The Burn

Madison Hager was diagnosed with Stage II breast cancer at 29, just months into the coronavirus pandemic.  Today she reads her piece “The Chocolate Chip Cookie That Broke the Camel’s Back” from Wildfire Magazine’s 2021 “Body” issue.  It’s about facing her pre-cancer demons while simultaneously facing cancer. The modern conception of a cancer survivor is that they are enlightened, and have all the answers to living joyfully and with fulfillment.  But oftentimes, whoever you were before cancer, whatever anxieties or pre-occupations you had before diagnosis, they will still be there. Madison and April will discuss cancer misconceptions, cancer meeting you where you are, illness shaming, and bargaining for measures of control in cancer.  They’ll also touch on how the writing process can transform a question into a path direction. Please note, this episode contains depictions of and discussion around disordered eating, and explicit language.

More about Madison: https://maddyhascancer.com 

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Jessica Wajda was 32 when she was diagnosed with Stage III Triple Negative breast cancer.  Today, Jessica reads her piece “I Still Love You” from Wildfire Magazine’s 2020 “Body” issue. This is not a mainstream cancer story, or one that people are used to hearing.  Jessica says doctor’s gave her just 4 years to live if she didn’t do the rigorous treatment of chemo, surgery, and radiation they prescribed. Jessica decided that wasn’t the path for her. She writes about finding strength within herself to rise up from the fear and listen to her body and intuition to heal in her own way.  Along the way, she discovered a surprising love for her cancer, and herself.  April and Jessica discuss writing with conviction to care for yourself through sharing your truth without worrying what others might think.

More about Jessica: https://www.instagram.com/jessicawajda/

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Today we are going to hear a story about flipping the script with Jen Pogue.  Jen is an actor and producer living in Toronto, Canada. She was diagnosed at 37 with Stage IV Triple Negative metastatic breast cancer.  She reads her piece “My Life is a Movie” from Wildfire Magazine’s 2021 “MBC: Stage IV Survivorship” issue. What happens when cancer comes along and startles you into a starring role in the movie you never wanted to see much less be in? Jen finds what is beautiful in life: being present, letting your heart take the driver’s seat, and realizing what makes you happy. April and Jen discuss reclaiming some power that is lost with a cancer diagnosis through writing, and how cancer is represented in film.  Jen’s piece is included in Wildfire’s upcoming book “Igniting the Fire Within: Stories of Healing, Hope & Humor.”  

More about Jen:

https://www.jpoandco.com

https://www.instagram.com/jpo_in_to/

https://www.facebook.com/poguejen/friends

More about Woman On Screen Out Loud podcast: https://www.womenonscreen.ca/wosoutloud

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Learn about Wildfire writing workshops: https://www.wildfirecommunity.org/workshops

Shop Wildfire merch & more: https://www.wildfirecommunity.org/shop

Certified resilience and leadership coach Melanie Childers was diagnosed at 34 with Stage II, hormone-positive breast cancer.  Today, Melanie reads her piece “No” from Wildfire Magazine’s 2018 “(In)fertility” issue. A decade ago, cancer made Melanie’s fertility choices final. A cancer diagnosis that affects reproductive organs that comes well after menopause is not going to land the same way the same diagnosis will decades prior.  It is heartbreaking, maddening, painful in a way that is hard to articulate.  Melanie wrote her piece 4 years ago, and today has the retrospect of 10 years to share her reflections.  April and Melanie will talk about what processing and grief looks like now and how cancer clarifies life’s path.  They’ll also discuss how writing is a powerful way to process wounds, and allows for a way to revisit previous versions of ourselves when we read our written words later in time.  Melanie’s piece is included in Wildfire’s upcoming book “Igniting the Fire Within: Stories of Healing, Hope & Humor.”  This episode contains explicit language.

More about Melanie and The Bad Bitch Entrepreneur podcast: https://www.melaniechilders.com

https://www.instagram.com/the_underbelly/

More about this episode’s sponsor, “Life Reconstructed” author Kim Harms: https://kimharms.net

Ida Sukrungruang’s essay: https://brevitymag.com/issues/issue-49-may-2015-gender/after-the-hysterectomy/

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Erin Stodola was 28 when she was diagnosed with Stage I Triple Negative breast cancer.  She carries the BRCA1 gene.  Today, Erin reads her piece “The Moments Between” from Wildfire Magazine’s 2020 “Identity & Aftermath” issue.  Erin never gave her breasts much thought or considered them as part of her identity - until she was diagnosed with breast cancer.  Then she thought about them a lot in their natural, reconstructed and absent forms and found a new identity along the way in between each version of her chest.  Erin completed a Masters of Museum Studies program that focused on feminism and anti-colonial curation.  April asks Erin what role, if any, her cancer plays in her museum work when thinking about breasts, identity, beauty standards, and the role of representation in art, academia and popular culture.  Erin’s piece is included in Wildfire’s upcoming book “Igniting the Fire Within: Stories of Healing, Hope & Humor.”

More about Erin: https://www.instagram.com/erinstodola/

More about Wildfire: https://www.wildfirecommunity.org

More about this episode’s sponsor, “Life Reconstructed” author Kim Harms: https://kimharms.net

Mila Knight was 38 when she was diagnosed with Stage II hormone-positive breast cancer.  In this episode Mila reads her piece “Crawling in My Skin” from Wildfire Magazine’s 2021 “Body” issue.  Mila has always turned to music for solace in hard times, so it was no wonder that music also lifted her up while going through cancer treatment. Her journaling turned to song-writing, and then she took her passion and her pain and channeled it into a fundraising concert. April and Mila will discuss the burden of breaking ancestral and generational trauma cycles through sharing previously unspoken experiences, and becoming a patient advocate by shining the light on disparities in healthcare while following her dreams. 

More about Mila: https://www.instagram.com/milaknightsings/

More about Mila's podcast: https://ofsongmind.com/about/

More about Susan G. Komen’s Health Equity Initiative: https://www.komen.org/about-komen/our-impact/breast-cancer/health-equities-initiative/

More about Memorial Sloan Kettering  Immigrant Health and Cancer Disparities (IHCD) Service: https://www.mskcc.org/departments/psychiatry-behavioral-sciences/immigrant-health

Get the free Wildfire email newsletter: https://www.wildfirecommunity.org

Learn about Wildfire writing workshops: https://www.wildfirecommunity.org/workshops

Shop Wildfire merch & more: https://www.wildfirecommunity.org/shop

More about this episode’s sponsor Bright Spot Network:

https://www.brightspotnetwork.org/

Natalie Bello Silva was diagnosed at 27 with Stage II hormone-positive breast cancer. In this episode Natalie reads her piece “Street Light” from Wildfire Magazine’s 2022 “Changemakers” issue.  This issue centered on the ones who have experienced breast cancer themselves, and how that experience has inspired a business to serve the community, making the cancer experience easier for the next person to be diagnosed.  Like Natalie who founded Scarves for Healing, a business that supports women facing hair loss.  April and Natalie will discuss how Natalie’s mom empowered her to be aggressive if cancer is aggressive, turning points, finding your light, being a light, and inspiring light.

More about Natalie and Scarves for Healing: 

https://www.instagram.com/scarvesforhealing/

https://scarvesforhealing.com/collections/all

Get the free Wildfire email newsletter: https://www.wildfirecommunity.org

Learn about Wildfire writing workshops: https://www.wildfirecommunity.org/workshops

Shop Wildfire merch & more: https://www.wildfirecommunity.org/shop

More about this episode’s sponsor Bright Spot Network:

https://www.brightspotnetwork.org/

Ann Camden was diagnosed with Stage III breast cancer at 38. She then had a Stage IV recurrence at 45.  Now at 51, she was diagnosed with leptomeningeal disease - fluid of the brain, spine and many other organs.  She is currently undergoing aggressive treatment.  Ann is a mother of twin teenage girls and married to her college sweetheart, Jeff.  In this episode, Ann reads her piece “Riding Shotgun” from Wildfire Magazine’s 2019 “Love & Intimacy” issue. Ann’s story is about riding shotgun as her husband drives but it’s so much more than that. There are celebrations and heartbreak, big questions, mundane errands, and through it all a beautiful soundtrack.  April and Ann discuss grieving, how Ann talked with her husband about her cancer, the writing process of using memories anchored in sensory detail like music, and legacy writing.  Ann’s essay is included in Wildfire’s upcoming book “Igniting the Fire Within: Stories of Healing, Hope & Humor.”

More about Ann: https://www.instagram.com/anncamdennc/

Ann’s blog: https://down-not-out.com

Get the free Wildfire email newsletter: https://www.wildfirecommunity.org

Learn about Wildfire writing workshops: https://www.wildfirecommunity.org/workshops

Shop Wildfire merch & more: https://www.wildfirecommunity.org/shop

More about this episode’s sponsor Bright Spot Network:

https://www.brightspotnetwork.org/

Note of warning for sensitive listeners, this episode touches on suicidal ideation. Jen Rozenbaum is a photographer and author who was diagnosed at 41 with Stage IIb hormone-positive lobular breast cancer. In this episode Jen reads her piece “The Search to Feel Alive” from Wildfire Magazine’s 2021 “Grief & Acceptance” issue. Jen tackles the hard subject of suicidal ideation, and the difference between being alive and feeling alive. How do you live your life once you are done with breast cancer treatment and declared No Evidence of Disease when the reality is it is an unrecognizable new life littered with the rubble of your pre-diagnosis existence? What if all you want to do is get in bed and never get out? What if you aren’t the badass cancer warrior people think you are?  How do you cope when well-meaning outsiders say “at least you are alive” and “you should be celebrating” but you feel minimized and isolated from those comments?  The breast cancer community is starting to talk more about mental health, anxiety, and depression - but not so much about suicidal ideation.  April will talk more with Jen about survivor’s guilt, and the turning points to find help. 

More about Jen: https://www.instagram.com/jenrozenbaum/

https://jenrozenbaum.com

Jen’s podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/66z9UYVr7oYRMXpNIihhMz

Jen’s book: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/what-the-f-ck-just-happened-a-survivors-guide-to-life-after-breast-cancer-jen-rozenbaum/1138492714

Get the free Wildfire email newsletter: https://www.wildfirecommunity.org

Learn about Wildfire writing workshops: https://www.wildfirecommunity.org/workshops

Shop Wildfire merch & more: https://www.wildfirecommunity.org/shop

More about this episode’s sponsor Bright Spot Network:

https://www.brightspotnetwork.org/

Tracy Cushing had been practicing emergency medicine for 19 years and then one day that shifted and she became a cancer patient. In this episode, Tracy reads her piece “What My Medical File Won’t Tell You” from Wildfire Magazine’s 2021 “Body” issue.  Tracy was diagnosed at 45 with Stage 2 lobular breast cancer. This is the story of one woman taking back her medical file to fill in the gaps, all the while asking how, as she dons the title of survivor, she can keep her identity as an athlete, too.  Tracy also talks with April about being lobular in a ductal focused treatment world, and her advocacy in the lobular breast cancer arena.  More about Tracy: https://www.instagram.com/tracycrushescancer/ and https://www.instagram.com/vegandoctormom/

Get the free Wildfire email newsletter: https://www.wildfirecommunity.org

Learn about Wildfire writing workshops: https://www.wildfirecommunity.org/workshops

Shop Wildfire merch & more: https://www.wildfirecommunity.org/shop

More about Lobular Breast Cancer Alliance: https://lobularbreastcancer.org

More about SheStrong: https://shestronginc.com