I’ve just started listening to a new podcast – well it’s a few years old but it’s new to me. It’s called Making Oprah. It's all about her evolution and how she became so popular. It wasn’t all easy sailing for Oprah but she is an inspiration to me and to countless other women across the globe.
In this podcast, Oprah talks about the highest rating show of her entire career. And probably the episode she regrets the most… Her 1988 “Wagon of Fat” show.
On this episode, Oprah showed off her 30kg weight loss and how she could finally fit into her old Calvin Klein jeans. She wheeled a wagon of animal fat onto the stage that represented the 30kg she had lost. She had obtained this weight loss through a liquid only diet.
The producers of her show recount how she only drank shakes for a period of 3 months to get back into her jeans. In my mind this is crazy! And the women working with her thought so too.
Oprah now says she regrets the show.
Oprah says, "You can see that my ego is on flamboyant display. I've had to pay the price for that moment over and over. I literally handed to the world on a fat wagon platter the story of 'Is She Fat?' 'Is She Thin?'"
Making Oprah Podcast
She goes on to say that at the time she bought into the belief that she still wasn’t WORTHY of her success unless she had the body to match.
And of course, the fact that it’s her most highly rated show kinda says that her fans buy into that idea too. A thin Oprah is a better Oprah. Or maybe she was just living out everyone’s fantasy?
Either way, it seems that being attractive is important for success…and that truly makes me sad.
What we know, of course, is that it really doesn’t matter what Oprah looks like, its her message and stories of positivity that are powerful, not the size of the jeans she fits into. And the same could be said of you too!
Oprah has always been an inspiration in my Body Love Journey. I often think, what if other women are holding themselves back because they believe they need to lose 30kg to be worthy? What if we are missing out on another world-changing woman due to a couple of extra KGs?
But also, what if we aren’t listening to another inspirational woman because she isn’t a slim, blonde beauty. Wouldn’t that be a tragedy too?
This whole “fat on a wagon” show, and the fact that it’s still the highest rated Oprah show ever reminded me of something that happened to me recently.
I don’t dare to compare myself to Oprah… but here goes.
About 6 weeks ago I had a fairly significant haircut. On that same day, I was going out to dinner with friends so I put on some red lipstick and snapped about 20 selfies until I got a really good one, posted it on my Facebook page and went out to meet my friends.
By the end of the evening, this post had had over 100 likes. To put that into perspective… my average business post has about 30 likes. In my little world, this post had gone Viral!
But to be honest, it left me feeling a little bit empty. This post didn’t have any commentary about Body Love or my message of self-love and acceptance. It was just a quick snap of me looking rather cute before I left the house. I felt sad that my posts where I have poured my heart and soul and offer really good advice and support get nowhere near the same amount of attention.
Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate people’s love of my freshly styled hair and my hairdresser did an awesome job. But my hair is my hairdresser’s creation, my face is a combination of my mum and my dad’s. The lipstick I was wearing comes from a shop. But my words are my own. And they are what I would appreciate being complimented on.
But the thing is we are trained to compliment women on their looks. And it feels good to receive those compliments because we are trained to think they are important.
But think about it… when was the last time you heard a group of men greeting each other with “Oh wow, I love your haircut?” I’m not saying it doesn’t happen, but it’s definitely not as common as the way women speak to each other.
I’d love you to start to think about how you compliment the women around you. Are you just focusing on her outward appearance or are you seeing past that (because let’s face it, it’s often outside her control) and complimenting her on the REAL woman inside?
Here are some ways to compliment the women in your life
- Her intelligence “wow you are really smart”
- Her creativity “ that painting you created is really beautiful”
- Her abilities at work (or at home) - however she has chosen to spend a good chunk of her time - even better, ask her how she got to where she is!
- Her honesty - if you have a friend that tells it like it then admire her courage in speaking her truth
- Her passion - if she has a cause that she is passionate about (maybe body positivity), or a hobby or her family - whatever it is, compliment her and encourage her resolve
- And if she’s funny - laugh with her and encourage more. The world could always do with more laughter!
And on a side note, when you are complimenting a friend or mentor on social media, go beyond the reaction buttons and leave a comment. Explain what you like about what they’ve posted. And use one of the ideas I’ve mentioned. It will help to encourage more positivity in the world.
So, think about for you - how can you change the way you compliment the women in your life? How can you spread the positivity and go beyond just the way they look? Have I missed an area that is worth complimenting?
Come over to the blog post and let me know what you think
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