In this episode, I open up about my journey with softness, vulnerability, and discovering my fearful-avoidant attachment style. I share how those patterns showed up in dating—especially with one man I really wanted but pulled away from—and the self-sabotage loop I didn’t even know I was stuck in.

We’ll talk about what softness is (and what it’s not), how femininity is rooted in our relationship with God, and what it takes to let go of old patterns so you can attract love that actually aligns with your desires.

If you’ve ever found yourself retreating just when love gets close, this episode will help you see the pattern, name it, and start breaking free.

In this episode of The Bougie Dating Coach Podcast, Stacey explores:

🌸 What softness really means (beyond pastel colors and pretty aesthetics)

🙅🏽‍♀️ The myths around femininity and vulnerability

💔 How her fearful-avoidant attachment style led to pulling away from a man she actually wanted

🌀 The “Self-Sabotage Loop” that keeps women stuck in cycles of retreat and protection

✨ The counteractions you can take to interrupt those patterns and invite real connection

🙏🏽 Why softness is not weakness but a spiritual posture rooted in God

For years, I believed a lie that left me chasing after the “perfect” man who didn’t exist. The truth? No one gives you 100%. Even the healthiest relationships are an 80/20 split—80% of what you need, 20% of what you won’t. In this episode, I share how letting go of that lie shifted my dating perspective, why character matters more than butterflies, and how to identify your core values so you stop settling for less (or holding out for what doesn’t exist).

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

Why the “I deserve it all” mindset can keep you single and frustrated

The 80/20 rule for dating and how to apply it

The difference between attraction and character—and why both matter

How to identify your core values so you stop dating in circles

The one question to ask yourself before deciding to stay or leave a relationship

Resources Mentioned:

[The List Ebook] (Click Here) – Your guide to identifying red, yellow, and green flags so you date with clarity.

There’s a shift happening in me—and maybe in you too. A divine nudge to slow down, pull back, and let go of the checklist I’ve clung to for most of my life.

In this episode, I’m sharing what it feels like to sit in the in-between: the space where desire is loud, but God’s instruction is “rest.” Where everything in me wants answers, timelines, and action—but God keeps inviting me into stillness and trust.

I’ll talk about:

The emotional tug of letting go of a life plan that wasn’t mine

How I’m learning to trust that pulling back isn’t punishment—it’s positioning

The grief, frustration, and peace that coexist in the pause

Why your checklist might be keeping you from your clarity

This episode is a permission slip—for the woman who’s tired of striving, who’s ready to hear from God again, and who’s brave enough to believe that waiting well is still movement.

You’re not stuck.
You’re not late.
You’re being prepared.

Sis, here’s the truth: God is specific. So why are we still being vague when it comes to what we desire in a man?

In this episode, I’m inviting you into the exact conversation I had with God about my desires—no filters, no shame. From the pressures of the invisible clock to the temptation to "settle just a little," we’re talking about it all.

We’ll walk through:

Why vague prayers lead to vague results

The Exodus blueprint that inspired The List

What it looks like to cancel out confusion and only entertain clarity

How to reject “I’m just trying to see” energy—because you’re not a maybe

And the real reason specificity builds belief

Plus, I’ll share 3 tangible ways I’m showing up in dating now that I’ve gotten clear—with myself, with God, and with potential partners.

📝 The List E-Book: Your guided tool to name your dating desires with clarity & boldness (https://www.colormetherapyllc.com/shop)

💬 Join the Bold Dating Community: [Insert link]

🎧 Share this with a friend who’s tired of dating in limbo

You’ve been praying… faithfully, tearfully, hopefully. But let’s be honest—it’s starting to feel like your love life is on permanent do not disturb mode. If you grew up in the church, you’ve likely heard, “Just pray and trust God,” but when it comes to your romantic desires, the silence can feel deafening.

In this episode, we’re reviving your prayer life—not with empty platitudes, but with purpose, clarity, and faith that doesn’t waver when things get dry. I’m breaking down how to shift your prayer language, what it means to truly ask for a Boaz and be ready for him, and why consistency in your spiritual ask is just as important as alignment in your daily actions.

This is not about begging or bargaining with God. It’s about standing in bold belief, refining your request, and praying like a woman who knows she's already heard.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

Why your love life feels stuck even though you’ve been praying

How to get clear and specific in your request to God (no more vague or fear-filled prayers)

The mindset shift from desperation to confident expectation

The importance of language in your prayers—what you’re really saying vs. what you think you’re saying

How to remain persistent without growing weary or discouraged

Connect With Me:
📲 Follow me on IG https://www.instagram.com/staceybessard/
💌 Book your Discovery Call Staceybessard.com

Girl, if you're waiting for a man to start living your life—you’re doing it backwards.
In this episode, I’m breaking down the one date that will change your confidence, your magnetism, and your standards—and it doesn’t involve a man at all.

We’re talking about solo dating—what it is, why it matters, and why you might be avoiding it. Whether it’s lack of time, not knowing where to go, or lowkey being bitter about doing it alone—this episode is your loving push to reclaim your time, your joy, and your standards.

I even share my personal solo adventure to Madrid and how it unlocked a version of me I would’ve never met if I waited for a relationship.

By the end of this episode, you’ll be ready to put on your cute dress, plan a date with YOU, and show up for yourself in a whole new way.

In this episode, we dive into:

Why solo dating increases your magnetism

The real reason you say you “don’t have time”

How past generations missed out on this confidence tool

3 reasons you may be avoiding solo dates (and how to shift that today)

Stacey’s story of solo traveling to Madrid after heartbreak—and why she’s better for it

What solo dates teach you that brunch and scrolling never will

👉 Grab your Free Solo Date Ideas List with 20+ cute date ideas from easy to adventurous: [ Date You First: Solo Date Experience Guide]

If this episode blessed you, screenshot and share it on IG stories and tag me [@staceybessard]!
And if you're ready to go deeper in discovering your magnetic presence, check out my 12-week coaching program: Magnetic Presence

Tired of hearing “Just wait—God will bring him when you least expect it”? Sis, let’s be real: that phrase is starting to sound more like a band-aid than a breakthrough. In today’s episode, I’m unpacking why your wait on God might feel frustrating and how to actually shift into a season of magnetic, aligned action—without losing hope.

This isn’t about striving, performing, or being busy for the sake of it. It’s about stepping into alignment with who God has called you to be—so what you’re waiting for is drawn to you naturally, not stressfully.

What waiting on God is—and what it isn’t

How spiritualized procrastination may be keeping you stuck

Why inner posture matters more than passive positioning

A powerful story of what happened when I aligned with my authentic self

How to prepare for love while still living fully

Practical ways to fill your calendar with aligned, magnetic moments

A presence practice you can use this week to move from frustration to flow

What am I doing in my life right now that reflects trust in God’s timing?

Have I unintentionally used “waiting on God” as a spiritual excuse to hide?

What are five things I love doing that bring me joy outside of dating?

How can I start showing up in those spaces more often?

Am I aligned with the version of me my future partner is praying for?

Create your magnetic moment calendar.
List your top 5 interests. Find events, classes, or experiences aligned with them. Add at least one to your calendar this week. Then go—and be fully present.

Elegance Unleashed Coaching – 1:1 support to align with the woman who attracts what she desires

Real-life story: How I met a guy when I wasn’t looking—but was in full alignment

IG Poll results: What women really think about waiting on God

Let’s keep the conversation going:
→ IG: @staceybessard
→ DM me “WAITING” if this episode hit home and you’re ready for your magnetic shift.

Apple Podcasts | Spotify 

Are you staying in again this weekend, hoping love will just knock on your door? Sis, it's time to get up, get dressed, and get in position. In this episode, I’m sharing three intentional places to go EACH DAY this weekend that will help you increase your chances of meeting a man who actually matches your lifestyle and values—without having to sacrifice your standards or your sanity.

This episode is perfect for the woman who:

1. Feels like she has “no time” to date
2. Is tired of going to loud bars and forced events
3. Wants to meet quality men organically, while enjoying life on her terms

You’ll hear:

1. Where to go Friday, Saturday, and Sunday (plus a Sabbath-friendly bonus idea)
2. What to wear so you feel confident, feminine, and like her
3. Easy ways to start a conversation—even if it feels awkward
4. Why these locations work, even if you don’t meet “the one” this weekend

Because dating doesn’t have to be a drag. It can be joyful, elegant, and completely in alignment with the woman you’re becoming.

Dating works when you are present, positioned, and playful.

It’s not about chasing, it’s about placing yourself where alignment lives.

Even if you don’t meet “him” this weekend, you build confidence, joy, and self-trust by showing up for you.

Episode: Flirting 101 – 3 Tips to Be Magnetic Today

Local event sites (search your city’s museum events, hotel bar calendars, and farmers markets)

💌 Join my email list for bold dating tips and resources

📸 Follow me on Instagram: @thebougiedatingcoach

📆 Book a session or join one of my live workshops at www.staceybessard.com

🎧 Listen now and turn your boring weekend into a bougie love-magnet adventure. You deserve a love that feels aligned, exciting, and deeply satisfying.

💋 Stay Bougie & Happy Dating,
Stacey

Sis, are you confusing friendliness with flirtation? If you’ve ever left a conversation wishing you’d shown your interest instead of freezing up—this episode is for you. In this juicy and practical lesson, I’m teaching you how to flirt like the bold, bougie, and God-aligned woman you are. We’re talking soft eyes, gentle smiles, and the flirty finesse that invites the right kind of masculine attention.

Let’s make sure you're not sending friend vibes when your heart is ready for something more.

✨ What You’ll Learn in This Episode

Why you might be coming off more “church professional” than magnetic and flirty

My Signature Flirt Combo: soft eyes, a gentle smile, a caught-off-guard compliment, and a light touch

How to create flirtatious moments that feel natural, not forced

The exact phrases to use that open the door without chasing

The difference between being inviting vs. being too guarded

Why you must align with your most authentic self to attract aligned connections

💡 Power Takeaways

Flirting is not performance, it’s energy: When you soften your body, energy, and tone—you create space for a man to pursue.

Soft eyes are your secret weapon: Learn to drop the forehead tension and let your feminine energy lead.

Compliments are conversation starters: Use unexpected compliments to open the door—without losing your mystery.

Confidence is magnetic: You don’t have to prove anything. Your presence is the message.

💅🏽 Bougie Bonus Tip

“Flirting isn’t about doing more—it’s about doing less with more intention.”
Inside Elegance Unleashed, I teach my clients how to embody softness, boldness, and alignment in their dating lives. We practice this on live calls until it becomes second nature. Want in? [staceybessard.com]

🔗 Links & Resources

💖 Apply for Elegance Unleashed: [Apply Here]

💌 Join my email list for weekly bougie dating gems: [https://stacey-bessard.kit.com/2d88ae710e]

📱Follow me on IG: @stacey.bessard

🎧 Listener Love?

If this episode helped you see flirting differently, leave a 5-star rating and share it with a friend who's ready to be seen and pursued!

In this episode, we’re calling out a silent saboteur in your dating life: hyper-independence. That “I’ll do it myself” energy and go-go-go lifestyle might be great for your career, but it could be quietly blocking the very relationship you’re praying for.

We explore how your money mindset and overworking habits are linked to unhealed wounds—and how those wounds are dimming your magnetism. You’ll learn how constantly being in provider mode can put you in a masculine energy loop that repels the kind of love you desire.

If your schedule is full but your heart feels disconnected, this is your gentle nudge to pause, reflect, and release. Let’s talk about surrender, softness, and creating space for the love you truly want.

JOIN my Newsletter: Join The Elegance Unleashed Community- https://stacey-bessard.kit.com/2d88ae710e

Follow Me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/staceybessard/

Book a Discovery Call: staceybessard.com