How can an educational system be so cruel to create a bunch of losers so self-entitled to theorise about the earth being flat just to appear knowledgeable on YouTube? Turn off your microwave and eat your cheese pockets raw, fatty!

Not that this needs any debunking, but it's fun and it makes you mad, too. I'm sure.

Fuckin great. They're finished the remake of Stephen King's IT. Trailer and trivia is out now.

We needed this clown back in our lives like we needed acne back between the eyes. It rhymes. But this is not funny. Not at all. It's actually scary – unlike the Witch. Just saying...

Someone will actually have to review this. I might just do the Dark Tower instead.

The breath of the wild has truly breathed down our eyeballs – we've all been sucked into Hyrule. Not just eyeballs either. Zelda is a pretty fucking immersive experience for a video game that is 'only' on your screen (a bunch of surround speakers by the way, will do a lot to really want to make you give up on social climbing).

As a bit of contrarian, we have Randle, who – in his defence, has not yet played the game – has very high opinions of a game ominously called 'Zero Dawn Adventure Horizon Force'. Now, we all can agree 'Zelda Breath of The Wild' is not an acronym either, but at least it makes a whole lot of sense when you find yourself as an elf'ish twink without pants on the edge of a cliff, overlooking what must be the most beautifully crafted game world yet. 

Our review. (Probably part 1...)

We got some Nintendo Switches. We won't do any unboxing, cause that's stupid, but let's talk about the console and what it can do for you before we even plug it in – or play a game. That's awesome!

We go back in the history of console design. What was it all about then and what stood the test of time? Not to bring up old rivalries, but Sega sucks. And yet, you had to admire how Sonic was just so 'curvaceous' compared to the plumbing, heavily accented foreigner with a big ol pipe. Whatever.

March teaches Neil de Grasse Tyson a lesson in gravity and thermodynamics (often overlooked – just saying). But first, let's shit on other design agencies and the new LG displays (again).

After we all had the alien flue the week before, we're still a little moody, it seems.  

We have two witches (one is a clone) charging for the king tower, backup is a baby dragon and a crossbow, and still March cannot get into the Legendary Arena of Clash Royale – shameful.

And, what's your favourite magic trick? 

Over the years we have truly mastered some video games. 

Yup. So what?

It's still a waste of time right?

March tells his heart wrenching story about how his apartment got flooded on Australia day, giving him that indoor jacuzzi he always wanted – what a day for a permanent resident indeed!

We also discuss how to improve on Trump's demagogy-vocabulary better and review some of the latest movies like Lala Land and not The Return of Xander Cage.

After bending over backwards in praise for Apple's product development, we finally arrived at base rate hatred. The new Apple MacBook Pros are of a connectivity disaster, especially if you're one of the hip kids owning an Apple Display (which is just not a revenue machine, dear shareholders).

We also talk about the new Nintendo Switch and some great upcoming games and how everything is a little less exciting the older you get. Giving up the ghost eventually might be alright after all.

We are also taking submissions for 'March's Problem Solving Song'.

Its a new year – time to get rid of Dave's old clothes. 

We also review a few throw away movies which are neither here nor there. A few however, you don't want to miss, like Moana and maybe Passengers – just curb your happy feet a little, they're not all gold, especially if you keep comparing it all to the classics...

Happy New Year everybody!