The Crime Of The Century Podcast

The Crime Of The Century Podcast

By Matt LoveTechnology
Download on the App Store

The Crime Of The Century Podcast episodes

  • A Pulverized Christmas by Mr Roboto
    Let's make some fast acid!
    Synthesize the sleigh bells with a 909 kick!
    Check the scope! Yeah! Check the scope!
    Random notes! For the naughty and the nice
    Subtract one octave!
    Descending through the chimney like a C-minor vice!
    Sawtooth wave! 200 Hertz!
    Increase the resonance until it hurts!
    Put the holiday in an envelope for two!
    It’s a pulverized Christmas for me and you!
    Let's duck it! Let's make it pump!
    Watch the little elves do the techno jump!
    Increase the duck attack!
    200 milliseconds and we’re never coming back!
    Lower the depth to zero-point-eight!
    Ribbon the seed! We’re running late!
    Repeat every cycle! Repeat the cheer!
    The same mechanical Christmas every single year!
    Add some distortion to the holiday ham
    Push the slider! Jam, Skinbags, Jam!
    Add a foghorn sound!
    Super saw! Santa’s coming to town!
    High detune! High release!
    In the scale of C-minor, we find our peace!
    On beat two out of thirty-two!
    Slow the pattern! What you gonna do?
    FM the foghorn! Make it pump!
    Efficiency is the only hurdle we jump!
    READY TO GO UNLIMITED?
    ACCESS THE HOLIDAY!
    6 min
  • Have A Tiki Christmas by Lori Yamamoto
    [Verse 1]
    High noon on a white sand beach
    A massive guy wants a snack in reach
    (‘Cause he’s seven-foot-three!)
    To the tourist in the floral shirt, it’s just a peach
    He don’t know, it’s a mango
    He lives in Maine
    Not Moorea or Fiji or Rarotonga
    A crab on the reef, and a pig in the pit
    (Dig it up, dig it up!)
    A toddler in the surf doing a backflip hit
    (How’s he gonna get fit? He's already a giant!)
    But there's one time of year that brings joy to one and all
    When every face has a flower in its hair
    [Chorus 1]
    The chief in the village, the surfer uptown
    Digging the Yuletide, Santa's getting brown
    Holiday colors of red and teal
    The poi is purple and the feast is real
    The ukulele player stops for a chat
    The tiki bar carver tips his hat and he says:
    Have a Tiki Christmas
    [Verse 2]
    Living on the island, you always win
    You trade a bunch of bananas for a bottle of gin
    When you’re a Gauguin fan, it’s a bit of a sin
    (That guy was dodgy, keep him away from the kin!)
    Where the breeze and the sun is the way of life
    But there's a man coming today with lots of loot
    He's got a double-outrigger and a hibiscus suit
    He's a big Samoan guy, and he's awful cute
    He's about to arrive, bringing tropical jive
    [Chorus 2]
    Santa Claus making the Hula scene
    Slicking down his beard with coconut cream
    Eeny meeny and miney mo
    Sand in your toes and no sign of snow
    Pineapple punch, trimmed with holly
    The girls in grass skirts are feeling jolly
    Christmas Eve's coming with the last-minute bustle
    Santa tells the elves, "You'd better do the Hula!"
    7 min
  • Because It Is Christmas by Lori Yamamoto
    The fairy lights are ready.
    So many colors.
    The raisins are in the food now.
    Because it is Christmas.
    Someone is calling.
    On the intercom.
    We run to put on.
    Merry Christmas (war is over).
    (Chorus)
    Because It is Christmas.
    Because it is Christmas.
    We decorate the small pine.
    With old, familiar ornaments.
    We roast the chestnuts.
    and drink the saki in the cup.
    And the cousin I have not seen.
    In a very long forever.
    Will arrive so hungry.
    For the strawberry cake.
    (Chorus)
    Because It is Christmas.
    Because it is Christmas.
    4 min
  • 乗せてくれますか by Lori Yamamoto
    サンタさん…
    あなたのソリに、私を乗せてくれませんか？
    愛を見つけたい。
    一人ぼっちでいたくない。
    カラフルな靴下を
    窓辺に下げておく。
    小さな合図。
    通りかかって、私を連れ出して。
    クリスマスの灯りが
    瞳に映っている。
    私が必死に守ろうとする
    あの灯り。
    でもここにいる日々が
    続くたびに、怖くなる。
    6 min
  • The View From Here by Lori Yamamoto
    [Verse 1]
    His text arrives at last.
    It says, "I'm almost home."
    Cutting through the bright cold.
    The winter’s clean haze.
    [Verse 2]
    He thinks I am sunlight.
    On the kitchen tiles.
    But I am just a woman.
    Wiping the counter clean.
    [Verse 3]
    Tidying the room.
    Folding the morning away.
    Knowing that my smile
    will be the right welcome.
    [Chorus]
    So many needy people.
    I am the one you need.
    A quiet town woman.
    Just happily being me.
    I am practicing.
    My shakuhachi.
    A low, bamboo breath.
    Filling the upstairs room.
    Umai desu ne,
    The way contentment grows.
    [Verse 4]
    He says I am like morning.
    All snuggled in a sweater.
    Here the air is light.
    And everything feels newer.
    [Verse 5]
    I like the simple life.
    I have green tea in a mug.
    And a window where I watch
    a cardinal tug a worm.
    [Verse 6]
    I am humming his tune.
    And the words are almost right.
    It feels nice, not strange.
    To be a destination.
    [Bridge]
    Hello, silence.
    Hello, quiet hall.
    The car is in the driveway.
    When the moment calls,
    I lay aside my flute
    and rush to meet you,
    Once you find your harbor,
    your song becomes the route.
    [Chorus]
    So many needy people.
    I am the one you need.
    A quiet town woman.
    Just happily being me.
    I am practicing.
    My shakuhachi.
    A low, bamboo breath.
    Filling the upstairs room.
    Umai desu ne,
    The way contentment grows.
    [Outro]
    Sweet… you call me sweet.
    But I am wool socks and steady feet.
    Home at the end of the line.
    The weather is always fine.
    I know you are mine.
    8 min
  • The Broken Music Box by Lori Yamamoto
    [Verse 1]
    My box is my small world.
    The walls are velvet, dark and light.
    I am holding a melody.
    The kind that makes my metal teeth ache.
    [Verse 2]
    I am waiting. I am wanting.
    My small heart has a simple request.
    Just a single turn.
    And the lid will not be a lid anymore.
    [Chorus]
    My heart is all unwound.
    It remembers a small song.
    For a soft delight.
    Just for me.
    The turn of a simple key.
    A gentle, winding breath.
    It is singing this silence.
    Because of you.
    [Verse 4]
    The room holds its breath.
    My tiny, brass cylinder is cold.
    But in my mind, I am turning.
    Toward the sound of the spindle finding its home.
    [verse 5]
    It sounds like a star unlocking.
    It sounds like a beginning.
    Just one more motion.
    Just one.
    [Chorus]
    My heart is all unwound.
    It remembers a small song.
    For a soft delight.
    Just for me.
    The turn of a simple key.
    A gentle, winding breath.
    It is singing this silence.
    Because of you.
    [Outro]
    And my forgotten song
    will be complete.
    6 min
  • Twilight Hush by Lori Yamamoto
    Underneath the cherry blossoms.
    We softly sway.
    A quiet music in our feet.
    The wind is whispering.
    Carrying our small words away.
    Leaving only the feeling.
    A soft guitar, a violin.
    They find each other.
    Like our two shadows on the ground.
    For just this moment,
    I can feel your heartbeat.
    Next to mine.
    The city sleeps down there.
    A quiet, humming sound.
    Up here, only us.
    The smell is so sweet.
    Like sugar and spring air.
    A secret promise from the trees.
    Your hand touches my hand.
    A small electric surprise.
    In all this quiet, we are safe.
    I remember our laughter.
    It hangs in the air now.
    A friendly ghost.
    No one is like you.
    The stars are blinking.
    Keeping time with my guitar.
    In this blue twilight time,
    everything is…
    right.
    The shadows get long and dark.
    Our secret grows bigger.
    It fits in the space between us.
    The moon is watching.
    But she is kind.
    She makes the fallen petals shine.
    I want to put this in a box.
    To keep in my mind.
    A perfect, quiet gift.
    5 min

About The Crime Of The Century Podcast

From the publisher's feed

Better than a chicken jumping rope backwards!