Stealing Their Joy: How Kids Become Perfect Lifelong Consumers that always need something outside themselves to feel okay. Only, it doesn't work.
Michael Boyle discusses the importance of balancing understanding the ubiquity of "survival mode", emphasizing the need for resilience, courage, and joy. He highlights the cultural pendulum swing between denial and overwhelm, advocating for a middle ground of open-heartedness and grit. Boyle addresses the mental health crisis in children, particularly screen addiction, urging parents to address their own addictions first. He stresses the importance of discipline, self-regulation, and the practice of "extra and open attention" to cultivate joy and aliveness. Boyle calls for a collective effort to support children in developing resilience and coping mechanisms beyond screen dependency.
Action Items
Spread awareness about the impact of screen addiction on children's mental health.Develop more discipline and say "no" 25 times a day to build the habit.Try the "extra and open attention" practice and share it with others.Introduction and Purpose of the Podcast
Michael Boyle introduces himself as the host of the podcast and explains the mission of Together Academy, which is to help the community hardwire courage, resilience, contribution, and joy.He mentions various resources available on the Together Academy website, including the free newsletter, blogs, books, and the 30-day reset program.Michael encourages listeners to join the Joyful Excellence Mastermind Community for more comprehensive support and tools.He sets the stage for the episode by mentioning that the topic is something he is working on in his personal life and that he will be re-recording the podcast due to an initial recording with the wrong energy.From Surviving to Thriving
Michael discusses the cultural pendulum swing between denial and overwhelm in dealing with challenges and stress.He emphasizes the importance of balancing kindness and consideration with the legitimacy of challenges.Michael explains that most people are living in survival mode, which is not conducive to joy, love, or creativity.He highlights the need for tools and skills to transform survival mode into thriving mode, which requires courage, resilience, and support.The Impact of Survival Mode on Mental Health
Michael elaborates on how survival mode is triggered easily by everyday stressors and how it does not allow for joy or long-term immunity.He discusses the importance of making time for disciplines that promote health and resilience, such as meditation, breathwork, and good sleep hygiene.Michael shares a personal anecdote about his own struggles with screen addiction and the impact it has on his mental health.He stresses the need for deliberate, dedicated efforts to overcome cultural tendencies towards survival mode and to cultivate thriving mode.The Role of Screen Addiction in the Mental Health Crisis
Michael shifts the focus to the mental health crisis among children and the role of screen addiction.He urges parents to address their own screen addiction before addressing their children's, as children often model their parents' behavior.Michael shares his own struggles with screen addiction and the withdrawal symptoms he experiences.He emphasizes the need for powerful action to address screen addiction in children, as it is becoming more prevalent and severe.The Importance of Attachment and Self-Soothing
Michael explains the concept of attachment theory and how it relates to children's ability to self-soothe.He discusses how children who are given screens too often develop a neurobiological attachment to screens instead of their primary caregivers.Michael highlights the negative impact of numbing discomfort and anxiety through screens, which prevents children from developing the capacity to self-soothe.He emphasizes the importance of feeling discomfort to heal it and the negative consequences of numbing it.The Pleasure-Pain Balance and Discipline
Michael discusses the pleasure-pain balance in the brain and how constant pleasure leads to endogenous pain.He explains how numbing pain leads to more pain and the importance of saying no to constant stimulation.Michael shares his family's motto, "Discipline is delicious," and how saying no can produce endogenous pleasure.He emphasizes the need for discipline and the benefits of choosing hard things to do, which produce feel-good chemicals and resilience.The Role of Boredom and Self-Regulation
Michael discusses the importance of boredom and self-regulation for children's development.He shares his experience of driving long hours with his family and the benefits of being bored and self-regulating.Michael emphasizes that being in one's own experience is inherently good and that constant stimulation prevents children from discovering this.He highlights the negative impact of always needing external stimulation and the importance of cultivating aliveness and openness.Practicing Extra and Open Attention
Michael introduces the practice of extra and open attention as a way to cultivate joy and aliveness.He provides a guided practice for listeners to try, focusing on the sensations of aliveness in the body and the space around it.Michael explains that this practice helps to develop a state of aliveness and openness, which leads to joy, openness, love, kindness, and awareness.He emphasizes that this practice is a skill that requires cultivation and that the freedom and empowerment of feeling good in one's own skin is a valuable gift.Conclusion and Call to Action
Michael concludes by encouraging listeners to pass on the message and to work together to change the cultural tide towards thriving.He emphasizes the importance of community support and the challenges of swimming against the tide alone.Michael reiterates the need for discipline, challenge, and resilience in both children and adults.He ends with a call to choose love and to support each other in cultivating joy and aliveness.
