The Buddy System with Chris & Matty

We finally land the #1 best guest, getting arrested in high school, Matty got to pretend he was a Higgins on a father/son trip to Oregon, Elliot’s childhood cannon, rail torpedoes, normal boyhood stuff like exploding train tracks, Chris’s arch nemesis: the seagull, playing tug of war with and eel and then also an octopus, cryptid of the week: the PNW Apecat

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Frog tongue cheeseburger, reading fantasy books vs. animal tracking, rat pocket tailor, Luke and Matty roast Chris’s outfit for six hours, doing a S&P 500 in your pants for hotel dominance, Luke’s extremely dope wolf shirt/the wolves inside us all, Nimrods, posses, hell yeah city

New Episodes every Tuesday!

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Bastille day, march on Versailles, eagle or vulture, profesh executioners, coy wolves, British swan laws, where the christ are all the baby Garys 

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Matty's a bit of a doctor himself, George Washington coulda been a nobody, 4th of July fireworks and fungi, World Cup fans, professional perverts, open wounds in flood water, Frozen is a phenomenal film.

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Matty has spider bones, a man called Grover, Colorado suckholes, White Sox mascot, beautiful brave sons, hogs both small and mangled, Proboscis monkey, Chris doesn’t trust his own ass 

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90s Jock Jams, the World Cup song situation (why Jelly Roll?), the show Alone, a Naked and Afraid snakebite story

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No guest this week, just Chris and Matty hanging out for a summer episode of the Buddy System Podcast. The boys try to figure out if they could draw the United States from memory, get deep into sauna and steam room culture, talk through whether Matty wants kids and how protective he already is of his nieces and nephews, break down why soccer beats lacrosse on pure accessibility, and close out with another Cryptid of the Week.

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Scoochie Boochie (https://www.instagram.com/scoochie_boochie) is back on the Buddy System Podcast, and Chris and Matty barely make it through hello before the three of them are swapping tour bus stories, including the act that got left sleeping under a bridge in Milwaukee. From there it is a full hour of comedy podcast tangents: why nerds keep pairing Magic the Gathering with cocaine, a Christian unicycle family dribbling basketballs for Christ, the fact that every crow sounds like Ron White, whether you could train a dog for the biathlon, and the universal truth that your male cat has nipples. Scoochie shouts out his friend Alex Wannell as Treasure of the Week for talking him through a brown recluse bite, the guys invent a pistol with a single tooth, and somewhere in there katana otters, a fridge full of kimchi, and a plan to dodge the draft all come up before the whole thing lands on the green team.

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Chris and Matty finally do the alien episode, which according to Chris is the moment they officially became a real comedy podcast. They dig into the Age of Disclosure documentary, UAP whistleblowers, the little guys at Area 51, and the global race to reverse-engineer alien tech, before getting sidetracked onto flying cars we never got, AI quietly making everyone dumber, and a dragon cover-up theory that may get them detained. Then Chicago comedian and environmentalist Lucia Whalen (@luciawhalen) joins for her third visit to tell the full story of the car that was definitely stolen until it wasn't, and to bum everyone out (lovingly) about Roundup, Monsanto, and the Supreme Court before talking everyone back off the ledge.

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Our buddy Sam Biru (@morkatabiru) finally pulls up to the Buddy System for the first time, and he earned it: Chicago comic by way of Philadelphia, 2025 JFL New Faces, and one of the best of the new class. Chris and Matty get into the laughing tap to JFL pipeline, the time two grown men with their luggage finished a kids' bingo card at the Milwaukee Bobblehead Museum, and why it is basically impossible to doomscroll the news and then go do standup. From there it is whitewashed history class and the ongoing case that Paul Revere is not real, the Penn State professor who taught nothing, and Sam's acting past, including a play where his only job was to die of a seizure and the time he got booted a week before opening night for bringing beer and hash to rehearsal. Sam runs a live voiceover bit as a 75 year old conspiracy theorist school bus driver, the guys pitch a songless Lord of the Rings, and it all ends with a full Chet Hanks appreciation hour. Comedy, Chicago stand up, and a whole lot of tangents.

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