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"Cause that would mean you're not wearing your glove. You gotta have a glove on."
Jazz Chisholm was caught sucking on a Blow Pop at 2nd base during a Yankees game, but what if he were freebasing? JuJu stops by to discuss the NBA Draft, his Joker of the Day, and the Ghanian witch doctor that cursed Harry Kane.
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"What I just said is completely untrue."
Jessica is here to discuss why Becky Hammon has been forced to apologize to Jalen Brunson while other pundits have not, and Zaslow breaks the news to us: It's because she's a woman. She also tells us why Zaslow has become the face of the ugly American that loves money, and Domonique weighs in on the NFL's decision not to hold a Supplemental Draft for Brendan Sorsby. Plus, Tony has to fire his pool guy.
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"You guys heard about the invasion tonight?"
A Brazilian psychic has predicted an alien invasion during the Brazil-Scotland game in Miami tonight. Are we rooting for this to happen? Plus, Jeremy joins us live from the Marlins game to tell us whether or not he was freeballin' under the kilt he wore at the Tartan Army takeover at the Marlins' game on Monday night.
But most importantly, Zaslow takes a moment to send our love and condolences to David Samson after he announced the passing of his daughter, Kyra. If you feel inclined to make a memorial gift, please consider "The Kyra Fund": https://fundraise.gbmresearch.org/campaign/812889/donate.
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"I only have so many things."
How do you answer the phone? Why are they calling, send a text? If somebody answers the phone with 'yeah', does that person hate you? Does Nick Wright have that lev? Is AJ Dybantasa enough to get Domonique to go to Washington Wizards games?
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"I work at ESPN, I ain't got no lev."
Zaslow is running point today with Dan out, and he wants to know whether the Florida Panthers owe Sergei Bobrovsky the contract that will take him to the end of his career. He also walks us through his experience watching Winning Time with his younger son, a show that features a lot of sex scenes. Plus, we give Tyler Herro the proper send-off and appreciation he deserves by debating whether he would come off the bench before or after Shane Battier on an all-time Miami Heat roster.
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"That's a good angle for me."
JuJu feels like a broken Celtics fan because of the joy he's experienced for the Knicks and Heat recently, and he has a Top 5 List of Free Agents For The Heat to Keep an Eye On. Also, it's time for the crew to unfurl a new banner for winning the Tuesday Offseason Title.
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"The bed's upstairs."
Michelle Beadle is excited about the Giannis trade for one person and one person only: Bobby P. Mike Ryan is here to celebrate... the Brady Tkachuk trade. Is Brady better at hockey than Giannis is at basketball at this point? Also, the World Cup has Mike and Jeremy believing in humans again.
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"I don't have an office."
He doesn't. He stole nothing. He steals nothing. He would never. Not from Mr. Smith. BUT he does have some updates for the crew on how the whole trade saga unfolded for the Heat, Bucks, and Giannis. Plus, Amin sticks around despite his better judgment, a shoutout to Heat PR, and Chris Cote juggles.
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"You know what that means..."
Jorge Sedano, Amin Elhassan, and Ernie Johnson all stop by to correct Dan's analysis for why this trade is an EARTH-SHAKING, LEAGUE-DEFINING move for the Miami Heat. Or at least they get close to that. They explain how the Heat will build the roster, how Giannis will continue to succeed through the rest of his career, and the pressure of being a basketball historian.
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"Bring out the cocaine!"
GIANNIS. ANTETOKOUNMPO. IS. ON. THE. MIAMI. HEAT. THE TRADE IS HAPPENING. SOUND THE ALARMS. (Unless you're concerned about health like Dan.) IT'S TIME TO CELEBRATE IN THE STREETS. (Unless you're concerned about age like Dan.) ZAS WAS RIGHT. TONY IS SCREAMING. CHRIS IS BANGING POTS AND PANS. DOMONIQUE...IS HERE. JEREMY IS INTERVIEWING FANS OUTSIDE THE ARENA.
Today's cast: Dan, Domonique, Roy, Chris, Jeremy, Tony, and Zaslow.
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