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In this episode, inspired by the dating experience of one of our friends, we talk about why you tend to end up in repeating dating patterns with people who don’t make an effort, disrespect you, or tend to lose interest.
The modern dating world can be brutal – and I’ve heard the phrase time and again “there are no good men (or women) out there.”

In this episode, we talk about:

•  How throwaway comments like “there’s no good men/women” really hold you back from seeing the good men out there.
•  Why belief systems tend to attract more of the same (usually what we don’t like).
•  How to rewire your brain to see new opportunities and higher quality people
•  The Law of Reflections – people treat you how you treat yourself and a simple tool to shift that.

We want to hear your thoughts and questions, so if there's anything you would like us to
cover on the show, please drop us a line on [email protected]

 and also, let us know if you’d like us to introduce a weekly live Q&A

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In this episode, Sara talks about her journey to find the balance between the masculine and feminine within. And Richard shares his journey stepping into his masculine.

Women are often taught from a young age to be strong, independent go-getters. Sometimes, through early life experiences, the “masculine” armour also develops as a way of protecting yourself.
And there is a lot to recommend it!
But at a certain point, this default programming can start to hold you (and your relationship) back.
We talk about:

•  Sara’s radical career and business-related decision
•  When the very thing that always brought you, success starts to be counter-productive
•  The pendulum of masculine feminine extreme, to get back into balance
•  The effect on Richard stepping into his masculine from Sara’s exploration of the feminine
•  Polarity within a relationship

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Within our relationship, we implemented the practice of the 3-hour sex date once a week.

Barring some periods of falling off the wagon, we have more or less stuck to it for almost 2 years.

Sex and intimacy are like anything else. If you don’t make it a priority and plan for it (likegoing to the gym), you’re likely to see it slide further down your list.
However, what do you do if you’ve committed to this time together, but you just don’t feel like it on the day?

In this episode, we talk about:

•  The real intention of the sex date (and how hot sex is a byproduct of that)
•  What to do when you don’t feel like it.
•  Making the sex date your own
•  Why this date is even more important in periods of transition and strong emotions
•  The solo weekly sex date

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This episode was inspired by an insight that cropped up during our weekly date night.
During long, loving relationships – whether they be family, friends or romantic partners, there will be times when the people you love will need support.

What is the correct balance for that support between allowing the other person autonomy to ask for help, looking after yourself and looking after the person you love? The emotions involved can be intense.

We discuss:

•  Richard’s near brush with disability
•  Sara’s realisation of the guilt she carried around for decades about not being there enough for loved ones and how it reinforced the feeling of “I’m a bad person”
•  It’s not about fixing, it’s about being there
•  Resentment vs. guilt. How do you deal with that?
•  Intuitively making the right choice and dealing with your emotions.

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In this episode, we talk about open relationships, poly-amory and other types of non-monogamous relationships.
These types of relationships characterised by agreement between the parties concerned have been glamourised and offered as a solution for the monotony of monogamy in the last decade or so.
But what’s the real reason why people choose to enter these arrangements?
We talk about:

•  Richard’s personal experience of an open marriage with his first wife
•  Why open relationships are often the easier road when compared to conscious monogamy.
•  How intimacy can sometimes destroy sex drive
•  Some tough questions to ask yourself if you’re thinking non-monogamy is the root to solve your relationship problems

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We couldn’t not watch the Manosphere. Join us for this episode where we rant, analyse and share some of our key takeaways from the Louis Theroux documentary and what it says about masculinity, femininity and relationships.

In this episode, we talk about:

•  How we got here – the discrediting of “masculinity” and how it led to polarization
•  The men in the Manosphere are not “alpha men”. Their behaviour comes from deep wounding.
•  The behaviour traits of the wounded masculine
•  The difference between leadership and control
•  When women settle for “less” while telling themselves they’re happy
•  The wounded “feminine”

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Arguments within a relationship are not a bad thing.

The problem is where arguments remain unresolved, where things said in the heat of the moment are weaponised or where they linger on for weeks affecting the relationship.

However, if we can learn to argue well and not take things so personally, then, arguments are huge opportunities for personal and relationship growth.

In this episode, we talk about:

•  Two recent arguments we’ve had that would have left Richard giving me the coldshoulder for weeks a few years ago!
•  Creating arguments out of nowhere (some of the reasons why we do it)
•  The feminine need to prod and test the masculine (Are you really there? Do you really love me no matter what?)
•  Using arguments as an opportunity for deeper insight into yourself.

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In this episode, we challenge the belief that arguing and conflict within a relationship is “bad”.
We talk about something far more insidious that can spell doom for a long-term relationship. And that is non-communication or silence.
The irony is that you might think silence is helpful to maintain harmony (and maybe it is in the short term), but the more you do this, the more you build up problems down the road.
We talk about:

•  An extremely silent 10-year anniversary dinner
•  How non-communication killed Richard’s first marriage
•  Talking about the kids/work/logistics is NOT talking
•  The destructiveness of stonewalling
•  Why the goal is to argue better (not stop arguing at all)

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Today, we’re talking about the problem with taking life (and relationships) too seriously!

 The older we get, the more we hear phrases like “grow up” – but what if we used play strategically to make every aspect of our life better (and had fun doing it)?

For Richard and I, humour has always been an integral part of our relationship and
something that we default back to when everything feels heavy.

Play and humour can be effective in getting us through dark times.

We talk about:

•  Using play and fun to diffuse tension while arguing and as a repair attempt
•  Making light of past arguments (that were resolved)
•  Creating your “in jokes” as a couple and building your own little world
•  Our personal little world!
•  Play’s role in creativity, learning and memory

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People throw around the term “integrity”, but what does it mean and how does it show up within a relationship?

Unfortunately, in a world where we have a lot of high-profile examples of toxic masculinity, it can be hard to pinpoint the qualities of the healthy masculine.

 Integrity forms one of those qualities and we go deep into it!
And it goes far beyond a moral code!

In this episode:

•  We talk about how we each interpret the word “integrity”
•  Integrity and keeping commitments to self
•  Integrity and the healthy masculine
•  Integrity creating safety within the relationship
•  Integrity in a woman creates a container for the feminine to flow

We want to hear your thoughts and questions, so if there's anything you would like us tocover on the show, please drop us a line on

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