Success is a journey, not a destination - H. Tom Collard
Hello crea8ve seekers, entrepreneurs and passion leaders.
Gilli here. The power of patience. It's a beautiful thing.
This is here you’re sitting back, and even if you are wanting to say something so badly, you just wait, watch and listen. And somehow the universe does it for you without you pushing and prodding.They really do…
If you want to have a dream realized in your life, it doesn’t happen over night, it takes time.
We live in a world obsessed with hustle. Grind culture. Overnight success. But let's be real. True success rarely happens in a straight line. More often, it's a winding road filled with unexpected detours and frustrating delays. I refer this to the ZIG ZAG theory.
While in our mind we think we just work our way Up (imagine a straight vertical line), in fact life goes a little more zig-zaggy. We start our way, and the line moves in a perpendicular diagonal fashion over to the right, then crosses back to the left, then right, then left, always moving up, but in a different way. And while we land on top, it’s somewhere different: somewhere completely unexpected and not predicted, but always amazing. I learned about the Zig Zag theory from my readings of Edward de Bono.
Edward de Bono's Zig Zag Theory of Success in his book, I Am Right, You Are Wrong, posits that achieving significant goals rarely follows a straight, linear path. Instead, success often involves a series of forward and backward movements, much like a zigzag. These "zigs" represent periods of progress, where individuals make strides towards their objectives. However, they are inevitably followed by "zags," setbacks, obstacles, and even periods of regression. De Bono argued that these setbacks are not necessarily failures, but rather valuable learning experiences. By embracing these zigzags, individuals can gain valuable insights, adapt their strategies, and ultimately achieve greater success than if they had simply pursued a rigid, linear approach.
Essentially, the Zig Zag Theory encourages individuals to view challenges and setbacks as opportunities for growth and redirection, rather than as roadblocks. It emphasizes the importance of flexibility, adaptability, and a willingness to learn from both successes and failures on the path to achieving one's goals.
Success IS the journey
I’ve taken this one step further for creatives and entrepreneurs. We get so caught up in the destination, or a perceived definition of success, that we often lose sight of the learnings along the way. In fact, the deviations that we’ll encounter is part of the amazing part of achieving success. So while de Bono calls this out as a natural set of “set backs”, I say that even these set backs are gifts, perhaps even successes of themselves, disguised as a negative.
While you may put a goal in place and even a direction, don't get dismayed when you find yourself running down a different track. Life is like that. Many people are afraid to change for fear that they will be seen as copping out. Many people have way too high expectations which just leads to discontent.
We are not destined to run a straight course, for then we will never experience what we need to experience. Edward de Bono wrote that we follow a "zig zag" course, that we hop from left to right, still going forth. Remember though, that if an avenue is not working for you, don't beat a dead horse. Press on. Learn to nurture all your gifts for success may come to you in many disguises.
Here’s a story for you, way back when my husband, Jeff, and I didn’t have kids yet, and we went to Fiji for a holiday. Young and foolish, ready for adventure ;)
It wasn’t a glamorous beach resort. We were staying right in the middle of the island, nowhere near the ocean. It was hot. About 110 degrees Fahrenheit (40 degrees Celsius). There were mosquitoes, flies and the air was still. We decided to try and hike to the sea, to see if things would be different there. So off we trekked. I kept on asking, “How far do you think the sea is?”
“Not sure. I can’t see the water from here. Must be miles away,” Jeff responded.
So we started walking down the hill. The ground was rough, and dirt. There were shanties along the road with Indian Fijian’s living in them, washing their clothes in the river, and some bathing from bore wells on their property. They lived in poverty, by Western standards, and yet they waved and smiled at us and seemed so happy. They had a cow or a goat, and maybe a dog. The vegetation along the trail was exotic, luscious green and filled with plantations of corn and some bananas. It was jungle like. We walked for about an hour, and as we traveled we asked the locals where the water was. They pointed “that direction.” We still couldn’t see the water, but it was fascinating to talk to the locals and witness the inland countryside of this island.
Finally, we came across some mangroves. There was some sand and an old broken down boat on the sand. We had arrived. But where was the water? In amongst the mangroves we could now see the water: a muddy pool of shallow water embraced by the mangrove trees. It was basically marsh land for about 100 yards before any actual ocean. We would never get to the ocean itself, and we wouldn’t get to swim.
But I learned something poignant from this day-long hiking experience. I learned that although we had succeeded in reaching the water, the end result wasn’t necessarily the highlight: it was the journey that was our success. We loved the walk there, meeting the locals, and also the walk back. Doing the walk was EVERYTHING, and way bigger and cooler than where we were aiming.
That's where patience comes in – the ultimate counter-culture move in this go-go-go world.
Think of it like this: you're trying to build a fire. Do you frantically wave your arms around, hoping for spontaneous combustion? Or do you patiently gather kindling, carefully arrange the logs, and gently fan the flames?
My life has certainly held it’s fair share of ups, downs and the zig zag of opportunities and set backs.
One of my defining personal lessons of patience was in becoming a mother. Due to fertility struggles I had, my husband and I tried to get pregnant for 6 years. I couldn’t naturally fall pregnant, as much as I tried, waited, tried again. We then sought help with a fertility specialist. It then took me 6 failed IVF procedures before the 7th one was a success, over countless years. S-E-V-E-N IVFs! I thought I was never going to have children and I almost lost hope. In fact, I decided to let go of the idea of having a child after the 6th one failed. It was too painful, too hard, too expensive and too long.
But I also held on to a notion that ‘everything will come to those who wait’. In letting go of how I wanted it to happen, I decided to give the reigns to the universe and wait and see if something could happen, but perhaps in a different way. I let that idea come in, and with that in mind, our 7th IVF procedure was a success. Not only did I fall and stay successfully pregnant, but I was gifted with the highest gift I could imagine: 2 children: twins. To top it off, a boy and a girl. Today, our twins, Natalie and Jackson, now 11, are the most remarkable, strong, athletic and smart kids I could ever imagine having and I’m blest that I stood steadfast in my patience to get to that moment of conceiving, even if with a little help.
Patience isn't about giving up.
It's about cultivating a deeper trust in the universe, in your own abilities, and in the timing of things. It's about recognizing that sometimes, the most beautiful things require a slow, deliberate unfolding.
My path wasn't a straight shot to success.
My journey to success wasn't a straight shot. Arriving in the US back in the late ‘90s, I grappled with challenges that tested my resolve. I was a young female music artist, with every (often male) music producer or record company executive often asking me to conform to a Hollywood mold that didn't fit my authentic self. I struggled to make ends meet, facing countless rejections and the constant pressure to follow a pre-determined path.
Yet, through it all, patience and a commitment to my own vision proved invaluable. Instead of succumbing to pressure, and music styles that just didn’t follow who I was, I reinvented myself in the early 2000s, launching Warrior Girl Music, the first indie record company of its kind. This venture not only propelled my own music career (which included releasing my own music - eventually 8 albums - and touring internationally) but also empowered hundreds of other artists by providing them with a platform to share their voices and build their careers, also writing 3 music business books and building a successful coaching business, The Creative Warrior Academy. In parallel I created Songsalive!, the #1 social network for songwriters, and for its first 10 years, the world’s largest 501c)3) non profit membership organization dedicated to songwriters and composers. The success of Warrior Girl Music, Songsalive! and my creative entrepreneurial endeavors fueled my entrepreneurial spirit further, and ultimately transition into the tech world. By leveraging my entertainment industry experience, I climbed the ranks of program and product management at tech startups and Fortune 500 companies, leading PMO, Strategy & Operations at industry giants like Paramount, Google, and Yahoo.
I have successfully launched a diverse portfolio of digital products, including the Paramount+ streaming platform, (during the Pandemic mind you); an innovative AI music app, cutting-edge in-home AI consumer devices; high-volume point-of-sale systems for major sporting venues and theme parks; production of globally televised award shows, trade shows, and opera broadcasts; large-scale festivals and conferences with over 3,000 attendees; the development of internet search solutions generating over $30 million in monthly revenue; and the management of multi-million-dollar budgets for leading tech giants.
This is just the beginning – my journey is a testament to the power of patience, self-belief, and the invaluable lessons gleaned from the zigs and zags of life's path.
All of this takes TIME, patience and understanding that patience provides the learnings along the way to get to the new, never assumed, but always delicious, destination.
So, ditch the hustle trap and embrace the power of patience.
* Observe the universe. Notice the subtle shifts, the unexpected opportunities, and the valuable lessons that are unfolding around you.
* Listen to your gut. Trust your intuition and the whispers of your inner voice.
* Trust the process. Things are happening according to a larger plan, even if you can't see it yet.
We may not know our direction all the time, but if we listen to our thoughts and heed them, we can only move forward. If we think high, there is no doubt of success, whatever that may be defined for you.
If you accept absolute responsibility for your life and your success, you will become the person you truly want to become. I truly know that. And like me, you will discover that what you thought you would become might be COMPLETELY different to your intended objective. The zig zag theory… I thought I was going to be a rock star. I ended up still being a rock star, in many different paths - music, art, television, technology and … motherhood. Who knew?
It’s not luck, nor in the stars, nor happening by circumstance, this life of yours. You can’t blame the economy, the weather or a dead end job. It’s all you. You are responsible for who you are. It’s funny too that only the self-proclaimed successful people will be the ones that take responsibility. They know it is self made.
Patience is a superpower. It's cool, it's confident, and it's the key to unlocking your true potential.
So sit back, relax,… soak it up and wait for it to come. Because it will.
What are your thoughts?
Share your own experiences with patience (or lack thereof!) and your own zig zag path in the comments below.
xo,
Gilli Moon Aliotti
→ learn more about me & theCrea8ve ←
This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.thecrea8ve.com/subscribe
