This week's episode of the Crime Cafe features another story from The Adventures of Philip Marlowe.
This episode comes to you ad-free. Relatively. :)
The following is an unedited AI-generated transcript. Does an awesome job, huh? :)
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Hi, everyone.
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This is The Crime Café, your podcasting source of great crime suspense and thriller writing.
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I'm your host, Debbi Mack.
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Before I bring on my guest,
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I'll just remind you that The Crime Café has two e-books for sale,
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the nine-book box set and the short story anthology.
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You can find the buy links for both on my website, debbiemack.com, under the Crime Café link.
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If you'd like to
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You can also get a free copy of either book if you become a Patreon supporter.
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You'll get that and much more if you support the podcast on Patreon,
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along with our eternal gratitude for doing so.
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Unfortunately, our scheduled guest was unable to make it this week.
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However,
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I have instead another episode from the files of Philip Marlowe,
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Private Eye,
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Daring Young Dame on the Flying Trapeze.
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Enjoy!
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For the safety of your smile, use Pepsodent twice a day, see your dentist twice a year.
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Lever Brothers Company presents the Pepsodent program,
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The Adventures of Philip Marlowe,
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starring Van Heflin.
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Pepsodent presents Philip Marlowe, Raymond Chandler's famous private detective.
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You've seen him on the screen in Lady and the Lake,
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Murder,
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My Sweet,
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The Brasher Doubloon,
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and The Big Sleep.
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Now Pepsodent brings you the adventures of Philip Marlowe on the air and starring
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MGM's brilliant and dynamic young actor,
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Van Heflin.
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Pepsodent
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There comes a certain time in the year when I don't want to see midget auto races.
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I just want to see midgets.
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When I prefer sawdust to stardust, and popcorn to all other kinds of corn available in Hollywood.
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The circus was moving in on the grounds at Washington Boulevard and Hill Street,
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and I was turning in my usual fine job as sidewalk supervisor.
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It was exciting.
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It brought back all the sounds and sensations and convictions of childhood.
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And then someone had me firmly by the wrist,
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and I turned to look into a pair of steady,
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smoky,
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dark eyes that could be dangerous.
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Excuse me, sir, but you are a private detective?
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I'm a detective, but I don't get much privacy.
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Yeah, my name is Ralph Tassinari.
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Who told you I was a detective?
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My feet aren't that flat.
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Do you know a gentleman named Al Sicanolfi?
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Well, I know an Al Sicanolfi.
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He pointed you out.
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He asked me what was the big idea.
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What was my angle hiring a private detective?
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He gave me an idea.
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When has Al Sicanolfi had any ideas to spare?
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Mr. Marlowe, besides owning one-third of this very fine little circus, I am Tassinari.
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Of Tassinari, the Swede, and Glorian.
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Trafisto.
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The most brilliant aerial act in the business.
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I own this circus with Glorian and the Swede.
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Well, where does Al Sicanolfi fit in here?
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Now, the Swede gets drunk and gambles fantastic sums of money.
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This circus is worth a quarter of a million dollars.
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Already, the Swede has gambled away much more than his third of the circus.
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And a partner may sell out his other partners without even consulting them.
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Oh, you're afraid the Swede will sell you out to pay for his debts.
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Yeah, and if he did that, I should not hesitate to... Uh-oh, watch yourself.
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Uh, I'll take it off.
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It has made it plain that the gamblers expect payment immediately.
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Would you consider giving us your protection during the three days we're going to be here?
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$25 a day in expenses.
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That's the nut.
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Cheap enough.
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I know, but you see, I'm a sucker for circuses.
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Yeah?
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Is this the office of Philip Marlowe?
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Better still, this is Philip Marlowe.
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Didn't he?
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Go ahead.
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This is his partner, Glorianne.
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I'm in a downtown bar with a Swede, and he's terribly drunk.
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I know this isn't your job, but won't you come down and help me get him sobered up for the night?
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Please?
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All right.
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Mother Marlowe will be right down.
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I found the Main Street bar where Glorianne said I'd find her and the Swede.
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The Swede was potted like Grandma's begonia.
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And with the help of the bartender and four professional loafers, we got him into my car.
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I told Gloria to drive.
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Ah, ah, lay me alone, will you?
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I'm all right.
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Well, just take it easy.
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Where shall I drive, Mr. Marlowe?
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Jordan Street Receiving Hospital.
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I'll stay back here and wrestle the Swede for the championship.
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I just left him alone for an hour to do some shopping.
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I'm telling you something, honey girl.
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That Tesson there, he makes any more passes at you, I'll beat him brainless.
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Oh, please don't pay any attention to him, Mr. Marlowe.
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He thinks everyone at this circus is in love with me.
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Okay, now back in your seat, Roger.
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Yeah, yeah, and that flip doctor, too.
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Oh, be still.
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I'm telling you something, honey girl.
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One of these days,
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I'm going to get absent-minded on that trapeze,
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and I'm not going to catch you,
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friend Tassinari.
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How's that, huh?
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Don't listen to him, Mr. Marlowe.
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Well, then tell muscles to let go of my ear.
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Yeah, perfect crime.
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Who'd know it was an accident or not?
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And then I'd own half a circus instead of just a third.
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Please, Mr. Marlowe.
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He's drunk.
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Yeah, but drunk or sober, you've got one doozy of an idea there.
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Drunk or sober.
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Hey, my wrist.
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Watch that.
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I knew some interns at Georgia Street Receiving Hospital who obliged with some oxygen and a mask.
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A half hour of breathing that oxygen deeply in the Swede was stone cold sober and back in my car again.
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He was making certain cagey explanations.
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Uh, Marlowe, you don't want to take that stuff I was mumbling about seriously, you know, I...
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I was drunk.
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You certainly were.
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After all, Gloria Ann's my wife.
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Oh?
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Naturally, I don't like other guys giving her the eye.
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But that screwy talk about me dropping Tassinari accidentally on purpose.
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Oh, forget it.
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Oh, no.
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Yeah, the perfect crime.
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I was only talking, Marlowe.
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I wouldn't do that to Tassinari.
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Of course not.
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He'd be all broken up about it, wouldn't he?
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I sat in a field box that evening at this small, neat circus unwound toward the big act.
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And the big moment arrived with butterflies warming up in my stomach and a pulse
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thumping madly in my neck.
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on the high trapeze.
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Ladies and gentlemen,
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the living and justifying Passaneri and the Swede came bounding into the arena and
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over to the two spidery ladders that zoomed up into the very peak of the big tent.
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Up there where it was hot, high, and dangerous.
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Two magnificently made men climbing that slim ladder.
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Their brilliant capes flowing behind them, going up higher, smaller, higher.
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And then... They were on their tiny platforms, removing their capes grandiosely.
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And they turned, faced each other across the void like divers.
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Not a voice, not a breath, not a sound.
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I began to perspire.
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The net was being gathered back...
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Then suddenly,
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Passaneri raised his right arm and smiled,
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dropped his arm,
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and the Swedes shot out into space like a comet,
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and the gay,
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waltzing,
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somehow insane music began.
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The End
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It was all the announcer said, at least to me.
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Daring and terrifying.
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Whirl and spin and contact.
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Swing, swing, swing and spin.
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Spinning and whirling, contact and break.
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Hands locked to rosined hands, contact and break.
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Spin, whirl, cartwheel and contact.
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Swing, swing, swing, and leap.
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Split second timing and the split second split again,
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...