Mateo Retegui is headed to Saudi Arabia for a boatload of money while the Italian peninsula is re-inheriting three ageing EURO champions who will fight for the vacant spot with gli Azzurri, Federico Chiesa may have just been given a surprising opportunity thru some dark Ndragheta arts, Gianluigi Donnarumma snaps Jamal Musiala's leg and Neuer goes full Gestapo, Lazio can't sign players and must roll with Mussolini Jr., and Thomas Partey's criminal case demonstrates the risk of keeping a dirtbag under contract. That and more -- enjoy.

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A two-parter this week as the Club World Cup has been met with empty stadiums and lukewarm, diluted American fanfare -- but that didn't stop President Donald Trump from welcoming Juventus to the White House to watch him threaten Iran over their nuclear program to kick off the tournament. Italy's U21 EURO campaign came to close after a heroic display from a new star and a horrible display from an established one. And Sam went on TikTok Live while playing in goal for a local team that I do not care about, which his team's captain did not appreciate in the slightest. That and much more, rejoice and enjoy.

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Gennaro Gattuso is somehow the new coach of the Italian National Team (credit/blame Gigi Buffon) and Gabriele Gravina is putting Gli Azzurri at risk. Israel go to war with Iran before going to war with Italian football later this year and some people can't complete their work. The Montreal Mafia saw devastating arrests, including of a figure whose name is dangerously close to the host of this show. Il Gattopardo is a terrific work of fiction and the Netflix remake of the book is mandatory viewing for any lovers of Garibaldi. The U21 EURO is underway. And much, much more. Enjoy.

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Gli Azzurri sensationally risk missing another World Cup just as soon as qualifiers get underway, Luciano Spalletti is finally deposed in the worst way possible by old man Gabriele Gravina, who will now select a replacement CT that will almost certainly not be as good an option as Carlo Ancelotti. Plus, Italy votes not to reduce the number of years a foreigner must have residency before applying for citizenship. We are back, baby. Enjoy and rate the show 5 stars wherever you're listen to this.

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Sam rants about gli Azzurri falling to Germany on aggregate in the UEFA Nations League quarterfinal following a mentally draining 3-3 draw in Dortmund. We’re comparing Spalletti and Nagelsmann's looks, discussing the defensive disaster, the squad's character, our boys' attention-hungry WAGs, the Kean phenomenon and other forwards at our disposal, and much more.

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Sam rants about how to look like hot shit in Tulum and how to take hot shits in Tulum, being forbidden from feeding a hungry Mayan toddler on the beach, getting in trouble with Mexican customs at the airport and much more

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Sam yells at DiLo about the Neapolitan traveling circus that invaded Roccaraso, Donald Trump Jr. hunting an endangered duck in the Venice Lagoon, Atalanta’s injuries and the head of Nazi science, toilet stalls in Mexico and much more. Enjoy!

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Gizmo joins Sam to discuss Nainggolan’s arrest for cocaine trafficking, €1 homes on the Mediterranean, Suburra, a creative issue to the homeless epidemic and more. Enjoy!

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Sam welcomes comic Roey Rozen to the show after they were made to wait 4 hours to record this pod because we were waiting for Cris Italia to let us into the studio on a Sunday. Despite the logistical and technological obstacles that threatened to derail the episode, the boys managed to pull an electric chat out of the hat, bridging the cultural gap between Italians and Jews. Enjoy!! Sorry for the bad audio quality, mulligan on the tech on this one, folks.

Follow Roey @RoeyRozen & check out his new podcast “Chris and Roey vs. Evil” with Chris Horne

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Sam welcomes fellow stand-up Andy Haynes back to the pod to chat about dry pastries, toddlers defecating, national football team groupthink, 23&Me, Italians voting for Trump, Canada being the newest state to join the union and more!

Andy’s new pod “Beautiful Boys” with comic Mike Canon drops soon

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Follow Andy: instgram.com/imandyhaynes & watch his last special on YouTube “The Coward Of Gramercy