I have been teaching The Body Love Academy for 3 months and the most transformative part of the curriculum so far is FORGIVENESS. In this episode I want to share with you WHAT forgiveness is, WHY it is so important and HOW you can start practicing it in your life.
According to a guest that Oprah had on her show in the early 90’s, forgiveness is letting go of the idea that the past can be any different. In the context of Body Love, it’s not condoning bad behaviour or turning the other cheek but it’s accepting that something has happened and deciding to move on from it… I know, easier said than done.
Another way of looking at forgiveness is letting go of resentment and thoughts of revenge.
Now, you might be thinking, “I never have thoughts of revenge!”
But let me turn that back on you and ask… “Have you ever gone on a strict diet after having a blow out of food?” Well that is revenge my friend! Instead of forgiving yourself and loving yourself no matter what, you’ve decided to hurt yourself for the perceived harm you’ve put on yourself by “quote unquote eating too much crappy food”
How many thoughts or acts of revenge have you perpetrated on yourself over the years?
Because in terms of Body Love, most of the forgiveness that needs to be done is toward yourself. And that’s why it’s so transformative. In our society we are taught to take revenge on ourselves all the time - if you’re not succeeding, work harder, if you eat too much, go on a restrictive diet, if you fail at that, go on a different one, punish yourself at the gym, no pain no gain…
So what are some of the known benefits of forgiveness?
- Healthier relationships
- Improved mental health
- Less anxiety, stress and hostility
- Lower blood pressure
- Fewer symptoms of depression
- A stronger immune system
- Improved heart health
- Improved self-esteem
Not only does forgiveness support us emotionally, it actually supports our physical health too.
Who do you need to forgive?
Yourself, first and foremost. The amount of ways in which we seek revenge on ourselves is mind boggling and unnecessary!
Friends, family & acquaintances - sometimes its the people closest to us that can cause the most pain. Remember I am not asking you to necessarily condone the behaviour but letting go of resentment can be so healing, mostly for yourself.
People of influence, whether that was teachers or bosses or even celebrities or politicians
Institutions like the churches, banks or schools
Systems like the patriarchy or capitalism
At this point it’s important for me to say that if any of these forgiveness suggestions trigger extreme feelings of distress, please seek professional help from your GP or other mental health support.
So you might be thinking… this is all well and good Emma, but HOW can I forgive these things, especially when I’ve been upset for years or I’ve been beating myself up forever?
Ho'opnopono - read more here
Cord Cutting - try this meditation (Download the Insight Timer App for free)
Journaling (letter writing)
Visualisation - listen to this podcast for more info
Metta meditation - try my version
Which forgiveness practice will you try? Tell me in the comments.
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