The Borts

Take your cleats off and put your soft, warm slippers on because the Borts are taking a hard left turn AWAY from the field/court/pitch and toward the TV for the second episode of the Sports Borts

***ON THE BORTS DAY OF CHRISTMAS - HOLIDAY SPORTSTACULAR!***

That's right we're not talking sports hardly at all and instead we're talking about the next best thing: made for TV Christmas movies! Do you think they're dumb or corny or predictable, well think again, hot shot...they rule! And we're joined for the episode by someone who also thinks they rule, the very funny Jocelyn Richard!

We break down some of our favorite small budget/quickly shot holiday movies including "Christmas In The Smokies" and "A Christmas Kiss 2" and we discuss why in the heck we love these things so much. For real, all three of us are obsessed with them and if you're not already, YOU SHOULD BE TOO. Get in the spirit, baby, listen to this episode and then watch some of these movies! Let their beauty and familiarity and absurdity wash over you like so many gallons of lukewarm egg nog...

...

No presh, but it would be very cool if you took a measly second or two to rate us and comment on our itunes page or wherever you digest podcasts. It's lame, WE KNOW, but it helps!

Listen to this episode and then tweet at us (@sportsborts) if you are a nice person.

...

Got questions, comments, or interesting low-res pics?

Tweet or email them to us:

@sportsborts

[email protected]

...

Theme music by PODCAST MASON (Matt Klinman, Julie Eubank, Zack Poitras, and Sam West)

Cover art by Ben Wietmarschen (impressive, right?)

Hallelujah, it's that time of year again, the HOLIDAYS! Whether you're celebrating Christmas, Hanukkah, or something in between, this time of year is all about one thing: GIFTS, baby! But what should you get people? I mean, like, specific people. Like Russell Westbrook and Rob Gronkowski and Bryce Harper and all your other favorite sports figures. Well, we've got the answer for you in the first episode of the Sports Borts

****On the BORTS day of Christmas: Holiday Sportstacular****

Joining us in gift discussion is the very funny sports man, Jason Flowers. Jason is a Cleveland native and the biggest Cavs fan around. He also has some great ideas for what kind of underwear to get Charles Barkley.

So whether you're curled up by a roaring fire, sitting in the mall parking lot waiting for some dumbass to pull out of the parking spot they've been sitting in for half an hour after getting back in their car, or eating chestnuts, fire up this holiday borts and let it wash over you like so much snow on Christmas morn!

...

No presh, but it would be very cool if you took a measly second or two to rate us and comment on our itunes page or wherever you digest podcasts. It's lame, WE KNOW, but it helps!

Listen to this episode and then tweet at us (@sportsborts) if you are a nice person.

...

Got questions, comments, or interesting low-res pics?

Tweet or email them to us:

@sportsborts

[email protected]

...

Theme music by PODCAST MASON (Matt Klinman, Julie Eubank, Zack Poitras, and Sam West)

Cover art by Ben Wietmarschen (impressive, right?)

Is DC a state? NO! Now that we got that out of the way, let's talk DC sports (does anyone read these episode descriptions?). The Capitals, the Wizards (nee Bullets), football team, and the...Orioles? Them too, if you ask our guest this week, Sam West.

Sam is a very funny dude who has written for great things and plays the drums in the Sports Borts theme song, "Sports Is Art" with his band, Podcast Mason. He is a DC man who has a complicated but familiar relationship with his hometown sports teams and had some filthy man steal an Orioles' foul ball from him one time.

Check it out and don't forget: ...WATCH SPORTS!

...

No presh, but it would be very cool if you took a measly second or two to rate us and comment on our itunes page or wherever you digest podcasts. It's lame, WE KNOW, but it helps!

Listen to this episode and then tweet at us (@sportsborts) if you are a nice person.

...

Got questions, comments, or interesting low-res pics?

Tweet or email them to us:

@sportsborts

[email protected]

...

Theme music by PODCAST MASON (Matt Klinman, Julie Eubank, Zack Poitras, and Sam West)

Cover art by Ben Wietmarschen (impressive, right?)

Sports is BIG BIZNESS. Ever heard that one before? You probably have because it's true. Stupid, but true. But why does sports bizness have to get in the way of all the fun? Why can some teams buy huge advantages while others scrap and scrape for crumbs? It's probably the price of living in a deeply flawed (but exciting) capitalist society!

Lou Gonzalez is a very funny man who joins the Borts to talk about the financial situation of professional sports and also how he squares up being a fan of the "Republicans" of Major League Baseball (The Yankees) with being a progressive, equality-minded human being.

Come for the deep reflective talk on the inevitability and unchecked power of commerce in our society and stay for the discussion of frozen yogurt toppings!

...

No presh, but it would be very cool if you took a measly second or two to rate us and comment on our itunes page or wherever you digest podcasts. It's lame, WE KNOW, but it helps!

Listen to this episode and then tweet at us (@sportsborts) if you are a nice person.

...

Got questions, comments, or interesting low-res pics?

Tweet or email them to us:

@sportsborts

[email protected]

...

Theme music by PODCAST MASON (Matt Klinman, Julie Eubank, Zack Poitras, and Sam West)

Cover art by Ben Wietmarschen (impressive, right?)

“Sports are great, we want to make them better."

—The official mission statement of Sports Borts.

In a new episode format, the Borts don't got a guest. Instead they present 5 Borts Sports Ideas™ and hash out how good and/or plausible they are.

This week:

-How much less fun is it rooting AGAINST the team you hate the most than it is rooting FOR your favorite team?

-Is less players on the field a way to make the NFL better?

-How can we improve refs' and umpires' uniforms?

-NFL stadiums should play music during plays.

-Can we PLEASE see some GM’s-talkin’-trades footage, FOR ONCE?

...

No presh, but it would be very cool if you took a measly second or two to rate us and comment on our itunes page or wherever you digest podcasts. It's lame, WE KNOW, but it helps!

Listen to this episode and then tweet at us (@sportsborts) if you are a nice person.

...

Got questions, comments, or interesting low-res pics?

Tweet or email them to us:

@sportsborts

[email protected]

...

Theme music by PODCAST MASON (Matt Klinman, Julie Eubank, Zack Poitras, and Sam West)

Cover art by Ben Wietmarschen (impressive, right?)

"Pick-up" basketball? Like basketball played in pick-up trucks? Are the trucks playing on their own or are the drivers controlling them to hit the ball with their front bumper up into the hoop, Air Bud-style?

Shut up, idiot! We're talking about the kind of pick-up basketball you play with your friends or strangers in the park. And how it's great but can sometimes suck if the ingredients aren't juuuuuust right.

John Haskell is a super funny professional comedy man who is a lock-down wing defender with a dynamite mid-range jumper and who plays in a Saturday morning pick-up basketball game with Ben. The Borts talk and chuckle with John about his thoughts as a Philly sports fan, his posters, empathetic athletes, and turning it "up to 11" if you know what we mean.

...

No presh, but it would be very cool if you took a measly second or two to rate us and comment on our itunes page or wherever you digest podcasts. It's lame, WE KNOW, but it helps!

Listen to this episode and then tweet at us (@sportsborts) if you are a nice person.

...

Got questions, comments, or interesting low-res pics?

Tweet or email them to us:

@sportsborts

...

Theme music by PODCAST MASON (Matt Klinman, Julie Eubank, Zack Poitras, and Sam West)

Cover art by Ben Wietmarschen (impressive, right?)

Oooh baby, this is a big one! The question all sports fans with a brain are muttering under their breath as they reach for the remote (and another spicy hot chicken wing) on Sunday. Pro football is back and because the sport's governing body--the dumbass NFL--has refused to honestly address player safety issues and player expression issues and a host of other ISSUES, it's our obligation as sports fans to at least discuss where we fit.

To do that, the Borts are joined by thoughtful and very funny football-man, Don Fanelli! Don is an actor/improvisor/writer who can be seen across many tv shows and can be heard on his own podcast "The Need To Fail" (available wherever podcasts are found!)

...

No presh, but it would be very cool if you took a measly second or two to rate us and comment on our itunes page or wherever you digest podcasts. It's lame, WE KNOW, but it helps!

...

Got questions, comments, or interesting low-res pics?

Tweet or email them to us:

@sportsborts

Is it soccer or is it football? Why can't it be both? Who cares! Either way, the Borts are talking about it this week with America's favorite Italian-American from Queens, Dom Manzolillo! Dom is a funny man of sketch comedy and short film who also speaks Italian. He walks us through how he came to be a Roma supporter (the team of Totti and wolf nipples) and a simple explanation of how footballing works in Europe (there's each country's domestic league AND ALSO the Champions League, and they're played SIMULTANEOUSLY, who knew?! Well, most everyone except Ben, I guess).

After (or before or even DURING) listening to this ep, don't forget to visit dommanzolillo.com for even more Dom!

...

No presh, but it would be very cool if you took a measly second or two to rate us and comment on our itunes page or wherever you digest podcasts. It's lame, WE KNOW, but it helps!

...

Got questions, comments, or interesting low-res pics?

Tweet or email them to us:

@sportsborts

"Sorry honey, I can't do any chores, I'm watching the game...again."

How many times have you heard THAT from your partner? I'm sure it's ALL the time. But is that good? Who knows and who cares! Stop thinking about it and listen to this episode where the Borts (an engaged couple on the verge of not being fiances no more) talk to hilarious duo (and married couple) Dan Klein and Kelly Hudson.

Dan and Kelly are two super funny writers/actors who have a fantastic podcast of their own called Make Me Like It (https://headgum.com/make-me-like-it). They also have great things to say about being in a couple where one person likes sports (Dan) and the other doesn't (Kelly). LISTEN!

...

No presh, but it would be very cool if you took a measly second or two to rate us and comment on our itunes page or wherever you digest podcasts. It's lame, WE KNOW, but it helps!

...

Got questions, comments, or interesting low-res pics?

Tweet or email them to us:

@sportsborts

Pizza? Sure. Empire State Building? Of course. The Knicks and Derek Jeter? NOW THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKIN' ABOUT!

It's a chock-full-of-NYC-sports episode as Jersey boy, Yoni Lotan (Just For Laughs, "Russian Doll" on Netflix), joins the Borts and nails it right out of the gate. Yoni is a passionate young man who loves sports, has complicated feelings for JETES, and sometimes spontaneously chants Tom Hanks' name, exactly like us! Truly this is the ep to listen to if you're on the fence about liking sports.

BONUS CHALLENGE: Please tweet at us (@sportsborts) and Yoni (@yonitime) with the strangest place you listen to this podcast using the hashtag #weirdborts.

...

No presh, but it would be very cool if you took a measly second or two to rate us and comment on our itunes page or wherever you digest podcasts. It's lame, WE KNOW, but it helps!

...

Got questions, comments, or interesting low-res pics?

Tweet or email them to us:

@sportsborts