The Brave Monkeys Speak | Adventure and the Science of Stoked

What do you do after football? Here's my story.

Episode 012:
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High Rollin' : $10.99 USD - monthly Monkey Up : $4.99 USD - monthly Let's Hear It! : $1.99 USD - monthly Why Subscribe? April 28, 2009
    I hung up the pads today. Football has been good to me. It has been that extra factor that has gotten me to where I am. But you can’t rely on it forever. Life isn’t football, and football isn’t life. A lot of people lose perspective on that and end up not knowing what they want to do when the journey suddenly ends. There are a lot of things that I want to do with and in my life, and today I will start pursuing those things. For when I read this in the future: remember that statement. If you haven’t yet, do those things. Hike Hadrian’s Wall with Garrett. Paddle Maine’s islands. Ride across the U.S. Write. Learn. Listen. Continue to challenge yourself; get out of the comfort zone.
    Football. What can you say about it? It’s a game best enjoyed from the stands with a cold beer and friends. But truly, football is like a rose. It’s a beautiful game that will teach you about life, and it is totally glorified and fun to look at. But the thorns will also get you, and they will leave you with blood running down your skin. Deal with it.
    Whenever I stepped on that field, I always thought of Ivory Christian. I hated the game. I wanted it to leave me alone. Yet, I kept doing it. And, when I strapped up for gameday, the Devil emerged. The mean streak was on; rage in my heart.
    Today, I leave with nothing but a bag of memories and lessons to carry with me in life (and a couple of stolen t-shirts). And I couldn’t imagine a grander ending. I walked into the bright sunshine and blooming flowers on this beautiful spring morning and I cried with a smile on my face for the memories and the guys who put their hand down in the dirt next to mine. And then it was gone.
    Even now, only an hour or two later, I can’t cry for it anymore. I am running into the next phase of my life, with a beautiful future ahead. May I have strength and endurance in my journeys.


    When a lot of guys end their playing careers, its a very emotional moment. There can be lots of crying and thinking about how they will never feel that rush again, that knotted stomach before a game as they go over plays in their head, that moment when the stomach unknots and all that fear turns to anger that swells, making them want to injure anyone in a different colored jersey by any means possible, as long as they don't get caught. And finally, that temporary high after a game, before the swelling and the headaches set in, that moment after a win when they just feel so alive.

            I took a different path. When I hung up the pads and walked away from the fresh cut grass and dried dirt soaked in my own sweat, blood, and vomit, I had a smile on my face. It was time to be done, and I had and still have things to do before I (get old? Lose function in my knees?). Lots of them. First on the list was get out of the comfort zone and go to new places in the world to learn from new people about different sides of life. I bought a bike to do it.

            I took a job working in a new place over the summer, Woods Hole, Cape Cod, and I got a lot of traveling by bike in. All over Massachussetts. I fell in love with my steel frame Surly touring bike. The next summer I cut the frame in half and put steel couplers in it so that I could fit it in a suitcase and travel with it without any detriment to the function of the frame, and I took it to Alaska with me and rode across the state. But that’s not what I am here to tell you about. I am here to tell you about athletics. And during the school year I can’t travel with my bike. So I decided to race it.

            My bike is a steel frame touring bike - probably the last choice of bike for any cyclist to complete a criterium with. For that matter, probably the last choice for a time trial, too, and a hilly road race! The frame is too heavy, the wheelbase is too long, the bottom bracket too low, the tan finish and leather seat are certainly too ugly.

            When I clipped in for my first race on a slick New York city street in the middle of monsoon-like conditions that foreboded the disasters ahead for an offensive lineman trying to race bikes, my pedals rang like a church bell on Sunday morning. The stiff frame responded to my lightest motion and the unsightly tan frame shone gold.

            With the shot of a gun we were off… cautiously. Drops of water sprayed in everyone’s eyes, and I tried to settle into a good position about three riders back. At that point in time, I didn’t know about picking and catching breaks, prime laps,  or even what a peloton was; I just knew I wanted to ride my bike fast, but that if I stayed behind a few folks I would conserve energy by letting them break the wind for me. For a half hour we went around the track. Near the end of the race the bell rang – I thought it was the last lap. So, after rounding the last soaked sharp corner, I took off. Behind me I heard a Darthmouth rider tell one of his teammates “don’t go for him – it’s not worth it,” which of course seemed strange to me with the race on the line, but I sprinted on and crossed the finish line first. Well, that was my introduction to the prime lap – a lap in which the winner gets prizes or points that, in comparison to winning the race, add up to a fairly insignificant amount.

            Well, needless to say, the race wasn’t over. As I began slowing down after the finish line, other racers zoomed past me. Surprised, I worked to catch back onto the lead group. Coming around the last corner of the true last lap, I was exhausted! I took fifth.

            Over the years, I kept racing, getting more and more interested in the techniques and challenge of the sport. I moved up categories; learned about the Peloton, breaks, and more than I wanted to know about external bottom brackets and the physics of radially-spoked wheels; split my face open in a crit crash and had it sewed back together; tried and fell in love with cyclocross racing; had my good races; my bad races; and – eventually – my wins.

            I made great friends with my cycling teammates, and we went to races any way we could, and stayed on just about any floor that would let us crash for the night. When we went to race in Philly we stayed with my brother at UPenn. We had driven a great old blue van with window shades, and as Garrett walked past trying to locate us to let us into his place, we stuck our heads out one of the windows and said “hey kid, you want some candy?”

            And through it all, the most refreshing part was that I cycled for fun. I often say that the most fun I had racing was at cyclocross race in which I crashed six times and came in second-to-last. It was a blast! Quite the opposite end of the spectrum from football: people don’t know you are on the cycling team – people don’t know there is a cycling team! For me, there is nothing more refreshing. 

            I guess the old adage is true: you get another hand soon after you fold. Make the best of it, and enjoy it.

This time of year, like most Americans I think, I try to take some extra time to think about what I am grateful for. I talk about this a lot, but gratitude itself is actually a powerful lifehack - it has been shown scientifically to help you get better sleep, reduce stress, have better eating habits, and even reduce your feelings of physical pain.
    I try to take advantage of this nice little fact, so I keep a ‘gratitude journal’ next to my bed - I start every day by taking two minutes to write down three things I am grateful for.
    Items on my gratitude lists this year include:
 my awesome family,
Danielle who is a little kid at heart and is the best girlfriend ever,
rocks
my mom who is the best mom ever in the world
Springs and Colorado for being the best otters / spirit animals in the world
a place to lay my head every night,
Springs not being mad that I was sleeping on top of him
opensource knowledge to learn with
Leaves and trees and streams and groves
the fact that that squirrel at our backcountry campsite didn’t eat our bacon that one morning
the ability to chase my passions
the chance to do something meaningful in life
my body which is in perfect working condition
delicious food that provides life and health
plants in my house
Fall time of year
Aspen trees
National Parks
Coffee shops
Yerba mate
butter
birds who sing
cold showers
farmers markets
a shot at changing the world
This year, though, seems markedly different from years past; I find only one consistent theme from year to year: freedom.

In my youngest of years I had a lot to be thankful for, but not that much that I was aware of. I should have been most thankful for my mom and dad’s love and guidance, but I was more thankful for the freedom they gave me on Thanksgiving Day to eat as much as I wanted. I would usually head straight for my Gran’s famous cherry coke salad - a wonderously sugary cherry jello made with coke instead of water, and topped with pecans and real cherries. Well, they were real from a can, but hey, I was 8 so I thought they were delicious.

As I reached High School, I continued to treasure the freedom of eating without reserve on Thanksgiving Day, which is probably why I became a football player to begin with. But it was always a different freedom that stood out - football season was over come Thanksgiving. The whole world seemed to open up and possibilities felt limitless - time sprang from nowhere and I could play pickup football on Thanksgiving Day with my buddies - actually getting to throw and catch the ball for once, and being able to run without fear of getting injured for the season in a stupid way.

    In college, that same freedom was defining, but at a new level as football was no longer a game or even a sport, but a cut-throat business. To have the stress lifted from my shoulders and to see my family and home for the first time in months, to play with our dog, to return to everything that was normal for me was absolute freedom.

    In the post-college world, freedom seemed as if it would be easy to find as the weight of football - both metaphorically and literally - was gone. But it’s not quite so. Job logistics, financial concerns, family obligations and physical distances all do their part to try to hold you back. As I was trying to figure out how to make my freedom work, I met a great friend and mentor, Peter.
    At 58 years old, Peter has followed his passions, his obsessions, for a lifetime. He loves to teach, and he loves to ‘go home’. Home, to the Grand Canyon. Since getting home to my family was proving to be challenging, he wondered, did I want to have Thanksgiving with him in his home?
    The idea was intriguing, but it was different than my classic view of Thanksgiving. I wanted it to be just the same as it had always been - the same food, the same pickup football game, the same home.

    I guess I had a lot to learn.
    A greek philosopher said: "You can never step into the same river; for new waters are always flowing on you.
No man ever steps into the same river twice,  for it's not the same river and he is not the same man."

Peter didn’t tell me this so explicitly, but after so many dips in the cold waters of the Colorado River in his home, he conveyed the message subliminally. A few weeks later, we headed down the New Hance Trail into Red Canyon. The rest is kind of details - we camped by Hance Rapid on Thanksgiving Eve, met a River Trip taking a burn day on their 21-day rafting trip who were all-too-happy to provide us with beer and paint our faces in order to match their pilgrim and indian costumes. We brought dehydrated potatoes, real cranberry sauce, real butter, and yes, two real pumpkin pies in our backpacks with us down a vertical mile of backcountry trails to consume happily on Thanksgiving Day. We created a new song - a spin off of Mulenburg County - “Daddy won’t you take me to the Grandest of Canyons,”

    It was different than anything I had ever experienced, and it was freedom in the fullest. There is nothing like taking a poop on top of a giant spire in the biggest, most beautifully intricately carved hole in the world. Just remember to respect the place and leave no trace - yes, pack out your poop, people!

    I have been thinking about this idea of freedom a lot lately. I have made a deliberate effort in recent years to design my life around service to humanity, and around doing the things that excite me. It’s the ultimate blend of meaning to my life, and freedom. But living this way takes deliberate work. It’s not easy to give up old ideas and accept change, not easy to change the way you view the world or directly fly in the face of what society is telling you you should do. There is an adage from the Wild West: “When freedom is outlawed, only outlaws will be free.”  Freedom isn’t outlawed in the U.S., it’s what we should be most grateful for, yet I still think about that old adage. In many ways, society’s preconceptions have caused chasing your own freedom to be unconventional.  Rolf Potts notes in his excellent work Vagabonding that “The more we associate experience with cash value, the more we think that money is what we need to live. And the more we associate money with life, the more we convince ourselves that we’re too poor to buy our own freedom. With this kind of mind-set, it’s no wonder so many Americans think extended overseas travel is the exclusive realm of students, counterculture dropouts, and the idle rich.” When freedom is unconventional, only those living an uncommon life will be free.

Just as the United States has to work and fight and lay everything on the line at times, for it’s freedom, so do we as people living in the United States. For me, it’s hard to accept change, to lay everything on the line for a dream, for freedom. It’s easy to give in to social pressures or a path of ease and not chase my passions, chase those things that excite me, chase my freedom from a life of ease and drudgery. But every time I do the work to chase it, I realize it’s worth it.

    Through the Brave Monkeys Speak Podcast, I am finding out that there is a huge group of people who feel the same way - they work for what they are passionate about, what they see as a life of service to humanity, and when they get tired they renew themselves by chasing freedom through adventure, through getting out of the comfort zone and learning about themselves. We are the people who are alright with redefining ourselves, who are going to redefine the world in the process.

Thanks for joining me y’all. Until next time, be well and have happy journeys.


If you have a story of inspiration, of chasing your own freedom to share with the community, head over to adventuroushabits.com and share it with us. You can find my email in the top right corner of the site and you can sign up for the newsletter on the page that says ‘free stuff’. We can’t wait to get you on board.
Episode 011:
Music by Mike McGill and my good friend Zach Schmidt.
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Former University of Pennsylvania Offensive Lineman and current Houston Law School Student Garrett Moore, who has recently made massive lifestyle changes, lost 40 pounds in 2 months, and upgraded his mental performance before entering law school, lets us in on some of the secrets to his success. 

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On to Episode 010:
Music by Uncle Seth and Jim Femino. Thanks y'all!
Ready to get out of the comfort zone and thrive? Join us! Options for Supporting the Show: High Rollin' : $10.99 USD - monthly Monkey Up : $6.99 USD - monthly Let's Hear It! : $1.99 USD - monthly

Four years ago, Jason and I met at Woods Hole Oceanographic Institute and started adventuring and "getting healthy doses of unavoidable reality". In this episode, I get off track by telling Jason about a recent story - Canyoneering in Water Holes Canyon - before we get into the meat of the show, using Systems of Decision in Adventure and Life. We also discuss Jason's research into ocean circulation patterns and developing a technology that uses physiological markers to track how far out of the comfort zone you are. We also mentioned the video "Tips for Eating Like a King While Living Like a Tramp" which is live now! On to Episode 009!
Music by Black Lab - so awesome. Thanks to Mevio's Music Alley for sharing!
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Have you thought about trying yoga, but afraid to actually walk into a class? Heather Quinn-Wagner not only gives us insights into the benefits the practice can provide in other aspects of life, but also starts the show off by taking us through some poses! We also discussed the habits you can use to become a writer and the challenges of chasing your dreams.

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    Alright - on to Episode 008!
Music by Shattervox - so awesome! Thanks to Mevio's Music Alley for sharing it.
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