The Change Effect - Inspiration and Strategies for Creating Success on Your Own Terms

The Laws of the Universe have truly allowed me to view the things that show up in my life in a different light. I’ve come to realize that when it comes to creating change in our lives, the way you show up has a huge effect on how successful you will be at achieving the outcomes you desire. The laws I cover today offer a perspective that can be extremely helpful when it comes to calling in abundance and greater fulfillment in your life. This week on Journeys Through Change, I’m talking about how you can use the laws of the universe to create more abundance in your life.

In this episode, I decided to give you just the highlights of these 12 laws. So if one or more jump out at you, write them down so you can start recognizing how they show up for you and how you can apply them moving forward. 

The Laws of the Universe I cover in this episode are:

1. The Law of Divine Oneness: This highlights the interconnectedness of all things.  
2. The Law of Vibration: Since all matter and personal energy are in constant motion, they vibrate at a specific frequency. This means our personal energy affects our experience. 
3. The Law of Correspondence: Patterns repeat throughout the universe and on a personal level; our reality mirrors what is happening inside us.
4. The Law of Attraction: Commonly used for manifestation, in its simplest form “like attracts like” and thus, you get what you focus on, whether positive or negative. 
5. The Law of Inspired Action: This means we are to take real actionable steps to attract what we want, not just manifest them.
6. The Law of Perpetual Transmutation of Energy: On an energetic level, everything is constantly evolving or fluctuating. Every action is proceeded by a thought that has the power to manifest into our physical reality. 
7. The Law of Cause and Effect: There is a direct correlation between actions and events. 
8. The Law of Compensation: This reinforces the concept of cause and effect by emphasizing the idea that you reap what you sow. 
9. The Law of Relativity: Relativity exists in all things but in the end, the meaning comes down to our own perspective and perceptions of things. 
10. The Law of Polarity: Everything in life has an opposite, thus, there are always two sides to the same coin. 
11. The Law of Rythm: Cycles are a natural part of the universe. It’s important to work with the flow of these cycles instead of resisting them.  
12. The Law of Gender: Either masculine or feminine energy exists in all things. Finding the balance between energies allows you to draw from each and life your life with greater clarity and authenticity. 

Understanding these laws helps us have a better understanding of how the world works and how we fit into the greater whole while being mindful of the energy we’re putting into the universe. 

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It’s often difficult to connect the dots when it comes to the family dynamics that shaped us into the adults we are today. Whether we had parents who were hands-on, hands-off, physically present or absent, the relationships we have with our mother and father as well as the role models we had within our family set the foundation for who we become later in life. This week on Journeys Through Change, my guest Marie Selleck and I are talking about how understanding her family dynamics led her to help women break unhealthy cycles in motherhood!

Marie Selleck grew up surrounded by generations of strong women and credits her ability to understand the layers of complexity within families to her ongoing curiosity and interest in understanding her own. She is a licensed therapist and an empowerment coach who specializes in helping mothers break unhealthy cycles that began in their childhood. Drawing on her professional training combined with personal experience, she guides mothers through a healing journey to become the grounded, present parent they aspire to be — empowering them to end intergenerational trauma and create new family legacies rooted in emotional health and connection.

In this episode, Marie and I discuss:

• How having both a present and absent parent gave her the perspective to better help her clients. 
• The ways having an absent parent in childhood culminates into your adult experiences, especially after becoming a parent yourself.
• Breaking the cycle of trauma by understanding the difference between natural and manufactured emotions, and rewriting your manufactured beliefs.
• Having self-compassion for your experiences, feelings, and journey to healing. 

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Do you ever take the time to think about how our upbringing molds and shapes us into the people we are today? Some of us end up following in our parent’s footsteps when it comes to our careers, others carve out a life that looks completely different, and others let the seed that was planted long ago lead them down a path that honors both of their passions in different ways. Today’s guest did just that. This week on Journeys Through Change, my guest Tsao-Lin Moy and I are talking about how her parents’ cultural backgrounds influenced her passion and career as an integrative healer. 

Tsao-Lin Moy has over 21 years of experience as an expert in alternative and Chinese medicine. She is the founder of Integrative Healing Arts which utilizes Chinese medicine, acupuncture, herbal medicine, and energy healing to treat patients. Tsao’s holistic approach integrates ancient Eastern philosophy and healing methods with Western scientific paradigms of health. This powerful combination helps each patient learn how to heal so they can take charge of their health destiny.

In this episode, Tsao and I discuss:

• Tsao’s early start in medicine- from shadowing her father’s practice to working in a hospital herself at a young age. 
• Transitioning from a corporate career in fashion to practicing alternative and Chinese medicine.
• Tsao’s holistic, whole-body approach to fertility. 
• Using psychedelic assisted therapy to help patients work past trauma and mental illness. 
• Finding the balance between Eastern and Western medicines for the best treatment. 

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We’ve talked before about recognizing the beliefs that can hold us back but we also need to take a closer look at the relationships we have in our lives and how they can either help us make important leaps to continue to make improvements or subtly drag us down and get in the way of progress. This week on Journeys Through Change, I’m sharing how independence strengthens our ability to ask for more.

In this episode, I discuss:

• 3 ways we operate in the world when it comes to our personal and professional relationships- independently, interdependently, and co-dependently. 
• The damaging dynamics of control and dependence in unhealthy relationships that are often disguised as love or protection. 
• Areas where codependence can show up the most in our lives. 
• Practices we can use and things to consider when working to become more independent.
• The internal and external challenges you may face when becoming more independent. 

Questions to ask yourself to know if you’re in a relationship that is not supportive of your independence:

• Does this person hold your finances, career opportunities or feelings of self esteem in their hands?
• Do you feel heard after you discuss difficult topics?
• Do you rely on this person for the answers? if so, how often? 
• Does their behavior or words affect how you feel about your capabilities?
• Do you feel a sense of dread or lack of validation when they are not around? 
• Do you take direction regularly from them?
• Do you feel smart and capable around them? Rely on them to ‘take care of it”
• How free do you feel you can state your needs?
• Do you feel you have permission to make decisions without their input?
• How open do you think they would be to support you if you made more decisions on your own?

Just remember, independence can look different for each of us and is the first step in shedding the old behavior and mindset and growing into the person we were meant to become.

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Although common, infertility isn’t the only reason someone might find themselves childless- not by choice. There are endless reasons someone might be grieving the family they had longed for and are struggling to find community, understanding and support.Today’s guest shares how she pulled from her own experience grieving the children she hoped to have to help others find fulfillment in their own lives. This week on Journeys Through Change, my guest Sarah Jane Smith and I are talking about how her grief from infertility moved her to guide women to live meaningful lives even without the children they wanted.

Sarah Jane Smith always wanted to become a mother. After multiple pregnancy losses, unexplained infertility and a chronic illness that led to a hysterectomy, she was forced to face the heartbreak of a shattered dream with no guidance to pick up the pieces. On her path to healing, she used her experience as a seasoned yoga and meditation instructor to start creating a relationship with her grief, making friends with her body, practicing self-compassion and finding others who could relate to her experience as the catalyst for change that enabled her to move forward in her life. She is an embodiment teacher, coach and grief tender who helps fellow childless not by choice women integrate grief, amplify agency and embody possibility so they can live a meaningful life even without the children they wanted. 

In this episode, Sarah Jane and I discuss:

• The unexpected mix of grief and relief Sarah felt when the choice and ability to have children was taken from her.  
• Giving yourself permission to take the time and space necessary to process your emotions.  
• Incorporating both body and mind in your healing journey and using yoga as a way to take back the choice over your body. 
• How Sarah has taken her personal experiences and used them to create a safe and comfortable environment for other childless women.

If you enjoyed this episode don’t forget to follow, rate, and review the podcast and tell me what resonated with you.

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Limiting beliefs are a culmination of all the messages we’ve picked up over the years about humility, work ethic, worthiness, and everything else that makes us question what is possible for us. The only way to level up is to interrupt these thought patterns and let go of the ideas that are no longer serving us so that we can step into the next level of connection, fulfillment, and joy in our lives. This week on Journeys Through Change, I’m sharing how you can free yourself from perceived limitations to invite MORE into your life.

In this episode, I discuss:

• How the limiting beliefs we have picked up along the course of our lives act as roadblocks, keeping us from going past the set point we have established for ourselves.
• Examples of common thoughts you might have that could use some reprogramming. 
• Ways you can challenge your limiting beliefs and break free of the cycle. 
• Questions to ask yourself (& maybe journal about) to look at your life from a different perspective.

With awareness, comes freedom. What limiting beliefs are holding you back from leveling up to the next stage of your life?

If you’re interested in starting your journaling practice for the new year, go to daybydaybook.com and get 25% off all Daybooks with the discount code - Podcast25. 

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Content Warning: This episode mentions abuse, child sexual abuse, child neglect, suicidal ideations, and suicidal attempts. 

Having a nurturing and stable upbringing is something too many of us take for granted. And growing up with a single parent in the throes of addiction can shape and mold a young, impressionable girl in many ways. This week on Journeys Through Change, I am joined by guest Tynitria Portis as she shares how she transformed her experience growing up around addiction, neglect and abuse into a beacon of hope for others. 

Tynitria Portis grew up with an alcoholic mother who abandoned her at the age of 5 – leaving her to care for her younger siblings while struggling to find stability within the chaos of emotional, mental, physical, and sexual abuse. Over the years, she experienced challenges in relationships and after coming to terms with her own infidelity, she credits years of therapy along with a strong will to break the patterns of generational dysfunction for helping her grow into the woman she is today. 

Now, as a spiritual leader and confidence coach, she now helps others gain the confidence to channel the pain caused by past trauma into creating greater purpose in their lives. Tynitria is a Spiritual Leader and Confidence Coach for black men and women who have the ambition to create their own opportunities and the passion to experience greater fulfillment in life. She is also a woman of God, a devoted wife, a mother of 2 boys, and an author. She specializes in helping her clients get out of the survival mentality and into a mindset of prosperity.

In this episode, Tynitria and I discuss:

• How the circumstances of her upbringing influenced every decision she made into her adulthood. 
• Breaking the cycle of addiction and abuse by using therapy as a tool to heal and teach her children a different path. 
• Finding forgiveness and healing with her mother later in life.
• Letting her past guide her as she helps others heal from their childhood trauma. 
• Lessons learned on her path of transformation. 

If you or someone you know is experiencing abuse, you can reach out to the Rape, Abuse and Incest national network by  visiting online.rainn.org to chat one-on-one with a trained RAINN support specialist, any time 24/7.

Chat one-on-one with a RAINN support specialist to access a range of free services including:

·       Confidential support from a trained support specialist

·       Someone to help you talk through what happened

·       Resources that can assist with your next steps toward healing and recovery

·       Referrals for long term support in your area

·       Information about the laws and resources in your community

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Journaling might seem like a thing of the past, or simply too time consuming, but there are lasting benefits to the practice that are often overlooked. With anxiety and depression on the rise, it’s critical now more than ever to do what we can to support our emotional balance every day and that’s where journaling comes in. Even devoting 5 minutes a day to this powerful practice can yield results. This week on Journeys Through Change, I’m talking about the surprising benefits of journaling and a unique tool to keep it simple.

In this episode, I discuss:

• How I started my practice of journaling and the role it played in my sobriety.
• Scientifically proven benefits of journaling for your mental health.
• Revisiting your journal entries to become an observer of your life and see things from a different perspective.
• Writing as a way to activate and exercise thought pathways in your brain.
• 3 things to keep in mind as you start your journey with journaling.

Not sure where to begin? Here are some prompts to get you started: 

• I’d like to live by these words…
• Unconditional love in my life looks like…
• I do not want to think about living without…
• I’d like to tell my teenage self…
• I’ll never forget these two moments in my life…
• These are the top 30 things that make me smile…
• I’d like people to know this about me…
• I would like to say yes to…
• My first love was…
• I am happy in my own skin when…
• My body is telling me…
• All the things I love about life…
• The last time my work was really satisfying to me…
• These 10 words describe me…
• These things inspire me…
• The lesson I take away from my biggest mistake is…
• I would like to say no to…
• I’m most energized when…

If you’re interested in learning more about the Day by Daybook, head to daybydaybook.com and use the code ‘Podcast25’ for 25% off!

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Content Warning: This episode contains discussions of sexual assault.  

Trauma can often be suppressed for years until something can cause the past to resurface, forcing it to be faced head-on in order to heal. Over 40% of women encounter sexual assault making it the most prevalent and unreported crime in the US. Today’s guest, Melissa Lombardo knows firsthand the fear that keeps so many from reporting their sexual assault and the lasting trauma that lingers when left unhealed. This week on Journeys Through Change, Melissa and I are talking about how her journey of healing from sexual assault led her to help others face past trauma with greater strength and courage.

Melissa Lombardo knows first-hand the silence surrounding the topic of sexual violence. She experienced a sexual assault during college in the early 2000s and through fear of retaliation, it went unreported. It was not until years later when her family moved back to her hometown that she realized her past trauma was holding her back from moving forward and she needed to do the work to begin to heal. 

She soon heard a whisper telling her she needed to get her voice out there so she joined a writer’s group, became a certified sexual assault crisis advocate with the same organization that helped her 20 years post-assault, and recently published Hurt, Healing and Hope – Thriving Beyond Sexual Assault - a book and interwoven performance piece to support the healing of those who have faced their own trauma. 

In this episode, Melissa and I discuss:

• The fear, shame, and sometimes denial that prevent so many individuals from coming forward to report sexual assault. 
• Finding support in friends and family who hold space for you even before you’re ready to open up.
• The ways that Melissa’s underlying trauma resurfaced in unexpected ways throughout her healing journey. 
• How her work in the service of others led her to travel the world and meet her husband.
• Using her experiences to create resources and help others navigate their own trauma.     

If you enjoyed this episode don’t forget to follow, rate, and review the podcast and tell me what resonated with you.

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Find Hurt, Healing and Hope: Thriving Beyond Sexual Assault and other resources on her Etsy page

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There are often 4 distinct emotional states that we experience when dealing with uncertainty or change in our lives. Each state represents where we are emotionally and takes us through a natural progression the more invested we become in our situation. This week on Journeys Through Change, I’m talking about hope, faith, belief, and knowing- the four levels of commitment when facing change.

In this episode, I discuss:

• What each of the 4 stages are and how to know you’re in them. 
• How each of these levels of commitment showed up in my own journey of change.
• Ways that we can strengthen our hope, faith, belief, and knowing.

Keep in mind that this journey is not always linear. Trust the process and be open to letting your journey unfold on your own time and in your own way.

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