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Part 2: What to do when you can't escape overstimulation.

Harm reduction strategies. "I love you AND I need a break" not "I love you BUT." Why it's a privilege to be able to leave. Accessibility barriers. Don't ask "what happened?" in the moment - they can't articulate it.

Also: sensory craving. Em needs the beach the way a lizard needs a hot rock. The parking lot, the beach man, the Music Pier bathrooms, the pizza guy who remembers her, the post-beach everything shower with aloe gel. Been going since age 2. Familiarity is energizing. "This is hell. I live in hell." (It was rainy.)

Plus: jug handles, shore vs beach, and why you gotta take a right turn before you take a right turn.

"I'm just a glorified lizard."

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Em and Elliott break down what overstimulation actually means (it's not just "too loud"), what it feels like, what causes it, and what stimming is. Also: why Elliott can't handle temperatures above 72 degrees, why Em wants to peel her skin off sometimes, and the echolalia that got Elliott in trouble for years.

Part 1 of 2.

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ADHD superlatives: giving each other awards!

Most forgotten passwords. Most browser tabs open simultaneously (at least 12 per window across multiple windows with groups). Best customer service mask performance. Most likely to cry at the dinner table.

Also: the time Elliott threw his physics test in the trash and convinced the teacher they lost it, the time Em played Skyrim for "30 minutes," and why she once accidentally ended up in Wyoming.

Plus: executive dysfunction recovery stories, the eldest daughter emergency override, and why Em's RBF is now a trusted vibe check.

Drop your most chaotic ADHD moment. Which superlatives would you win?

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Episode 10: Parenting Neurodivergent Kids (Part 3 of 3)

Em and Elliott talk about recognizing the signs, fighting for accommodations, homeschooling disasters, and teaching their kids things they're still learning themselves. Also: why grades don't matter, why patience isn't a bottomless well, and why their 8-year-old is already worried about his future wife.

Part 3 of the ADHD lifespan series.

In this episode:

• Early signs
• School system struggles
• The homeschool year
• 504 accommodations
• Teaching them what you're still learning
• "As it turns out, children are people"
• The grades conversation
• Losing patience
• What they want them to know
• Z already planning his marriage
• What they hope is different
• The ongoing reality

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This episode was supposed to be about what ADHD looks like in adulthood. It ended up being about grief, identity, bad brain weeks, and why April Fool's Day is the worst day of the year.

Em and Elliott tried. They really did. But Em is in a valley week after a peak week, it's April 1st (a day she hates), and the conversation kept drifting into harder territory than they expected.

What they meant to talk about:

• How ADHD shows up differently as adults vs. kids
• Masking in adulthood
• The ongoing unmasking process
• How adult responsibilities interact with ADHD

What they actually talked about:

• The "peaked in high school" feeling
• The ADHD roller coaster
• April Fool's Day rage
• The grief no one talks about
• Masking and identity
• The fantasy of outsourcing executive function

They acknowledge this one got away from them:

• "We have not been on any rails. This is a rail-less episode."
• "We really biffed it on this one."
• "This is as real as it gets. We will try again next week."

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Em and Elliott talk about what ADHD looked like before they knew it was ADHD. The masking, the shame messaging, the cost of not knowing. And why Em finally stopped blaming her parents for things that might not have been parenting at all.

This is part 1 of a 3-part series on ADHD through the lifespan: childhood, adulthood, and parenting neurodivergent kids.

In this episode:

• The "crybaby" realization
• High-achieving maskers
• The glass child
• What masking looked like
• The cost of not knowing
• What they wish adults had understood
• The ongoing unlearning

Key insight: You can't out-parent neurodivergence. Even with all the knowledge and 504 plans, struggles still exist.

Next episode: Part 2 - What ADHD looks like now as adults

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Elliott and Em rate ADHD coping mechanisms from S-tier (life-changing) to F-tier (actively made things worse). Some ratings surprised them. Some mechanisms got very personal. And Em delivered her hottest take yet about a digital bird.

In this episode:

The S-Tier (Life-changing):

• Notion (for Em)
• Body doubling (for Em)
• Medication (both)
• Therapy/coaching (Em)

The F-Tier (Do not recommend):

• Physical planners (Em: "F tier immediately")
• Time blocking (Em's PDA + time blindness combo)
• Habit stacking (need habits to stack them)
• Things in weird places strategy
• Buying duplicates on purpose (vs. accidentally having 6 ketchup bottles)

Unexpected moments:

• They both rated Pomodoro technique C-tier at the same time
• The clothing/sensory vulnerability conversation (trigger warning: weight talk)
• Em's relationship with ADHD gamification apps: "I don't give a fuck about that bird"
• Elliott wants to try visual timers
• Voice memos work great for Em, not at all for Elliott
• The doom box gets a D but they both still use it

Key insight: What works is wildly personal. Post-it notes are A-tier for Elliott, B-tier for Em. Time blocking is necessary for Elliott's work, F-tier rage-inducing for Em.

Quotable moments:

• "I don't give a fuck about that bird"
• "My bean is destitute, living in squalor"
• "How dare past Emilee tell current me what to do?"

Also discussed: The financial advisor meeting with Kari where they rated financial priorities at the same time, why laying out clothes the night before backfires with sensory issues, and why accountability partners can trigger rejection feelings.

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In episode 5, Em said you can't hack your way out of burnout. Today, she's talking about what actually DOES help - and why that's complicated. T

This one's hard to record because Em is currently still healing from burnout.

Talking about burnout while in burnout feels like trying to explain how to get out of quicksand while you're still in it. But maybe that's exactly why this conversation matters.

In this episode:

• What burnout actually is (not just tired, not just needing a vacation)
• How neurodivergent burnout looks different (ADHD burnout vs. autistic burnout)
• Why "just take a mental health day" doesn't work
• The trial and error of figuring out what helps
• What HASN'T worked (spoiler: playing video games for 12 hours after a weekend didn't fix it)
• Why this shows up differently for so many people
• The mistakes you have to make to figure it out

Key insight: Most people have experienced burnout to varying degrees - which means most people are also trying to figure out what works through trial and error.

Reality check: As it turns out, playing your favorite video game for 12 hours hasn't fixed the burnout. But we live and we learn. And maybe that works for someone else - if that's the case, lucky duck.

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