When you think about body image issues, do you assume it refers just to teenagers?  Unfortunately about 80% of adult women in Australia also have body image issues. And they are holding themselves back from life because of it.

My mission is to help women everywhere love their bodies because I know it will help improve their confidence, health and bank balance!

So last week I created The Body Lover’s Manifesto which are 6 sentences that describe what a woman in my community believes, acts and feels.

You can download a copy of the Body Lover’s Manifesto here.

Check out the video about dogs & body image.

If you are interested in my Body Love Blueprint 4-week program you can find out more here.

And let me know if you want to be a body lover!  Comment below or send me an email at [email protected]

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This week I am giving you a behind the scenes look at what the women in The Body Love Academy are learning this week.

It’s all about upleveling.

When we take the time to love our bodies and our lives we will come across 2 phenomena - self-sabotage and upleveling.

Self-sabotage is absolutely normal and not something to beat yourself up about.  But it’s good to get it under control.

Listen to my podcast all about this topic by clicking here.

Now listen to this week’s show to learn the 9 point checklist that you can use to create a life that is always upleveling (i.e. getting better and better!)

(And tell me in the comments which one will be the hardest for you!)

Learn more about The Body Love Academy here.

And if you find this list really confronting then maybe The Body Love Method VIP program is right for you.  Read all about it here.

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The Body Love Show - Creating more time for Body Love.

There are 2 ways to look at Body Love.  

One is the way we feel about our bodies.  Ultimately I want you to be able to say you love your body.  Why? When we genuinely feel love and respect for our bodies it frees up a lot of mental and emotional bandwidth for more important things.

The second way is the way we treat our bodies.  Do you treat yourself with compassion? Do you look after your body with love - with nutritious food, gentle movement and plenty of rest?

If you’re busy working full time or running a business as well as looking after your family you are probably thinking, “This Body Love stuff is all well and good Emma, but I just don’t have time!”

Here’s the thing that might be surprising… when we live Body Love lifestyles it SAVES you time.  When you aren’t thinking about how bad your thighs look, you are way more productive. When you stop following diet plans and eat according to what your body wants it saves you time (and money!).  When you stop needing to burn X number of calories at the gym and just enjoy moving your body, you don’t have to fit in with anyone else’s timetable.

I will admit that it takes a bit of time to learn to love your body, to trust that you can be healthy without needing to be a size 10 at any cost.  But with a short term investment of time, and a lifelong commitment to being gentle towards yourself, you could have more time on your hands than you could ever imagine!

Here are the 4 steps you can take to love your body and free up that time you deserve:

1. Decide that’s what you want (intention)
2. Remove the actions you take that you don’t enjoy (declutter)
3. Forgive yourself for treating yourself so badly for so long (forgive)
4. Surround yourself with reminders of what it is you want (Positive Anchor)

If you want support to learn to love your body check out my VIP coaching program at bodylovehq.com/vip

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In this week’s podcast episode I answer a question from a woman who reads my weekly email.  

She asks:

How do I get past the fact I am overweight but still beautiful? Why can't I see what other people see in me instead of just the outside?

Firstly, I ask the question, “over what weight?”

I also explain a few ways to recognise your own beauty and love yourself no matter what your size.

I refer to this book in the podcast: Body Positive Power by Meagan Jayne Crabbe.

Learn more about the online Body Love course here.

And send me your questions about Body Love here and I might answer it in a future podcast.

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The Body Love Show - Learn to love your body in 7 weeks

In the next few weeks I will be starting the online course for The Body Love Method.  Until now I have only offered it as a one on one coaching program which can be out of some people’s budgets (especially when we don’t value ourselves!) or through The Body Love Academy where I’m teaching other women how to be Body Love Coaches and create their own businesses.

And it’s since I started teaching the students in The Academy that I’ve become acutely aware of how powerful it is to learn about Body Love in a group environment.  My students get to see how each other are processing the information, knowing they aren’t the only one can really make them feel better about themselves and I love watching them share their wins and support each other.

So it made me realise that it was time for me to create an online version of The Body Love Method so that its more affordable and so women can go through the process as a group and get the same benefits as my Academy students are getting.

I’d love to share a bit about the program and how it works so you know everything that you need to know before diving in!

You can access all the information and register at bodylovehq.com/online

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Western Yoga has a problem.  Here are some of the examples:

• We almost only see skinny, white, young, bendy, beautiful women
• It’s just focused on Asana or physical poses
• More & more it seems to have a go hard or go home orientation - handstands, crazy asana on the edge of the cliff, Tabata yoga, weight loss focus, etc.

This can make yoga seem impossible for people who have larger bodies, or who are injured or chronically ill.

However yoga does help body image

A 2018 Study showed:

• 16.2% of young adults reported practicing yoga at least 30 min/week.
• Practicing yoga was associated with higher levels of body satisfaction.
• Yoga practitioners with prior low body satisfaction showed greater increases.

So, what types are especially good for larger, older or sorer bodies?

I love Yin and restorative yoga which can be suitable for almost anyone!

And don’t forget, yoga is more than just the physical practice, there are the 8 limbs of yoga.

The good news is that there are more and more body positive role models:

Jessamyn Stanley (find her on Instagram or read this article)

Sarah Harry author of Fat Yoga

Adapted Yoga (follow on Instagram)

Me!

Here’s how to get involved in my yoga classes both in person and online.

Classes in Albany

Go With the Flow - 6 week online course

Chakra Balancing Online Course

And get GWTF free with new Body Love Method online course which is coming out very soon!

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I have been teaching The Body Love Academy for 3 months and the most transformative part of the curriculum so far is FORGIVENESS.  In this episode I want to share with you WHAT forgiveness is, WHY it is so important and HOW you can start practicing it in your life.

According to a guest that Oprah had on her show in the early 90’s, forgiveness is letting go of the idea that the past can be any different.  In the context of Body Love, it’s not condoning bad behaviour or turning the other cheek but it’s accepting that something has happened and deciding to move on from it… I know, easier said than done.

Another way of looking at forgiveness is letting go of resentment and thoughts of revenge.

Now, you might be thinking, “I never have thoughts of revenge!”

But let me turn that back on you and ask…  “Have you ever gone on a strict diet after having a blow out of food?”  Well that is revenge my friend! Instead of forgiving yourself and loving yourself no matter what, you’ve decided to hurt yourself for the perceived harm you’ve put on yourself by “quote unquote eating too much crappy food”

How many thoughts or acts of revenge have you perpetrated on yourself over the years?

Because in terms of Body Love, most of the forgiveness that needs to be done is toward yourself.  And that’s why it’s so transformative. In our society we are taught to take revenge on ourselves all the time - if you’re not succeeding, work harder, if you eat too much, go on a restrictive diet, if you fail at that, go on a different one, punish yourself at the gym, no pain no gain…

So what are some of the known benefits of forgiveness?

• Healthier relationships
• Improved mental health
• Less anxiety, stress and hostility
• Lower blood pressure
• Fewer symptoms of depression
• A stronger immune system
• Improved heart health
• Improved self-esteem

Not only does forgiveness support us emotionally, it actually supports our physical health too.

Who do you need to forgive?

Yourself, first and foremost.  The amount of ways in which we seek revenge on ourselves is mind boggling and unnecessary!

Friends, family & acquaintances - sometimes its the people closest to us that can cause the most pain.  Remember I am not asking you to necessarily condone the behaviour but letting go of resentment can be so healing, mostly for yourself.

People of influence, whether that was teachers or bosses or even celebrities or politicians

Institutions like the churches, banks or schools

Systems like the patriarchy or capitalism

At this point it’s important for me to say that if any of these forgiveness suggestions trigger extreme feelings of distress, please seek professional help from your GP or other mental health support.

So you might be thinking… this is all well and good Emma, but HOW can I forgive these things, especially when I’ve been upset for years or I’ve been beating myself up forever?

Ho'opnopono - read more here

Cord Cutting - try this meditation  (Download the Insight Timer App for free)

Journaling (letter writing)

Visualisation - listen to this podcast for more info

Metta meditation - try my version

Which forgiveness practice will you try?  Tell me in the comments.

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Why you need Yoga Nidra

Yoga Nidra is a deeply relaxing practice that helps our bodies find homeostasis (or our natural state of equilibrium).

It is a guided process so all you need to do is to lie back and listen to the instructions.

Anyone can practice and gain the benefits.

I really wanted to give you this experience so find yourself 40 minutes to give yourself the gift of deep relaxation.

Thanks to Swami Saraswati for the Yoga Nidra script.  Learn more here.

If you would like to join my free 21-day Body Love Meditation program you can sign up here.

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The Body Love Show - Why do I keep sabotaging myself?  

This week an old client of mine had told me she was dealing with some old emotional issues that had come up and that her fibromyalgia symptoms had started to return.

She’s been having a huge amount of success in her business lately.  So naturally, she asked me - why does all this crap come up when you hit good times?

And it’s a common phenomenon.

I’ll have clients start my VIP program or some of my fitness classes and sometimes within days they are sick or injured or a family or money issue has come up and then they can’t continue with these new improvements that they wanted.

Another example is when people ask why they continue to binge eat or drink when they know they feel better when they eat healthily or have alcohol-free days.

Or how about that friend of yours that goes back to her deadbeat boyfriend even though she knows she is better off without him.

The common denominator here is something called SELF-SABOTAGE.  And to be honest, it’s a bitch!

Self-Sabotaging behaviour is when we do things (or it seems things happen to us) in a completely opposite way to what we want to happen.

And this type of behaviour can be conscious or unconscious.  And that makes it even harder to control!

So, what are some common types of self-sabotaging behaviour?  I’ve mentioned a few already, but here’s a comprehensive list:

• Substance abuse
• Procrastination
• Self-harm
• Negative self-beliefs
• Having preconceptions about people or activities
• Being arrogant
• Discouraging before actually trying something
• Maintaining harmful relationships
• Working too hard
• Hiding your talents or true self from the world

Can you tick a few of these boxes?  Is this the first time you’ve realised you might be engaging in self-sabotaging behaviour?

Why do we self-sabotage?  There are many theories so let me run you through some of them:

This first one I was introduced to by Tamala Ridge who I interviewed for The Body Love Summit that I held in 2017  (you can access 12 wonderful interviews on Body Love at thebodylovesummit.com) Tamala is an expert in Spiritual Mentoring, Intuitive Reading and Addictions Recovery.

She explained that MANY OF US are actually addicted to stress.  Each of our cells has receptors which adapt and get used to receiving certain hormones.  When we are in a constant state of stress (which many of our self-sabotaging behaviours will make us feel) our cells receive stress hormones (like adrenaline and cortisol).  When we start new behaviours that make us feel better our cells think something is wrong because they aren’t getting their stress hormone fix. So our bodies influence our brains to make decisions that will get us stressed again!

Another reason why we self-sabotage is to relieve vulnerability.  If we start a new habit or go for a new job, there are no guarantees we’ll be successful.  The uncertainty doesn’t feel good. So it’s just easier to not even try, to stay in the comfort zone.  So we go back to our old behaviours.

Low self-worth or even self-loathing can be a reason for self-sabotage.  This is usually an unconscious type of self-sabotage. If we mess up a good opportunity then we are just proving to ourselves that we are a crappy person which of course reinforces our low self-worth or self-loathing.

And finally, we might just simply have bad habits.  And it takes a while to create new habits so each time we go back to our old ways it feels like we are self-sabotaging again!  

So how do we fix our self-sabotaging behaviour?

Firstly - it will probably never 100% go away.  Each time we make improvements in our lives we’ll come up against new challenges.  But in my opinion, that’s one of the best things about being alive! Making tweaks and changes and constantly improving feels great.

But, if you are serious about making improvements in your life - here are some tips:

1. Name the self-sabotaging behaviour.  Admit to it. Share it with a friend or loved one.  Once it’s out there it’s hard to ignore!
2. Think about what you are avoiding with self-sabotaging behaviour?  - For most people, we are avoiding being hurt. We don’t go for the new job because we don’t want to risk being rejected.  We keep overeating so that we have an excuse to feel unattractive and then we don’t have to put ourselves out there. Or we are always arrogant to strangers so that they won’t get close to us and we won’t risk rejection.  Make a long list and try to see how silly they are!
3. Make a list of what you actually DO want!  Not material things, but how you want to feel?  Connected, fit, healthy, happy, free
4. Take action.  And take more action.  Forgive yourself when you stuff up and take action again.
5. And finally - work on your self-esteem.  Build up your confidence. Work on yourself!  The Body Love Method I have created will help you with that!  You can learn more at Bodylovehq.com/vip or keep an eye out for my new group coaching program that comes out later this month.

Check out these fabulous resources for helping you ditch the self-sabotage:

Brene Brown’s video on Vulnerability

The Big Leap by Gay Hendericks

How to stop feeling like sh*t by Andrea Owen

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In this week’s show, I talk about the link between boosting our self-esteem and how that affects the sustainability of our communities.

I share a fairly common story of a woman struggling with low self-esteem.

Then I share some shocking statistics on how low self-esteem fueled by body image issues affect women and girls.

And finally, I explain three ways you can boost your self-image today!

If you would like to join the free 21-day Body Love Meditation program please click here.

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