speaking on the Science and Non-Duality site
King Warrior Magician Lover by Robert Moore and Doug Gillette - This is a book that is found all over the world of “men’s work”. It holds some interesting, if deeply limiting trurths. More on this in a future episode. Welcome to Wrexham trailer - a nice documentary about two Hollywood actors buying a Welsh football club

Credits: 🎶 by Alex Weinstein at Alex Weinstein Music

Well, it’s live! Step Zero, my free 10-day email program for men who are looking to make some changes, but aren’t quite ready to step into a men’s group. I hope you’ll consider checking it out—and/or sharing it with guys in your life.

I’m excited!

In this episode, I also talked about the fifth, and final, foundation of this work, and it’s one that might be surprising to some folks. That’s all I’m going to say about it here. I hope you’ll give it a listen!

Let me know how it lands for you. You know I love to hear! You can always reach me at [email protected].

Some links from stuff mentioned in the show:

The Bind Episode 5 with Jordan Guido Ferretti 

A bit about Jordan 

Let’s Get Real, Bro, a great game for men who want to dip their toe in connecting with vulnerability

Credits: 🎶 by Alex Weinstein at Alex Weinstein Music

This is a bit of a shorter one and was recorded almost immediately after getting home from some challenging travel. I decided I wanted to share a bit about a different type of bind - the feeling of being bound up within.

Perhaps better put as the experience of not having a whole lot of internal space. Anyway, I shared a bit about how that works in me, and some practices that I use when I'm navigating that kind of experience (and, you can imagine, I used on the trip I was just on).

Oh, and I had a cider.

Questions? Want some support in finding some space yourself? Hit me up: [email protected]

Credits: 🎶 by Alex Weinstein at Alex Weinstein Music

Today I continued down the path of the five “foundations” of the work, taking a look at number four. This one may be the trickiest of them all, and it may be the one that most folks think, “this doesn’t feel relevant”

I get that, believe me. And for some, you may want to come back to this. And I’d encourage you to give it a listen.

What is the fourth foundation? It’s that we must include the whole of our positionality in our work. What does that mean? Well, dive in and find out. :-)

I’d love to learn about how this lands for you, and what questions emerge for you when listening. Shoot me an email!

Links to things mentioned in the episode

Seattle Men’s Circle! - Starting this month, on the fourth Monday of the month, Jordan Ferretti (see Episode 5) and I will be co-facilitating a men’s circle for guys in the Seattle area. Come join us! Get real, make friends.

Holistic Resistance - these folks are my teachers and mentors in anti-oppression work. I’ve learned a ton from all of them.

Disrupting Our Practice Workshops - I didn’t mention this, so this is a little easter egg to anyone reading these notes. My colleague Shannon and I are doing these workshops for folks interested in grappling with being white-bodied, and controlling space. Check them out!

Credits: 🎶 by Alex Weinstein at Alex Weinstein Music

Happy New Year! I hope that you had a restful and easeful holiday season, no matter what you do—or don’t do—to celebrate. And I recognize that, well, for many it’s not a restful or easeful time of year. No matter, I hope you’re well.

I decided to drop back into the foundations in a non-linear way. As non-linear as it gets.

So, we discussed the body, and why it’s an important component for men doing healing work (I mean, it’s important for anyone doing healing work, but you get my drift).

After recording this, I realized that I should probably note that I’m not a therapist, let alone a trauma specialist. I’m a student of this work, and have brought aspects of it into the work that I do, always with that caveat. If you’re in need of real trauma therapy, please do find an expert. If you’re in Seattle, I may have a lead or two for you.

Links for some things mentioned in the episode:

The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk - A remarkable book on Trauma and the way it impacts us. It’s dense, but made very accessible. My apologies to Bessel for butchering your name in the recording!

Core Energetics - a somatic and energy modality for healing. It’s a powerful, if challenging, way to engage with our earliest wounds.

Waking the Tiger by Peter Levine - a great introduction to Somatic Experiencing, the modality created by Peter Levine.

Resmaa Menakem - a trauma therapist and anti-oppression educator in Minneapolis, MN. His work, Somatic Abolitionism, brings trauma work to the space of anti-racism.

Credits: 🎶 by Alex Weinstein at Alex Weinstein Music

As we move into the end-of-the-year, I decided that I wanted to come into this episode (mostly) without a plan, and to simply share some things that were alive for me. Fair warning (not to mention content warning), I do mention suicide.

The loss of Stephen ‘tWitch’ Boss last week really impacted me, and got me thinking a lot about how the first three foundations of this work (explored over episodes 2–4) really interweave with one another.

As we’re in the darkest time of year—certainly with the least amount of sun, though dark in other ways for many—it’s all the more important to reach out for one another.

I wanted to offer a brief meditation this time around to help us all focus in on our true, organic selves. You don’t have to be a guy to do it!

Many thanks to everyone who listens to this podcast, and to those who have written me with reflections, thoughts, and questions. I so appreciate you all.

I’m taking next week off to rest. See you in January!

If you’ve never seen him dance, I highly recommend this performance by tWitch and Alex Wong

Credits: 🎶 by Alex Weinstein at Alex Weinstein Music

I’m super excited to introduce you to my good friend Jordan Guido Ferretti. He brings an amazing perspective to this work—as a martial arts instructor (and a black belt), a facilitator of men’s circles, a visual artist, and more.

We dive into looking at the binds that we often find ourselves in as men, what it means to really feel the bind, as well as to visualize it (something that works well for Jordan).

What if, he asks, both sides of the bind have value? What if everything in my (and, ahem, your) inner world is trying to help in some way?

All of that and more in this episode.

Check out Jordan’s stuff below. And look out for info on in-person sessions that we’ll be hosting together in 2023!

How does this land? What moves in you? Shoot me an email at [email protected] or on Instagram at men.connecting.

Links for stuff mentioned in the episode:

The Reckoning - Jordan’s new project, launching January 1st. A free newsletter—and art project—that will help guide you into your own process. Every Sunday, starting January 1st.

Team Builder Dojo - Jordan’s business where he does the work with men. You can learn more about him there.

Credits: 🎶 by Alex Weinstein at Alex Weinstein Music