The Dan Brown Code

By absolutely no demand, here is a mini episode in which Forrest and Lina watch the very bizarre and very cinephilic music video for “Don’t Lose My Number” by Phil Collins. The last episode of Digifort will be on its way shortly. Follow us @DanBrownCodePod. Follow Lina at @LinaJemili and Forrest at @WishboneUlysses. Art by @omarjemili on IG. You can email us at [email protected] you for rating and reviewing us on iTunes! It helps us reach more people and grow our secret society. Please make us famous enough to do ads for postage websites.

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In this episode, Forrest and Lina get back to the action in Chapters 91-105 of The Book That Never Ends. Things are moving quickly, like how a person is technically moving quickly whey they’re frantically skidding down a steep hill with little to no traction. Dan brown leans heavily on the bait-and-switch gunshot, Susan doesn’t even try to be the protagonist, and Strathmore’s disgusting fantasy comes crashing down around him. Also, where is all this steam coming from? What? Follow us @DanBrownCodePod. Follow Lina at @LinaJemili and Forrest at @WishboneUlysses. Art by @omarjemili on IG. You can email us at [email protected] you for rating and reviewing us on iTunes! It helps us reach more people and grow our secret society. Please make us famous enough to do ads for postage websites.

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Remember when we said the last episode was delayed? Lol. While the intro says that this is Chapters 81-100, Forrest and Lina have had mercy on you and cut it in half. Strathmore is caught in his own web of lies, Greg Hale predicts our current political crisis, and Lina is frustrated to the point of throwing objects by wordplay, Also, we get a behind the scenes look into the origin story of Suspense Master Dan Brown. Follow us @DanBrownCodePod. Follow Lina at @LinaJemili and Forrest at @WishboneUlysses. Art by @omarjemili on IG. You can email us at [email protected] you for rating and reviewing us on iTunes! It helps us reach more people and grow our secret society. Please make us famous enough to do ads for mattresses.

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Lina is in ~*~Law School Finals~*~ so this episode is very much delayed, but in her defense Dan Brown doesn’t pay her bills (yet ;) ). In this episode, Forrest and Lina parachute down into Chapters 61-80 of Digital Fortress. Susan is the sidekick and bargaining chip in her own story; Dan Brown “doesn’t see color”; and sexual violence its threatened but like, just for fun. Also, David Becker is criminally incompetent and probably should be assassinated after all. Follow us @DanBrownCodePod. Follow Lina at @LinaJemili and Forrest at @WishboneUlysses. Art by @omarjemili on Instagram. You can email us at [email protected] you for rating and reviewing us on iTunes! It helps us reach more people and grow our secret society. Please make us famous enough to do ads for postage websites.

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In this episode, Forrest and Lina strap into Chapters 41-60 of Digital Fortress. This section is much like a carnival ride in that it’s grotesque, it’s shoddily constructed, and while it may have seemed exciting when we were younger, it’s just nauseating now. We are graced by the presence of an actual Chad; Dan Brown’s avatar lectures a child punk on property law; and frankly there is too much fat phobia, ableism, gratuitous sex, and gross food stuff to even list in my snarky little recap. Also, this poor pastry chef is in for a hell of a yeast infection. Follow us @DanBrownCodePod. Follow Lina at @LinaJemili and Forrest at @WishboneUlysses. You can email us at [email protected] you for rating and reviewing us on iTunes! It helps us reach more people and grow our secret society. If you listen through the very end, you’ll be exposed to perhaps the greatest pearl of wisdom.

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In this episode, Forrest and Lina get back to the action in Chapters 21-40 of Digital Fortress. Dan Brown has finished his heavy exposition dump, and we made the mistake of walking into the bathroom after him. Susan lets a sexy eugenicist down easy, Becker is on a mad dash to show off how many languages he can speak, and a sex workers is (almost) humanized. Also, we have the pleasure of reading the best line DB has ever written and will ever write, and it’s delivered by a gay stereotype living his best life. Follow us @DanBrownCodePod. Follow Lina at @LinaJemili and Forrest at @WishboneUlysses. You can email us at [email protected]’t forget to rate and review us on iTunes! It helps us reach more people and grow our secret society. We both love you but Lina loves you more.

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In this episode, Forrest and Lina bust into Digital Fortress, Dan Brown’s first experiment in putting a lot of sentences together in a row. The latent Mary Sue misogyny is wilding, but the plot so far is very, very tame. Unbounded by his promise to stick to the facts, the Brownster treats us to garbage cryptography that can’t possibly make any sense, a picture of the NSA that is nothing less than heroic, and a lot of misappropriations of Japanese religion. Also, Dan Brown REALLY hates people with disabilities. Sorry for the unplanned hiatus. Lina just started law school. Follow us @DanBrownCodePod. Follow Lina at @LinaJemili and Forrest at @WishboneUlysses. You can email us at [email protected]’t forget to rate and review us on iTunes! It helps us reach more people and grow our secret society. We love you.

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This week (or more like last week because I was a full week late) Forrest and Lina watch the Major Motion Picture, The Da Vinci Code, directed by Ron Howard and starring Tom Hanks and Audrey Tautou, all of whom can catch these hands. In fact, they watch the Director’s Cut, which is an extra 27 minutes of absolutely nothing. For that, Forrest can catch these hands. In this film, Robert Langdon is a psychic superhero, Sophie has the power to telepathically heal phobias, and Alfred Molina is impeccably cast. Also, this podcast is a BIG fan of self-flagellating religious zealots with albinism, so long as they’re sexy. Follow us @DanBrownCodePod. Follow Lina at @LinaJemili and Forrest at @WishboneUlysses. You can email us at [email protected]’t forget to rate and review us on iTunes! It helps us reach more people and grow our secret society. We love you.

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In this episode, Forrest and Lina are finally free from the tyranny of the best-selling novel of all time as the plot is (disappointingly) revealed and then quickly wrapped up. Robert Langdon gets to play house with another pretty-but-not-too-pretty, smart-but-not-too-smart European woman, Dan Brown Dan-splains all the wrong things, and Silas finally wins our hearts in the end. Also, I hope you like the word "burgeon" because we get a LOT of this in this section. Our next book is Digital Fortress! None of us know what to expect. You can follow the podcast @DanBrownCodePod or find us on Facebook! Forrest can be found @WishboneUlysses and Lina can be found @LinaJemili. You can also email us at [email protected] the one person who dm'd me (Lina) a sword, I love you. To everyone else, dm me a sword or chalice emoji so I know it's real and you will also earn my love. I'm that cheap.

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In this penultimate dive into the best-selling novel of all time (again, wow), Forrest and Lina read chapters 61-80 of The Da Vinci Code. Robert Langdon has gone full red string-on-cork board bananas, Silas is losing his religion in the corner, and we are treated to some incredible badassery on Leigh Teabing's part despite how creepy he is. Also, Sophie finally reveals the apparently inexcusable thing she saw her grandfather doing, and it is VERY disappointing. Follow us on Twitter @danbrowncodepod. Lina can be found @LinaJemili, and Forrest can be found at @WishboneUlysses. You can also email us at [email protected]. If you're reading the show notes, I (Lina) love you. Drop me a sword or chalice emoji in the DMs so I know it's real.

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