The Coffin Club

Hi again from the monkey house. I hope the POLICE don't redact this one this time.

The kids are doing okay. Rebecca's big now, she's started walking around. Almost ready to start talking. The twins...well the twins are testing my patience, honey. They keep getting in fights with the other kids. It's always some stupid thing, and they don't cause it, but it doesn't help because they're children. Wish I could grab them and shake them and tell them to knock it off. But they're kids and we don't need to both go to jail, haha.

It's one of two things. Either Morgan is arguing with another kid and starts getting in over his head so Nancy runs over and starts throwing fists. Or, Nancy is getting picked on because she's quiet and Morgan comes over and starts saying shit to them until they cry or scatter. I don't know where he's learned those words. Maybe we should've cleaned up our act a bit. He's cutting when he wants to be. And she's rough when she wants to be. God bless them both for watching out for each other but I wish they wouldn't piss people off doing it, haha.

The school thinks splitting them up in class is a good idea. I'm not so sure. They also say sports might help. I'm not putting my daughter into softball, that's not gonna do anything to help her. Probably see how she likes junior field hockey, though. Should help her burn off energy. As for Morgan, I dunno. He keeps taking shit apart because you're not around to hide the tools. I'll see what programs are around for him to get his fun in. They need an outlet that's not their weird little games.

I miss you a lot. I'll send more commissary credits in a week. The POLICE put a limit on how often I can do that, some stupid new regulation. Respond when you can. Love you a bunch, monkey man.

Lou

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We got lucky getting this house. First thing your big brother ever helped us with. I used to think I was slick but Morgan's got my charms and your mother's sense even before he was born. Got your mother's temper too but y'know don't tell him I said that, Becks.

Your mother and I were, to be blunt, using contraception. We wanted kids, but we wanted them on our own timetable. I was working in construction, she was managing stores, we were making ends meet. This company put out this new birth control drug and they were looking for early adopters. It was not a medical test. That's important. Because if it was, we wouldn't have gotten the money for the house, heh. I don't know if they forced it through the FDA or if it was flawed, but the drug didn't do what it was supposed to, and a few months later she was pregnant with the twins.

First thing I did was hustle her over to a doctor, get blood work, all that stuff. It cost us, but it was a smart gamble. See we weren't the only people having kids who shouldn't. And, cynical as it is, we wanted kids and we didn't have the money to. Under other circumstances, we'd've taken care of it. This was our shot *to* have kids *and* have someone else foot the bill about it. Took another risk, called a buddy of mine who was a lawyer, got us into a class action suit against them.

Lots of them took the immediate payout. Not us. We got a structured settlement, a check every two weeks. Squirreled that away for a rainy day. Found this place on a police auction, actually. Hole in the ground but I'd had enough experience fixing bad houses. When the twins were born we had three rooms we could live in, and I kept working at it. You're lucky, Becks. Whole house was done when you showed up.

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Happy Halloween 2025! After we played The Isabel months ago, we knew we wanted to play Dead House at some point, so here we are! The people of Neola are in for a long, bad winter in 1888. How many of them survive is up to fate.

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He told you about Mike and Elsie, huh? I love your father but he can be a little judgmental sometimes. You think he wouldn't be considering his family.

Well no honey they're. Mmm. I'm sorry. I get a little heated sometimes, thinking about my siblings. Imagine how you'd feel if someone started saying stuff about Becky or how the twins would feel if someone started picking on you. They're my brother and sister. I have a lot of good memories. Sometimes I wish they were better.

Your Nana and Papa, I can talk to them fine, but they don't like your dad. Not since the arrest. It's a shame, you think folks like them would be able to hold grace in their hearts for their only surviving son. I tried to get it through their skulls, I promise I did. You should ask Morgan about them, he may remember more than Nancy. They were on good terms with me after your dad went inside for a while. They'd visit and help me with Becky when I was getting the others into school for the first time. Then your dad got out...and they stopped wanting to come around and see him. They'd see their grandkids, sure. Not him.

Then I got pregnant with you. And they started getting opinionated about it. At the end of the day I'm not picking my husband's parents over him. Your father is a good man. Sometimes a good man makes mistakes. What's important is where you go from there, not if you have to throw out all those years together. You talk about it, maybe you separate for a while, and you see where life goes. They do send you kids money on your birthday and Christmas, and that's nice of them. But they could do more if they want to be worth being in your lives.

Plus, c'mon. You got Mama and Mom still. Trust me, they bake cookies for you all much better than Nana ever could.

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Well we don't really talk to your mom's side of the family because we don't particularly. Like them, y'know?

Yeah, okay, Grandma Nina and Grandma Tess are the exception, we make time for them. It's your aunt and uncle who are the problem. Your mom's still got some positive feelings but I'm the outsider so I can bring a balance to that sort of thing.

So your Uncle Mike, he joined the military. I think he wanted to be a Marine but they ended up making him a drone jockey. He got involved in the surveillance push in the Thompson administration, was involved in Operation Radiant Beacon. I'll explain that when you're older but it's not a good thing he did that. I got in a fight with him one Thanksgiving before you were born. Talking about duty to the country and, well. Never join the military, Taylor, okay? No matter what they say. There's always a better way. I had Morgan and Nancy in my arms and Mike's screaming at me and I thought to myself, "hell with this, I got two toddlers and he's gonna lay into me over this? I don't care if he's her brother." Your mom and I talked about it on the way home. She wasn't happy. But she saw how he was talking to me and the twins and. Yeah.

Your Aunt Elsie...different story. Smart lady. I liked her a lot. Then one day something...shifted in her. She was educated, your grandmas got her through college. She even went Ivy League with a bunch of grants and debts. One day she calls your mom up, smiling wide, "I met the most wonderful man!". They get to talking, your mom hangs up, looks into him and immediately calls her back. See, uh. Sometimes, people hear what they want to hear and then ignore the red flags. There was a lot she shouldn't have ignored. I'll tell you when you're older. Important thing is she lives on his compound out in Montana now and even if we did invite her to holidays...she wouldn't come.

Sorry kiddo. I wish you could meet them. Family's important and you care for them, mostly. Family's still made of people.

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When did I first meet your father? Ah Jesus, great question. Let's see.

Johnny Banks wasn't really a fixture of the scene as much as he was a nuisance. I used to play in a band back in the day. I even dropped out of school to pursue it, had to get my GED later. Don't drop out to join a band, by the way. Odds are rigged against you. Anyway you've seen those pictures of me in those jeans. We called ourselves The Screwdrivers, we thought we were punks, we thought it was cool. Played a lot of local shows, didn't ever get a record down but we got some EPs together. We were down in the scene and so was Johnny Banks.

Your father, god bless him, used to have the dumbest hair I seen on a man. It was cute. He tried to do the liberty spikes, but never really put enough product in, and had half his head shaved. He looked like a palm tree. He hung around at shows and parties, this beanpole guy in an old army jacket and stompers and chains. Everyone thought he was there to score heroin or screw high school girls, so they gave him a wide berth. He wasn't confident in himself so he'd just stand and loom all quiet.

I didn't meet him properly at a party. I met him at work. I did graveyard at a convenience store. He shuffles in one day, jacket too big, hair all floppy, asks me for smokes. There was this nervous energy and then, suddenly in this shotgun blast of words, he says to me:

"I really like your band. I think you've got some good songs. I have questions about your lyrics. I think you tuned your bass wrong. Can I help you tune it properly?"

I told him to get lost. The next day he showed back up with a tuner. I said "where did you get this?" He smiled wide and said "don't worry about it."

And that's the first present your father ever gave me.

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I met Louise Wallace when fucking Richard Lincoln tried to kick my teeth in.

It was a hot summer, and they'd cancelled public summer camp again for the third year in a row. I was thirteen years old. Not old enough to get a job yet, too old to hang around home and not get told off for it. Richard and Toby and Donny and me stole some shit from the Bullseye and ran off to a nearby park to see what we got and screw around.

Fireworks (the boring kind), some inflatable balls, some food. We didn't steal a pump. Ended up sitting around trying to blow the stupid things up by hand (mouth, really) as we chewed shitty candies and snapping noisemakers at each other. Normal shit. We got a soccer ball mostly inflated, kicked it around a bit. Then I slipped, fell on it and popped the stupid thing. Donny and Toby started laughing, but Richard. Richard was pissed.

"What good is taking crap if you're just gonna break it, you dumb piece of shit?" was more or less his sentiment at the time. Told him the truth: wasn't my fault, wet patch of grass, and maybe it wouldn't pop if you weren't such a weak loser who couldn't inflate a damn ball. He ended up on top of me as Donny and Toby stood around chanting "go! go! go!" whipping noisemakers at us.

I don't remember what happened next. I do remember this clearly: Louise Wallace standing over me as Richard lay howling on the ground. Younger kid, ten years old, wiry girl. Tomboy. Richard had to go to the hospital with the way she hit him. She didn't pay him much mind as she helped me off the ground. I mumbled thanks, because what else am I supposed to say to be saved by a girl. All she did was roll her eyes.

"Don't be a fucking idiot, dude. Learn to shut your mouth."

And those were the first words your mother ever said to me.

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We do session zero, character creation and enclave creation for our Red Markets 2e's beta test! Thrill at what protagonists are designed! Chill at how distracted we get looking at a map of Seattle! Spill into a chair and listen up for the stories that will be told about the enclave of Deception Pass and the Banks Family Takers.

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Deep within the Sunny Suplex Mall lies the realm of the Tiny Mall Wizards, a forgotten corner of history long since gone by. Originally the world's masters of magic and mayhem, they are relegated to obscurity and their own petty squabbles.

That is not to say that the time of their stories is over. Far from it. Crack'o, Hat and Celene, three chosen Tiny Mall Wizards, embark on a grand quest to save their people and bring balance to the mall. Will they succeed? Will they fail? Only one thing is certain: there will be so much property damage.

We played Grint's game Tiny Mall Wizards and you can too!

https://greenintern.itch.io/tiny-mall-wizards

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The crew talks about the experience of putting together our interpretation of Brindlewood Bay, discusses the different systems we used, and talk about the ups and downs of running mysteries and horror.

https://thecoffin.club