The Dad I Want To Be with Mike Forrester

Breaking generational patterns starts when a man stops letting the limits he learned as a kid decide who he becomes. My guest Stephen Scoggins grew up in a trailer park where the power got cut off again and again. His father battled alcohol, a pattern that ran in his family. When Stephen was nine, his grandmother was diagnosed with cancer. She taught him to cook and get his little brother to the bus stop, and he became the caretaker. Years later he traced his family tree back 400 to 500 years. He found no one bearing his name who had built wealth, held influence, or kept a healthy marriage. He trained for months to join the Navy as his way out. At the processing station he was turned away over a test score and a spine condition. Within the hour he stood on a highway bridge ready to take his own life, and one phone call brought him back. Today he owns seven businesses and says success is no longer what matters most.

Three questions sit at the center of what Stephen teaches. Who am I? Why am I here? What do I do about it? He says most people jump to the third question before answering the first two, and that's how they end up stuck. He uses a jar of fleas to show how it happens. Fleas kept under a lid overnight learn to jump only as high as the lid. Men do the same when they decide one event sets their worth or their ceiling. He also offers a simple test for any goal. Ask what you want, then ask why you want it. A bigger house for a growing family comes from a different place than a bigger house to prove someone wrong. He leans on Les Brown's belief that a greater day is possible. Stephen says principles govern promises. The principles a man lives by move him toward being a better husband and father or further away from it.

The words that turned Stephen around came from his high school girlfriend's mother. She had him shout that this too shall pass, and what comes next will be greater. Three weeks later he started his first business with scrap material from a trash pile. His father showed up for the first time in his life and helped him build over a weekend. Stephen is honest about what still costs him. He once tied his worth to whether the people he loved were present. Being the caretaker without boundaries let others manipulate him, and he still fights workaholism. He also stopped wearing labels like dropout and dyslexic and found real gifts in vision and strategy. Mike Forrester lives and teaches that "it's not your fault, but it is your responsibility," and Stephen's story shows it. Play this one if you're a husband and father who catches his own dad's patterns showing up at home. Stephen's life shows your kids can inherit something different.

What You'll Learn In This Episode:

• Answer the three questions Stephen uses to find direction: who am I, why am I here, and what do I do about it.
• Spot the limits you learned as a kid that still decide how high you let yourself jump.
• Use the "why do I want this" test to tell a goal built on purpose from one built on old insecurity.
• Recognize how being the family caretaker without boundaries can open a man up to manipulation and workaholism.
• See how labels like dropout, dyslexic, or ADHD can point to strengths in vision, strategy, and problem solving.
• Name the patterns running through your family line so your marriage and your kids get something different.

The key moments in this episode are:

00:01:07 - why serving the person you used to be gives your life purpose

00:02:22 - why building seven businesses didn't bring fulfillment

00:05:56 - how one limiting belief keeps a man stuck after losing a job

00:07:04 - how we teach ourselves our limitations and pass them down

00:11:27 - how parents pass their beliefs and patterns to their kids

00:13:39 - growing up with an alcoholic father and absent parents

00:17:41 - when being the caretaker turns into workaholism and weak boundaries

00:22:38 - how to become the leader you always wanted to report to

00:25:10 - how to turn dyslexia and ADHD into strengths

00:27:49 - what to do when the plan for your life falls apart

00:32:42 - the words that helped him believe something better was coming

00:37:42 - why a greater day is possible no matter what you've been through

Stuck To Unstoppable Podcast:

https://stephenscoggins.com/stuck-to-unstoppable/

Facebook:

https://www.facebook.com/stephenscoggins

Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/stephen_scoggins/

https://linktr.ee/hicoachmike

I am joined this week by Joe Sanok, a TEDx and keynote speaker, podcast host of the top counseling and one of the top 50 podcasts globally of the ‘Practice of the Practice’ and author of ‘Thursday is the New Friday.’ He began his career as a counselor and then transitioned into a business consultant, helping other counselors and coaches expand their business. He lived on the road with his two daughters in a camper, doing school traveling the US.

Joe shares about the health challenges he and his family faced in 2012. The magnitude of these events fostered a desire to be intentional in his time and focus, to then live life more fully. He’s worked to create a solid and resourceful team, as well as outsourcing things in his personal life to allow him to spend more time with his daughters. Join me as Joe explains how we can shift our workweek, activities and perspective to experience joy and fulfillment in our life.

Connect with Joe Sanok

Thursday is the New Friday' book order:

https://www.joesanok.com/book

Websites:

https://www.joesanok.com/

https://www.practiceofthepractice.com/

Facebook:

https://www.facebook.com/practiceofthepractice/

Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/practiceofthepractice/

Connect with Mike Forrester

https://linktr.ee/hicoachmike

A few negative comments from strangers can shut a man down when they confirm something he already believes about himself. In this short episode, Mike Forrester explains the gaps in the episode numbering. Mike had put an ad out, and a handful of random men replied with negative comments. None of them were listeners. Their words were superficial, but Mike gave them power anyway. The comments fed beliefs he already carried about his voice and his presence, and he let them stop him for a while.

Mike talks about what changed. He stepped back, saw what was happening, and realized what he had done. He worked through it on his own side and came back to the microphone. The recap episodes that were held back will now be published, so listeners get that extra insight to work from. He also lays out a new rhythm for the show with three episodes a week. Tuesday stays the interview day, with men who share where they’ve come from and how they changed. Friday becomes a question and answer episode built on the common questions Mike hears from clients and listeners. Sunday is the recap and summary of the interview.

The Friday episodes are where you come in. Mike wants the practical questions men actually ask. Maybe you want to know how to get over something. Maybe you want to know what a change looks like in your daily life. You can send them by direct message on Instagram, Facebook, or LinkedIn, or by email at [email protected]. Mike’s own story here is a picture of the quiet way a man can shut down. Nobody yelled and nothing broke. A few harsh words just landed on an old belief, and he went silent. This one is for the dad with kids still at home who lets a few careless words convince him to stay quiet. He wants his kids to see a father who gets back up and keeps showing up.

What You’ll Learn In This Episode:

• Recognize when someone else’s careless comment is landing on a belief you already hold about yourself.
• See how shutting down after criticism can look quiet from the outside and still stop you cold.
• Learn how stepping back to see what happened helped Mike start again.
• Spot how putting yourself out there in your work can draw criticism, and decide whose opinion gets a say.
• See why getting back up after being shut down shows your kids a different way to handle harsh words.
• Use the Friday episodes to get practical answers to the questions you’d rather not ask out loud.

The key moments in this episode are:

00:00:23 - when negative comments confirm what you already believe about yourself

00:01:03 - how to step back after criticism shuts you down

00:01:29 - three new episodes each week, including guest interviews

00:01:51 - Friday episodes answering men’s most common questions

00:02:39 - Sunday recap episodes and how to send Mike your questions

Connect with Mike Forrester

https://linktr.ee/hicoachmike

In this episode, I’m joined by Wade Stewart, a business owner and author. He, like so many of us, found his life out of control and reflected unwanted results. He carved out time to perform a personal retreat where he took time to reflect on what he wanted versus where he was in life. Consistently seeing there wasn’t enough time in his day, being overweight, eating unhealthy and feeling distance within his relationships, Wade did what few do. He took a stand to correct these consequences when we’re not intentional about our actions.

Wade found success in his new business, but that same success also created a chain to which he was bound. Even with a plan in hand, he encountered unexpected hurdles and setbacks. Yet, those didn’t stop him from achieving progress in pursuing the life Wade desires. Listen to this week’s episode of the Living Fearless Today podcast to see how Wade has taken tangible steps to improve his life and how you and I can too.

Connect with Wade Stewart

Website:

https://www.personalretreat.training/

Amazon – “Personal Retreat” book:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/0999690949

Facebook:

https://www.facebook.com/thepersonalretreat/

Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/thepersonalretreat/

Connect with Mike Forrester

https://linktr.ee/hicoachmike

This week I am joined by Rick Ornelas, founder of 'I Spark Change' and author of '12 Hours of Heaven: Lessons for a Better World.' His passion is to serve people and he has been focused on guiding others through self-improvement for many years. Last year, while working to remain in a healthy space himself, he birthed 'I Spark Change' to bring about a way for people to connect and collaborate in creating positive change in our world.

Twenty years ago, from a horrible car accident he and his family miraculously escaped, he began a journey of personal growth and transformation. He worked on himself, his listening and communicating with others, as well as coaching businesses and people to experience their own development. Join me as Rick shares about the path the accident set him on, the way '12 Hours of Change' first came about and his heart for creating 'I Spark Change.'

Connect with Rick Ornelas

Website:

https://isparkchange.com/

I Spark Change Facebook Group:

https://www.facebook.com/isparkchange/

Facebook:

https://www.facebook.com/rick.ornelas

Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/rickornelas/

Connect with Mike Forrester

https://linktr.ee/hicoachmike

I am joined this week by Mike Zeller, a business architect who's passionate about strategizing with entrepreneurs to help them discover their zone of genius. He's founded and co-founded a total of 16 companies, as well as investing in 4 others. Yet along the way, Mike has also experienced challenges - in 2018, he lost close to $1 million. Shortly after that, his wife was bedridden due to illness. A lot to shoulder when you're a new husband.

As Mike has gone through these challenges and successes, he has purposefully invested in his self-knowledge and leadership. For example, to test himself personally, he started three businesses in a one-year timeframe. Mike has developed a framework to discover your genius and sweet spot from which to operate that stems from growing himself and coaching others. You'll hear Mike clearly explain his areas of gifting, as well as those areas he turns over the reins to others who are gifted in areas he is not. Join me as Mike shares how you and I can determine our zone of genius too.

Connect with Mike Zeller

Six Step Guide to Finding Your Genius:

Text 2474747 with "GeniusU"

'Genius Within' book pre-order:

https://geniuswithin.com

Website:

https://www.mikezeller.com/

Facebook:

https://www.facebook.com/MichaelRZeller/

Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/themikezeller/

LinkedIn:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/michaelrzeller/

Connect with Mike Forrester

https://linktr.ee/hicoachmike

"How did I become this guy?" is a question many men ask after divorce, and the way back often starts with taking care of themselves. My guest John Boghos asked it out loud on the day his second wife moved out. He had jumped into dating right after a 16-year marriage and never stopped to heal. Now he was nearly 330 pounds and on blood pressure medication. He was living alone in Georgia, estranged from his daughter, and distant from his whole family. People had called him Big John for years, and he hated it. His job and his coworkers were all he had left. He was existing instead of living, and he had stopped dreaming about what his life could be. Sitting in a chair staring out at the cul-de-sac, he decided he'd had enough.

John names four fights he had to win. He fought his fears and the labels other people put on him. He fought to find his identity. He also fought to keep going until he finished what he started. His first move was the one thing he could control, which was his health. He tracked his food in an app and walked his neighborhood at 5 a.m. because he couldn't afford a gym. He changed food from a reward into fuel. His mentor Doug taught him that fear stands for future events appear real. John calls it smuggling fears from the future into today. To find out who he was, he tried new things alone, like a farmers market or a sit-down restaurant. He kept a journal of what he liked. Today he starts most days early with coffee, his planner, a journal, and his Bible. When the scale stalled for weeks, community and a coworker named Sam kept him going.

The heart of John's story is what happened when he stopped hiding. He says isolation felt safe because nobody knew his junk. He moved back to Florida to be near his family, and his mom told him their family was whole again. He realized his absence had left a John-sized hole in the lives of the people who loved him. He can't get those years back, but he can show up now. John also admits he knew how to be a husband and an everyday dad, but he didn't know who he was. Mike Forrester lives and teaches that a man needs to know who he is without any title. Then he brings that same man into every role he fills. John's story speaks to the dad who can play every part at home but can't say what he enjoys. It shows him where to start.

What You'll Learn In This Episode:

• Use John's definition of fear, future events appear real, to stop worrying about things that may never happen.
• Start with your health when everything else feels out of your control.
• See how using food as a reward can keep a man stuck, and how to treat it as fuel instead.
• Learn the four fights a man faces when he decides enough is enough.
• Walk through a simple way to find out who you are by trying new things and writing down what you like.
• Recognize how pulling away from your family and kids leaves a hole only you can fill.

The key moments in this episode are:

00:02:41 - how to stop worrying about things that may never happen

00:04:40 - hitting rock bottom after a second divorce

00:07:09 - breaking free of a label people put on you

00:08:55 - where to start when your life falls apart

00:11:58 - how fear keeps you from dreaming about a better life

00:15:53 - how pulling away from family costs you more than you think

00:18:53 - losing your identity in marriage and fatherhood

00:20:44 - how to stop using food as a reward

00:23:09 - the four fights a man faces when he says enough is enough

00:24:21 - how to stop bringing tomorrow's fears into today

00:29:12 - why isolation feels safe and how community helps you keep going

00:32:20 - a morning routine that keeps you grounded

Connect with John Boghos

Website:

www.regenerationproject.co

Email:

[email protected]

Facebook:

https://www.facebook.com/theregenproject/

Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/theregenproject/

Connect with Mike Forrester

https://linktr.ee/hicoachmike

A man who doubts every decision he makes, wondering over and over whether it's the right one, usually learned as a boy that being himself wasn't safe. He starts trusting his gut again by getting clear on what he values. Michael Unbroken learned that growing up in Indianapolis. He was raised by a mother fighting addiction and an abusive stepfather, and he never met his father. His family was so poor the water company shut off their water. By fifteen he'd been expelled from school. He was selling drugs, breaking into houses, and stealing cars. He decided money was the way out and promised himself $100,000 a year by twenty-one, legally. He made it with a Fortune 10 company. The money brought an $80,000 car and a condo, but he still lived paycheck to paycheck. He weighed 350 pounds, smoked two packs a day, and drank himself to sleep. One day he looked in the bathroom mirror and didn't recognize the face. He remembered being eight, carrying a little blue bucket across the street to fill at a neighbor's spigot. That day he'd promised himself this would never be his life. On paper, it wasn't. So he asked himself, "Michael, what are you willing to do to have the life that you wanna have?"

In this conversation, Michael and Mike Forrester dig into what he built from that question. Michael runs every decision through four values: honesty, kindness, self-actualization, and leadership. He found them by typing words into a dictionary website and writing down what each one meant to him. That filter guides the hard calls, from letting a team member go to leaving a relationship. He explains why a boy punished for being himself grows into a man who argues with his own gut. For his health, those values show up in daily choices. He gets up early to work out, journals, drinks his water, and doesn't get drunk every night. He grew up terrified of money and blew nearly a million dollars. Now he invests in himself in proportion to what he earns and stays out of bad debt. Mike admits he's always been his own hardest critic. Michael's answer is to give yourself grace first so it can spill over to everyone else.

The turn comes with the friends who didn't come along. Michael invited people from home to come see the life he'd built. He couldn't pay most of them to get on the plane. He chose not to stay bitter. He let those friendships be what they were for as long as they lasted. He meets people halfway instead of holding them to his values. It's the same line Mike lives and teaches. What happened to you as a boy wasn't your fault, and what you do with it now is your responsibility. This one is for the man with the job and the paycheck who still doubts every call he makes. It's especially for the dad with kids at home who wants them to grow up trusting their own.

What You'll Learn In This Episode:

• Use a short list of values you've defined for yourself to make decisions at work and at home without doubting every call.
• Recognize why a man raised in a hard home learns to talk himself out of his gut, and how to start listening to it again.
• See how a successful career can sit on top of a man who's drinking himself to sleep, and why the paycheck never fixes that.
• Spot the fear of money that growing up poor leaves behind, and invest in yourself in proportion to what you earn without going into debt.
• Learn to give yourself grace first when you're your own hardest critic, so your wife and kids get the patience you've been withholding from yourself.
• Walk through what to do when old friends stop supporting the man you're becoming.

The key moments in this episode are:

00:02:12 - How to use your core values to make better decisions

00:04:44 - How to trust your gut instead of doubting every decision

00:07:12 - Why a man raised in a hard home feels like he doesn't know how to be himself

00:09:47 - How to find and define your own personal values

00:12:43 - How to stop being your own hardest critic

00:13:35 - Growing up with abuse, poverty, and a father he never met

00:15:14 - Why a six-figure income didn't fix his health or his self-worth

00:18:27 - Why he spent years telling therapists what they wanted to hear

00:31:23 - How growing up poor turns into a fear of money

00:34:46 - How to invest in yourself without going into debt

00:36:52 - What real change costs in time, effort, energy, and money

00:39:58 - What to do when old friends stop supporting the man you're becoming

Connect with Michael Unbroken

Website:

https://www.thinkunbroken.com/

Facebook:

https://www.facebook.com/MichaelUnbroken/

Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/michaelunbroken/

Connect with Mike Forrester

https://hicoachmike.com/

Anthony Trucks shares his insights on how to help you and me upgrade our life and turn our dreams into reality. At the core is an identity shift, and Anthony certainly is well-versed in this process. Going from foster care, then adopted at 14 years old and his mom is diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. Football was where he first found his rhythm; he worked hard to find his skill and footing like anything new we start.

Anthony takes us with him by honing his football skills, the challenges football presented and how he genuinely became comfortable with uncomfortable situations. In addition, he shares that the process of upgrading computer hardware and software to the work we need to do within and on ourselves to reach that next level we’re longing to attain. The details of the process are revealed in-depth within his newly released book ‘Identity Shift.’ If you purchase it, be sure to use the code “live” at www.identityshiftbook.com to receive additional bonuses Anthony has lined up.

Connect with Anthony Trucks

Website:

https://anthonytrucks.com/

https://identityshiftbook.com/

Facebook:

https://www.facebook.com/AnthonyTrucks

Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/anthonytrucks/

Connect with Mike Forrester

https://linktr.ee/hicoachmike

At the age of 55, as Alan Thomas stepped onto his scale, it read 304 pounds. Something in seeing that number caused him to pause and assess his current state and his possible future. As an insurance agent to those in the age bracket of 65 years and older, he realized that his choice was to either become the ‘first husband’ to his wife or take action at this potential turning point. He was sold-out on success; there was no other option to him. It was a foregone conclusion that he would no longer remain at 304 pounds.

Listen in as Alan talks about how he felt as the scale showed an uncomfortable point he’d reached, the potential path to being dead within ten years, the resolute stand he took to regain his health and lose the extra weight. This decision changed his marriage and relationship with his children and created an opportunity for him to coach others to their own life-changing weightloss success experience.

Join Alan and me for a 45-minute private training:

Monday, August 23rd at 7:00PM Eastern/4:00PM Pacific

https://transformmyfuture.com/fearless

Connect with Alan Thomas

Website:

https://transformmyfuture.com

Facebook:

https://www.facebook.com/transformmyfuture

Connect with Mike Forrester

https://linktr.ee/hicoachmike