Talking about relationships and the Capitol of the USA? Yes,  I am going there and you won't want to miss it!

What do Angelina Jolie, Prince Harry, and Meghan Markle all have in common? They broke some seriously toxic bonds when they decided to put their needs and wants first. Let's talk about the reality of changing who you are because you're going through a major life event and why some people may NOT be able to handle it. 

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"If I just say yes, things can stay the same" is a phrase too many women (and men) say to themselves in messy relationships. This is a strategy that will have you engaging in all kinds of drama. Your life is not supposed to be this dramatic. Find out why in this episode. 

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This may be one of the worst plotlines of everyday life but it sure made for a great song! Kelly Clarkson exalted the idea that there is a strength that comes from the painful death of heartbreak. Well, I call foul. In this episode, see why this idea is only great for pop songs and moving plots but is NOT the way to live a real life. 

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Welcome back to Season 2! Same great content, slightly shorter name. First up, 5 truths to embrace on the road to Liberation Day. Are you struggling with the guilt that comes from feeling good that your new life is coming? Listen in as I plot a course away from that and into a new, happy life. 

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Hello and welcome to the last episode for season 1! No worries, Season 2 is around the corner. 

In this episode, I introduce the new book (Who Did You Love? 4 Faces of Narcissism) and the concept of the Court of Fools. Think you know all about the layer of narcissism? Well, I've got some insights for you!

Also, in this episode we talk all about getting out of the spiral of just surviving, why you need to be more like Cardi B, and how to put a timeframe on bad (but necessary!) choices. All that AND a heartfelt THANK YOU for being here for Season 1. 

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It is one of those unfortunate realities of getting into coupledom: we lose friends and sometimes they are the very friends we need when that coupledom falls apart. Alas, there is not much we can do about what has been lost but we have to move forward.

As you move through the process, YOU will find that you need different people now. Some friends will be there on the other side but many will not. It will be hard to make that transition in the moment but it will be easier as time moves on.

You might be tempted to cling (HARD) to those friends who do stick around but you have to allow them to breathe and support in their own way and open yourself to other people to step in and help you transition into your new reality.

How you can cope:

Friends are our lifeline through so many things. Getting a new tribe after divorce is essential for your mental health and happiness. That’s it for this episode.

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Money is not the word that a lot of couples talk about constructively. They fight about it. They use it as a bargaining chip or a negotiation tool. But, they rarely talk about the concept of their own economy as a couple or as individuals in the relationship. Once divorce is on the table, too many realize that the fights, stress, and tension around money prevented them from taking hold of their finances and financial world, and, now, they are scrambling to figure things out.

What do I mean by personal economy? I am glad you asked!

In an economy, the production and consumption of goods and services are used to fulfill the needs of those living and operating within it.

Production: what do you produce? What do you want to produce? Food, clothing, lifestyle, etc.

Consumption: what do you consume? What do you want to consume? Quality and quantity (basic life skills, cooking, cleaning, sewing, car maintenance, etc. or ways to affect those things)

Goods: The nuts and bolts of the life you want to have now and once this moment is over

Services: The things that you want now and once this over that will make goods easier to enjoy

So, what do you need for your personal economy to support you (and your children) right now? Yep, right now. Now, here is some controversy but it needs to be said:

You and your spouse may not have the same personal economy and that is a conversation that needs to happen before you say I do. So many people don’t and that leads to a marriage where the money is always a bone of contention.

Why do you need to have a personal economy? A way to sustain your chosen lifestyle that is separate from your spouse? Because life happens. When you first began dating, you had a personal economy. It may not have been a strong one but you had one that supplied your needs, wants, and desires to be fulfilled to the best of your ability.

Debilitating. Powerless. Unsure. Second guessing. Afraid. There is a line from the movie “Dune” where the lead character is reminded over and over again that “fear is the mind killer” and that has rang true for many in the divorce process. Let’s talk about the bogeyman of fear. 

Irrational fear -

Healthy fear -

Check out "So, You're Getting Divorced? Notes for the Journey" and learn more about F.E.A.R (Facts, Evidence, and Resources): http://bit.ly/SacheenMobley3

Who are you dealing with in your divorce? Does it matter? Twisting ourselves into knots trying to figure out which version of your ex you are dealing with is a recipe for disaster and anxiety. It's also not your problem anymore to figure it. Let's chat about why putting YOU first is better than trying to figure out how to manage Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde. 

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