The Counter Culture Mom Show with Tina Griffin

Is it possible to heal after infidelity has split a marriage in two? Yes, it’s possible, but it’s not easy. Ruth Erickson is a worship pastor and the author of Unfaithful: Finding Healing After Your Husband’s Affair (Whether Your Marriage Survives or Not). She is uniquely qualified to discuss the healing and restoration that is possible only in Christ in the wake of infidelity. When her husband cheated on her, it broke her heart, but it never broke her spirit. She believed strongly that God would use her story for good - and she was right. Ruth’s story is an inspiration in overcoming the unthinkable, navigating unwanted divorce, and walking through the tricky and emotional territory of co-parenting with a former spouse who was unrepentant.

TAKEAWAYS

Ruth’s book, Unfaithful, will give hope to women who have walked through infidelity trauma

You can’t control other people - you can only control yourself and you can’t affair-proof your marriage, but you can affair-proof yourself

When it comes to co-parenting, the needs of the children should be the top priority

You’re responsible for your obedience to the Lord, not anyone else’s

🛠 TOOLS AND RESOURCES FROM EPISODE

Infidelity video: https://www.instagram.com/p/CtzKGfqpnui/

Jill Savage Ministries (use code TINA for 10% off): https://bit.ly/3K6AFBD

Unfaithful book: https://amzn.to/4txTgv5

🔗 CONNECT WITH RUTH ERICKSON

Website: https://www.rutherickson.com/

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To make marriage last, there are three main areas that couples must focus on: making each other happy, avoiding making each other unhappy, and making major decisions together. Dr. Willard Harley has talked and written about the topic of “affair-proofing” marriage for decades. As a clinical psychologist, bestselling author with over four million copies sold, and marriage expert, he has counseled thousands of couples who have been at their wits’ end - and helped them get back on track! It’s so important to meet each other’s needs, Willard says, because that is where your love deposits come from. Marriage is complicated, and few people know what they’re doing when they exchange vows at the altar, which can spark emotional turbulence. Willard also discusses the red flags of potential adultery and how to deal with it.

TAKEAWAYS

Don’t set yourself up for cheating by refusing to be transparent with your spouse

After or during an affair, the offending spouse must accept that their marriage is more important than chasing after anyone else

If someone is continually unrepentant in their adulterous behavior, Willard recommends divorce as an option

Every couple should be totally transparent with each other on all of their devices and social media

🛠 TOOLS AND RESOURCES FROM EPISODE

Donate to Counter Culture Ministries: https://bit.ly/4qvgU8P

Marriage Questionnaires: https://bit.ly/3O7P9Wq

His Needs, Her Needs book: https://bit.ly/4awhH4C

🔗 CONNECT WITH MARRIAGE BUILDERS

Website: https://www.marriagebuilders.com/

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How do you build an affair-proof marriage? Dr. Willard Harley knows the secret! Willard is the creator of Marriage Builders and the author of His Needs Her Needs: Making Romantic Love Last. With decades of marriage under his belt and a lifetime of expertise counseling couples through a gamut of sticky situations, he talks about his heartfelt mission to help people take the steps needed to steer clear of infidelity. Willard also highlights a growing trend among young adults: the fear of matrimony. What is driving this fear? Is it generational trauma? Is it seen as a cultural norm? Willard observes that as society becomes more sophisticated and educated, the more fearful they become of marriage. Willard is passionate about addressing these fears and encouraging healthy marriages.

TAKEAWAYS

Those who get married today tend to have fewer children than previous generations

Willard says that up to 70 percent of marriages are affected by infidelity

Staying in love makes remaining faithful a lot easier and dating your spouse is a great way to enjoy the best things about life

Fear of marriage likely stems from observing unhappy parental figures

🛠 TOOLS AND RESOURCES FROM EPISODE

Download the CCM App: https://bit.ly/4afWpqL

Marriage Questionnaires: https://bit.ly/3O7P9Wq

His Needs, Her Needs book: https://bit.ly/4awhH4C

🔗 CONNECT WITH MARRIAGE BUILDERS

Website: https://www.marriagebuilders.com/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Marriagebuildersradio/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/marriage_builders/

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Adultery is devastating and affects not just the couple involved but the entire family. How can you heal after such a deep hurt? How can you trust your spouse again? And if you’re the offender, can your spouse forgive you? “The road to restoration with your spouse is never guaranteed, but God’s hope is,” Robert Jones reminds us. Former pastor and decades-long counselor, Robert is the author of My Spouse Was Unfaithful: Finding Strength in God’s Presence. His book helps readers understand their suffering and guard against bitterness and a vengeful spirit, while pointing them to their truest hope: God alone. Robert addresses both the offender and the victim in cases of adultery, providing tips on how to communicate after suffering such massive trauma and how to walk through the healing process.

TAKEAWAYS

After infidelity, couples should individually put their focus on Christ to begin the restoration process and not immediately talk to each other

The church should be involved in bringing a resolution when dealing with cases such as infidelity

Psalm 46:1 reminds those who are suffering that God is a refuge and help in all conflicts and crises

Adultery is a very serious sin: it’s a sin against one’s own body, breaking of the marriage covenant, and sinning against God

🛠 TOOLS AND RESOURCES FROM EPISODE

My Spouse Was Unfaithful book: https://amzn.to/46HVqOX

The Death of Recess movie: angel.com/tinag

🔗 CONNECT WITH ROBERT JONES

Website: https://robertdjonescounseling.com/

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“One lifetime is nowhere near enough time to get to know another human being,” says Robert Paul, the Vice President of the Focus on the Family Marriage Institute. When it comes to marriage, what keeps the passion and romance burning hotter than ever is a lifelong inquisitive and curious pursuit of your spouse. Ignore what secular culture and even misguided churches may be telling you about the “fairytale” of marriage. Your spouse is your life journey partner, in good times and in bad. Support and encourage each other. Avoid giving unsolicited or unkind advice. Don’t be bossy, but be a cheerleader. Keep Jesus at the center of your marriage, and if you need help, don’t hesitate to reach for it. Getting help is not a sign of weakness; it’s a sign of courage, says Robert.

TAKEAWAYS

Nothing is more foundational to a marriage than having the relationship centered on Christ

Choosing a spouse is not about stepping into a fairytale - it’s about journeying through the trials of life together

Happiness can’t be the measurement of whether your marriage is going well, because it can change daily, depending on your emotions

Connect with the Lord in every difficult situation together as a couple and ask for His guidance and direction

🛠 TOOLS AND RESOURCES FROM EPISODE

Pop Culture Purge Tour: text TOUR to 55444

Empowered to Love book: https://amzn.to/4ra5Hfm

🔗 CONNECT WITH HOPE RESTORED

Website: https://hoperestored.focusonthefamily.com/

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There are many misconceptions about the dynamics of sex in marriage, but often, the struggles of rejection get swept under the rug. Sheri Mueller is a licensed clinical professional counselor and the author of I Want Him to Want Me: How to Respond When Your Husband Doesn’t Want Sex. Women are conditioned to believe that men will always initiate and aggressively pursue sex. But what if they don’t? What if the sting of rejection is taking its toll on a woman and driving a marriage into the ground? Sheri discusses this very real and often isolating problem that is rarely addressed in support groups, counseling sessions, or at church. Issues like male body image problems, porn addiction, or even medication side effects that may be a factor in men not interested in sex. Sexless marriages can only be fixed by gently but directly addressing the root cause.

TAKEAWAYS

Song of Solomon in the Bible demonstrates the reality that a woman can pursue intimacy just as vigorously as a man

Testosterone begins diminishing in men as early as 35 years old

On average, male rejection of sex affects as many as one in three marriages

Men are experiencing symptoms of erectile dysfunction at younger ages than ever, because of porn

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🔗 CONNECT WITH SHERI MUELLER

Website: https://www.marriagetrac.com/

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When you fight with your spouse, do you know what you’re really fighting about? Dig deep and ask yourself what the real root problem is. Be ruthless in your evaluation of yourself. Gary Thomas, a bestselling author and speaker, advises honesty, reflection, and a direct approach to overcoming conflict. He dishes out critical advice on how to heal and harmonize in the wake of devastating betrayal within marriage, highlighting a need for true repentance on the part of the offender. He also doesn’t shy away from talking about the importance of healthy and edifying sex in marriage. How does it change as we age? How do expectations or methods of connecting shift? Gary also offers insight on how to coordinate and communicate about finances to lessen financial problems that could arise in marriage.

TAKEAWAYS

As you age, intimacy will look different, but it is just as meaningful

True repentance is marked by actions, not feelings

It’s okay to change your preferences and intimacy triggers over time

Marriage involves two people, not just one - we should serve and love each other as Christ loves His church

🛠 TOOLS AND RESOURCES FROM EPISODE

I Was a Stranger movie: https://www.angel.com/tinag

Making Your Marriage a Fortress book: https://amzn.to/4aAZpPK

🔗 CONNECT WITH GARY THOMAS

Website: https://garythomas.com/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AuthorGaryThomas/

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How do you keep your marriage strong when the trials of life threaten to pull you apart? Gary Thomas may have the answers you’ve been looking for! He is the author of 23 books that have sold over 3 million copies. Being married for over 40 years, Gary brings tremendous insight into the importance of cultivating an intimate and deeply Christ-centered relationship from the moment marriage vows are exchanged and beyond. He challenges couples to cherish each other and to give grace to one another. Gary emphasizes, “Get married for the better, but make your vows for the worst.” Manage your expectations. Marriage will not be easy, but helping each other through the storms of life will be the biggest blessing you’ve ever experienced.

TAKEAWAYS

Marriage can produce little moments of reconnection in the midst of disappointment

During trials and tribulations, affirming each other is key and checking in with your spouse every week to see how they are feeling is critical

New parents must reprioritize their lives as they adjust to taking care of their infant

Setting boundaries with your children is a good and healthy marriage trait

🛠 TOOLS AND RESOURCES FROM EPISODE

Donate to Counter Culture Ministries: https://bit.ly/4agkizy

Making Your Marriage a Fortress book: https://amzn.to/4aAZpPK

🔗 CONNECT WITH GARY THOMAS

Website: https://garythomas.com/

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In the wake of the deadly Hamas attacks against Israel, Dr. Jeffrey Johnson has been working overtime to deliver meals and aid to Israelis who were affected by the catastrophic ambush. Jeffrey is the founder of Israel Today Ministries and the author of Fifty Days With God (A Jubilee). He shares his heart for the Israeli people and the God-divine connections with leaders like the U.S. Ambassador to Israel, Mike Huckabee. Jeffrey discusses the Jewish roots of Christianity, the importance of Romans 1:16, and the distorted conversations that have emerged as the term “Zionism” has inaccurately become a negative political term. He also outlines the true meaning of Zionism, replacement theology, and the complex theological roots of these belief systems. “The reason the world hates Israel is because they hate the God of Israel,” Jeffrey says.

TAKEAWAYS

Zionism is what the Scripture says about the promises God made to Israel regarding their homeland

The Abrahamic Covenant tells us that those who love and protect the Israeli people will be blessed and those who don’t will be cursed

Israel Today Ministries has delivered thousands of meals to children who were affected by Hamas-inflicted violence

Replacement theology has caused havoc among Christians, and in conjunction, Zionism has become a modern, weaponized political term

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Jacob’s Ladder: https://jacobsladder.us/give/

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🔗 CONNECT WITH DR. JEFFREY JOHNSON

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In these confusing and chaotic times, it’s important to stand on Biblical truths and its connection to the land of Israel. Troy Miller is the president and CEO of the National Religious Broadcasters Association, and he encourages Christians to speak out and stand up for what is Biblically accurate. Troy identifies the “propaganda movement” against Israel in the mainstream media and its dangers with spreading misinformation causing the rise of antisemitism. Troy shares his thoughts about influencer media, including celebrities like Tucker Carlson and Candace Owens, offering counter-narratives to scripture regarding God’s covenant with Israel and the true meaning of Zionism. Troy dissects the current political division and the importance of finding shared unity in standing with Israel.

TAKEAWAYS

Antisemitism is mainly a leftist issue, although some members of the “new right” may ascribe to it

Some influencers may be part of an indoctrination campaign against Israel and all Christians are called to expose inaccurate information

Radical Islamists, by nature, will always hate the Jewish people

Scripture is the best source of truth for parsing through the confusing narratives of modern culture

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