The Clearing - Honest Conversations For Men In Midlife.

You get handed a tiny human after two days in hospital and sent home with basically no instructions. In this episode, Matt and Karl trade the reality of parenting through midlife — Matt's two grown daughters navigating early adulthood after a divorce and a genuinely dark chapter, and Karl's two young, neurodivergent boys turning his mornings upside down before he's even had coffee. It's funny, unguarded, and occasionally brutal in its honesty about the parts of parenting nobody puts on a Christmas card.

Matt and Karl compare notes across very different stages of the same journey — from newborn shock to teenage pressure cookers to the strange, bittersweet moment when your kids become your friends. They talk candidly about divorce and co-parenting, about the hormonal chaos of andropause and perimenopause landing at the same time as puberty and tantrums, and about the family rituals — meetings, posters on the fridge, deliberate presence — that Karl and his wife use to hold it all together. Matt reflects on regret, on what he'd do differently, and on the quiet gold of realising the relationship has become a two-way street.

Thought-provoking, honest, and occasionally very funny.

The Clearing is a space for men navigating the questions that don't come with easy answers.

We would love to hear from you, with your practices, and/or any questions you might have around self care.

Email us at [email protected]

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I this episode Matt and Karl discuss midlife family relationships, especially changing dynamics with aging parents.

Karl shares that both parents died within ten months—his mother died suddenly on Christmas Day and his father died soon after from stage-four cancer—describing their yin-and-yang personalities, the toll of a difficult relationship with his father, and how their influence continues after death, strengthening his bond with his sisters.

Matt describes an estranged father who has died and a mother with dementia now in a nursing home after safety concerns, requiring him to enact power of attorney, manage finances, plan to sell her home, and handle the emotional impact of caring for a parent who abused him.

They emphasize the inevitability of these cycles, encourage men to talk about them, and mention sharing support resources in show notes.

Thought-provoking, honest, and occasionally very funny.

The Clearing is a space for men navigating the questions that don't come with easy answers.

We would love to hear from you, with your practices, and/or any questions you might have around self care.

Email us at [email protected]

Follows us here:

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Picture the train carriage where ninety percent of people are staring at a phone, or the pub where twenty strangers gather because one person decided to be the protagonist. In this episode, Matt and Karl tackle something they're calling social fitness — the idea that connection isn't a fixed trait you either have or don't, but a muscle you can train, just like the one you're chasing at the gym.

Matt and Karl explore why so many men are quietly running on empty when it comes to friendship, and what to actually do about it. They talk through the idea of a "social battery," why introverts and extroverts start from different places but can both build the muscle, and why men in particular tend to keep connection at a superficial, surface-level distance. There's real talk about the loneliness statistics behind this, the outsized role a partner often plays as a man's only emotional outlet, and practical, low-pressure ways to start showing up — from joining an existing interest group to being brave enough to start your own.

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The Clearing: real conversations for men navigating the questions that don't have easy answers.

Thought-provoking, honest, and occasionally very funny.

The Clearing is a space for men navigating the questions that don't come with easy answers.

We would love to hear from you, with your practices, and/or any questions you might have around self care.

Email us at [email protected]

Follows us here:

Instagram

Website

There's a particular kind of ache that comes from a friendship gone sour — not a dramatic blowup, but a slow erosion, a creeping dread before you see their name pop up on your phone. In this episode, Matt and Karl sit with the friendships that didn't make it: the hedonistic ones that burned bright and faded, the ones that quietly turned toxic, and the ones worth fighting to save. It's an honest, occasionally sweary conversation about what happens when the people we love start to drain us instead of lift us.

Matt and Karl unpack the difference between a friendship that's simply run its season and one that's become genuinely harmful — and why we're so quick to reach for the word "toxic" when the truth is usually messier. They dig into boundaries, nonviolent communication as a tool for the hard conversations, and the idea that our reaction to a friend often says more about our own unresolved stuff than it does about them. Matt shares a personal framework for endings — "flooding with love" — a way of honouring what was good even as a relationship closes.

Honest, unflinching, and unexpectedly tender — this one asks men to look at their own reflection before pointing the finger.

The Clearing: real conversations for men navigating the questions that don't have easy answers.

Thought-provoking, honest, and occasionally very funny.

The Clearing is a space for men navigating the questions that don't come with easy answers.

We would love to hear from you, with your practices, and/or any questions you might have around self care.

Email us at [email protected]

Follows us here:

Instagram

Website

Friendship is much more than a mere social formality; it is the fabric that grounds us, supports us, and guides us through the complex journey of human existence. 

In today's world, where the synthetic often seems to overshadow the organic, the deep resonance and fulfillment that genuine human connections offer become even more significant. Beyond social formalities, the essence of true friendship lies in acceptance, trust, and the shared journey through both life's highs and lows.

### Why Friends Matter Now

In our podcast, Matt and Karl explore the multifaceted nature of friendships, emphasizing that while we might have countless acquaintances, it's the genuine bonds that truly impact us. These are people who embrace even the shadowy parts of our personalities. Friendships built over time are layered with tolerance, forgiveness, and kindness, elements that bind us together in profound ways.

### Different Flavors of Friendship

Friendships don't always follow a single pattern. They are like a rich tapestry of different flavors and shades. We may not always agree or share the same interests, but that diversity is what creates harmony within those relationships. The key is recognizing and celebrating these differences, forging connections that are based on multiple threads of mutual respect and understanding.

### Threads, Seasons, and the Shifting Nature of Friendships

As we wander through the seasons of our lives, friendships ebb and flow. Sometimes, circumstances change, leading to a natural evolution of relationships. What might begin as a deal friendship, bound by common interests or activities, can deepen into a real friendship—a bond that transcends mere convenience and enters the realm of profound mutual support.

### Men's Circles and Loneliness

Another critical area we delved into was the isolation faced by men today. Men's Mental Health Awareness Month reminds us of the importance of maintaining connections. We all crave a space where we can be vulnerable, share laughter, or endure life's challenges together. By participating in men's circles like The Clearing, we forge meaningful ties that stave off loneliness and cultivate community.

### Finding Your Tribe

It's vital to find your tribe—those who share your passions, whether they be for sports, music, or more niche interests like stamp collecting or surfing. These shared experiences serve as bridges, powerful enough to connect people from divergent backgrounds. Remember, every friendship starts with the simple act of reaching out.

### Reach Out and Reconnect

With the world rapidly changing around us, it's important to be proactive in our friendships. A simple message to an old friend can reignite bonds, reminding both parties of the value and depth of their connection. So, why not pick up the phone today and rekindle a friendship? It could lead to something truly enriching.

### Subscribe and Stay Connected

To stay updated with our podcast and engage with more content on nurturing friendships and personal growth, subscribe to our podcast. Visit our website for details on events and new episodes. Contribute to the dialogue on LinkedIn or follow us on Instagram for visual stories. We look forward to connecting with you in The Clearing.

Thought-provoking, honest, and occasionally very funny.

The Clearing is a space for men navigating the questions that don't come with easy answers.

We would love to hear from you, with your practices, and/or any questions you might have around self care.

Email us at [email protected]

Follows us here:

Instagram

Website

In this 3rd episode covering the theme of AI in our lives Matt and Karl discuss how to respond optimistically to AI, especially fears about changing jobs, data use, and truth, while noting benefits like faster research and reduced regulatory timelines in areas such as vaccines.

They argue that uniquely human strengths—storytelling, empathy/feeling, personality, and consciousness (noticing, awareness, connection)—remain valuable and cannot be truly synthesized, even if AI can mimic them through prompts.

They emphasize continued frustration with automated customer service and a growing desire for “made by humans” trust marks in creative work.

The conversation centers on the importance of community and in-person “collisions” that spark collaboration, citing examples from Japan, workplace design, and shared cultural celebrations like music and football.

This evening is for answers.

Join us for a 2 hour, small group, in person gathering in Shoreham. The evening will be led by Jeevan Thandi, founder of shoreham.tech, providing digital inclusion, coding & AI training for Shoreham-by-Sea.

This event is for anyone who wants to get genuinely comfortable with AI — without the hype, without the overwhelm, and without feeling like the least qualified person in the room. All experience levels are welcome. Whether you're running a small business, working for yourself, or just trying to make sense of what's happening.

What we'll cover:

Expect open conversation, live demos, and honest answers.

You'll leave with:

All ticket sales will be donated to TechResort (https://techresort.org/what-we-do/) A digital inclusion charity in East Sussex.

Thought-provoking, honest, and occasionally very funny.

The Clearing is a space for men navigating the questions that don't come with easy answers.

We would love to hear from you, with your practices, and/or any questions you might have around self care.

Email us at [email protected]

Follows us here:

Instagram

Website

In their second of several conversations about AI, Matt and Karl move from everyday use of tools like Claude and ChatGPT to the more anxiety-inducing threats:

how flattering, appeasing bots can become more addictive than doomscrolling because they deliver both praise and high-speed output,

blurring boundaries at home and sparking “are you here with me or with the robot?” tensions.

They discuss how AI may soon feel like a constant presence in family life, and extend the worry into workplaces where agentive AI is already challenging roles in professional services and customer service, raising fears about redundancy, reskilling too slowly, and the shifting meaning of value and work.

They question who is steering AI’s direction—unelected actors with massive power and unclear agendas—and close with practical advice to unplug, reconnect with people and nature, set device-free boundaries, and attend an in-person AI event on June 24 at Shoreham Yacht Club to learn healthier ways to engage with the technology.

This evening is for answers.

Join us for a 2 hour, small group, in person gathering in Shoreham. The evening will be led by Jeevan Thandi, founder of shoreham.tech, providing digital inclusion, coding & AI training for Shoreham-by-Sea.

This event is for anyone who wants to get genuinely comfortable with AI — without the hype, without the overwhelm, and without feeling like the least qualified person in the room. All experience levels are welcome. Whether you're running a small business, working for yourself, or just trying to make sense of what's happening.

What we'll cover:

Expect open conversation, live demos, and honest answers.

You'll leave with:

All ticket sales will be donated to TechResort (https://techresort.org/what-we-do/) A digital inclusion charity in East Sussex.

Thought-provoking, honest, and occasionally very funny.

The Clearing is a space for men navigating the questions that don't come with easy answers.

We would love to hear from you, with your practices, and/or any questions you might have around self care.

Email us at [email protected]

Follows us here:

Instagram

Website

This evening is for answers.

Join us for a 2 hour, small group, in person gathering in Shoreham. The evening will be led by Jeevan Thandi, founder of shoreham.tech, providing digital inclusion, coding & AI training for Shoreham-by-Sea.

This event is for anyone who wants to get genuinely comfortable with AI — without the hype, without the overwhelm, and without feeling like the least qualified person in the room. All experience levels are welcome. Whether you're running a small business, working for yourself, or just trying to make sense of what's happening.

What we'll cover:

Expect open conversation, live demos, and honest answers.

You'll leave with:

All ticket sales will be donated to TechResort (https://techresort.org/what-we-do/) A digital inclusion charity in East Sussex.

Thought-provoking, honest, and occasionally very funny.

The Clearing is a space for men navigating the questions that don't come with easy answers.

We would love to hear from you, with your practices, and/or any questions you might have around self care.

Email us at [email protected]

Follows us here:

Instagram

Website

In this podcast episode, Matt and Karl continue to explore the theme of work and relationships.  They cover fulfilment beyond the financial transaction of work, focusing on meaning, contentment, and purpose in midlife careers.

They distinguish short-term gratification (dopamine rewards like bonuses, praise, and milestones) from longer-term satisfaction (deeper emotional nourishment and alignment with values), and discuss how people can be anesthetized to long-term dissatisfaction by repeated short-term rewards, including examples from sales, recruitment-style bonus cultures, and “golden handcuffs” in banking.

Matt shares a personal journey from rapid career rise and material accumulation to questioning “Is this it?” and pivoting through multiple careers toward intrinsic motivation and health as key currencies.

They both reference sabbaticals as a way to redistribute “retirement” across life, introduce “Sniper’s Alley” (50–60) as a period of health risks and mortality awareness, and close with gratitude moments from clinical work and a men’s circle where vulnerability created connection and mentorship.

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Thought-provoking, honest, and occasionally very funny.

The Clearing is a space for men navigating the questions that don't come with easy answers.

We would love to hear from you, with your practices, and/or any questions you might have around self care.

Email us at [email protected]

Follows us here:

Instagram

Website

In this podcast episode, Matt and Karl continue a series on work, moving from identity to interpersonal relationships and how midlife men navigate colleagues, clients, and hybrid working.

Karl describes running a solo pelvic pain clinic with patients aged 18–88 and how the pandemic forced a shift from hands-on sessions to telehealth, expanding his reach globally while coinciding with increased client suicidality, his own mental-health strain, homeschooling demands, and coping through drinking, smoking, and drugs.

They discuss generational differences in remote work, blurred boundaries between colleagues and friends, and how AI both threatens and creates opportunities, including the idea of an “AI Karl” available 24/7. Practical tools include strengths-based team exercises with role-play, mapping workplace relationships by energy and interaction frequency, and using non-violent communication to improve difficult interactions, emphasizing midlife contributions of mentorship and “eldership.”

....

Thought-provoking, honest, and occasionally very funny.

The Clearing is a space for men navigating the questions that don't come with easy answers.

We would love to hear from you, with your practices, and/or any questions you might have around self care.

Email us at [email protected]

Follows us here:

Instagram

Website