The Counselling Armchair: Nurturing well being and study

In this episode of The Counselling Armchair: Nurturing your Wellbeing and Study, we explore the psychology behind scams, cults and other forms of manipulation.

While scams and high-control groups may appear very different, they often rely on similar processes: building trust, creating connection, offering belonging or opportunity, and gradually increasing commitment.

Together with Liz Bowerman from RMIT’s Safer Community Team, we discuss why students can be targeted, how manipulation works, common warning signs, and what students, friends and families can do to stay safe.

We also explore why intelligent and capable people can become caught in these situations, and why compassion rather than judgement is essential when supporting someone who has experienced manipulation or exploitation.

This episode acknowledges the contribution of Linda Li, Cyber and Technology Risk Awareness Lead in RMIT’s Office of the CIO, whose expertise informed discussion of current scams, phishing attacks and cyber risks affecting university students.

Resources and links:

Podcasts

A Little Bit Culty - Hosted by former members of NXIVM, Sarah Edmondson and Nippy Ames: https://alittlebitculty.com/

IndoctriNation - Hosted by therapist Rachel Bernstein:
https://www.rachelbernsteintherapy.com/podcast

The Influence Continuum - Hosted by Steven Hassanhttps://freedomofmind.com/podcast/

Scamfluencers - https://wondery.com/shows/scamfluencers/

The Perfect Scam - Produced by AARP
https://www.aarp.org/podcasts/the-perfect-scam/

Was I In A Cult? - https://www.wasiinacult.com/

Books

Combating Cult Mind Control — Steven Hassan

Freedom of Mind — Steven Hassan

Take Back Your Life — Janja Lalich & Madeleine Tobias

Traumatic Narcissism and Recovery — Daniel Shaw

The Confidence Game — Maria Konnikova

Scam Support Resources (Australia)

Scamwatch

The Australian Government's primary source of scam alerts, prevention advice and reporting information.https://www.scamwatch.gov.au/

National Anti-Scam Centre

Provides information about emerging scams, scam prevention and national anti-scam initiatives.https://www.nationalanti-scamcentre.gov.au/

IDCARE

Australia and New Zealand's national identity and cyber support service, providing free assistance to people affected by scams, identity theft and cybercrime.https://www.idcare.org/

eSafety Commissioner

Offers advice and support for online safety, cyber abuse, image-based abuse and digital security.https://www.esafety.gov.au/

Cult & High-Control Group Resources

International Cultic Studies Association (ICSA)

One of the world's leading educational organisations on cults, coercive control and undue influence, offering research, articles, conferences and recovery resources.https://www.icsahome.com/

Freedom of Mind Resource Center

Founded by Steven Hassan, this organisation provides articles, videos, educational resources and practical guidance for individuals and families affected by coercive control and high-control groups. https://freedomofmind.com/

The Family Survival Trust

A UK charity providing education, information and support for people affected by cults, coercive control and undue influence.https://www.thefamilysurvivaltrust.org/

RMIT Student Support

Safer Community – https://www.rmit.edu.au/students/support-services/safety-wellbeing/safer-communityStudent Wellbeing – https://www.rmit.edu.au/students/support-services/health-safety-wellbeing

RMIT Counselling – https://www.rmit.edu.au/students/support-services/health-safety-wellbeing/counselling

RMIT Connect – https://www.rmit.edu.au/students/support-services/connect

In this episode of The Counselling Armchair, Liz and Plia take the mystery out of therapy with a practical, down-to-earth conversation about what it’s really like. They explore what happens in a first session, why you don’t need to have everything figured out (or a diagnosis) before reaching out, and how therapy is often more like a guided, supportive conversation than people expect. They also challenge common myths about therapy, highlighting that it isn’t about being “broken,” but about having a space to understand yourself, cope with challenges, and feel less alone.

The episode also explains what actually helps in therapy—from feeling heard and making sense of patterns, to building practical coping skills—and why progress is usually gradual and subtle. Liz and Plia unpack different therapy approaches in simple terms, explain how mindfulness and other techniques are used, and emphasise that there’s no one-size-fits-all model. Finding the right fit with a therapist matters, and it’s completely okay if it takes time to find what works for you.

If you’re considering support, you can access counselling through RMIT or speak to your GP about options available to you.

Useful links:
RMIT Counselling Service: https://www.rmit.edu.au/students/support-services/health-safety-wellbeing/counselling
Australian Psychological Society: https://psychology.org.au/find-a-psychologist
Mental Health Treatment Plan: https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/mental-health-treatment-plan
Lifeline: https://www.lifeline.org.au or 13 11 14

In this episode of The Counselling Armchair: Nurturing Your Wellbeing and Study, Liz and Plia explore people pleasing as a deeply learned pattern rooted in our need for safety, connection, and belonging—rather than a personality flaw. We unpack common signs like difficulty saying no, fear of conflict, and tying self-worth to others’ approval, while also exploring how early experiences, cultural expectations, and the nervous system (including the “fawn” response) can shape these behaviours over time. We talk about the difference between healthy, choice-based kindness and fear-driven people pleasing that can lead to burnout, resentment, and disconnection from self. Importantly, we share practical, compassionate strategies for change.

If this resonates, you can explore more about the fawn response in Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving by Pete Walker (https://pete-walker.com/complex_ptsd_book.html), and read about why “just setting boundaries” can be difficult via Safe Space Counselling Why You Can’t Just Say No - People-Pleasing as a Trauma Response, or learn more about self-compassion through Kristin Neff at https://self-compassion.org.

Burnout isn’t just being tired — it’s what happens when stress builds up faster than you can recover. In this episode, Liz, Plia and Melissa unpack what burnout really is, how to spot the early signs, and why it’s become such a common experience for students, carers, and anyone juggling too much.

We explore:

• Emotional, physical and cognitive symptoms of burnout
• Why burnout builds gradually (hello, stress‑accumulation curve)
• Different types of burnout — including neurodivergent burnout
• Why pushing harder doesn’t work
• What real recovery looks like: rest, boundaries, support and joy
• Tips for managing end‑of‑degree burnout

Burnout isn’t a personal failure. It’s your body asking for relief — and there are ways back to balance.

🔗 Related Episodes

• Perfectly Imperfect - Embracing Flaws and Finding Balance https://open.spotify.com/episode/0PpLCLtQt7u0eshvjU38Kw?si=d3c283d5a4b440a2
• Unwind and Stress Less: Stress Management 101 https://open.spotify.com/episode/4V60tLWnTxuY1YnB2QNuTb?si=c9d83a17f3544adb

Financial stress is something many students experience, and it can affect mental health, physical wellbeing, motivation, and academic performance. In this episode of The Counselling Armchair, Liz, Melissa and Plia are joined by Malcolm and Katie from Student Welfare to discuss why money stress is so common, how it shows up for students, and what practical steps and supports can help. The conversation covers budgeting, fees and debt, placement-related financial pressure, fines, scams, impulsive spending, and the importance of reaching out early for support. Students are reminded that they don’t need to be in crisis to ask for help, and that free, confidential support is available both within and outside the university.

RMIT Student Welfare – https://www.rmit.edu.au/students/support-services/student-support/student-welfare

RMIT Connect – https://www.rmit.edu.au/students/support-and-facilities/student-support/connect

RMIT Financial Assistance & Hardship Grants – https://www.rmit.edu.au/students/support-services/student-support/financial-support

RMIT Counselling Service – https://www.rmit.edu.au/students/support-services/student-support/counselling

RMIT Study Support – https://www.rmit.edu.au/students/study-support

Work and Development Permit (Victoria) – https://www.justice.vic.gov.au/fines/work-and-development-permits

Fines Victoria – https://online.fines.vic.gov.au

Centrelink (Youth Allowance, Austudy, Rent Assistance) – https://www.servicesaustralia.gov.au/students

Commonwealth Prac Payment – https://www.education.gov.au/commonwealth-prac-payment

National Debt Helpline (Free Financial Counselling) – https://ndh.org.au

Salvation Army MoneyCare – https://www.salvationarmy.org.au/moneycare

Ask Izzy (Food, housing, money help) – https://askizzy.org.au

Study Melbourne Hub (International Students) – https://www.studymelbourne.vic.gov.au

Scamwatch – https://www.scamwatch.gov.au

In this episode of The Counselling Armchair, Liz, Melissa and Plia explore what it’s like to live “between two worlds” for international students and first- and second-generation migrants. We talk with guests Sam Zhong and Gunjan Kaur about family pressure, cultural expectations, secrecy as a coping strategy, identity, relationships, and how to find balance without feeling like you’re rejecting your culture.

If you’re navigating cultural pressure, generational tension, or trying to carve out your own path, this episode offers compassionate insight and practical support.

Helpful links:
RMIT Counselling: rmit.edu.au/counselling
RMIT Financial Support: rmit.edu.au/financial-support
QLife (LGBTQIA+ support): qlife.org.au
Headspace: headspace.org.au

In this episode of The Counselling Armchair: Nurturing Your Wellbeing and Study, Liz and new co-host team member Plia Caspi are joined by counsellor Ruby Krupka to discuss intimate partner violence (IPV) — what it looks like, how it affects wellbeing and study, and how people can seek help or support others safely.

Together, they unpack the patterns of abuse, and the challenges people face in recognising and leaving unsafe relationships. The team also explores recovery, rebuilding confidence, and where to find confidential support both within and beyond RMIT.

If you or someone you know is in danger, please call 000.
If it’s not safe to speak, you can use the Silent Call option by dialling 000, then pressing 55.

• 1800RESPECT – National sexual assault, domestic and family violence service
  📞 1800 737 732 | 🌐 1800respect.org.au

• Safe Steps – Victoria’s 24/7 family violence response centre
  📞 1800 015 188 | 🌐 safesteps.org.au

• The Orange Door – Free family violence and wellbeing support service across Victoria
  🌐 orangedoor.vic.gov.au

• Lifeline – 24-hour crisis support
  📞 13 11 14 | 🌐 lifeline.org.au

• MensLine Australia – Support for men experiencing relationship or family violence issues
  📞 1300 789 978 | 🌐 mensline.org.au

• Kids Helpline – Support for young people under 25
  📞 1800 55 1800 | 🌐 kidshelpline.com.au

• inTouch Multicultural Centre Against Family Violence – Support for people from culturally diverse backgrounds
  🌐 intouch.org.au

• Centre Against Sexual Assault (CASA) – Specialist trauma counselling and advocacy
  🌐 casa.org.au

• Victoria Legal Aid – Free legal information and advice
  🌐 legalaid.vic.gov.au

• Safer Community – Support for experiences of violence, sexual harm, or concerning behaviour.
  📞 (03) 9925 2396 | 🌐 rmit.edu.au/safercommunity

• Counselling & Psychological Services (CAPS) – Free, confidential short-term counselling for students.
  📞 (03) 9925 5000 | After-hours: 1300 305 737

• Student Legal Service – Free legal advice for students.
  🌐 rmit.edu.au/students/support-and-facilities/student-legal-service

• Student Support Advisors – Help with financial, accommodation, and academic issues.

• Chaplaincy – Confidential spiritual and emotional support for students of all faiths.

If you need to store evidence (texts, screenshots, or photos) securely — without keeping them on your phone’s main gallery or messaging apps — these tools can help:

• Arc App (1800RESPECT) – Free and secure app for safely recording patterns of abuse and storing evidence.
  🌐 arcapp.org.au

• Safety Net Australia (WESNET) – Offers digital safety tips and information about secure apps.
  🌐 techsafety.org.au

• Be Safe App (Domestic Violence Resource Centre Victoria) – Personalised safety planning tool.
  🌐 besafeapp.org.au

• SmartSafe+ – Secure evidence storage app (by WESNET). Designed for people experiencing tech-based abuse.
  🌐 smartsafe.org.au

🟣 Important tip: If you’re using safety or evidence apps, consider setting up a PIN lock and disguised app name if possible. Always delete browser history after visiting support sites if your device is being monitored.

• IPV isn’t always physical — it can include emotional, financial, sexual, and psychological abuse.

• Leaving can be complex and dangerous — safety planning and professional support are crucial.

• You are never to blame for someone else’s choice to control or harm you.

• Support and recovery are possible — you don’t have to face it alone.

• Power and Control Wheel – Understanding patterns of abuse.

• Cycle of Violence diagram – DVRCV

• eSafety Commissioner – Technology and abuse

The Counselling Armchair: Nurturing Your Wellbeing and Study is available on all major podcast platforms. Subscribe, share, and leave a review to help others find support and hope.

⚠️ If You Need Immediate Support💜 24/7 Support Services🎓 RMIT Support Options📱 Helpful Safety and Record-Keeping Apps🕊️ Key Takeaways💡 Additional Resources🎧 Listen and Subscribe

This bonus episode of The Counselling Armchair: Nurturing Wellbeing and Study offers a short guided practice to help you feel steadier and more connected during uncertain times.

Psychologist Michael Swadling leads you through an Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) exercise designed to:

• Help you drop anchor in the present moment

• Reconnect with your values—the things that matter most to you

• Create a gentle sense of calm and steadiness even when life feels overwhelming

This exercise pairs beautifully with our full episode, “How to Look After Yourself When the World Feels Heavy,” but you can also use it anytime you need a brief moment of grounding and self-care.

Safety note: Please listen when you can give it your full attention—not while driving or doing anything that requires focus.

Resources mentioned:

• RMIT Ways of Wellbeing

• ACT Conversations Guide

In this episode of The Counselling Armchair: Nurturing Wellbeing and Study, Liz speaks with psychologist Michael Swadling about how to protect your mental health when the news feels overwhelming and the future uncertain.

From climate change to conflict and economic pressures, it’s easy to feel weighed down by global challenges. Michael explains how Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and the RMIT Ways of Wellbeing can help us stay grounded, focus on what’s within our control, and take small, meaningful steps that align with our values.

We explore:

• What wellbeing really means—and why it’s not about feeling happy all the time

• How to stay informed without burning out

• Practical ACT tools and the importance of routine, connection, and small actions that reflect your values

• How self-care can be an act of strength, not selfishness

• Balancing activism, study, and life without falling into burnout

Whether you’re feeling anxious about the world or just need strategies to stay steady through uncertainty, this episode offers practical, compassionate guidance to help you care for yourself and keep moving toward what matters most.

Resources mentioned:

• RMIT Ways of Wellbeing

• ACT Conversations Guide

• The Unbreakable Student by Nic Hooper

In this episode of The Counselling Armchair, Liz and Melissa sit down with intern psychologist Joshua Boardman for a thoughtful conversation about coercive control—a form of emotional and psychological abuse that can occur in many types of relationships. Together, we discuss how it can appear, why it may be difficult to recognise, and what safe steps people can take if they have concerns.

Content note: This episode contains discussion of emotional abuse. Please listen with care, and remember that support is available through the services listed below.

• Understanding what coercive control is

• Common behaviours such as love bombing, gaslighting, and guilt-tripping

• Misconceptions and vulnerability factors

• Green flags in healthy relationships

• Where to find support and how to plan safely

• 1800RESPECT – 1800 737 732

• Lifeline – 13 11 14

• RMIT Student Support – 1300 305 737 / Text: 0488 884 162

• The Shark Cage® – Ursula Benstead: Educational metaphor for understanding boundaries and safety

• Victoria Police & Crime Stoppers Victoria Podcast: Coercive control and family violence

• NSW Government – Coercive Control Resources: Easy-read guides, translations, and support info

• eSafety Commissioner – Coercive Control Info Sheet: Focus on technology-based coercion among young people

• Attorney-General’s Department – National Principles on Coercive Control: Fact sheets, videos, and community resources

• Compass – Coercive Control Resource Hub: Central access point for education and services

• AIHW – Coercive Control Insights: Data and information on impacts in families

• Safer Families Centre – Toolkit: Examples and tools for professionals

• ACT Government Resources: Multilingual guides and local supports

• Financial Independence Hub – Good Shepherd | 📞 1300 050 150

• Leaving Violence Program – DSS | 📞 1800 253 283

• Anglicare Victoria – Family Violence Financial Counselling

• Women’s Legal Service Victoria | 📞 1800 133 302

• 1800RESPECT – Financial Abuse Toolkit | 📞 1800 737 732

👉 This episode is for educational purposes only. If you or someone you know is experiencing abuse, please reach out to one of the support services above.

Key TopicsSupport ServicesFurther Resources (Educational)Financial & Legal Supports