The ClearOut

In this episode, once he's finished breaking down, and being revolted by, the animal dynamics at Hashtag Blessed, Dara launches into a deep dive of conflict (20' 43"), taking as a first reference point an article on anger by A.C. Grayling (27' 31"). From there he ponders the concept of dehumanisation (36' 24") in the context of conflict.

He argues for the necessity of truth (45' 37") and its bedfellows, honesty and courage, as vital components of conflict resolution. That leads to a look at forgiveness and contrition (52' 48") and whether they are codependent.

Dara moves on to look at the outcomes of attempted reconciliation in the historic Northern Irish and South African conflicts (56' 56"), before finally returning to a central tenet of sustainable wellness - the forgiveness of self (72' 25").

Along the way there are references to Pixar's Finding Nemo and Up, as well as Wolfgang Petersen's epic, Troy, and Alfred Hitchcock's Foreign Correspondent.

The Rise (and Fall?) of Reconciliation in Northern Ireland - Peace Research article by Duncan Morrow 2012

The Truth and Reconciliation Report - South Africa (PDF)

A.C. Grayling, philosopher and writer

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In this episode Dara stays firmly in mental health territory and discusses at length our fear of the dark side of ourselves. He talks about the unexpressed and the uncomfortable and argues for disciplined, non-hysterical acceptance of the parts of ourselves that make us turn away.

He reflects on the aspects of his own behaviour and personality that concern him and falls back once more on embedded positive practices as the cornerstone of his coping strategy.

Finally he wonders about social dark areas, cultural blind spots and conspiracies of silence. It all sounds very dark, but he tries to keep it light!

My piece on darkness: https://theclearout.com/2016/02/15/whos-afraid-of-the-dark/

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In this episode Dara explores the American father as captured in TV sensations The Sopranos and Breaking Bad. He also looks at Arthur Miller's theatre masterworks Death of a Salesman and All My Sons before briefly visiting old Hollywood depictions of idealised fathers, both with and without collars!

He resists the sentimentalisation of fatherhood and critiques his own patterns of behaviour as a father before moving on to discuss a disturbing revelation about the abuse perpetrated by the Catholic Church in France. This leads to an examination of institutions as proxy fathers and the implications of their failure.

The episode concludes with Dara talking about his own father and reading a poem about him that is an exploration of ageing, memory loss, agency and erasure. And of course, also love.

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In this episode Dara explores the concept of character and how its uncovering might lie at the heart of true strength, happiness and resilience. He places it in firm counterpoint to the litany of reductive names, labels and titles and other identifiers we have put on us. That prompts a reflection on the tyranny of the word 'Mother'.

Drawing inspiration from Joan Didion and a key principle of traditional karate, Dara argues that character enables us to be better, more selfless human beings.

There are also some thoughts about what we hang our personalities on, Tottenham Hotspur Football Club, the importance of saying goodbye and An American Werewolf in London - even though he was convinced he hadn't referenced any movies!

Joan Didion's essay on Self-Respect: https://www.vogue.com/article/joan-didion-self-respect-essay-1961

Karate dojo kun: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/D%C5%8Dj%C5%8D_kun

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In this episode Dara asks the question - what movies really do it for you? Before giving his own answer, he explores the types of masculinity that he has been attracted to on the big screen since he was a child. From the days of Spencer Tracy, through the Star Wars and Indiana Jones era, to the modern emotional landscape of 'men's movies', he covers a lot of ground and a lot of movies that all capture a certain type of bruised masculinity.

He explains what he means by the 'male chick flick' and concludes the episode by homing in on the male-centric stories of 5 particular contemporary directors - James Gray, James Mangold, Scott Cooper, Gavin O'Connor and Taylor Sheridan.

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In this episode, Dara reflects on body image and the objectification and commodification of female beauty and sexuality. He discusses the sexist rhetoric and dynamics that he has always found pervasive among many of the men he has known. Along the way, he revisits his own introduction back in the day to the sexualised female iconography of Playboy magazine.

He talks about the destructive and warping impact of shame and realises it is an aspect of his own parenting that concerns him because he recognises it from his own childhood.

Finally, he looks at depictions of shame on the big screen via particular actors and movies.

Todd Sampson, creator of Mirror Mirror: http://toddsampson.com.au/

David Thomson's The Big Screen: https://www.bookdepository.com/Big-Screen-David-Thomson/9780141047126

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In this episode, Dara gets stuck into expectations and how imposing they can be if they are too rigid. He draws a connection between unmet expectations and the loss of control, and the anger that results from that.

He points out the flawed thinking of anthropomorphising the family chickens, who have been giving him a particularly annoying day.

A moment is taken to acknowledge two actors who recently died - Jean Paul Belmondo and Michael K Williams, better known as The Wire's Omar.

And last but not least, a rant about a type of hyper-wellness that Dara considers to be missing the point.

Marc Maron - WTF - Michael K Williams: http://www.wtfpod.com/podcast/remembering-michael-k-williams

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In this episode Dara touches on sugar consumption and gut health and warns of the danger of big lunches if your afternoons are going to be demanding.

He talks about using social media to promote his stuff and realises he can barely remember how his points of view evolved, which leads to him confessing an inability to retain information.

Finally, he looks at the soiled package of middle age which becomes an exploration of expectations, visibility and narrative.

Along the way there is a dismissed tea blender, Isabel Allende's wisdom, peculiar nappies, and disgraced Hollywood figures.

Adam Buxton interviews Isabel Allende - https://play.acast.com/s/adambuxton/ep.158-isabelallende-acast24b6eaea

American Beauty - https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0169547/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_0

Being There - https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0078841/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_0

Website: https://theclearout.com/

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In this episode Dara walks the corridors of nostalgia and explores the underpinning emotion that informs that longing for the past. The journey takes him to the movies of his childhood and starts him thinking about when childhood ends and adulthood begins.

He confesses an affinity with Ernie from Sesame Street and admits a boyhood crush on a short-haired Helen Slater in The Legend of Billie Jean!

There is time for a look at ageing and the fixing of attitudes and appetites, and also a some segues on the Hollywood simplification of autism.

And finally there is the unexpected appearance of a couple of squirrels. They are most welcome.

Website: https://theclearout.com/

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In this episode, following some thoughts on Afghanistan and the Taliban, Dara reflects on conflict in his own life and looks particularly closely at his marriage and the diverging paths that have emerged there.

He wonders if we can access anybody's internal landscape, and what that unknown element does to our expectations. This leads to a discussion of disappointment, hurt and resentment buckets. It all leads to advocating more openness and vulnerability as a pathway to greater resilience.

Finally, a dying leaf surprises Dara with the train of thought it provokes. But then he realises how a terrific book he just finished might explain it.

The Boys in the Boat - https://www.danieljamesbrown.com/books/the-boys-in-the-boat/

Blindboy Podcast: https://play.acast.com/s/blindboy/blameandanger

Hidden Brain: https://hiddenbrain.org/

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