In this episode of The CxC Show, Melanie Miller, LPC, Alcohol-Free Lifestyle Coach, and Registered Yoga Teacher, sits down with Jamie Coscia, LCSW and life coach, to explore the overlap between perfectionism, self-sabotage, alcohol use as a coping strategy, and the deep personal work required to break old patterns. 

Melanie and Jamie discuss how childhood environments shape our nervous systems, why many high-achieving women feel stuck or overwhelmed, and what it actually takes to rewire old programming so we can lead ourselves with confidence and clarity. 

Together, they explore: 
• How perfectionism forms in childhood and shows up in adulthood 
• The link between nervous system dysregulation, fear, avoidance, and “stuckness” 
• Why mindset work, somatic awareness, and self-leadership must work together 
• How Internal Family Systems (IFS), EFT/tapping, and yoga philosophy support healing 
• What it means to feel safe in your body after years of survival-mode living 6 Steps Toward Healing (Discussed in This Episode) 

1. Awareness: Recognizing where you feel stuck, what patterns are repeating, and and what changes you would like to make. 
2. Normalize Resistance: Change will always trigger resistance. The mind and body prefer familiar patterns—even if they’re painful. Expect resistance and understand it as part of the process, not a sign of failure. 
3. Listen Within: Your body and internal parts carry wisdom. Slowing down, getting quiet, and listening without judgment helps you understand what you truly need. 
4. Neutral Self-Talk: Before you can build confidence, you must stop the inner critic from running the show. Neutral, grounded language interrupts self-sabotage and creates emotional safety. 
5. Self-Compassion is treating yourself the way you would treat a child you love. Meeting your feelings with care rather than criticism makes healing possible. 
6. Acceptance softens resistance, relaxes the nervous system, and opens the door to real change. Acceptance does not mean approval—it simply means acknowledging what is so you can decide what comes next. 

About Jamie Coscia Jamie Coscia is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and life coach with nearly 30 years of experience helping people heal and thrive. She specializes in supporting high-achieving women over 40 in rewiring the self-sabotaging patterns that keep them stuck. Jamie blends evidence-based therapy, somatic awareness, and intuitive coaching. She is also trained in EFT/Tapping and helps clients calm their nervous systems, quiet their inner critic, and build confidence from the inside out. 

Connect with Jamie 
• Instagram: @jamiekashiainspiration 
• Facebook Group: Stuck to Unstoppable 
• Business Facebook Page: Time to Heal Coaching 
• Website: www.atimetohealcoaching.com (currently under construction) 

If you’re navigating perfectionism, self-sabotage, alcohol use, chronic overwhelm, or the ache of discontent and unfulfillment, this episode offers a grounded path forward. Through nervous system science, psychology, spirituality, IFS-informed work, and practical tools, Melanie and Jamie share what it means to break old patterns and build a more aligned, empowered life.

In this episode of The CxC Show, Melanie Miller, LPC, Alcohol-Free Lifestyle Coach, RYT-200 and Divorce Support specialist Leslie Mathews JD, MSW sit down to talk honestly about the immense stress, grief, loss and confusion of divorce, which often leads to maladaptive coping strategies, such as alcohol use. 

Together, they explore how easily our nervous system flips into survival mode, and why numbing with alcohol (or other strategies like compulsive dating, sex, or overworking) can prolong suffering, and prevent problem solving and decision making.

You’ll hear them unpack:

How divorce activates old wounds (abandonment, failure, not-enoughness)
The role of the nervous system: fight, flight, freeze, and the “window of tolerance”
Why alcohol feels like it’s helping in the moment but hijacks clarity, decision making, problem solving and sleep
How parts work/IFS (firefighters, managers, and “toddlers driving the bus”) shows up during divorce
The difference between therapy and divorce support/coaching, and when you might need each
Practical ways to ground yourself before, during, and after legal meetings or hard conversations
Healthy coping tools: breath, body scans, movement, self-pleasure, and genuine support instead of self-abandonment

This conversation is for you if:

You’re in the middle of a separation or divorce (or considering it)
You’re leaning on alcohol or other numbing strategies to get through the day
You feel flooded, shut down, or “offline” when you need to be making big decisions
You suspect old wounds are running the show and you want a clearer, kinder way forward

Wherever you are in the process: thinking about leaving, in the thick of it, or rebuilding after divorce, this episode offers a compassionate, grounded look at how to support your nervous system, protect your future, and move through divorce without abandoning yourself.

To learn more about Leslie Mathews, JD, MSW:

Website: theloomlife.com 
Facebook Group:  Women Navigating Divorce
YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@UCnGLaYf3da2-alPSciG6VjQ 
IG: @the.loom.life

About Melanie Miller, LPC, RYT-200
Alcohol Free Lifestyle Coach 

Melanie Miller is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC), Alcohol-Free Lifestyle Coach, and RYT-200 yoga teacher who helps women build a life they don’t need to escape from. Her approach centers on yoga philosophy, psychology and exploring the deeper layers of living alcohol-free, not just the “not drinking” part, but the identity shifts, self-trust, boundaries, nervous system regulation, and and all the internal work to become a person who no longer relies on on alcohol to cope with life. 

She lives in Ann Arbor, Michigan, where she also organizes Sober & Social Ann Arbor on Meetup, creating community for anyone wanting meaningful connection without alcohol.

The Sober Healing Journey with Kate Yoder 

In this episode, Melanie Miller interviews Kate Yoder, founder of Kate Yoder Wellness, about her journey to sobriety and how she helps women navigate their health post-alcohol. 

Kate shares her personal story of giving up alcohol in 2019, addressing the physical and emotional challenges that followed. She details her struggles with symptoms like food sensitivities, anxiety, and mast cell activation syndrome, and how she discovered the importance of gut and liver support in her healing journey. 

Kate emphasizes the importance of emotional release and physical detoxification, as well as the importance of listening to one's body. She also provides insights into effective health practices like optimizing circadian rhythm, managing blood sugar, and the impact of alcohol on overall well-being. 

The conversation highlights the struggles and triumphs of sobriety and encourages women to seek true holistic healing. 

00:00 Introduction and Guest Welcome 
03:30 Kate Yoder's Journey to Sobriety 
04:01 Challenges After Quitting Alcohol 
04:49 Discovering Root Cause Healing 
05:29 Severe Health Issues and Realizations 
06:45 Emotional and Physical Healing 
08:05 Helping Others Through Wellness 
08:57 Recognizing Alcohol as a Problem 
14:25 Sensitivity and Health Awareness 
15:43 Understanding Mast Cell Activation Syndrome 
18:02 Holistic Healing and Detoxification 
21:22 The Journey to Clear Skin 
24:35 Personal Experiences and Insights 
27:00 The Importance of Foundational Health Practices 
31:19 Challenges and Benefits of Sobriety 
33:53 Emotional and Physical Journey in Sobriety 
41:20 Final Thoughts and Encouragement

To learn more about Kate Yoder and her work, you can find her on Instagram @ Kate Yoder | Sober Healing (@kateyoderwellness) and www.KateYoderWellness.com.

If you’re on an alcohol-free journey and find yourself in a season where sobriety doesn’t feel light or rewarding, you’re not alone and you’re not doing anything wrong. For many, this phase is part of the deeper healing process.

Stay curious. Stay gentle with yourself. And remember: "the only way out is through!"

Wishing you steadiness and continued support on your sober journey.

Melanie Miller is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC), Alcohol-Free Lifestyle Coach, and RYT-200 yoga teacher who helps women build a life they don’t need to escape from. Her approach centers on yoga philosophy, psychology and exploring the deeper layers of living alcohol-free, not just the “not drinking” part, but the identity shifts, self-trust, boundaries, nervous system regulation, and and all the internal work to become a person who no longer relies on alcohol to cope with life. 

She lives in Ann Arbor, Michigan, where she also organizes Sober & Social Ann Arbor on Meetup, creating community for anyone wanting meaningful connection without alcohol.